not liking to be touched by dh

okay--i'll be candid. i have a very low libido and takes awhile to get 'revvedup'. This is fairly new and not usual. i especially do not want dh touching the ''nursies'' even though they look 'great', full, and all that. Babies are touching all around the clock! :laughing: They get sucked on enough!! Sorry if this is TMI, but I need advice f/ other breastfeeding MoMs :FIFblush:
Oh, and dh is not so happy about this, btw.... :sorry:

 

Well, I don't really have any advice, just wanted to say that I'm in the same boat! I'm so with you!! My girls are almost a year and I'm still not into it! Poor DH! I guess I do suck it up every once in a while and let him have a little go at things, but not often. I also often ask that he leave the nipples alone, I don't mind so much if he's just grabbing elsewhere! Thats my form of a compromise.

Good Luck. We can hope together that things just eventually get better!

 

I was exactly the same way. I ended up weaning the babes at 7mths for various reasons and in the last month I've actually gotten to the point where I don't feel like sighing with frustration when DH heads to the "ladies". I'm starting to see my old 'Revved up engine' returning in the last 2mths also....

So don't fear! There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

 

i had the same issue - it's very normal. i'm just finding now that my libido is semi getting back to normal. i found sex to be quite painful after the girls were born, probably until they were almost a year old - i got checked out just in case something was wrong, but everything was fine. i think my body just hormonally didn't respond to DH the way it did pre-babies. :unknw: once that changed though and it wasn't painful anymore, i still just really wasn't terribly interested - we chatted though and i asked him how often he needs to have sex to feel intimate & loved. he thought about it & came back with at least twice a week (although it doesn't always have to mean intercourse). so i've committed to twice a week. if it spontaneously happens more than that, great! but we always get it on at least twice.

as for the breasts, it really depended for me - sometimes i really, really, really just couldn't hack it (they were sore or overly sensitive or whatever) and i would ask him to stop. other times, if it was just that i wasn't thrilled about it but felt i could handle it, i would let him go & just mentally try to get in the game (that often helped). i don't know - i think it's about communicating & compromising & finding what works for the two of you. GL!

 

I can totally relate. I can't stand to have my nipples touched (only since having the babies). I think it's gotten worse since I am pregnant again. Sometimes I ask him to stop or tell him that he can touch anywhere except my nipples (he isn't too excited about that idea). Other times I just try to deal with it. For me it's that they are very sensitive, not so much in pain.

 

Oh do I ever hear ya on this one! My boobs are totally off limits to my husband, actually. I am groped and grabbed enough all day long by two babies, I have no desire to have a grown man groping on them too! My libido is also SO low, I am nervous that it won't ever come back. Maybe TMI also, but we've only had sex four or five times since the babies were born and they are six months old now! A while ago we talked about it and he requested at least once every two weeks (which was totally reasonable, in my opinion!), but we just never get around to it. I think that he is feeling so rejected that he's just given up trying altogether, and I am so uninterested that I don't even really care that he isn't trying. The rest of our relationship is great, but I do worry about the toll it will take on our marriage if this keeps up long term. Besides the babes we are also in the middle of a stressful move overseas, so I'm hoping that once we are settled and that stress is gone as well as the babies sleeping through more which they recently started doing maybe we can focus on a little love in the bedroom every once in a while.

I think I'm going to have to work first though at making him feel wanted and attractive again. I think his ego is pretty bruised up. He on the other hand is great and makes me feel attractive and loved all of the time, I just never give him anything for it! haha

I hope the libido returns soon!

 

It's good to not be the only one. I hear it comes back, but I could care right now! I do think it hurts the men when we ladies reject them, though, so unless I have a really good reason, I try to go with the flow. I consider it very important to him and it does not usually hurt me- I just don't really care.

My only complaint is please do not try right as I'm trying to fall asleep. How about after the babies go to bed, or before the TV goes on? When I'm laying my head down to sleep, I'm really relaxing to fall asleep, not wind up for sex.

Sounds like we all have some homework for the men tonight, lol!

 

Wow, I thought it was just me! Now I can tell him this is completely normal. One night I was nursing a baby laying on my side and DH was on the other side of me trying to have his way. I almost cried and I made him leave me alone. It's hard being a wife and a mother of babies at the same time. Everybody wants something from you.

 

oh, this has SOOOO helped!! Thank you for letting Me know I'M not alone!! :grouphug:

 

I think for me it's not just the nursing all day, but a hormonal thing. AF just came back a few weeks ago and sex is so much better in the last month! But my nipples are still overly sensitive. So I don't mind his hands on my breasts, just not the nipples really. Of course with my twins, AF didn't come back for 17 months, which was a really long time. Luckily my DH was mostly patient with my slacking libido.

It took a long time, but my DH finally grasps that I HATE being woken up for it. When I'm still asleep and there are no kids crying, LET ME SLEEP. Other than that, I'm good, personally. But I totally get what you're saying.

 

Oh, and I'm a homeschooling mom of 6 kiddos, too!

 

This is not what you (or your DH's) want to hear but I couldn't stand to have my breasts touched in a sexual way until about a year after weaning. And I weaned at 15 months, so until my children were two. My solution was to simple tell DH not to go there because if he did it was a complete turn off.

 

I am so glad i found this post!
I have no libido at all!
I have started to worry about our sexlife (lack of ) and the effect it might be having on our marriage. Sorry if TMI but we haven't been intimate fully since I think 2 months before babies were born! And I have no desire what so ever to change that.

I think for me it's a body issue, as having these babies was not kind at all to my body and I'm still healing, and not feeling very attractive. Funnily enough, I've lost most of the weight, if not more. And of course I have babies touching and feeding all day so the last thing I want is another person at my body.
I feel bad for dh but not enough that I want to do anything about it, and feel so selfish but I don't/can't know how to get over this.

I know my husband loves me, but I can't help thinking he would be happier if certain 'things' were different. :friends: