Do Dr's think all mother's are babbling morons?

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by jendisney8, Jun 12, 2010.

  1. jendisney8

    jendisney8 Member

    So last Sunday DD Luciana woke up with a fever. She was fussy and had no appetite. She never tugged at her ear or did any of the usual things she does if she has an ear infection. I noticed her crying and putting her hands to her mouth. We took her to the ER b/c I didn't want to chance anything, especially if she had sores in her mouth. I know for me it's hard to get comfortable if I have canker sores, I didn't want her to suffer anymore then she had to. The doc came in and started looking in her ears. I told him I think it's something with her mouth b/c she cries when anything goes near it, even if it's her pacifier, which usually brings her comfort. I told him I don't think it's her ears, she's had ear infections in the past and she hasn't shown the usual signs. He essentially ignored me as if I was a babbling moron and began to write out a Rx for an ear infection. He said her ear's a "little red, not too bad". I told him it may have been red b/c she was screaming as he was looking in her ear. Crying can make the ear canal appear red. Who's the Dr here? I kept telling him I think it's in her mouth. Apparently I was talking to the wall as he sent us home with some ear drops and the Rx. Well the ear drops never helped. Her appetite was completely gone. She couldn't even put her pacifier in her mouth b/c it hurt so bad. I knew this wasn't right. I called her pedi when the offices opened on Monday. By then her sisters began getting the same sympoms. We got her in, I explained the situation. It took about half a second for the nurse practitioner to discover all the sores in her mouth and the back of her throat. I felt awful! She must have been in pure misery. Turns out she has Hand, Foot Mouth disease, aka coxsackie virus. They just never got the sores on their extremities,like some kids do.

    I was so relieved to figure out what was wrong with her. I was also furious that this could have been diagnosed earlier in the ER. Turns out her sister had the same thing. I just feel awful b/c I was trying to push fluids, like juice, which must have been awful on those sores. Not to mention I was trying to give orajel b/c I thought she may have been getting her second year molars. Poor things. Now we are on the road to recovery. Phew! Sorry for the vent, I'm just a little frustrated. This is just a lesson to always be your childs advocate and never ignore your mother intuition!
     
  2. lawilliams77

    lawilliams77 Well-Known Member

    Sorry about your bad experience. I don't think all providers think mothers are babbling idiots. I do think it may be the difference between an ER provider and a clinic provider. At any rate, hugs, glad the kiddos are on the road to recovery.
     
  3. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    that really sucks - i'm so sorry that that doctor didn't listen to you. :hug: my girls also didn't have any sores on their hands or feet when they had it.

    i agree with PP that i think it's much more common to have your opinions glossed over in the ER than at your own doc's.
     
  4. lianyla

    lianyla Well-Known Member

    That's why it's best to steer clear of the ER unless you've split your head wide open. :) I learned this the hard way- much like u have. I feel the same about urgent care, as well. Unless we're half dead- we wait to see a "real" provider now. Otherwise, I end up more upset and in a VERY bad mood!

    GLad things are okay now.
     
  5. cjk2002

    cjk2002 Well-Known Member


    I have to agree. I've heard numerous stories from family and friends about being misdiagonosed in the ER. When she was 3 my nieces daughter got a gash in her head. She said "the kitty did it". They did not know if the cat scratched her or hit her with it's paw, scared her and made her fall. So she took her to the ER. They stiched it up and wrapped up her head. All the while my niece kept saying I think the cat scratched her. Days later her wound became infected. It was a caused by the cat and by stitching and wrapping up her head just made it even worse. Her pedi removed the stiches and prescibed antibiotics.

    I would be fuming mad at the ER doc. I would send a letter directly to him with something from your pedi with the proper diagnosis. I would also call your insurance company and the hospital's billing department.
     
  6. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I am sorry that you and your DD had to go through that. I am glad your pedi is treating it and I agree with PP that unless my pedi tells me too, I don't go to the ER. :hug:
     
  7. nateandbrig

    nateandbrig Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you went through that! I went through something similar with my mom when she was really sick and it made me so mad!! I do avoid ER's and if I do have to go to one I make sure that they call the Ped doc on duty.
    I hope they are feeling better soon!
     
  8. Shohenadel

    Shohenadel Well-Known Member

    That's awful. I feel for you. It's funny I was just talking with my husband today about hand, foot and mouth disease. I got it about a year and a half ago and it was the worst!!!!!! I had sores all over my mouth and throat and I felt terrible. So I can really feel for you and your child! I hope she feels better soon!

    Shannon
     
  9. aimeemorgan1218

    aimeemorgan1218 Well-Known Member

    What a terrible experience. Hope they are well soon. I'd definitely get the correct dx to that ER doctor someway. I have learned more than once to listen to my Mommy Brain!
     
  10. jaclynkoehl

    jaclynkoehl Well-Known Member

    My heart goes out to you! I'm so glad to hear that you're now on the right track. If you feel comfortable doing so, I would suggest calling or writing the hospital to give them feedback regarding your experience. A good health care organization would value this feedback. AND, if it helps improve the Dr's bedside manner then you've just helped all the other kids that he'll see in the future...

    Like the other Moms on the board I do try to stay away from the ER though and tend to opt for urgent care. But, we've also had issues with one of the docs at urgent care. One of the features of the pedi we go to is access to an after hours nurse line. It goes like this: Call in and talk to the nurse. She takes a complete history of the issue and offers immediate guidance. If the situation warrants she consults with the Doc on duty at the hospital. A few times we recieved the needed help without having to leave the house and other times they recommend getting to either urgent care or just waiting to see the pedi in the morning. We've used this a few times with great outcomes. I don't know if this service is common or if it's one of the benefits of living in a big city.
     
  11. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    One of my friends' fiance had a series of trips to the ER since March (he's young and in really good shape) and the ER doctors told him "to quit doing steroids". The real problem? He was having a series of heart attacks since March, he's had 5-6 minor ones. And he doesn't do steroids or growth hormones or smoke or even drink caffeine. And they told him this MULTIPLE times and put down in his chart that he was a non-compliant patient because of the argument about steroids.

    He went to a different ER for the last one, they figured out what was really going on and he's back to 85% in the past 3 weeks.
     
  12. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Did that ER doctor even look in her mouth? :rolleyes:
    I am sorry that happened!! that sucks!
    Hope your girls are feeling much much better!
     
  13. cjk2002

    cjk2002 Well-Known Member


    This infuriates me because the quote about him doing steroids is now part of his medical records. If he were to go into the ER a year from now with something completly unrelated, they could very easily pull them up and come to their own conclusions about what's "really" wrong with him.

    I fought very hard and lost about something that was on my ER records. They insisted I said something and I did not. DH was in the room with me the entire time and he & I swore up and down that it was never said. Problem was it took them months to look into it and by then the ER Dr. could not remember me at all. Everything was "to the best of my knowledge". In the end they added an amendment with my statement to their records.

    I would highly recommend your friend do the same.
     
  14. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I know. Hopefully the malpractice lawyer will have them remove that from/amend his records. Of course, when they did the drug testing on the 3rd visit to the first hospital, it came up clean, but that doesn't mean anything.

    He's doing so well now that he started passing out and having palpitations. He was overdosing on his heart medicines by following the prescription. (Of course, since the real diagnosis and starting on medicines, he's gotten stitches from being a dork, and he's been in a car accident where he had to be sent to the ER to look for internal bleeding from all the blood thinners.)
     
  15. jendisney8

    jendisney8 Member

    Thanks for all the great reply ladies! I appreciate you letting me vent and making me feel like I'm not crazy. I would have avoided the ER if I could have but it was a Sunday and everything else was closed. The whole point of bringing her to the ER was to get her treated and some relief ASAP from whatever it was that was bothering her. Unfortunately, that backfired on me as she got no relief until she was given the right diagnosis at her pedi! So basically the ER trip was a waste of time and money. I swear, never a dull moment when you're a mom! Thanks Again!!
     
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