Am I having fun yet?!

Just stating the obvious, but this is sooooooooooooooo hard!!!

My 2 think that sleep is a funny joke, and even when they do, i struggle to get them to sleep at the same time.
I'm lucky if i have a shower each day, I'm so tired and rundown, I've had 2 colds in as many weeks and I feel so bad for my older children as I know it will prob be many months before I can be a proper mother to them again.

People say to me that they wish they had twins or that it must be fun and cute to have twins. So I ask am I having fun yet? :crazy:

Okay, rant over! :blush:

 

:hug: I have 2 older kids and I felt like the world's worst mother for several months! But....as everyone who has "been there done that" will say...It will get BETTER!!! :hug: Hang in there, try to take one day at a time and don't look too far ahead!

As for sleeping, are you swaddling? White noise? Lullabies? Keeping the lights dim at nighttime feedings? Nice bright lights and noises during the day? Lots of naps (for the babies and for you too!)? All those will help with their night sleeping...sometimes!

 

Sigh, I have tried all of the above. For the last couple of days, I've gone back to placing tthem in their cot for sleeps, swaddled, music in background, dim room etc and nothing. They have hardly slept through the day and definately not at the same time! I'm sure I'm doing all the right things, it's not as though I've had no experience at raising children. Sometimes though, I think that makes you feel worse - you can't work out what your doing wrong!

 

The beginning is soooo darn hard! I remember clearly I thought it was never going to get better. My life was about constant feedings/changings/pumpings. But it did get better. I could see sings of change when the boys turned 8 weeks and by the time they were 4 months old, we had a really nice routine going on.

You never said, do you breastfeed or formula feed? I did both and the bfed baby wanted to eat every two hours, so he did not sleep more than two hours at a time, and sometimes he was up for hours and hours! My formula fed baby was cranky. All the time. Then I switched formula and put the bfed baby on the same. They both started to sleep a little better. I also swaddled them and many times I let them sleep in their swings.

At the beginning the most important thing for everyone to sleep. For babies and for you as well. Which I'm sure you already know. If they sleep better in the cot, leave the there. Whatever works.

 

Hang in there, Momma! :hug:
These early days are hard. One of the things that helped my DS to get to sleep in first few weeks was putting him in the bouncer to start off his night of sleep. After I did the first overnight feeding, I could put him back in the crib and he would sleep fine. For whatever reason, he could not start his night out in the crib.

 

It was about that time that I called my dad who was supposed to mail me a swing in a panic. They slept in swings/bouncies for me SOOO much better than cribs- I would alternate who got the swing or the 'good' swing. Then around 4 months we switched back to cribs, but I needed that cranky baby to swing and relax a while at 2 months!

Now they sleep 10 hours minimum a night. There is light (sleep) at the end of the tunnel.

 

I second Michelle's swing recommendation!! They saved our lives. You are in the thick of it now and I know it seems like there's no end in sight but everything will fall into place before you know it. Things start to get really fun at around 4 months and onwards. And don't worry about not showering - there were times in the first few months where I would not shower for days (didn't seem that long) and DH would be forced to remind me that personal hygiene is not optional (I totally disagree - when you're so tired you can't see straight and you have two babies glued to your body all day personal hygiene loses all meaning). So don't worry about it!! That being said, a shower feels awesome, as you might remember from those days when you actually had time for one. They feel even better now that your time is so precious. So when your partner comes home in the evening just shove the babies in their direction and make a mad dash for the shower. Then stay in there for at least half an hour. I hope your sleeping woes improve soon! :grouphug:

 

Swings, bouncies, wherever they will sleep at this stage so that you can sleep too. Hang in there, the first 6 months are SO HARD, but you can do it! The fun will begin soon. :hug:

 

I am breastfeeding, though i ask myself many, many times why.

It's so disheartening though when you think your doing all the 'right' things and nothing works.
When you hear of people that whinge when their babies have only 3hrs sleep - that to us would be a good sleep! Or when people say "they'll be in a routine soon" - hello? How do you get 2 babies with seemingly different sleep 'patterns' in a routine?

And how do I stop being jealous of those with only one baby. This jealousy alone makes me feel like a bad ungrateful mother. I know that I am doing my best but it doesn't stop me from muttering to myself about those mothers with only 1 baby and their 'problems'. :gah:

 

:hugs:

It's a **** load of work, no doubt about it.

We're in the thick of it as well, and I'm just starting to see a pattern emerging with their sleep, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I too have felt jealous (and guilty) of Mom with only one baby. Totally normal.

 

Do you have any help? If not, try to find some even if it is just for a few hours so you can take a nap. Sleep depreivation makes everything so much worse and at the point you are at, even a few hours will make a big difference. Then take a deep breath and plunge back in for a few more weeks until things start to get better and they WILL start to get better. It will probably take a little longer than it did with your older children to get on a schedule and feel like you have your head above water, but it will happen. I n a few more months, you will look back at this stage with awe and wonder that you survived as you enjoy 2 little bundles of fun. As for the guilt over the oldest kids and the jealousy of people with just 1, those feelings are totally normal and will fade with time. By this time next year, people with only 1 baby will be jealous that your twins have a built in playmate and your older kids will be able to enjoy their younger siblings much more and will be the special older siblings of twins.

 

I just had a twin mom of 15 year olds tell me yesterday that "its get better"! And yes, people that don't have twins say "how cute and fun" and every other twin mom you ever meet will tell you "it gets better".

You are getting closer to the end of the beginning hard months. For me, every month got a little better but three months was a big change and you are so close!

Do whatever you have to for the them to sleep. Mine slept in a crib for the first two weeks and then not again until three months! They slept in car seats, swings, bouncy chairs, whatever.

One thing I did for mine was to start trying to push back the night feedings. I would sooth and give a binky and if they went back to sleep for an hour, great. The time inbetween will get longer. Last month we were only feeding once around 4:00 in the morning. Now we don't feed until 5:30-6:00 when it's time to get up anyway.

And as far as being jealous of singletons moms... just wait until next year when their one baby needs constant attention and your two are off playing together!

 

Oh I can't tell you how many times this thought has kept me going!!

And to 2xjoy, hugs!! Man it is really tough when they won't sleep!!!!! Ours would NOT nap yesterday and they were total growly bears all day. Hmph.

 

Same! There has to be a payoff somewhere for all this hard work.

Its winter at the moment and although it doesn't snow it's usually too windy to put the babies in the pram in the afternoon when they might be more unsettled. I amgetting over another cold and so does baby B!

I am soooo over winter!