toddler bed help...

I read from a post back last fall that the Twin Nanny (Zoe) said she would sit between the beds to start to keep them in the beds then every week or so would move closer to the door and then to the hall etc. I did finally figure out that I could bring the bed closer together (they were on opposite walls to begin with) and that way I could at least sit in the middle and touch each child. But I would LOVE to make s way to secure the child in bed! can't I just sew a belt to their sleep sacks to loop around the bed slat??!!

anyway, any ideas on how to keep babies in bed? once they fall asleep they are asleep for the night, mostly.

 

Duct tape.

Our beds are against the wall so they wouldn't fall out in one direction. I never sat in the room with them, it would prolong their falling asleep and sleep is very important.

But then again, I never rocked them to sleep and they learned how to fall asleep without my interference from a very very early age. Which is awesome now, they know the bedroom is for sleeping, not playing.

I just tell them, "Okay, it's time to go to bed." They stop what they're doing and go crawl in their beds. I go and cover them with a blanket, give them a kiss, and go out the door. Just recently I've been having to tell them to get back in bed, stop playing, and go to sleep but that's because even at 8 p.m. the light is still shining through their window and black out curtains.

 

yeah, seriously ours get out of bed at every opportunity, I know its a novelty to them still... but really, I am dreaming of adding a harness to their PJs or sleep sacks and tying them to the side of the crib!!!! :rotflmbo:

anyway, I do feel like my presense prolongs the falling asleep thing too as, like you, we never have to rock or stay with them until they fall asleep. And we're still nursing so I think when I'm in there longer then they just want to nurse more, though thankfully that seems to have decreased.

I think its just time that will help.

 

I sit in their room with them until they fall asleep. It is just easier to spend some time in there listening to music and keeping it peaceful instead of letting them get up 5 times and come out to the family room. I have done the Supernanny technique where you sit in their room and dont talk or make eye contact and just basically sit like a lump on the floor and put them back in their beds every time they get out. Then move closer and closer to the door and eventually sit outside the door. That worked well. But we just couldnt get out of their hallway. So I would rather sit in their room for 20 minutes and let them fall asleep then keep putting them back in bed. ardon: It is actually one of my favorite times of day. :blush:

 

ahhhh well, if it were "just" 20 minutes I'd be in heaven! I just spent 50 min. in there for nap time. My ds is finally asleep, however dd is quiet but awake. hopefully she stays in bed and goes to sleep. I think its just consistency, and I guess I need to keep on staying in there until they fall alseep - hoping that the time shortens. I made them give up pacis a month ago, and am really debating on bringing them back... ever since we got rid of the paci the time to fall asleep is so much longer. and the past 2 days I've seen my ds suck his thumb... that was one of the reasons I loved pacis - to avoid a thumb sucker...

 

Just to clarify, this is what I did. Except I would talk to them as far as to say "Shhh. No talking" or "Lie down" if they started to chat or sat up in bed (I didn't let them get as far as getting out). You don't need to have the beds close enough to touch each child, I didn't touch them at all when they were falling asleep.

The reason it worked for us is because with no-one in the room they would talk, get out of bed and play around instead of going to sleep. With me sitting in the room they would lie still and quiet and so fall asleep in a normal amount of time (around 10 minutes, I don't think I was ever in there for much longer than 15). Previous to switching to beds I had never rocked them or even sat with them until they fell asleep, they were quite capable of falling asleep by themselves. For us the issue was the overriding temptation to get up and play-especially for my older girls who had been sleeping in seperate rooms whilst in cribs and had the added excitement of having a playmate! Honestly after the first couple of days I didn't even have to tell them not to talk/sit up, they had realised that it wasn't going to get them anywhere. I spent about a week in the room and another couple sitting just outside the closed door. They did try chatting when I first moved outside the door but, because I could hear them, I could put my head round the door straight away to tell them to be quiet so they gave up on that pretty quickly as well.
Consistency is a huge thing though. I'm pretty sure that after those first few weeks my lot just assumed I was always right outside the door ready to stop their fun before it started! I don't think it would have had the same effect if I had sat with them some days but not others or sometimes let them talk quietly.

If you being in the room is a big distraction for them then you need a different tactic. Maybe it would work better if you waited just outside the door. That way you could listen for them getting out of bed and put them right back in but they wouldn't be able to see you while they fell asleep.

Good luck and I'm sorry if my other post was confusing. :blush:

 

no, your other post wasn't confusing... I am just realizing my children are waaaay more active and when in the cribs I would let them do their own winddown, and they'd always fall asleep quite quickly... especially when they had pacis 2 months ago.

anyway things are getting better, but if I were to leave the room at first, they would be out of their beds before I even got to the door... UGH! We are also realizing the our twins, though very sweet and nice... don't really listen to us. So we're working on that. In the mornings they get out of bed and run around the room, so I have been bringing them back to their beds and requesting that they ask "Momma may I get out of bed"... this morning before I even asked for them to ask to get out of bed, my dd got back in bed and she said "momma"... so I think that she remembered that I'd asked them to say "Momma may I..."

I also think its better when my dh does bedtime... he said last night went well, so one day we'll get this figured out. thanks for the reinforcement of good tips ladies!

 

If they get out of bed and play at bedtime they get a warning and then a time out. I know it might not be a popular way to handle this, and it might not be a good idea if you don't already use time out, but thats how we handled playing around and getting out of bed. It only took a couple time outs for them to realize that bed is for sleeping and its a priviledge to sleep in a big girl bed.

 

hmmm... this may work with our lot! who knows! they are just rambunctious! I heard my dh dealing with them today at nap time while I tried to nap... they are just busy. He did better at keeping them in bed, but I bet time outs would help. I also think we haven't been insisting they are quiet either... so that may be good to "shush" them too...

Part of it I know they are tired, but surely it can't take them so long to go to sleep... of course right now I should wake them up so they'll go to sleep tonight, but I'm hoping to go cook dinner... I'm sure we are doing many things in the wrong order!

 

Time outs may be worth a try. I've also heard of people taking away a stuffed toy or something if they mess around, of course for that to work they have to have one that they care about getting to have.

It sounds like they're generally pretty hyped up at bedtime (possibly because they need more time to get used to soothing themselves without their pacis), I wonder if you could fit some extra calming down time into your bedtime routine? I'd try and start them winding down an hour before you actually put them in bed; play quieter sit-down activites/games, don't have the TV or fast music on, try not to be rushing around yourself getting things done. Then for the last 20-30 minutes before bed make it really chilled out; keep it as quiet as possible, have them in a low-lighted room-reading stories is a great thing to do because it gets them sitting down and quiet. At that age all of mine still had a bedtime drink of milk, with a cuddle, and that helped to relax them. You could also get a bedtime CD (or just some calm classical music) to play quietly during that time.
Again consistency really is key. If you stick to a firm routine then the whole thing becomes a 'sleep cue' for them, after a while they will know as soon as you start it that it's almost bedtime, and that in itself will help them adjust and calm down.

If you think about it for basically their whole lives having a paci+being put in a crib=time to go to sleep. Now both those things are gone they need new things that say to them it's time to sleep. If you can have a couple of things that they get every bedtime (eg same music tracks, special teddy/blanket) they will start to associate those things with sleeping. Put that together with a consistent routine that lets them know it's bedtime and you'll be winning the battle in no time!

 

great points!! I did have a much better time tonight. The last few nights I've had a Signing Time cd in the room that plays for the last bit, and it seems to calm them down, yet I'm realizing they are excited about some of the faster paced songs. so I think I'll find a different night/nap cd to play that is more soothing.

Before bedtime is a nice long bath, then we just go straight to the routine of PJs, more nursing/snuggling time with the cd going and then into bed. I need to also add in more books.

thanks again for taking the time to respond!

oh, and I did do a couple of time outs tonight my son did not like me holding him in a laying position for the almost one minute and was screaming... but he didn't keep on talking afterwards, so hopefully a few times of making them do something will help. I also love the idea of taking away something that they have in bed. My dd will throw things out and say "bye bye"... so tonight when she did that I just took the lovey out to the hallway and left it. she ended up calming down w/o it - though that's good and bad. I thought that was her favorite lovey... now maybe she doesn't have one... if its not one thing its another!

 

It sounds like you are making good progress :good: I hope it continues!