ear piercing

Okay so let me just preface this post by saying that my personal beliefs about piercing ears are to wait until the kiddo at least understands that it's going to hurt like the dickens and still wants it anyways.

We had my MIL and DH's cousin over the other evening, helping out with our older DS so DH and I could bathe the twins uninterrupted. She made a comment about how Ella needed earrings to be beautiful and so people could tell she's a girl. Ella hardly has any hair. I laughed at first because I thought she was kidding, they are only 3 weeks old! But she kept going on and on about it until I realized she was serious!

So now, I'm curious. What are your thoughts on ear piercing and when to do it, if at all?

 

Eh, Alice's ears aren't pierced, not that it would bother me if they were. I think about it occasionally, (I have a ton of ear piercings), but she's so stubborn that I know she won't let me clean them, so we will wait until she wants them done.

My best friend's daughter got hers done when she was a year.

 

DD it will get it done when she asks for them, is no longer putting small things in her mouth and is mature enough to either clean them herself or cooperate while I clean them.

 

We'll wait until our girls are old enough to make the decision for themselves, and help take on the responsibility of cleaning them. They are cute as heck on babies, but we can't see putting a hole in our dd's head without her permission

 

We got the girls' pierced at their 9 month well baby visit. Their pedi pierced them with medical plastic earrings. They got the pink and green daisies. The good thing about piercing with medical plastic is there is no cleaning involved. You just leave them in for at least 6 - 8 weeks. I left the girls' in for a lot longer than 6 to 8 weeks though, there was no reason to change them.

It's really not been a hassle for me at all. They don't pull at their earrings or seem to notice them at all and never have. They look super cute too, IMO.

 

First, I can't help but comment that I think that is a disgusting comment and would never let such a shallow person sway my beliefs.

I think that having your ears pierced is a responsibility. Keeping your ears clean etc. We let our girls have their ears pierced when:
1.THEY decide they want them pierced
2. we feel they are 100% capable of cleaning their ears daily and understand that responsibility.

My oldest dd got her ears pierced shortly after she turned 10 y/o. She waivered on the issue for about 2 years before then. It was totally her decision.

 

First please don't hate on me any ear piercin mommas, just giving an my own personal opinion! Personally,I think its cruel. It could bother them(itch) or rub wrong on their skin. They may not want you cleaning it either-and what twin mom needs one more thing to do?! LoL! I couldn't stand ever sleeping with earrings in and I don't think a newborn would like it. That said, even if none of those things were true, I firmly believe it needs to be my daughters decision when she is older as her appearance is part pf her identity. I don't want her to think mommy wanted earings to make her prettier or that she needs them to be prettier. I would love to do it for extra "girliness" but it is not a decision that I should make. It should be hers if and when she wants them. Tell your SIL to shove it.

 

[quote namecat mommy' date='20 May 2010 - 12:56 PM' timestamp='1274389008' post='1638028']
DD it will get it done when she asks for them, is no longer putting small things in her mouth and is mature enough to either clean them herself or cooperate while I clean them.
[/quote]


I agree with this poster. As a child I was allowed when I was 9yrs to finally get them done. And since then had a few more done. Didn't hurt me to wait. Plus, having twin girls, I don't need more work to do --like cleaning piercings

 

This is how I feel and, for my older two girls, that ended up being around 5 or 6. That is when they started asking for them & I was able to explain the process and they could actually tell me if the earrings started bothering them or hurt them in anyway.

 

I would wait. She doesn't need earrings to be beautiful ! I have a nickel allergy so my dd will have to think good and hard before she gets them. I had them for 20 years. I finally just gave up. Infections were the worst!

 

Joy had hers done at 3 weeks. I don't regret it for a minute. I certainly didn't do it because I thought it would make her "more beautiful" which is a horrible comment or view. I did it for a variety of reasons, one actually medical. She didn't even flinch or complain once. She has never had an infection. Never had a problem. Of course, I don't think it is cruel, but to each their own.

 

i was going to comment that i think parents should wait until the child is old enough to make her own decision. but then i thought about the fact that we had our boys circumcised and i wondered if that was something of a contradiction. just goes to show you that people's opinions aren't always consistent or rational.

whatever your decision, i hope you do what feels right for you and you don't let yourself be swayed the opinion of others.

 

Well, We did our girls ears when they were 4 mos old. That is the youngest age the piercing place would do it. The girls didn't hardly cry at all and they have never even given their earrings a second thought. They are use to them and they have never bothered them. Cleaning them was super easy, I would just put some of that ear stuff on them when I changed their diaper and gave them a couple of twist. We didn't have any problems. We were happy that we did it especially with another little girl there at the same time having a fit thinking about how much it was going to hurt. One last thing, they have earrings and I dress them in pink a lot and everyone still says, "what cute boys you have" HA - so it doesn't really matter for that reason. Just wanted to share my thoughts but as Sara said, don't let anyone sway your thoughts, do what you think it right!!

 

I thought it would be best to get my DD's ears pierced early on. So we did it when she was 3 months old. She did not cry at all. It never got infected and she never pulled on them.
She is now 6 years old and very happy that she can wear earrings. Love will make a baby beautiful, not the earrings.
Like everything else, this is also a personal choice, a personal preference.

 

I plan to pierce my daughter's ears on her first birthday. I have a lot of reasons. Mainly I think it will be cute, but also I want to be the one to take care of them for her, and I don't want her to be afraid when she wants to have it done. I remember wanting it done, but being afraid. I also remember the holes getting infected a lot when I was a child supposedly old enough to be responsible BUT DH is against it, and so is my entire family, so we'll see.

 

Thank you EVERYONE for your responses!

I agree with the PPs that said that it was an awful thing to say that the earrings would make her beautiful. I could not believe she said that. She's not the most polite woman, and as a result I don't deal with her when I don't have to.

 

I got ODD's pierced when she was 9 weeks old, and the babies' when they were 7 months old. I would have done theirs sooner but they were entirely too small. I love pierced ears on babies (and ears that aren't pierced, too :lol: ). I do, however, agree with the anti-piercers' opinion. I admit that the decision to pierce their ears was a selfish one.

 

I'll be honest-before having a girl-I had no opinion whatsoever. It never crossed my mind. My ears were pierced at the age of 10-and my mother had nothing to do with it. She wanted no part of it, so my godmother took my sister and I.

Well, I married into an Italian family.

'Nough said. :laughing:

Seriously-I think pierced ears are cute on babies. I do. But, after just giving birth to my daughter, and my father in law turns to me and says, "When are you going to pierce her ears, so she's more like a woman?" Well-that sealed the deal for me. I'm not. Not until SHE tells me she wants them. Heck-up until that point, I may have had them done at 6 months, who knows?!?! But, I want it to be an experience for her and I. We go out to lunch, etc. I don't want to do it because *I* want them done-I want *her* to choose. And let me tell you...I've heard it all from my inlaws-in fact, my fil said the same thing last week to me at lunch. And I've had to listen to my sil say how painful it is(I'm not scarred by the experience), and to do it asap so she won't remember(she worked for Claire's). Or my mother in law saying, "Meaghan, do you know what Annabella is missing?" Nope-nothing. She is perfectly beautiful head to toe, thank you very much. Not to mention, I have twin toddlers and an infant, I barely have time to make a sandwich for myself, or take a shower, let alone clean an infant's ears three times a day...

And MIL was "talking" to the baby when she was younger, as if she could talk, and I couldn't hear: "Annabella, surely you can't go to Italy without your ears pierced! And surely you can't come home from Italy without your ears pierced!" We are going in April... And she asked me when I was getting them done because the great grandmother wanted to get her some for her christening. Get them. I will hold onto them until she gets them pierced.

It's a sore subject with me. :laughing:

 

I don't have strong feelings either way. As a child I was made to wait until my 4th birthday and it was a special trip that I still remember. With my girls they were all done around 15 months, I had wanted to do it earlier but just never got around to it. We had no issues with the cleaning or keeping their hands off them. My girls are now 10 and 8 and none of them wear earrings regularly. My oldest asked for hers to be taken out at 3 has worn them very few times since then. The twins pretty much stopped wearing them except for special occasions around age 5. For them it is because they have the same metal sensitivity to earrings that I do so most make their ears itch. I don't really regret my decision to pierce their ears, but knowing what I know now I would have waited until they asked.

 

I don't have strong feelings about ear piercing as well.
Ear piercings do not make a little girl beautiful, I think that was out of line for your IL to say.
If I had my way DD's ears would have probably been pierced before she turned 1, however, my DH totally balked about it. Even now when you ask him how old does think he would allow DD to have it done, his reply is 96. So, I will wait until she asks for it because maybe then he might consider it. So ear piercing is really up to the parents (and eventually depending on how long one waits) child's comfort level with it.

 

Like everyone else, I don't think ear piercing will make your baby any more beautiful than she already is. Shame on the one that even suggested such a thing. That being said, we got our now 11 yr old's ears pierced at 2 mos, with minimal crying, more like a cry of shock at the sound, at that was that. The cleaning was more than a swab at the ear and as for allowing her the choice, she now chooses whether or not she wants to have them in.

 

Had to jump in on this one...I'm against it. Girls will have plenty of time to sport anything they like from their ears as a grown woman. If a girl baby doesn't have any hair, sweet bows and headbands are much more comfortable and practical. To me, ear piercing is a "right of passage" that will go along with my daughter shaving her legs and getting her period. That's just my opinion though.

 

I wanted the girls to wait for awhile, but once they got into school they were one of the few kids without them pierced. I finally caved after they asked me a million times. Zoe freaked out when we were getting it done and had to go back a few weeks later for hers when she was ready. Neither cried and they took care of them themselves, with me watching of course. They love them. We have bought them 2 really nice pairs of earrings.

They are 7 so I did wait until they were ready.

 

This made me laugh because it's kind of true. We got the boys circumsized so they'd be like daddy...that's the only reason. I haven't had baby girl's ears pierced and won't until she wants them done. Whether that's next year, several years, or never, it's her call to make. Some people don't want pierced ears...but I do think pierced ears on babies are super cute!

 

I didn't read the other's feedback, but we had both our daughter's ears pierced when they were about 6 months. Cried for second, then immediately gave a bottle and the tears stopped.

 

exactly! I don't care about doing circs or piercings, personally.

 

In a previous life I was the GM of Claires and pierced more ears then I care to admit :laughing:
When I had a little girl I swore I would have her ears pierced but my dd is 27 months and still no earrings. Not because I'm against it but because I just never got around to taking her in. To me it's very much a personal choice and I really could care less if others have their babies ears pierced. I do think it's cute though!

 

I personally don't like ear piercing on babies. I don't believe in permanently altering my children's bodies without their permission. And for some people it is permanent. I had my ears pierced when I was 3 years old and they have never closed. I don't wear earrings now and it looks like I just forgot to wear them. I've got two noticeable holes in my ears.

I don't believe that it only hurts for a second either. I have vivid memories of intense pain associated with it. Even afterwards they throbbed and were sore.

For the record, I don't believe in circumcision either. I think they are both akin to tattooing babies because I think it's pretty. It's not taking into account their wishes or the wishes of their future selves. I will support my children if they decide to do any of these things when they are old enough to make an informed decision for themselves, but not before.

 

I see how people can compare circumsision and ear piercing: Both are cosmetic. I got my ears pierced at 10 and then let them close because I didn't like taking care of them. I got them again at 14 and still hardly wear earrings. It's definitely a personal decision. I don't judge anyone for piercing their daughter's ears, but I have no intention of doing it. I will, however, circumsize my son if we ever get to that point.

Just a little note: My sister in law has pierced two of her three daugher's noses. Today they are 4 and 7. They have a younger daughter who is 9 months and at 6 months she tried to take her in to get her nose pierced and the people turned her away. Thank goodness! Reason number 17 why I strongly dislike this woman! Seeing a beautiful child with her nose pierced is truly appauling to me. I guess that may go against everything I said above, but I feel like its completely different

 

I agree with what you are saying here.

I also think that if I were to ever have a daughter and she wanted to get her ears pierced then that's fine. I would let her. I remember having mine ears pierced as a child, and it was a big deal for me. I loved wearing earrings and I still do (although I can't wear them right now because the boys will pull them out if I do :laughing: ).

But I would never make that decision for her. To me, deciding to pierce her ears for her--- before she has any say so in the matter at all---is a suggestion that she has to/or needs to do things to alter her body to make it more beautiful. I want my daughter (should I ever have one) to feel free to wear makeup daily or to never wear it; to wear feminine clothes or to dress more like a boy...In short, I feel there are so many things in our society that already tell young women what they have to do to be considered pretty. And almost never is that message to just be themselves as they are. Sure, we as parents may say to our daughters, nieces, etc that just being yourself is pretty. But all the child has to do is look around and see countless examples of how women continually alter their bodies so that they will be considered "pretty" or more "feminine" by the larger society.

Like I say, I like earrings. I like makeup just fine. Not big on shaving my legs, but I do it from time to time. :laughing: So, I'm not against these kinds of things.

But I want that to be a decision my daughter makes for herself because I want her to decide what is pretty for her. I don't want to suggest to her in any way that the body she was born with is any less than perfect.


As for the circumcision discussion, I may get flamed for this, but I feel strongly about it and would not feel right if I did not say something. I do totally agree that ear piercing and circumcision are both cosmetic. However, one is a small hole in the ear on an area of the body that, while able to feel pain, is not one of the most sensitive areas we have. The other is surgically removing part of the most sensitive part of the male body. Now, I am not trying to say people should not circumcise if it's something they want to do. If that's a decision people make, it's theirs to make and my point here is not try and convince people not to circumcise.

I am just saying that it's not on the same level of permanent body-alteration and pain as ear piercing.

 

OMG I thought I read this wrong. I had to re-read it several times. That's much more painful IMO than an ear piercing! I've had both (the nose piercing was back in my teenage years) and I distinctly remember the nose piercing hurting like a...well, ya know. I'm still a little in shock over that. wow.

 

Way in shock over the nose piercings-how crazy to do that to a child?
As for circumcision, you've got me thinking. I did it because I thought it was standard for cleanliness and health. Never thought it was for cosmetic as their is nothing pretty about a penis-circumsized or not! LoL. People do this for cosmetic reasons? Wow. I kept going back and forth with my decision but then heard about a lot of problems with uncircunsized pee-pee's. I hated having my sons body altered but ultimately hubby wanted it done since he had his that way. After reading some of the posts, I hope I did the right thing.

 

Somehow this is jumping from an ear piercing thread to a circumcision thread LOL so I figured I'd add my two sense. With older DS we did not have him circumcised. I wanted to so bad but our insurance wouldn't cover it because it was considered "elective" and "cosmetic" and the hospital he was born at required a $400 charge up front, cash, no exceptions. We were not told about it until I was delivering and had no time to save up for that extra, unexpected cost. As a result we just didn't have him circumcised. By the time he was 18 months old, DH decided it was super important to HIM (not to our son btw) for DS to be circumcised. We went back and forth on it for a long time, we even had a few knock down drag outs over it. I just couldn't see doing it to him once he's old enough to remember the pain! But DH eventually won. And let me say.....I regret it. It was painful for him, he cried for weeks. And now, even at 3 years old, he still won't let anyone touch his penis without a fight. Not even for bathtime or diaper changed (no he's not potty trained yet...but that's a different story for a different day). I'm sad for him and really wish I hadn't let DH bully me into that decision. I'm not against circumcision per se....if you feel strongly for it, do it. I just can't believe we did it at an age where he would have an issue with it and remember it. It broke my heart. He had about 20 stitches around his penis.

Anyways....I just wanted to add my two sense.

 

While there is some evidence that circumcision decreases HIV transmission in Africa, the reason most people here want it done (aside from religious beliefs) is so the boy will look like his dad - hence the cosmetic issue. My DH wanted our boys done so we did. Some doctors feel the benefits are not worth the risks, though.

 

Wow what a terrible experience for you (and your boy!). I'm so sorry! There was no way you could have known it would be that bad though - it's not your fault.