At the end of my rope with teeth brushing, how does everyone else do it?

We brought the girls to the dentist for the first time a couple of weeks ago. We learned a lot, but now we are having major problems with Amelia. Lily cooperates great and lets DH and I brush. We have to take a couple of breaks b/c she doesn't like when we do the back, but for the most part it's fine.

Amelia acts like we are torturing her. I have never seen her get so upset. She cries, she creams, she turns bright red and starts shaking. It takes both DH and I to brush her teeth. One to hold her down and the other to do the brushing. I have tried bribing her, we've tried forcing her, nothing works. Tonight I even gave Lily ice cream for letting me brush her teeth in an attempt to get Amelia to cooperate, but even that isn't working.

What else can I do? What do you do? The dentist said they had a lot of plaque build up and it was important for us to brush, and said they can't brush themselves until they are in the 3rd grade. Now I'm having major anxiety that I'm going to have one child with good teeth and one with cavities by the time she is 3. Should I call the dentist back? I don't know what he could possibly do but maybe it is worth a shot.

ETA - he also gave us floss and told us to floss their teeth, and he wasn't kidding. Does anyone in reality floss their 2.5 year old's teeth?

 

Here are some ideas that worked for us...letting them pick out their own special toothbrush and toothpaste, letting them pick out the spin brushes and letting them "brush" first and then we followed up, singing while we brush (they get to pick the song). And yes, ours do floss (better than we do actually) but we use the little plastic flossers that are one time uses. Some of them come in cool colors or animal shapes. It's much easier for them to hold these and go between their teeth than it is to use floss in their small mouthes. I hope it gets better for you and fingers crossed it's just a short lived phase.

 

DH and I let the kids "brush" our teeth first, then they "brush" theirs and by the time they are done, they are more willing to let us go over their teeth and do a proper brushing. I have not started flossing yet though. When DS was giving me a hard time about brushing his teeth, I let him come in the bathroom with me in the morning and have him watch and help me brush my teeth. Over time he did get better about it. Another thing we did, is some of the books the kids have the characters brush their teeth and we'll make a big deal about Olivia brushing her teeth when she wakes up in the morning.
Good luck! I hope she starts brushing soon with no problems!

 

We don't floss the kids teeth (even my 4yo, and I know we need to!), though I should get some of those little ones they can do themselves. We're also still only using the training toothpaste for the twins b/c I don't trust them to spit the fluoride stuff. But here's my thought- cavities have a lot to do with the teeth that our kids are born with. Juliana was on fluoride toothpaste by the time she turned 2, loved brushing her teeth and we were always very good about doing it, but she still needed 5 fillings this past year. I asked the dentist what I can do to prevent this from happening again and he told me it is pretty much like asking, "How can I make my child taller?" For whatever reason, the kid is susceptible to cavities. I think getting a fun electric toothbrush is a good idea, and what Nancy said about having her "brush" your teeth, but I also know kids whose teeth were brushed way less than my kids' and they had no cavities at the same age. I think there's a lot of luck and heredity involved in the cavity thing. Good luck!

 

Have you tried different toothbrushes and toothpastes? Maybe a baby toothbrush, something very small and soft. And I am very, very picky about toothpaste flavors, so if I were a toddler I know I'd flip out at some of that stuff entering my mouth! Or do you think it might just be not liking to have her mouth touched? (Would she flip out if you were just checking a tooth with a finger or something?)

The only other thing I can say is patience. For a long time, Ivy hated brushing with toothpaste. Not as bad as Amelia, but pretty bad. Then she just snapped out of it. I have no idea why.

Oh, btw, I haven't tried flossing yet.

 

I brush their teeth and then let them hold the toothbrush and "brush" themselves afterwards for a minute. Maybe if you let her brush a bit herself at first it may help. And as others were saying...the bright little flossers that have handles on them may be helpful too!

 

one of mine is exactly like yours. and nothing works--toothbrushes, watching us brush, electric toothbrush, etc. it's pure torture. however, we do get through it by tickling him. dh holds him and tickles him while i brush. he still acts like it's horrendous, but at least he laughs (and opens his mouth) while we do it. it's been a whole year like this and he still hates it--but at least it gets done.

best of luck! it totally sucks, i understand!

jl

 

I have to floss my kids' teeth because they are so close together that food is always stuck. I can't get the ones with little handles to work for me. I just use regular floss.

They mostly hate tooth brushing, but in my mind it is like a carseat. It just isn't a choice. I threaten to sit on them. :laughing: They can cooperate or I can sit on them while I do it. One likes it and will just lie down on the floor and wait for me to sit on her and laugh while I do it. The other would be horrifed if I actually did that. I still threaten to sit on my 9 and 7 year olds when they look like they've been slacking in the toothbrushing department.

 

We have 4 toothbrushes. The little toddler ones, and then the dentist gave us bigger toothbrushes and said we should use those. He told us not to use any toothpaste. She'll pick out a toothbrush, but then when I go near her she freaks.

With Amelia it's definitely not wanting her mouth touched. She won't let me near her mouth with my finger either. She wasn't that bad at the actual dentist and she wasn't that bad the first time we brushed them at home. The first time we made a big deal about it and let them each get a little toy after for encouragement. But that's it, ever since she freaks out. She'll brush them herself, but won't let anyone else near them. I felt so bad b/c last night she kept brushing them herself b/c she wanted ice cream, but the only way I told her she was getting a treat was if she let me brush them, and she just couldn't do it. She kept saying she was willing but when I'd go get the brush she closed her mouth.

That's the attitude we try to have, but she gets so upset that it causes so much anxiety with my husband and I, and then we wind up turning on each other. When Amelia starts up then Lily starts too, even though she's not getting her teeth brushed and then DH and I get so stressed out.

I guess I'll just keep trying every night, but short of giving her some kind of sedative I don't know how to get her to let me in there.

 

Aimee-this is actually an issue that hasnt caused me too much stress-I dont floss (probably should but I already know how that's going to go), I let them brush for a bit and then I get to do it-it's hard for me to really get a good scrub but a little is something.
This is probably irresponsible but these are their baby teeth, now that Sophie is older and getting close to losing the baby teeth and getting permanant ones I have been focusing on good habits and she is old enough to follow directions and also able to stand there and let me make sure the teeth are clean.
I took the same approach I do with R&R with Sophie and she has been to the dentist a few times and all looks fine-probably far from perfect but fine.

I guess what I am trying to say is dont let this cause so much anxiety and stress for you and dh, and Amelia too.
Give the whole issue a rest for a few days and try again, but dont make a big deal of it-you have time to let her get over her anxiety of it.

 

I have to agree. . .give it a few days and try again. A&R go through phases where they'll willingly let us brush their teeth after they're done, but for the most part I'm lucky to get 2-3 brushes in before they run off screaming. And bring back the toothpaste! That's what makes it fun for A&R.

 

Thanks for the encouragement. I just don't want her to wind up with cavities. I've never had a cavity in my life. I guess I'll keep letting her brush herself for now and asking if I can do it but I'll try to stop stressing about it.

She's so stubborn, I also don't want her to think that if she throws a fit she'll get out of it. But it seems like she's genuinely scared, not trying to "get out of something" if that makes sense.

Maybe I can try to just brush the front at first, anything that she lets me do, and give her a Dora sticker for a reward if she lets me near her mouth.

 

Total side note - when DH & his brother were kids in the 60's in Greece, parents gave their babies tranquilizers (benzos of all things!) the way we give Tylenol. Maybe you need a time warp??? :crazy:

 

In this case, I think I'd ignore the advice of the dentist and see if some yummy tasting toothpaste would convince her to brush. It might not work, but what if it does?