how do you handle bossiness?

Ivy & Andrew have hit a wonderful developmental milestone: bossing each other around. <_< Actually, Ivy does it more than Andrew, because she is the "little mommy." (She tries to feed him and put his shoes on him and has said that she's going to be his mommy when he grows up. :lol: ) So she tells him to do stuff the way I tell them to do stuff. The other thing they both do (which is kind of hilarious when you step back from it) is telling each other, "Don't do that, because it makes me mad!" (Usually about totally trivial things, like one singing a song the other doesn't want to hear.)

So how do you handle this? I haven't figured out what to do.

 

When they are bossing each other, we tell the girls to "mind their own beeswax." I've actually heard them say it to each other when one is getting too bossy.

 

Hi- I am not sure, I will be curious to see responses as well. We have this happening a lot too. So far I have mainly been ignoring it, unless the one who is getting "bossed" seems to be getting upset, then I say something lame like "please play nicely." It really hasn't been a huge issue between them so I am trying to let them deal with it themselves. It's mainly Sophia bossing Naomi around, and I have heard Naomi say "no" to her when she doesn't want to do whatever it is, so I all really trying not to intervene unless it escalates. Its hard with twins- I don't want Sophia to be bossy but I also want Naomi to learn to stand up for herself.

 

For me it depends on the type of bossing. If one's telling the other to do something that they're supposed to do (eg put their cup back on the table) then I would just let them be bossy. I figure in those cases the one being bossed should be doing whatever it is and if their twin says it then I don't have to! :lol: I like to think of that less as bossing and more as a helpful reminder of the correct behaviour. :acute:
If it's more like one ordering the other one around over what toy to play with/what to say/what picture to draw then I will intervene by saying something like "Name doesn't need you to tell her/him what to do. S/he can decide for her/himself." or "It's up to name how he/she does activity, not you." As they got older I also started working with them on how you can ask or suggest something instead of bossing or ordering people around and they will be more likely to agree and join in with you.

 

Mine are already doing this or more my DD is doing it to my DS. She is a little mommy. I tell her that I am the mommy and will tell DS what to do.

 

Oooh yes, this is Lauren!! It's so funny how many Ivy stories you have that sound just like Lauren. :lol:

Most times I say "thank you, but one mommy is enough and I will tell her what to do right now". It's usually met with "BUT, she is not listening to you". :laughing: She is definitely the boss, and likes to be, so I let her have the freedom of doing it whenever possible. This way she still feels like she has some control but in other situations where I need to be in control she does pretty much back down.

About the singing...just yesterday Emma was singing to a song in the car and was an absolute riot. Lauren told her stop. I asked why. "Because I'm busy looking out the window". Ooooookay, good reason.

 

:rofl: Sounds like the conversations we have in my car. BTW- I :wub: your new avi Michelle!

 

Alice is constantly telling Royce "Time Out!" and I have to tell her that only the adults can give timeouts.

 

oh, this one's good. We've had to stop ours from swatting each other on the butt trying to hand out punishment! As well as stop them from telling each other "go sit on your bed, you're in Time Out".

And my poor youngest baby.. he gets the brunt of the bossing from his sisters. They are CONSTANTLY trying to 'tell' him what he needs to do or where he needs to go.


We just tell them, "Let mommy and daddy do the bossing, you aren't even old enough to boss yourself around yet"