What do you do when they both get the giggles?

I don't know about your twins, but my guys TOTALLY egg each other on. It all started outside this afternoon when they got all riled up & into what I call "the giggles". EVERYTHING was funny...being bad, saying names (ie Cookie Head), saying things (ie spoons!), anything. They got to the point where they wouldn't listen to me & were throwing sand, throwing toys, etc...so I made them go inside. It just escalated. Everything continued to be funny & they just got naughtier. Even though I'd like to hope they knew they were being naughty, having the other one laugh at them was all they needed to continue their bad behavior. They got time outs. They got their dinner taken away. They got their milk taken away. They got separated & continued to holler and laugh hysterically through the walls! OUT OF CONTROL! I tried to remain emotionless, but they really got to me. It didn't matter anyway...they weren't needing my reaction to feed their giggles, they just needed each other.

Finally, Aiden got put in his room for like a 15 min time out. He didn't care. He was in there singing, dancing, giggling, jumping on his bed, whatever. And Conner was put on the couch, but was still giggling at Aiden whenever he could hear him.

It took about 2 hours, but they're finally calm. Probably ONLY because Conner fell & split his lip, so I had to tend to his bloody mess, which kinda sobered everyone up.

I called my husband (who's been out of town for 3 days) & told him the second he walks in, I'm walking out. I'm on the verge of tears. I feel like a failure.

And I just don't know what to do.

When they gang up on you & totally don't care but are totally feeding off each other, what do you do?

 

Really? NO ONE else's kids gang up on them like mine do? Greaaaaaaat....

 

We've gone through this a little here, but not for as long of an extent as you described. It's usually during a meal, where they refuse to eat anything because it's just a circus and all they want to do is one-up the other one and make each other laugh. Or when I'm trying to get them ready for bed and everything I say goes out the window because they are too busy entertaining each other. By that point (bed time) I'm usually at the end of my rope and my patience totally goes out the window because anything I try to get things under control doesn't work. I usually end up doing a lot of yelling, muttering under my breath, and then I stomp away to get my husband out of his office (where he's stuck most of the time doing grad school work).

Sorry I don't have any advice for you! My biggest problem right now are the fits my son throws every two seconds when I'm not playing with him. (He stood by me screaming the whole time I typed this.) I went to the library this week and took out a big pile of books on disciplining and setting limits. Right now I'm in the middle of a book written by the Supernanny. I'm just starting the discipline chapter, so I'm hoping it will address all these issues!

 

It's usually bedtime here as well when it gets out of control. Threats work great here. I just tell them no bedtime story if they can't calm down. Sorry I am not more help.

 

I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. Unfortunately I don’t have a solution as our boys are not that old yet, but to me it sounds like you’re doing everything right. My boys totally do this and they’re 17 months. They’re not old enough for all of the exact things mentioned, but when I read your post I see ours a year or two later. Right now our instigator will do something bad to ‘test’ me… he’ll do it while watching with a big grin on his face. He’ll laugh. His brother will sometimes join in. Once they both start giggling it’s all over. They’ll both start doing the ‘bad’ thing laughing hysterically, until one or both get a time out. For us the age time outs work… for a little bit.



In our household their father is stricter than I am and notices things more consistently and doesn’t’ fuss over them like I do, so it’s interesting to see that they test ME constantly but usually listen to their father when he tells them no. I try to be consistent but I think some things their dad doesn’t allow I do allow, so maybe they see that as being easier to get away with things with me? At least it’s not must me. Ours test whoever they meet who is new or visiting constantly. I think they notice that so-and-so allows them to do X so what ELSE can they do when dad’s not around? Just curious, is it that way in your household?



When it comes down to them doing this in our household, I THINK its probably that they know dad means business but they think I don’t mean business, so they test to see what they can get away with. (I’m trying to fix that but so far not so well). It happens more when their dad isn’t home or out of the room. Fortunately I’ve never had to deal with their dad being gone for days.

 

My girls definitely do this, and feed off of each other but when I tell them it's time to calm down they usually listen to me.

Honestly, it doesn't really bother me. They are kid's being kid's and having a good time. As long as no one is getting hurt, I don't see any harm in it whatsoever. I do my best to ignore it. Do you think your expectations of how a 2 year old should behave is a little high?

I am sure that your kids are also feeding off of your reaction to their behavior. Have you tried re-directing rather than disciplining? Maybe find an alternate activity for them to do? Are they getting sugar from juice or something else that is getting them all spun up? Have you tried praising them when they are behaving appropriately?

 

generally I laugh right along with them...like Kyrstyn said if they're not hurting anyone or each other whats a few words and some belly laughs....as far as dinner/milk is concerned if they're laughing AND eating I don't see the harm....

 

By all means, I love it when they're silly & having fun. I usually end up laughing at them, if not along with them (they really do come up with some clever 'names'...). It's when they get SO wild & out of control that they misbehave...that's when I have a problem with it. They do things they KNOW they aren't supposed to, but they just don't care when they're in that 'state'. For example, throwing sand (this is a rule they've had forever...both at home & school, so it's NOT new), hitting, spitting, throwing toys, etc. If they're being silly with no rule breaking or people getting hurt, I'm fine with it. I am NOT ok with them bending rules *just* because they're being silly. And lately, they get themselves SO worked up that I just cannot get them to calm down. Telling them to 'settle down' or 'relax' no longer works when they get too out of control. Then it's chaos. Time outs, threats, taking away privileges, etc...nothing works when they get like that. They don't care, they just want to giggle & freak out with their brother!

As for what's riling them up, I'm not sure. It's usually worse after naptime or when they first wake in the morning. I don't want to take away their nap because then they're naughty from being overtired! They never drink juice & don't get candy or anything (I'm fairly strict w/sugar & junk food). I think they're just boys & full of energy. And what's better than having a brother there to be silly with you??? Ugh.

 

Mine do this to some extent, not yet at the extent of your boys but I could totally see it happening in our house in the near future. One of the things that does work around here when they "gang" up on me or DH is distraction. Luckily my kids take after me and are easily distracted, so one of us will pull out a book, crayons, or some other quieter activity and the kids go for it.

 

We definately have the same problem - though it has never gotten that far out of control. They definately egg one another on and get into far more trouble together than they every would individually. Sometimes they are just so funny it is hard not to laugh with them.

Most of the time one does something he knows he shouldn't and does the maniacal laugh. The other giggles. Then they switch places - the giggler does the "bad" thing and the other one laughs. They totally egg one another along. They do it most often at mealtime. Shaking milk out of their sippie cups is a typical example. For the milk case they both lose their sippies. If they keep it up after they are gone (like stabbing food with their folks or smacking) I turn them where they can't see one another. If they keep it up I take the forks or the rest of dinner away sometimes for good, sometimes just until they calm down. My kids are insanely attached to a few toys. Threating to give the toy a time out typically stops all misbehavior.

I also have one who seeks approval, and gets upset if we are disappointed in him. The other could careless. Time out is a joke. It isn't a punishment. We really had to adjust our thinking and find things that were important to them - and each one individually as it wasn't a one size fits all - like toy timeouts, or losing a toy for the night, no brushing teeth (I know - crazy, but just the threat of no brushing teeth is enough to send them into hysterics), or no storytime.

 

For bad behavior its always the same thing for us: Threat of a time out, and then an actual time out if the behavior continues. They can continue to laugh and whoop it up in time out if they want, but they are separated from their sister and stay there until they calm down. But then again I've never had hours of this, so maybe my strategy won't work.

 

kids often laugh when they are scared by our behavior (angry, yelling, etc) when my kids are acting out of control, that's usually an important sign that I must change my behavior quick. This is often why kids seem like they are getting worse as we get madder, etc.

If you meter your reactions to them, stop taking the bait -- you may find that this stuff goes away pretty quickly. you will not be raising trouble makers or kids who behave badly... they are normal kids who test limits and are having fun. they just don't have the governor switch to know what's good fun and not so good fun.

I have twin 3.5 yr olds and a 2 yr old and I've had to learn that my behavior/mental state is one of the biggest indicators of how my kids will do for the day. when I am short iwth my kids or have a big agenda that we must complete, usually that little bit of extra stess puts everything over the edge. if I approach each day with alot more levity and less structure -- life gets much easier. it's amazing that most of the times my kdis misbehave can be directly linked back to MY behavior, not my kids. if we're honest with ourselves and take a look honestly, you may see patterns there.

i certainly did.

Teri

 

oh boy, something to look forward too... we're 9 mo behind you!

right now mine will just be screaming for no reason, and I feel beaten up! my dh laughs at how 2 little babies not even totally 50 pounds together can gang up on momma and whoop her! big hugs!

 

Yes, this happens to me....I feel like they gang up on me, feed off each other and get completely out of control. Everything I say is funny. SO frustrating!

It is posts like this why I love the twinstuff forums....things only people with twins can understand!! Its comforting just knowing other people are facing the same problems as you.

 

Glad to hear some people understand, although I feel bad that other people have had to go through this!

Luckily, we haven't had tooooo many bad instances since I posted my original post. That day was the WORST & I was at my wit's end. We're working through things...and, knock on wood, they haven't ganged up on me much since!

Now watch, today will be the day !

 

This is SO true. The more you react and give attention to behavior that you don't want, the more they will do that behavior.