Repeating Kindergarten

My DD is in kindergarten this year, and has struggled so much academically and socially. She has been in speech and occupational therapy for several years due to a speech delay and sensory issues/poor muscle tone. She was recently diagnosed with sensory integration disorder, language/speech disorder, reading disorder, and possibly ADHD-inattentive. They are also thinking that she has Asperger's, and we are awaiting a neuropsychological evaluation to determine that for sure. She is defintiely behind her peers in almost all areas at school, and her teacher wants her to repeat kindergarten next year. This has been such a hard decision for DH and me to make. I have talked to several child psychologists and done my own research, and we are so torn. She is very comfortable with her current teacher, in fact when she recently went on maternity leave, DD regressed a lot and even started picking at her arms until they blead in school, and her arms are covered in scabs. One thought is to keep her in kindergarten with the same teacher where she is comfortable while we try to get everything figured out. On the other hand, all of the research shows that kids who repeat kindergarten really don't get any benefits from it - if they struggled the first time, the same curriculum will be challenging again. And it is very hard on their self-esteem knowing that they had to stay back while all of their peers promoted. We don't care if she never gets straight A's or anything like that, we just want her to be happy and confident.

Has anyone had their child repeat a grade, and what were the positives/negatives?

 

I have a child who struggled in Kinder and while I WANTED to hold him back the idiot principal thought it was a bad idea. I SO WISH every single day that I had held him back! He is just young for his grade and seems to take a bit longer than the other kids to grasp new concepts. If he was a year behind in school, the concepts would be easier for him, KWIM? I think it would have given him greater confidence in school. He is now at the end of his 3rd grade year and school has not become easier for him at all. Some children just take a bit longer to develop and I think by allowing them that time, you set them up for greater success later on. It sounds like your daughter has a lot more going on than just needing a little extra time, but I know from experience that children aren't just suddenly going to become great students and able to handle curriculum by just pushing them into the next grade. I really don't think it serves anyone well. Also, this year is the ONLY year that repeating a grade is appropriate. As she gets older it will become impossible to hold her back without her feeling the social affects of that decision.

With my twins (also late summer birthdays so very young) I just didn't enroll them for kindergarten the year they were eligible. I 'red-shirted' them. It was absolutely the best decision I have ever made. They have been successful from the first day and I really didn't think they were ready for K the year before. They have had a great year and I think holding them out of kindergarten for that year was a gift I gave them.

 

First, is K half day or full day. If it is half day, I would put her into first unless they offer a full day program. For a child who is simply immature, but has not underlying issued, retention in Kindergarten is successful. BUT, for a child who has an identified learning problem, it has been shown that retention doesn't really offer much help. My second year of teaching, I faced this issue for one of my students. We determined that if she needed to repeat a grade, it would be more beneficial for her to repeat 1st grade than for her to repeat K. (She did have spina bifida and other associated learning issues). She did end up repeating 1st grade, but she got much more out of repeating first than she would have gotten from K, because there is just more to the first grade curriculum.

So, if you got through all that, I would probably let her go on to first, since she will also get support associated with her issues, and if she is still not beginning to make strides, consider retention again next year.

 

I repeated kindergarten. I can't speak from a mother's point of view, but I can personally say I think I benefitted. Certainly nothing negative from it. I ended up always being at the top of my class throughout school and I think I preferred being among the oldest in class as opposed to the youngest (September birthday). my husband was very young for his class and he's told me he hated it. Really, I have no horrible memories or anything like that. I barely remember it.

Sounds to me she may not be ready for the academic expectations of first grade, especially since her teacher is saying it. I think I may agree with the teacher on this one. An extra year to work out what's going on, like you said, may be very beneficial to her. I know it must be a difficult decision, though.

 

My girls have had a wonderful year in half day K - but they will be in full day K next year. I think you have to mentally walk through what you want for your child, what you think her days will be like, and what will be most enriching for your child. Of the 17 kids in my girls' class....9 of them will be going to another year of K. For me, I want them to be older when they graduate high school, I know the curriculum at the better public & other private schools' K is more academically rigorous than the school they attend. My girls are perfectly content going to K again - they are not "repeating" K, they are going from half day K to full day K. Their birthday is in late June, so they will not be much older than the rest of the kids next year. Perhaps another year of K, another year of age, the teacher that is so comforting to your daughter, combined with some extra assistance may help her feel confident & better able to navigate school. I know it is a difficult decision - but my view on the matter.....you can't hurt a child by giving them an extra year....but you can sure create a problem by placing them in a situation they are not ready for. Good luck with your sweet girl.

 

It was suggested to us to hold back our son in K and I refused. We ended up having to hold him back in 3rd and he was devastated. He would constantly tell people he was supposed to be in 4th but he was only in 3rd. It just killed his soul, but we had no other choice, he just kept getting further and further behind. I think that if both socially and educationally your child is behind, holding back in K is much easier than later on when they have established strong bonds with classmates and understand what is going on. It is very difficult decision to make

 

I agree with this!

So often , as a Special Ed. teacher, I saw kids that repeated K but still had the same struggles they had the first time due to underlying issues.

K or 1st are the best grade to repeat if you have to. There is not a lot of social pressure and a switch from 1/2 to all day is a good transition for some kids. In fact, a few of our neighboring districts have jr 1st and/or split K/1 grades for those kids that really need some more time. Some kids benefit from the social growth that an extra year of K provides, esp if they are younger 'end' of their peer group or lack age-appropriate maturity.But I would look into other possible issues as well, she may do well with the additional support that the school could provide.

 

Yeah, my Mom's school has a program called transitional kindergarten. They rarely hold back kids in kindergarten, but they frequently place them in transitional kindergarten.

The teacher wanted to hold my stepson back in 1st grade, but his mother refused. He's gotten so far behind and so disconnected from school that it is sad. I agree if you are going to hold them back do it early.

Good luck with your decision. I'd also keep in mind that you should focus on only studies that look at kids with learning disabilities or other related issues, since your daughter has been diagnosed with some of these issues.

 

I repeated kindergarten. I was painfully shy at that age, plus I started when I was still 4. And I had never gone to preschool. So my mom had me go to kindergarten a second year. I think I greatly benefited from it.

 

Your descriptions sounds a lot like my ds. All the experts here and what I read online said that if a child has a speech delay they cannot have Asperger's. He ended up being tested in 2nd grade and he has dyslexia and ADD. A lot of children who have dyslexia have ADHD. If your child has a reading disorder I would suggest you look into Orton-Gillingham or a program similar. You could hire a tutor that works with non-phonic based learning (they are expensive) or you could go online and learn some of the techinics.

 

I feel I need to add something as to why children with learning issues do not benefit from being retained while children with immaturity issues due. The second is obvious, in that once a child is more ready to learn, they will find success. As to the first, a child with learning issues need to be taught in different ways to make learning "click". Simply repeating a grade, means that the only thing that changes is that they are a year older (keep in mind that the OP's daughter has a December birthday, so is already one of the oldest kids in the class). Whereas by allowing them to move on with their peers, they will get individualized instruction that is aimed at helping them learn, and uses techniques that aren't usually used in a large group setting.

Also, for young children, it is hard to determine the cause of their learning issues until they are older, and have been exposed to more curriculum. I had a child once in second grade, who wasn't reading, wasn't able to do math. We thought that he had a very low IQ. It turned out, once he was tested, he actually had a very high IQ, he was just SEVERELY learning disabled! My point is, what something "looks like" in K, may turn our to be something different as they get older, and charecteristics of specific problems start to diverge.

 

http://www.dys-add.com/backiss.html#retention I got this sent to me today and thought of this post.

 

Thank you so much for everyone's input. After much thought and research we decided to have her repeat Kindergarten next year with her current teacher. We feel very comfortable with our decision, and so does DD. She was also recently diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and the thought of not being in the same classroom with the same teacher made her panic. I know that the research says that retention doesn't do much good, but in our situation it is the best thing. Our kinder programs here are all-day.

Like a PP mentioned, Aspergers and speech delay cannot go hand in hand (which we learned this week when it was verified that she does NOT have Aspergers). She still might be on the spectrum (PDD-NOS), as she fit enough criteria on the informal testing they did. Like I mentioned before, she has a neuropsychological eval in June and we will know so much more then.

This past week we have had OT and SLP evaluations done outside of her school, and they both think that many of her issues stem from her sensory disorder. We will be getting a sensory diet and lots of tools to help her learn how to cope, and I think that that will make a huge difference in school.

She is definitely not ready for the academic or social requirements of first grade. Even though she is one of the oldest in her class, her maturity level is much lower and she is very petite. With her sensory issues and her anxiety, I think first grade would be extremely overwhelming for her. She already struggles with confidence and self-esteem, and I not want to add to that. I am actually really excited for her to try Kindergarten again with all of the new tools we are getting.