Unbelievably clingy

How do you handle a child that just constantly wants to be held????????

We are just getting over a stomach bug and Aaden was hit pretty hard so we've done a lot of cuddling over the past week with him but it's getting to the point where I know he is playing me. He's constantly wanting to me to pick him up or hold him. I can't sit down for five seconds and he's on me. The cry is unbearable and it immediately raises my blood pressure. :headbang: We were just into the dr. office today with him for a check up after this stomach bug and all is well so I know that he's not having any troubles with anything. Maybe it's teething but I really think it's him being clingy. He starts and it gets his brother going.

I'm home for 10 hours a day with them by myself so the days get to be very long and I'm out of ideas as to what to do with them as far as play goes. We don't get out much and the weather has not been nice enough to go outside and that's where he loves to be. They're bored and I don't know what to do. I'm finding this age very hard to deal with sometimes. Anyone else??

Any words of advice as to how to handle a clingy child?? Am I suppose to give in everytime? I haven't been and it makes me feel like I'm a bad mom. I have been telling him that "mommy's not picking you up right now" and then the tears start and keep going... after awhile of the tears I will bend down by him, reassure him that it's okay and mommy still loves him and give him a hug. He's fine for a min. and then it starts all over. This has been ALL day for the past three days. The illness that we were dealing with has been gone for that long except for a cough that creeps up at night after he goes to bed.

**sorry for the long post .. guess I needed to vent too.

 

I've been having the exact same issue with DD!!! It is so stressful. I haven't necessarily found anything that works. I am paying more attention to her because it's the only thing that seems to be effective right now, and today she is closer to her independent self. So I'm guessing just time and a little extra loving?? Just wanted to commiserate with you, hope it gets better soon :hug:

 

Both of my guys have just entered the clingy phase and I'm annoyed already. They climb up my legs, wait and whine at the kitchen gate and if I sit down they fight over my lap. When I have stuff to do, I just keep moving so they can't leech on and if they start to whine or cry I ignore it (so, no you're not a bad mom, unless I'm a bad mom too). When it's play time I try to put one on either side of me with different activities, that usually provides enough contact and mommy-time to keep them happy.

 

Also just writing in to lend support... wish I had some great solutions because I have a super clingy one too!!! Sometimes, he will just cry and cry and whine and whine unless I am holding him. sometimes, he even tries to get me to stand up if I try to sit down. ENOUGH! :angry: I hold him when I can, but there are times that I just need to put him down... to help his brothers, eat some food, whatever. And really... some days it is NON STOP. But then the next day, he'll be better. I just keep repeating... this too shall pass....

-maria
DS1 5
DS2 DS3 20 months

 

I saw the heading for this post and got excited thinking someone may give some words of wisdom on what to do!! Well, it just looks like we are all dealing with the same thing. My one DS just can't be away from us for a minutes w/o completely freaking out. I too have learned to just "ignore" his cries--not that I can really since he is screaming at the top of his lungs! I also don't know if I shoudl pick him up to soothe him or to leave him be and teach him that I'm not going to pick him up just b/c he is crying. I'm not really sure if there is a better route! Oh well---as the PP said....this too will come to an end--it better!!

 

No advice, just another twin mama in the same boat! Thanks for posting though- for some reason, it feels somewhat better to know I'm not the only one!

 

It will definitely drive you bonkers! I found that if they couldn't see me they were ok and would just play so I set up a completely safe playzone and left the room if they were in a clingy stage :rotflmbo: ! There isn't really great advice other than distract, distract, distract and ignore! When my two have gone through really clingy stages I have had to get really creative with things to distract them - creating new drawers that they can dig in and throw things in and out of, buying magnets for the fridge for them to play with, getting a baby pool and setting it up in the house (when it was cold) and giving them a big pot of water and some cups to play with, pots and pans and things to "stir" in them, a big box that acted as a fort, you name it I tried it. It may seem silly to go to so much effort to not hold them but I found that the more I did hold them the more they wanted and I just can't walk around the house with a baby on my hip ALL THE TIME. Getting on the floor and letting them crawl on me worked to but at some point you have to fix their meals, wash clothes, open bills...

Ignoring worked sometimes too, but I have two pretty stubborn ones on my hands so it wasn't always effective - it just meant prolonged screaming, and them following me around to grab onto my legs! It really was a short stage (although annoying enough to seem like it lasted forever) everytime they have gone through it so my best piece of advice is just to hang in there! Surprisingly, my two are pretty independent these days and want to walk everywhere, and not ever be held or cuddled and that makes me kind of sad even though I swore I would never miss the days of them clinging!

 

We have the same issue with Jack; he goes through phases where he wants to be held nonstop, and it makes it almost impossible to get anything done! We do the same thing as Amanda and just give him extra attention. The constant clinginess was very bad a few months ago, and has gotten a LOT better. He still has his needy moments, but it's not nearly as bad as it was.

Hang in there, it WILL get better! :hug: