How do you respond?

Twice in one day, yesterday, I was asked are they identical? One gentleman was looking at a picture and said something like oh, how perfect a boy and a girl and then said "are they identical?" Later, a woman at the grocery store stopped us and commented on how cute they were and asked their names AND for a change my dd was in a dress and ds was in jeans and collared shirt so even if you can't tell just by looking (which I think you can) they were dressed like a boy and a girl and she seemed to get that but then asked the same question. HERE and HERE are pictures - I think you can definitely tell they are related since they do look similar, but they are usually pretty easily distinguishable. Anyway, I always feels rude when someone asks that question because I know I get a dumbfounded look on my face and just can only think to say "no." Does this happen to other people and if it does do you explain why they aren't identical as boy/girl twins, or do you just leave it at no and hope that they figure it out someday?!?

 

Used to get this ALL the time.


My answer depended on my mood. Sometimes I would smile & shrug, sometimes I would explain, occasionally I looked at them like this :crazy: and said "except for the penis".

 

Wow, they are super cute and definitely look very similar! There would be no doubt in my mind that these kids were related.

I think that most people, when they ask bone-headed stupid questions like this, are just trying to make conversation and have no idea how ignorant they sound. ardon: I know I've been guilty of some doozies in my time, some of which I've actually caught before they came out of my mouth... :laughing: Probably most of them don't have any clue about genetics or multiples; I usually tell people like this that B/G twins can't be identical, etc., giving them enough information so they hopefully won't make the same mistake in the future. Of course some people never learn, but you can't help that.

My mother (having been there with me for my entire twin pregnancy, learning about the genetics of fraternals) actually asked me if Molly Ringwald's B/G twins were identical. :blink: I just gave her a look and she said, "that was a really stupid question, wasn't it?". :laughing:

 

I get it all the time! I usually say something along the lines of nope ones a boy ones a girl. It always cracks me up when they say "oh I knew that, but are they identical?" :rotflmbo:

 

If it a family member or a close friend, I try to explain, but for the random questions asked by strangers, I usually just say no, and leave it at that. Probably because I do not want to enagage in any further conversation than I absolutely have to, in order to give the appearnce of being polite.

 

I was asked that question when I was pregnant by a nurse at my OB clinic!!
She felt like an idiot (I am sure) when I explained it to her!!
I dont get asked that probably because my two look nothing alike, I rarely get asked if they are twins.

Your kids are soooooo cute and do look A LOT alike!!

 

You know that National Geographic special on twins said that it actually is possible for their to be opposite sex identical twins. There would have to be some kind of genetic mutation soon after the division of the egg on the sex related chromosomes, which is highly unlikely, but possible.

Either way, it's not really a practical question because the odds of that a probably less than winning the lottery twice.

I also have to say your twins look very similar, more similar than my twins who are of the same sex. I guess I'd just shake my head a little a say nope.

 

I STILL get people commenting to me about "oh are they twins", I am actually amazed that people even ask at all. I have come across many, many nice people. But it all depends on my mood, if i am in a hurry or not. I tell them two boys, fraternal, and age, without them going any further, i smile and continue on my way. My biggest fear is the older ladies reaching out to touch them...EEEKKK...germaphobe here...No touching, so before they do i skedaddle as fast as i can without a backward glance...

 

i was going to say i always assume they've seen this & are wondering if your twins are of the extra special variety. from what i've heard there are only 6 known pairs of identical boy/girl twins in the whole world - and the disorder usually comes with a whole host of other conditions associated with it.

if i'm feeling particularly garrulous at the time, i will launch into a full lecture on zygosity & how, while rare, it IS possible to have boy/girl identical twins. i expect that most people who have to listen to my diatribe never ask the question again.

 

We’ve had kind-of the opposite happen. We have monozygotic boys that even we have trouble telling apart in some pictures. One of our boys has a (relatively popular in America) Serbian name that ends in an ‘a’ so for some reason people think his name is a girl’s name… I guess because many American girl names end with an ‘a’. So, quite often, AFTER I say that yes, they’re IDENTICAL twins, and I tell people their names, people refer to baby A correctly but baby B as a she… and I have to correct them. I even had one person say ‘wow, for a boy and a girl they look SO much alike, I don’t think I can tell them apart’.



It bugs me when this happens, too.. but I think mostly because people think baby B is a girl. I know they’re not running around naked or anything, but I would think that I wouldn’t have to explain that he’s a BOY AFTER I tell people they’re identical!



Who knows, maybe in today’s ultra-political correct climate people don’t want to assume that a child dressed like a boy is a boy, and a child dressed like a girl is a girl… though I seriously doubt that is the reason.

 

Thanks guys! For some reason I am always reminded of that cute little kid from the Kindergarten Cop movie when someone asks, and it is all I can do not to say "Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina!"

Oh, and I do get the "are they twins" question too and even had someone argue with me that my ds was taller so he couldn't be dd's twin! With that one I just always get caught up in what the person thinks is going on if it isn't twins - am I the hot nanny watching two little ones (ha, ha I wish), did I have them REALLY close together and have one that is super big and one that isn't growing as well, do I enjoy looking frazzled and stressed when trying to get two of them in and out of stores...

 

I am :rotflmbo: because I could have written this post! I too have b/g and I get the "Are they identical?" question ALL.THE.TIME!! :lol:

If I feel charitable, I say politely "No, they are a boy, and a girl, it's physically impossible for them to be identical." If I feel pissy, they get a "Everything except the diaper area!"

Mine are very similar, mostly because of their big blue eyes, but then again, ALL my kids are similar, they are, after all, products of dh and I, they are bound to share similar, sibling type traits!

 

Yep, b/g twins here and I get the same questions over and over. Like others have said, it does depend on my mood. Sometimes I just say no, but sometimes - to be funny - I look at them and say "only above the diaper", which usually gets a giggle from the person who now feels stupid, lol. I have found that by doing that it usually lightens my mood too :blush:

 

I still get that ? all the time and had three people ask me over the weekend. We have had two people at the peds office ask us, a nurse & medical assistant :headbang: . If DH is with me and sick of the stupity he points at Max and says "penis" and then points at Lily and says "no penis". That definately shuts them up, but it can be harsh yet still funny to watch their reaction.

 

I get that a lot... also people will ask if they are both boys even though DD is usually dressed very girlish. I just usually say, no not identical since they are b/g.

 

I get asked this all the time as well. Even when my daughter has on a pink dress and hair bows, they still ask me.

 

I still get this a lot too. The funny thing is that mine look nothing alike. DD is brown hair, brown eyes like me and she is about an inch taller and thinner. DS is blond hair, hazel eyes like his dad and stockier, shorter. Whenever people ask me if they're identical, I just say all surprised, "oh, actually it's a girl and a boy." Sometimes they still look at me confused, but I look at them like I already answered the question They can go home and google it if they need to

 

:laughing:

 

I think people are so funny when they see twins! On my girls' birthday I dressed them in pink tu-tus and someone actually said, "do you have a boy and a girl?" :rotflmbo:

I have decided that people don't think before they speak, most of the time.

 

I get the same thing. I can have one dressed in blue and one in pink and people will still ask if they are both boys... or girls.

 

lol i just reply 'no' and leave it at that. i don't have time or energy to give biology lessons... lol. mine are both girls but one has blonde hair and blue eyes, and one has brown hair and brown eyes. not exactly identical...

 

I give them the whole, "nope, one has a penis and one has a vagina" (yes, from Kindergarten Cop). Usually clams them up for a while.

But if I get the dreaded, "Are you sure? They look so much alike" I start with the whole, "well see, I dropped two eggs, one got fertilized with an "X" chromosome, one with a "Y", since a set of identicals means that only ONE egg was dropped and then split, and my two didn't happen like that, they're fraternal. But you're right, they do look alike."

 

When the twins were younger, people would ask me if they were ID twins and I´d just say no. It bothered me a lot more when people assumed they were either 2 boys or 2 girls when both were clearly dressed as a boy & a girl!! I try to ignore people´s comments but as they´ve got older, the comments have definitely got less!

 

same here as infants...when I'd get asked my standard answer (snarky or not) was "not from the waist down!"

 

ROFL. You're nice. I'd probably be tempted to say something snarky at that point... like well, they DID have those body parts last time I changed their diapers... do you want me to check again?

 

My MO is to get them really squirming in their pants. I make sure to say it really loud and matter of factly and in really dumbed down terms, like how a preschool teacher would explain it to a bunch of 4 year olds.