Help! Nearly here and feeling overwhelmed and scared!

I have 11 days at most until my c/s and feel very overwhelmed and scared. I'm terrified at how I'll cope with 2 little babies!
I have had 2 singletons before, so it's not like I'm completely unprepared, but I just can't help feeling very nervous.

The last 2 weeks have been harder on my body than anything else so far and each day, more so. So half of me wants it to be over, but the other half says, "Are you mad?!"
I feel guilty at feeling like this sometimes as with my previous 2, I canremember being more excited than scared. For example, it's nearly midnight here and I should be in bed.

Any advice, encouragement, memories for these last weeks?

 

YOu will be fine. :hug:

I was in your exact spot a month ago, and I can tell you that everything will be fine. I've been pleasantly surprised at how well things have gone. It will be a bit chaotic at first, but you will find your groove.

:hug:

 

I don't really have any advice for you but did want to say I'm right there with you! I've started actually having nightmares about being unprepared! At least you have two other children and you've been down this road before in some sense. You are definitely more prepared than you think. I suspect you will surprise yourself and, besides the fact that there will be two of them, you will know just what to do.

But I completely get it! Every day I wonder, how much time do I have left? I'm excited to meet them but, oh boy, am I nervous/freaked out/scared! Hang in there, I really do think when they arrive, it really won't be as bad as we've imagined. And you'll take it one step at a time. Hang in there!

 

You are doing an amazing job right now mama! Keep up the good work and stay focused! Everyday that those babes are in there, the better and each day will get longer and you will wonder how you will carry them any longer - but your body will surprise you!
It will be a little crazy at first, but its just because you have two, but you will find that groove and things just fall into place! There is nothing to be scared about!!! You are going to be holding your prscious little babies in no time and its the BEST feeling in the world! You already know the feeling of pride and joy and instant love and you will have twice over!
I wish you all the best of luck on your delivery and your first few weeks at home! You are doing amazing!!!

 

Totally feel you. I'm 35 wks and 4 days. I want them to be out so badly, even though I know the longer they could stay in the better it is for them. In the past few days I broke down twice, crying to my husband that "I've had enough!". Yes I'm also couldn't care for my 7 and 5 yrs old as much as I'd like to. I would lose my patience with them easily. On the other hand I'm also scare for the c/s, never had one before. And surely also scare for the health of the babies, for the sleepless nights to come and for the dramatic change of our family. I'm also fustrated that my doc wouldn't schedule a c/s until I'm 38 wks which I can not imagine myself to last that much longer.
So you are not out there by yourself. Guess whole bunch of us are feelin more or less the same! ;(

 

I'm almost 35 weeks and I'm feeling exactly the same! These are our first, so maybe I'm naive, but it's really not having them at home that I'm worried about- I think I'm more on edge about the fact that we have no idea when or how these little pumpkins will get here and if they'll be healthy and ready to home immediately or if they'll have to stay in the hospital. We feel like they could come any day or we could still be waiting a couple of weeks from now. Big hugs! Like PP said- I think we're all in this together and we'll probably be laughing about all of this a couple of months from now!!!!

 

It is overwhelming, but you will be amazed at how quickly you will adjust. Having already had children will help you out more than you realize. At least you will know things to expect and how to organize and get ready for them. It really doesn't take you long to get a routine down with them...I guess it happens out of necessity...and before long people will be wondering how you do it all. Hang in there :hug: Remember, this time only lasts for a little while and before you know it, they'll be heading off to school.

 

My twins were my first and only children and I can remember feeling the same way you did and also feeling totally overwhelmed. I am not going to say that those first days are a bed of roses but you and your family will get into a rhythm and there is going to be a point where you are going to be like, "I was worried about this?" What you are feeling is totally natural. Hang in there Momma and enjoy these last days of pregnancy :hug:

 

Same here and I totally agree. I wish you all successful deliveries, healthy babies, and a smooth transition home. You can do it and there will be tons of support from the First Year forum and Breastfeeding forum here on twinstuff.

Also, when I came home with the babies three weeks ago, I kept repeating little mantras to myself, like: my family and I will get into a rhythm and I will learn from my babies and my babies will learn from me, etc.

 

Gosh I hope your right! In fact, lets make it a deal to catch up on here and do just that lol!

I feel so up and down. One minute I wan tthem out, the next I'm putting on a brave face and telling everyone that they're quite happy where they are for another 1 1/2 weeks!
I have had to stay with family in another city to be closer to the hospital too. This means i am away from my husband and 2 children for up to 5 days and Feel quite alone at times. I am not usually one for homesickness, but I think just not being in my own surroundings and knowing that things could change dramtically at any time really doesn't help.

My babies are a great weight so far and everything seems to be good.
One of the things I am very nervous about is bf. I bf my dd for 2 years all up, but the first 3 months were horendous!!!! :girl_devil: I can't imagine how we'll go with 2, but it's something I really want to do.

Anyway, that's my whinge for the night!

What inspired you through those last weeks?

 

Don't worry- you'll figure things out. I know when I was pregnant I was so worried about dealing with 2 babies at the same time, but once they get here you don't worry- you just do it. I did have to learn to be ok with one baby crying while I tended to the other one. The early months are now a blur to me- it seems like a blink of an eye.

 

It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed and scared. I did! I think I cried the entire last month of my pregnancy!

I had my b/g twins on Dec. 15... I was terrified of being in the hospital at Christmas because I had my DD7 at home and she wasn't able to visit me because of hospital swine flu rules. I am very close to her -- my only for so long! -- and was worried about this, as well as her adjusting to her sibling, plus worried about caring for 2 babies, having a C-section, etc. etc. etc. You name it and I was worried about it!

I had them at 37 weeks exactly. Week 32 and on were absolutely miserable. Up until that point I could get around well and wasn't feeling so bad, but then -- BAM! -- I could barely walk around without feeling so heavy and tired. I wanted them out, but I was scared to have them out!

The C-section was fine and the recovery was much better than I expected. I had them on a Tuesday and was home on Friday. The first 6 weeks were, I must say, exhausting. Be prepared to just be tired, all the time.

However, this is how I survived -- I just kept telling myself: "This is only temporary. This will not last forever. Someday I will wish they were this small!"

My mantra worked, for the most part, although those first weeks are such a blur and I did cry a lot and fight with my also sleep-deprived hubby! But we made it through with the help of my mom, who came during the day on weekdays to help out with housework and feedings. If you can get some help, take it! Even if it's just having someone bring a meal, every little bit helps!

Also, figure out systems of organization now that might work for you, but also be flexible if they don't work. Plan to write down when you feed each baby, because I will say that I forgot who I fed when, or if my mom was around, she could write it down so I could glance at it. And plan for the next day -- if you have to go out with the babies for a doctor's appointment, pick out their clothing the night before and set the piles up, including the diaper. Pack the diaper bag. If you have older children, get lunches and backpacks and clothes picked out the night before. I found that mornings were so crazy with babies wanting to eat and having to make it on time to the bus stop or doctor's, so advance planning is a blessing.

Don't stress about breastfeeding; it's not the end of the world if it doesn't work out for you. I didn't, and I didn't look back or feel guilty about it. I knew that I would be miserable being the only source of food, and I knew they would eat more frequently if I breastfed (my formula-fed twins still ate every 2 hours at the beginning). I knew I wouldn't be a happy breastfeeding mom, and if I wasn't happy, then I couldn't keep sane and keep them happy. My babies are happy and healthy. (No anti-breastfeeding comments please!)

My babies are 3.5 months old now -- I can't believe how much time flies when you have twins. My DD has adjusted fantastically with little problems, and I'm now attempting to establish routines in my babies' lives. One twin sleeps thorugh the night like a charm, while the other still wants a feeding after 5 hours or so. But 5 hours of sleep in a row is such a blessing!

Good luck, and try to enjoy these last few days before the babies arrive! It's OK to have feelings all over the place!

 

Two things- firstly, I WISH I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT THIS for the first couple of months. I also wrote down when they ate, especially before I got the hang of tandem breastfeeding. It's exhausting how much paper I went through. It would have been so much easier to push a button.

Secondly, I agree that you have to decide for yourself if you'd like to breastfeed. I personally took a week to make the decision. Then, if you do, get help in place- see if your hospital has LCs in staff, if they do home visits, get DH on board & have a friend who has BTDT. All of those things really helped me and I'm very happy with my decision, although it wasn't easy in the beginning (I doubt twin newborns are, anyway). :catfight:

Another thing- at the end, I made a notebook with a page for me, a page for DH & a page that a friend would take care of. Getting all those last minute details on paper, knowing who'd take care of them was a big relief.

Good luck!

 

I ditto all of this. I was on bedrest from week 30 on and I cried all the time. I just wanted it to be over, I was so miserable. It's completely normal to feel that way.

My c-section was fine and so was my recovery.

The first 4-6 weeks of twins are the absolute worst. Some people say that the first 6 months is really hard but I'm honestly finding that each month things get easier and better. At one month, it just seemed to be a tiny bit better, by 2 months things were getting good. We're close to 3 months and it's great! The babies can entertain themselves, they are smiling and laughing, and only waking up once or twice in the night for a quick feed and then right back to sleep.

Just hang in there! I let my fear lead me to an elective c-section because I was scared to death of vaginal birth. But now I think that I could have done it and next time, I will! Everything is much scarier on the still-pregnant side of it. Afterwards you'll realize how little things really were and how strong you really are!

 

Thanks for posting this. I have been alternating between "oh my god we're running out of time and we'll never be alone and have peace again" to "oh my god i can't wait to not have this terrible uncomfortable feelings" to "i want my boys already!"

I got another 9 weeks or so to go until my "goal" of 36 weeks... Its so nice to hear that yes its hard, but not impossible.

 

Awwee! Memories! I had my boys at 35 weeks 4 days I had contractions for 8 days until my water finally broke! The best thing I can say is that I know how much you want them out but each day they are in there, it truly is a blessing!! My two had jaundice really bad and had to be attached to lights for a few days at home (but were able to come home from the hospital with me ) And I can remember just thinking a few days later that I wish I was more patient when they were inside. Now they are 15 months old and it feels like yesterday they were born. Also, it is a whole lot easier than I had thought. I was soo anxious and nervous about having two babies at once that I didnt enjoy the pregnancy. It truly is amazing and you CAN do it! our bodies were made for this (albeit double the baby) but you will be amazed how you can handle two during labor, delivery and beyond. They are truly miracles the best to you!! :banana:

I think the 15 month age is a lot harder than when they are newborns!!!! They are soo moveable now! but they are not as hard as one thinks

 

Just wanted to give :hug: and say :youcandoit: !!! Everything will fall into place and you'll be amazed at how well you'll be able to adjust! Just remember to take it one day at a time!!! :clapping:

 

Thanks heaps for all the replies! Just hearing from those who've been there before and come out on the other side with a little bit of sanity still intact is a great help. Also to hear from those who are feeling the same way makes me feel more normal.

To the poster above, did you have just 1 or 2 of these? Had a look at the link and have to say it seems like a great idea especially as I'm not usually a good 'diary' type person.

My husband is taking a couple of weeks off then prob another couple of weeks unpaid as well, when the babies are born. Both our parents work so won't have as much help as we would like/need.
I do feel incredibly grateful for each day that bubs stay inside as Iknow that will help them. I realise too that to get to this point is great! I just wish that these last couple of weeks wern't so darn hard!

 

By the time I realized I needed 1, they were almost done with the record keeping, so I never got one. There are people that have had them on this board, though. I would think it depends on your babies- no reflux or meds you could probably use just 1. If they have any meds, a second would probably be worth it.

The end is so hard! I kept repeating to myself that this day is over & I never have to repeat it. I also cried almost every day as there is something pathetic about not being able to reach your ankles to put on your own underwear.

a friend of mine had her hubby take 2 weeks off completely, then do 2 weeks of 1/2 days. This was a easier transition for her and she got more help longer. I don't know if this is an option for you...

Good luck!

 

Am definately thinking about getting one.
Ditto about not being able to put on underwear!

 

Well, I have 3 more sleeps to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. :lol: :cry: Am kinda excited one minute and utterly terrified the next.
Can't believe that the time's nearly here and yet somehow it still doesn't feel real?! Like it's happening to someone else. Do others feel like that?

 

My C-section is scheduled for Wednesday... and yes, it seems very surreal! I can't believe I made it this far (38 weeks + 1 day). I am useless at home, I can't do anything but sit on the couch and think, "Oh my gosh, I am going to be holding my babies in two days."

I am ready to deliver, can't wait for my belly to stop itching and my lungs to resume normal capacity. But this is the easy part! :laughing:

Good luck to you!

 

Good luck to you too!
Iam feeling pretty useless at home too. I keep telling myself to try and enjoy not having to do much as it will be a loooooooooong time till I have that feeling of boredom/restlessness again! :silly:

 

I remember those last days -- it was so hard to wait! But, I'll tell you from experience that it is so much better to keep 'em cooking as long as you can than to have them early and deal with health issues. And, even if they are born healthy (but early) they are often too small to be able to feed well. That results in a feeding tube and extra time in the hospital. If you have a C-section, you can't even drive yourself to go see them! So... hang in there as long as you can! So worth it!

Kat
2 sets of twins born 26 months apart