How to train twins to go to sleep on their own

My twin boys are 4 months old - and we rock them to go to sleep for naps and for bedtime at night. It is getting very tiring. Is it too early to teach them to go to sleep in their crib without us rocking them? If so... how have some of you done this? My boys share a room. They are somewhat used to each others noises - sometimes they wake each other up - but sometimes they don't. Any advice?

 

I relied on The Baby Whisperer to help us out. she definitely calls that a "prop"... rocking them to sleep. We never did that so I don't really have any specific advice. other than at a certain age the book recommends patting them to sleep while they are in the bed. a nice firm pat - its supposed to break their crying concentration. when they get a little older they recommend PUPD 'pick up put down', where you literally pick them up and hold them ONLY until they calm down... then you put them down. you may repeat this many time and for a few hours... but the next night is supposed to go better etc. I think its good that you are wanting to train them now I think at 4 months they will (hopefully) learn to go to sleep by themselves fairly quickly. One thing that she and other authors mention is to make sure they are awake even if just a little when you put them down...

I hope others who have gone through this rocking and come out the other side have good advice for switching gears now.

 

We too have always rocked our boys while giving them their bedtime bottle (as well as for naps), and we have been paying the price for that for months. I think the Baby Whisperer book and the No Cry Sleep Solution give good advice as far as how to break bad sleep habits, though I think a lot of those methods can be really hard when dealing with TWO babies. There was no way that I was going to do the "pick up put down" thing with two babies for potentially hours. So just this week (starting on Monday night) we started doing CIO with our boys after feeding them their bottle and then putting them in their cribs drowsy but awake. Well our goal was for them to be drowsy but awake, however, one night Brandon was out cold and tonight Colin was out when laid in his crib. But there has been plenty of crying the past 5 nights, LOL, some worse than others. I definitely think we are very close to being able to lay them both in their cribs drowsy but awake without any crying. We do graduated extinction meaning that we go in and pat them/rub heads for a minute or two after 10 min, then 15 min, then 20 minutes, etc. The first night Colin cried for close to 45 minutes (his brother cried about 25 min before throwing in the towel and going to sleep amidst his brothers cries). The next night there was only crying for 20 minutes or so. The night after that Colin let out a whimper but only lightly fussed for 2 minutes before joining his brother in Sleepy Town. Anyway, we're getting there, gradually. As for when to do CIO, I wouldn't do it before 6 months, but that is just my own personal feeling on it. If I'm going to let my baby cry I want to make sure they have some self-soothing skills and I'm not 100% sure babies have enough of those at 4 months old. And because our boys were 2 months premature we waited even longer. We would have done it sooner when our boys were 8 months old, but it took us this long to feel like we would be able to follow through with CIO. And while the first night was rough, it has gotten easier each night to listen to their cries (and easier for the boys too as they don't cry very long now). Anyway, I hope things get better for you soon!! I know how hard it can be. GL!

 

I had the same problem at 4 months. At that time, my pedi suggested that I do extinction CIO. Instead, I put them in their cribs to sleep, and checked on the in increasing intervals: 3 min, 5 min, .... up to 15 min. It took 3 days of hell. I did the same at night. Now I am so so so happy I did it. I can literally just walk into my girls' room, lay them in their cribs, and walk out. They go right to sleep. It's beautiful. When people come to my house and I go to put the girls down and come back after 30 seconds, they are always shocked. I also suggest establishing a bedtime routine. It helps babies get the idea that its time for sleep. Before I started sleep training, my girls slept 2 hours tops at a time. At 5 months they started sleeping 10 and now at 8 months, they go 12-13. Good luck~

 

Another good book is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I bought mine used on Amazon for about $6.

He does believe in CIO and I started sleep training around 4 1/2 months. It is hard the first few days, but it will get better and is so worth it.

His big thing is "sleep begets sleep". The more the nap during the day, the more they'll sleep at night.

My boys are almost 27 months and still sleep 12 hours at night and take a 3 (sometimes 4) hour afternoon nap.

 

Thanks everyone!! I have all the books mentioned - but was looking for added advice with twins... which you all gave I know how important sleep is, so I make sure to have my boys take all the naps they need. It is true that the days they nap better - they end up sleeping better at night.

I agree that it is probably too soon for CIO - so maybe we'll do the gradual extinction. I think my DH and I just need to prepare ourselves for some rough nights - but it should be worth it.

 

Personally I think 4 months old is too young to "sleep train" or do CIO. I think its okay that they still need you to help them fall asleep. Mine fell asleep on the bottle or breast forever and then we would just transition them to the crib. As they age, they will get better and learn how to self soothe. You can rock them for a bit and get them drowsy and then lay them down in the crib and see if that works. Or maybe try and rub their backs once they are in the crib to see if you can get them to sleep that way so that you arent rocking them totally asleep all the time. But if that is what works, then at that age I would stick with it.

And I second getting "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." That is a great book for sleep milestones and issues.

 

This sounds like something we can do. Did your girls share a room? Our boys do. When you put them in their cribs, did you pat them or do anything else? Should I do this with all sleep right away, or start with nighttime sleep them move to naps. Right now we rock them for all sleep times. Anymore specifics you can share would be great. Thanks so much!

 

A white noise machine should help "wash out" any noise they make that would bother each other. I swear by ours. I didn't use CIO until 5.5 months to eliminate night feedings and then at 11 months to stop the rock-to-sleep habit, but it does work. What works for us now is when they need a little soothing is I put them down awake and rub their heads or butts and sing a few songs. The cribs are end-to-end, so it works for us. Most nights and naps they happily go to sleep on their own.

 

This is the approach I followed with my first (using the same book!). We did CIO at bedtime at about 8 weeks. It was hard, but worked in 3 nights. This time around, I have worked harder at soothing the babies for a few minutes, and then putting them down drowsy but awake. That's hard too! But I remember how exhausting it was to rock, rock, rock and then to have to start the whole process over again if DS woke up as I put him down - torture!

 

Thanks... I have a white noise machine - and my DH and I use a lot of soothing techniques like "sh"ing and patting and so on. It just feels like I'm about to go out of my mind - because they are waking up often throughout the night. Sometimes the soothing works without picking them up - but many times it doesn't. So, my thinking is - that if I can get them to go to sleep on their own in the first place (drowsy but awake) - that will help them go back to sleep when they wake up. I've read all the books - so I'm trying to convince my DH to start to do something. Pick a plan and stick with it. That's why I wanted to see what worked for others.