Does everyone find out gender?

Hi all!

I'm brand new to TS and am 8 weeks pregnant with twins after three long years of trying naturally and doing IVF. We couldn't be more thrilled! One thing I'm wondering about is the question of finding out the sex of the babies. We'd been planning all along not to find out, but now are wondering if not finding out with twins makes us a little crazy. Would love to hear opinions - especially if you didn't find out.

Thanks,
Chris

 

When we got pg I told DH that I didn't want to find out this time. Then we found out they were twins so I wavered a bit, but finally decided that I still didn't want to know. BUT, then we found out they were sick so I wanted to know for the bonding since we didn't know if they would even survive. It was all psychological, I'm sure

I would have loved to be surprised so I say go for it! I didn't feel that way with my first two--I had to know with them and couldn't imagine how anyone wouldn't want to find out the gender.

 

I totally wanted to find out. I'm such a planner, I *needed* to know. But that's me, you might not need to know like I did. However, if you end up getting lots of ultrasounds, you might find out accidently!

 

I was like you (right down to the 3 years of TTC and IVF!). I had planned not to find out, but when I learned it was twins, I decided I wanted to know. There were so many things about twins that I was unsure about, I thought it might at least help my anxiety level to know whether we needed to pick girls' names or boys' names!

It also gave me something to tell people, since we weren't sharing the names we had picked until after they were born.

It didn't actually make that much difference in how we planned, since I was trying to keep things relatively gender-neutral anyway. But I guess it did make it easier for other people to buy gifts, since there is very little out there (even for newborns -- but that's a separate rant of mine) that isn't gender-specific. You can only have so many things that are yellow or green. :laughing:

 

I recently bumped into a friend that had an awesome idea... she had the Dr tell her husband what the sex was and it was revealed to her at her baby shower...EVERYTHING WAS PINK!

I just thought it was amazing! As far as finding out, it really depends on you! I couldn't for the life of me not ask!! Good luck and let us know what you decide.

Julixa
www.Stuff4Multiples.com

 

We did not find out their genders. Like you, we had been TTC for a while and with the help of IVF had our girls. While we were trying, alot of our friends & relatives were having babies, most if not all of them found out the sex and told everyone the name ahead of time or 2 or 3 names they were picking from. When we would get calls from our friends after they had delivered, we didn't get to hear "Its a boy" and is name is Matt, we'd hear Matt's here. For us, it was sort of anti-climatic and we really wanted to be surprised - we had 2 and wouldn't know either sex! Most of our family couldn't believe we wouldn't find out - they wanted to know for clothes, etc. I had thoughts now and then of what it would be like to find out because I'd see such cute bedding for their room, but I didn't cave! Good Luck.

 

I didn't find out the gender of any of my babies before they were born. I really like the surprise factor myself. After being in labor for hours, I loved the suspense of not knowing if it was going to be a boy or a girl. It's totally a personal preference. Lots of people like to find out to make it easier for people buying gifts for the baby shower, but here it is tradition to have the shower after the baby is born so it's not a big deal.

 

Hi Chris and welcome to Twinstuff. Congrats on your twins. :Clap:


I will tell you that with my oldest DD we did not find out at 20w and by 30 weeks I was dying to know the sex. We did end up having another u/s very unexpectedly and found out. I was really glad I did.

That said when we found out we were having twins we both wanted to find out the sexes, there was no way I could have not found out. It made it much easier to pick 2 names already knowing the sexes. :good:

 

Same here. :good: I just had to know so I could get ready.

 

Yeah, i'm a planner and had to know what we were having. The twins factor was our surprise! Plus there was no way that I could have not found out. But I know of someone who didn't find out the gender of her twins and it was pretty exciting for her and for everyone else to find out once they finally had them!

 

We didn't find out with our twins or with this new baby due in June either. Like a pp stated, its sort of anti-climatic...like "where's the surprise?" when you already know whats coming. I LOVED hearing "Its a BOY!" x2 in the delivery room....not to mention it gives Daddy the awesome job of going to the waiting room to tell everyone...I have some very sweet pictures my Mom took of my DH coming in to announce it

 

Thanks so much for all the feedback - it's really helpful to understand how others thought through it. I'm intrigued by the "reveal at the shower" idea, but I'm wondering if my DH could really keep it to himself. Lots to think about!!!

 

Hi Twins Friens; At 18 weeks I have no major desire to know the genders, however my husband and I have had a few lively discusssions, as he does want to know. I think I'll ask the doctors not to tell us, but let him see if he can discern it on his own....I however, do NOT want to know. What a wonderful way to be surprised....

 

I wanted to know anyway, and as soon as possible. I'm not that patient, I beg DH to give me my Christmas and birthday presents as soon as he buys them. (And I try to give him his.) :laughing: But I was especially glad to know the sexes of my twins because at 25 weeks I was put on complete bedrest (which lasted 11 weeks). I really needed to bond with the babies during that scary ordeal. DH and I had been struggling with names but then we chose them immediately after the bleeding episode. I needed to "talk" with my babies, encourage them and imagine them as specifically as I could. Hopefully you won't go through that... just my perspective.

 

We didn't find out. When we thought there was only one baby we were both on board with having a surprise. Well, after we found out we were expecting twins I decided that was my surprise and was ready to find out their genders. My husband, however, was dead set against it. It made it difficult for buying clothes and planning the nursery and everyone thought we were crazy. It was also difficult to choose names. As it happens we ended up with two boys, and had only agreed on names for two girls. The boys didn't have names for 5 weeks!!! Everyone definitely thought we were crazy by then! I am a planner and it really frustrated me at times, not knowing. I think I would have found out on my own but the ultrasound techs would only reveal the genders if both parents wanted to know, and since my husband came to every appointment with me I was out of luck.

 

With dd I couldn't wait to find out, but when we found out we were pregnant again I was convinced we would wait. But then we found out it was twins...I was on the fence for about a week (I'm also a major planner) but ultimately decided to wait to find out. Life does not usually offer such great opportunities for such wonderful surprises. Waiting was the best decision I've ever made!! There were certainly times I wanted to cave (and ample opportunity with all the extra ultrasounds) but I'm sooooo glad we waited!!!! It was indescribable to hear "It's a Boy" and then hearing it again 5 minutes later!


As for the planning part, we chose completely gender neutral gear (although we still had some pink stuff left over...which I ended up swapping out on craigslist after they were born) We also had a "Welcome the Twins Baby Shower Open House" about 6 weeks after they were born. Everyone loved seeing the boys and it was great to get boy clothes...there's only so much yellow and green I could handle, plus we are set on clothes for the next year! I think people were more excited to attend another baby shower when they could actually see/hold the babies.

 

With my first DD, I said I didn't want to find out. Well we had a few problems with the pregnancy and ended up having quite a few ultrasounds. I decided to find out. We never did find out the gender, she had her legs tucked up every time and we couldn't get a look at the "goods". LOL With the twins, we wanted to know but in all the of ultrasounds that we had they were never able to tell the gender of both. They said we couldn't be sure if they were looking at a different baby each time or the same one since they could be switching places.

So even if you do want to find out it is not always possible.

 

I didn't want to find out. I loved that there was still a surprise for me at the end of the road. I ended up having a tough delivery and my husband found out before me because I was out. And then with my second pregnancy, we wanted a surprise again. Having boy/girl twins made that easy since I already had ALL the stuff.

And as for naming them, I couldn't name my children until I met them. I had to see them before I actually chose from the list of names we had.

Good luck with your decision!! And congrats on your twins!!

 

We are planning to find out. Since this is my first pregnancy I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with all of the things I need to learn and do to prepare for them. Coming up with names, decorating the nursery, even choosing bedding seem like a bigger challenge when we don't know the sex. I know it's possible to do all that, but I'd like one less thing to fret over rather than needing to be prepared with 4+ names and worrying whether the car seats I picked are too girly or the bedding is too boyish. I think it will be a relief to know and will make planning easier for us and my husband agrees.