oh ahhhm sorry Mama

typing fast gotta get out the door but why is it though that I am attaching a stigma or saying it's "bad" I am saying it is inappropriate and breasts are not something MY 9 yr old needs to be talking about in day to day conversation.

be back later. I did not even read your whole post :wavey:

 

OMG! It's so funny there is a thread about this because my 17 month olds are just discovering my boobs! (And, yes, I have big DD boobs) Just tonight Morgan pushed on them and I said "those are mommy's boobs" and she smiled and said "boos"!! I thought it was hysterical!

Isn't it funny how we all are so different in what we consider to be appropriate words to teach our children?!

 

I find this conversation really interesting and it reminds me of the way body parts were, or more often, were not, discussed in my own home growing up.

If, as you say, there is no shame in the word "breasts" or the actual breasts themselves then why is your 9 year old son not allowed to talk about them in daily conversation? Why would you wish to regulate something if you did not find it dangerous or problematic, at least on some level?


Having worked with nine year olds, it has been my experience that if something is deemed inappropiate and the discussion around the topic (whatever it is) is heavily regulated or considered only something adults can discuss, then it almost always becomes stigmatized, whether that's the adults intention or not. For some kids the stigma makes it even more fun to talk about! For other kids, the learn to fear the topic because of the stigma. This may not happen in your home. I have no idea about your home. But in my own experience I have seen this to be the case.

As I said, this reminds me of my own childhood home, which is why I find this topic so interesting. I have no idea if my home is anything like yours, Twin Trip Mommy. I am just saying the conversation reminds me of it. My mom used to always tell me I could ask her anything; I could always come to her and ask questions about body parts and the like. Yet the few times I did make mention of these things she often showed her disapproval over the way I said something or wanted to know where I had "learned" certain things. When we would have interchanges like this I was never really sure what exactly she was disapproving of, although I could tell from the look on her face and her body language that I was not making her happy. She seemed very fearful of topics of conversation involving body parts, even though she often SAID I could talk to her about anything. She seemed to have a lot of rules that I did not understand about *how* to talk about these subjects. But she never told me what these rules were. SHe seemed to assume I knew. I never did learn the rules....but I did learn it was easier to just avoid the topics of conversation all together.

Needless to say, I never went to her to talk to her about my questions about my body, sexuality, etc.

 

I was wondering that myself....

Abby asked me one time if she was going to have big boobs like me when she got old - I find the reference to being "old" even worse than "boobs" (although the entire conversation was funny)...:lol:

 

Huh??? If you are going to quote me, please do so in the context in which my posts were written. I DID NOT say you shouldn't post multiple times in a day. You currently have 3 threads going (that I know of) which are rather heated in nature. Most of which, according to you, contain issues in which someone somewhere is questioning your good sense, your parenting, your happy-go-lucky disposition, yadda, yadda. I guess I consider that a stressful way to spend my free time, that's all. "Me" meaning *you*, not *me*. I could care less. This has been entertainment for me while I've been nursing a potentially broken toe all day. That's all. So I repeat. Panties are all good.

So to quote you on another reply to me, no, apparently I'm NOT sufficiently enlightened. I'm more confused than ever.

 

I'm done. I'm not wrong and others are not wrong. Although I am getting that some others do not feel the same as me. We are different. My heart and my conscience are clear about how I am raising my children. The assumptions made toward me in this thread do not make me feel shame or guilt and my children do not feel shame or guilt. Some of you may think badly of me but I just don't care I may not be a great mom or even a good mom according to some here but I am the best mom I can be for MY children.

and in the wise words of London Tipton :yahoo: me!

 

GandEmom, that was an excellent, enlightening post! Thank you!

Oh, and sorry for the giant quote mess ^^^up there^^^. I was in a hurry. Whoops! :blush:

 

Our boys (well, the little ones) always talk about boobs. They put balls under their shirts and say, "yook I got boobs just yike you mommy!" Blake once said to me, "mommy, I like your boobs, where you buy them?" Being the only chick in the house is fascinating to them, and I'm okay with that (well, most of the time...I don't need a diplomatic envoy to the bathroom). Their favorite thing to say is, "I'm just like you, mommy!" In this house, very few topics are off limits to the boys and we're fairly laid back. But, when they cross the line, we discuss it and that's that. As a parent, we just have to draw those lines ourselves. I mean, not everyone is comfortable with their three year old stripping down to his bare little hiney, prancing out into the kitchen and yelling, "hey everyone, look at my butt!" So, there's my $1.50 on that...

 

I kind of understand what you are saying Cheryl. It's all about what we, as parents, find acceptable to say.

For me, I don't mind the word boobs. In fact, I prefer it to breast, because for some odd reason, the word "breast" gives me the willies. I seriously have a hard time saying the word. But, on the other hand, I do not allow my children to use several words their friends are allowed to use. Such as "fart, suck, stupid and dumb". I hate the way those words sound coming out of a child's mouth.

 

ITA!

 

I am sure he IS a great kid, and I wasn't trying to imply otherwise. I just find it hard to believe that a 9 year old boy is always prim and proper and aware of all of the rules when he is away from you. It goes back to the majority of these posts - I would never think that you would get a note that your son said "boob" or anything similar because the teachers and other parents simply wouldn't get that it was note-worthy or offensive. I know you said you are done so I don't expect a reply - I just felt the hostility and wanted to respond that I am not judging your child or your parenting style, just making a comment that although he knows that he should please you and not say certain things in front of you, interpersonal relationships and the "rules" of those communications are different in different situations.

Oh, and just another one of MY opinions - willy is way more offensive than boob and I don't think I would know what to call my breasts or any other body part if I was your child!

 

I think its funny that we all have what we consider appropriate. I will never forget when my oldest son was about a year old I heard my mother in law bathing him and she said "okay Jack time to wash your little pecker"....seriously....who in the heck calls their little thing a pecker????? OMG I almost died...had to tell her right away I couldn't handle that one. It was obviuosly fine with her but holy cow I didn't want my little boy running around talking about his pecker!!! But boobs...yeah we laugh about boobs. I too...would get weirded out if my boy used the word breasts...I don't know...too grown up of a word for me to hear coming out of a kids mouth.

 

Definitely too grown up of a word coming out of a child's mouth in my opinion. But of course, I have a young sense of humor, like an 11 year old's.

I'm sorry momotwinsmom (I can't remember your name right now) but I think it's hilarious when Alice farts, and then says, "I farted mommy." And she talks about her boobies. We were at my SIL's house Sunday and Alice farted, and my SIL asked her if she tooted. Alice looked at her very seriously (as only a 2 1/2 year old can do) and said, "no anbecca (Aunt Rebecca), I farted." :rotflmbo:

Are boobies an acceptable term? I don't like breasts, it's too formal and reminds me of chicken, takes all the fun out of language. But of course, I like colorful, flamboyant language and don't get embarassed or upset when I hear words in public either.

 

This thread is being closed at the request of the OP.