They are making me crazy!

I don't even know where to start. I guess basically it boils down to two things. They do everything they can to bug each other for the sole pleasure of bugging each other and they absolutely don't listen to me. I don't even have to go into the details of the bugging each other as I'm sure you have all experienced it but it seems freaking non-stop lately. My mind can't even come up with solutions/repercussions fast enough before the next one happens. I also really hate when something happens and I don't know who the instigator is - I hate the idea of making the "innocent" one suffer for what the other one did.

And the not listening. Well, I'm a big believer in natural consequences both because I don't have the energy to keep on fighting with them and it seems reasonable to me...and time outs haven't worked because they don't seem to care much. So today in the pool when Elias continued to splash in the toddler pool right close to the little babies and I gave him more than enough warnings, I picked him up and took him home. Of course, poor Ezra was ripped off from his pool play time which was just so unfair. There are so many rules in the house that as soon as I take away the possibility of them breaking one (like taking away milk if they spill it on purpose) they just find some other rule to break.

Is this developmentally normal? And when does it change? I went through a couple of months where it was so beautiful because their language is great and their imagination is wild and we just had so much fun playing but the last couple of months have been hell.

Everybody would tell me when they were babies that it would get easier. I didn't have any problems when they were babies (they were good sleepers which I know helped). this, on the other hand, is a different story. When does it get easier again?

 

I feel for you!!! I soooo remember 2.5 - 3 yr. being VERY difficult!!! Hang in there, for me things really did improve after they turned 3!!!

 

This was a bad phase for us, too. I remember this as being the time when we had to tell the entire family that we couldn't participate in a new formal family portrait because we would ruin it. Also the period when we just didn't dare to go out to a restaurant. And, definitely the time when I wished they would still have used the stroller because they didn't understand about staying in the cart.

So, yes, I remember this as clearly being a phase of independence and boundary testing. And it's boundaries on a whole new level. I used to joke that DS spent half of his awake time in time outs. You have to do it and yes, the "innocent' one does suffer and it is hard, but you HAVE TO DO IT! I learned that the tables do turn and the bad one becomes the good one. At some point, very small rewards for very small periods of good behavior will make you feel less like the "no" mom and more like the good witch. lol

 

I'd like to think this is just a stage. Right now the not listening and being stubborn and contrary is driving me crazy! :gah:

 

Thanks guys. It does help just to know that they are doing what's normal and will probably turn into lovely children again at some point. Would love to hear more stories (with happy endings) too.

Buttercup - When are your girls' birthday? It looks from our tickers like they are exactly the same age give or take a day. Mine are June 5.

 

They'll be 3 on June 8, so yes they are very close in age! Also, I can totally relate to Wendy as well, we had to stop taking the girls to restaurants after the last 2 times were disasters.

It is good to hear other people going through the same thing. It makes me feel less like I'm a terrible parent and more that this is just a stage.

 

This age has proven to be *very* hard. :faint:

I laugh when people ask me if it is easier now that they aren't infants. Ha. Easier as far as getting to sleep through the night, but I'm afraid that's about it. :lol:

 

Our last few times taking the girls to restaurants have been horrible too! Glad to know we're not alone!

 

Daycare ?? I looked into daycare when I had my third child and now I wish they could go 3 days a week. Right now I have one going 2 days and the other child only one day most weeks -- since she has doctor appt. I find it helps to burn off energy and gives them independence from each other. PLUS I love having the odd day where I only have 2 children -- but you'd have one. You might find it will help you to "teach" them more since you will be one-on-one. You could try two days a week for one child and then the other child does two days a week the following week. Or a short-term baby sitter ? Sometimes I think we need time to be a "mom" instead of being a mom of twins. Trust me, even with one two year old and my now 11 month old, it is much easier than having both twins running in two different directions. I love seeing the independence from each other.

The other option would be to find ways to take them out individually like say after your dh comes home, or the weekends, or if grandparents can help out for a few hours. Take one to the grocery store with the sole purpose to "teach" them on how to behave.

Mine are 2.5 right now (born Nov. 17) and while I have mentioned the above it is getting harder to go out with them and I can see me going out less and less due to the hassles.

Heather

 

I just found a preschool for my boys and was planning to start them in September, but now I'm thinking next month (not kidding). One is mostly well-behaved but the other is completely freaking nuts right now! It's very demanding, and I really hope that it's not a sign of what's in store over the next year.

Interestingly, I got the rare chance to take just one of them (the badly behaved one) to the store with me, one-on-one, and he was GREAT! Okay, not GREAT, but very good, compared to his usual... so, even though I don't have 2 constant little terrors, I definitely think the twin dynamic exacerbates the worse qualities in at least one of my boys.

I'll be so glad when my perfect angels emerge at age 4 (that's what happens, right?! ).

 

You are not alone.

I would agree with everyone that right around the 3 year mark was hard for us. Well, some days we have gleaming moments of peace. We do 1-2-3 Magic and it really started working toward the end of the second year. Now, most times I get to 2 and they know they need to stop what they are doing or give back the toy they just stole. It will get better. We are in a decent stage right now. But that might change tomorrow or even today. The day is still young! :faint:

 

I'll chime in! Mine will be three in June as well (17th) and we've been at it for the past few months. Our biggest issue is that they don't listen to ANYTHING I say. I am tired beyond belief of giving the whole, I'll say it nicely one more time and then....Honestly, sometimes I don't even know what is to follow "and then". Maybe, "and then I'm going to go make myself a gin and tonic"??? Or "and then I'm going to scream it while throwing myself out the window"??? Seriously running out of concsequences. Yesterday I just couldn't take it anymore so in the middle of their screaming match I quietly excused myself from their room then let out a pretty ugly word once I got out of their hearing range. It actually helped. SO yeah, that's my suggestion for getting past this. It's gonna have to tide me over until we hit 3 at least . No, you're not alone.

 

:rotflmbo:

I am right there with you all. The last several weeks have been HORRIBLE! Especially with the fighting, screaming matches and just driving each other bonkers. They are driving me bonkers!! I am seriously considering enrolling them in a summer's mothers day out program. I just need a break. :aggressive:

 

I just had a terrible day -- one tantrum so bad she was literally foaming at the mouth. Wild wild temper tantrums, she is just unreal. She was fighting and trying to hit me while I was locking her in her carseat.

Heather

 

You SAHM blow me away. How you can deal with age/phase every day all day amazes me. There have been many times that going to work in the morning has made me so sad but not lately!! This past Monday morning, I was out the door like a shot. When I am home, however, I am with them alone as I'm single but it's still not 7 days a week. Hats off to you guys.

 

:rotflmbo: :laughing: I needed that laugh!

I'm right there with you ladies, but I will say that we've had a lot of nice weather lately and getting outside and running and playing is helping A LOT around here. It's also an excellent bargaining piece: If you walk with Mommy and behave you can play outside in the sandbox when we get home. I hope it continues to work!

 

I need to go back to work, I'm not cut out for this.