Diaper Free from Birth

Hello Everyone,

We started talking about this in the breastfeeding forum. My post started out asking about sleeping through the night. Then took a turn and started talking about different theories about train children to go diaper free from birth!

I am totally interested in this topic. Both EC and ideas from the "Potty Whisperer".

My first question is are you doing it?
Please exlplain the theory.
Does it seem to work?
How do you get started?

My boys are 5 months and I have a 2-1/2year old still in diapers. If I can reduce this cost even a little bit I would be grateful.

Thank you!
Mishelle

 

I started looking into it recently, but have not started trying it yet. I just checked out the book Diaper Free Baby, which is really interesting and easy to read. I think we will try part-time EC.


The theory is basically that your child will give cues when they are about to go. You just have to learn how to read the cues. Some people say this is "parent training." But proponents of EC argue that we parents read our children's cues when they need to nap, need downtime, or need to eat for example, and we don't consider that parent training. EC applies much of the same theories that we apply when reading our children's cues in other aspects of life. When we see they are probably about to go you just take them to the toilet. The theory goes that they learn from a young age about the potty. That does not mean they don't use diapers...it just means that if they see the baby about to go they take the baby to the potty and let them do their pottying there rather than in their diaper. You talk to the baby about the potty, maybe use the ASL sign, etc.

Another part of the theory is that children who always go in their diapers will eventually become "diaper-trained." Meaning, they become very used to going in their diapers and takes a long time to unlearn that. So the theory goes that they learn from an early age that potty goes in the toilet (even if they are unable to do it all by themselves for quite some time). A lot of ECers use cloth diapers because it does not wick the moisture away in the same way a disposable does, therefore the baby can feel the sensation of being wet or dirty. Some babies are bothered by this sensation and some are not so much.

EC is not a new new thing. It is practiced by many people all over the world, especially in areas where disposable diapers are not so easy to come by.

It's also not an all or nothing deal. We plan to try part-time EC and just see how it goes. The first step is just to learn more about when your kids tend to go and what non verbal cues they give before going. Some babies give more cues than others. It does not involve putting pressure on the kids to use the potty or anything like that.

I will let you know how it goes! Like I say, I only plan to do it part time and just see how it works out and see if my boys are receptive to it. I already know their poop signals (it's pretty obvious grunts, etc---lol!), but I have no idea when they tend to pee or how they signal that. So I am going to start by giving them some diaper free time and watching for how they behave before they pee and see if they are giving any signals.

I have a friend who has done it, and she has had some hits and some misses. Regression is common with EC----just like anything else I suppose.

I am excited to hear someone else hear is thinking of doing it.

The book Diaper Free Baby is probably the best place to start to learn more. It's very easy to read and filled with great information that will help you get started.

Hope that helps!

 

Try www.diaperfreebaby.com

A lot of info there!

 

Personally, I think this is a bunch of hooey. What it has done is train the parent, not teach the child anything.

 

I can understand why someone would think that. But people do actually do this and many find success with it. It is not for everyone, but just because it is not as common as other methods of toilet learning does not make it hooey. And people do this in other countries as well. So it's not "hooey." It's just different.

If you read my previous post, I noted that many people would consider this "parent training." I think that is a valid point. There is no doubt that what is happening, at least initially is that the parent is learning when to take their kids to the potty. But I think people who do EC don't think this is a bad thing. It's just a different approach to toilet learning. And once the parent has learn how to read the cues then they can cue the child as well.

And I think it all depends on what we mean when we say "parent-learning." As I mentioned earlier, most parents don't consider it "parent-training" when we read our child's cues that they are hungry and offer the breast or bottle. We don't consider it parent training when we see that our kids are over stimulated or sleepy and put them to bed. We simply see it as responding to their cues. We don't wait until they are old enough that they can ask to go to bed. We just read their cues that they need to take a nap and we help them facilitate sleep. In a similar way, EC is just another form of reading a baby's cues and responding to these cues in much the same way as we do in other aspects of their lives.

I think, for some reason, this topic is controversial. I remember a thread related to EC on this board before (actually where I started to learn about EC was from that thread), and people got really upset. I personally don't think EC is BETTER than traditional methods used in the US. It's just different. I think, unfortunately, that sometimes when people talk about EC there sometimes seems to be this subtext among some proponents of EC that EC is somehow better and that waiting until a child PTs on their own is bad. And that's a shame that the dialog can sometimes be like that.

But at the same time I think there are a lot of people who automatically think EC can not possibly work just because it's different from what we typically do here in the U.S. At the expense of being repetitive, just because something is outside the norm does not make it "hooey."

I have not personally done EC yet. I have just researched it. I have no idea if it will work for us. I just want to try it. And we are just starting part time. From what I have read, it works really well for some folks. For other people it just does not work. I have no idea which camp I will fall into, but I figure it's worth a shot. My guess is that like all methods for toilet learning this method will probably work really well for some kids and not as well for others.

But I really do think it's unfair to label it as "hooey." People do this all over the world. It's just not as common here.

 

I'm intrigued, & my DH is VERY on board, but I'm reticent to try it with twins. There were a couple of things I wanted to try with a baby, but find too hard with 2, like no sippies- just cup training. We do CD, b/c my DH is very environmentally conscious & they are EBF, but I just don't feel like it's something I want to invest the time in.

Good luck with it- I have a lot of respect for those that do it.

 

1. My husband and I and several of my girlfriends practice EC! We all still use cloth and/or disposable diapers. We are able to "save" diapers by continuing to use those that haven't been soiled.

2. I agree with everything GandEmom wrote - very nicely summarized.

3. It works for us. My girls are 2 weeks old today and we've probably saved about 4-5 diapers a day since we started on Day 5.

4. I started by talking with my girlfriends who already practice it, then doing some web research (links below), and then jumping in. We take our girls to the toilet in our bathroom upon waking up, pre-feed, and post-feed to catch what we catch. They are still so young; we'll get to know their schedules and cues as time progresses. My girlfriends started ECing their infants at between 3 and 6 months; they also started by taking them to the potty upon waking up, pre-feed, and post-feed and observing their patterns.

Infant Potty Training (I love this link because she's very casual and flexible about the approach.)
Getting Started (This site, which was also recommended by the PP, includes a lot of excellent detail.)
Potty Supplies (I bought and initially used the blue infant potty bowl, but after watching videos on YouTube, we now use our home toilet. Perhaps we'll use the potty bowl on outings - we'll see.)

Search YouTube for Elimination Communication to find videos of potty options and holds for different age ranges. This one of a 14 month old is good to keep ya motivated. This one of a 5 week old shows a hold similar to what we use (although we sit in the reverse direction).

Whatever you decide, good luck! Let me know if you have more questions.

 

Team Turner---Wow! I am impressed! That's really cool. And thanks for all those great links!

Cheezewiz24---I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to invest time in it. I am not totally sure it is something I will really want to invest time in either. And If I were not a SAHM mom I would probably never consider it. But I just thought I would give it whirl this week and just see how things go. According to what I read in Diaper Free Baby, lots of people just do it part-time and have some success. So that's my goal is just to do it part of the time.

Yesterday I started by giving them some diaper free time and just observing and making the cue sound when they peed. They LOVED the diaper free time. I took a waterproof pad and just put it on the floor and let them lay there without a diaper and they seemed to think it was a new game or something. It was very cute.

 

Maybe hooey wasn't the best choice of words. I don't have time (nor admittedly the patience) for "parent training" with taking care of a very active 3 almost 4 year old, and homeschooling my 11 and 8 year olds.

 

Thanks for the pointers….
Here is my up-date:

This is difficult.

I am working on potty training my 2-1/2 year old. We are part-time going diaper free. I have potties set up around the house, but he still seems to prefer to go in his diaper. He even went on my hardwood floor, just 10’ away from the potty! I am constantly asking him if he has to go and trying to get him to sit on the potty every hour or so. I am hoping he will start becoming more and more aware that he has to go. I do agree with something I read on EC….that was we train our kids to go in diapers…..making it sometimes difficult to get them to go on the potty.

As for my 5 months old twin boys ….well this is part-time too. I tried to get them to go when they woke up, before they ate, and after they ate. No luck! I tried with one…letting him go diaper free after a feeding. I was watching closely for the “cues??” and nothing for about 1/2hour. Then I went to get lunch together for my 2-1/2 year old. I came back only minutes later and well it was a miss. ( I guess my "cue" is that he is shy )I am going to keep trying part-time for awhile……but I am not sure I am going to be able to get this “cue” thing down only doing this part-time.
Any thoughts?

Mishelle

 

Well, I am far from an expert because I just started this myself, but I can tell you what I have been doing (as per the suggestion in the book Diaper Free Baby), and it is working well so far. I am only trying it once or twice a day and picking times that I think they are most likely to need to pee. There is a list in the book of great times to start tying to "catch" pees, such as right after a nap or right after a feeding. Not all babies pee then but many do.

So, for example, after their naps or after a feeding I would typically change their diapers anyway. So rather than put a new one on immediately, I just leave the diaper off, sit them on a waterproof pad, give them a toy, and then when they pee I make the "sssssshhhh" sound, and then say something like "lookey there! You peed!" (or something like that--lol). They usually pee within minutes of their diaper being taken off. I catch/soak up the pee with a cloth diaper insert, and then wipe them down if I need to and let them go back to playing. After a while (anywhere from 10-30 mins)I just put their diaper back on and go on about my day like normal.
So far it is not really taking up too much time, and they seem to really enjoy the naked time.

I think what I will do next is buy some of those baby potties and leave them sitting right beside the changing table and rather than sitting them on the waterproof pad after a nap I will just sit them on the baby potties since I already know from just two days of observation they almost always go shortly after waking. Then I will put their diaper on and go about the day as usual.

I am going to try and keep as low-key as I can.

I think you would really like the book Diaper Free Baby by Christine Gross-Loh.
The more I read it the more I realize it does not have to be very time consuming if it is just done part time. The book has helped me understand that it does not have to be an all or nothing deal. So I just decided on a goal of doing it part time. This means they will still be in diapers most of the time, but it will also expose them to the potty very early and will save me some time washing diapers! haha. If it goes well I might try doing it more often, but I am not sure about that yet.

She point out in the book that the tern "diaper free" does not mean no diapers at all. It just means that the child learns from a very young age that they can potty in places besides just their diaper. It's an easy read and very interesting. Here's a link to the book:

http://www.amazon.com/Diaper-Free-Baby-Natural-Training-Alternative/dp/0061229709

 

I just reread your previous post and saw that you said you tried right after a nap.

From what I gather from the suggestions in the book, early on it's more about trying to figure out their timing rather than looking for any kind of real obvious body language clues. So, the idea is that babies will usually have semi-predictable times they eliminate and you just start with catching those. So, first I would not worry about catching the pees but rather just mentally noting when they typically pee (30 mins after nap, etc). Then you can move from observation to catching, if that makes sense.

I have missed a few too. I just try and treat it all as an experiment and not worry too much about the outcome. That is helping me...or at least it is at this point. haha.

 

So yesterday morning my 6 1/2 mo old went potty in the potty for the first time. As I said earlier, my DH is very interested in EC and yesterday morning the boys woke up at 6:30 as per usual. We each start changing our babies and I commented that Orion was still dry and I wanted to leave him in his diaper for a couple of minutes. DH grabbed him, stood his feet on the toilet seat and waited maybe 3 minutes. It worked and PS Orion might be Ben's favorite for a while (just kidding!).

 

Thanks GandEmom!

I needed that.....I am going to work on just observing for a week, then give this a try again.

Mishelle

 

I think its a great idea!!! I have a couple of friends who have done this. The first one had trained her daughter by the time she was 6 or 9 mo. old and she was diaper free. the other trained a little after that. now that boy is 19 or so months old and he is totally potty trained. I didn't have the energy to attempt it when our twins were younger.

I do have pretty good luck with my feeble attempts to catch my son after a nap or upon wake up in the morning, and we take him to the bathroom and most times he'll pee. so cute!!

I did the same thing, one day, changed his cloth diaper and realized it was dry! woo hoo... that's when I realized he can hold it, and I've been trying to give him the cue "ssssss" noise when we try him on the potty. I've even caught him squatting and saying "ssssss"... we're not really trying EC, but looking more to potty training at this age.

good luck to those trying this!!!

 

I realize that this website is heavy on acronyms...but after reading this entire thread I still have NO idea what "EC" stands for. The thread is about practicing "diaper free" from "birth"...Not a single word there starts with E or C so maybe somebody familiar with this subject can explain things.

I apparently have a whole lot of learning to do. After months of neither boy peeing on me during a diaper change (baths are a different story!) both have nailed me this week while up on the diaper changing table. At the time I was looking at their face and eyes and talking/cooing to them as usual, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but darned if their little sprinkler didn't just go off out of nowhere. So I guess I'm skeptical that I would ever be able to read their peepee cues. Though I do understand that part of the technique involves holding them over the toilet for 5 minutes or so after being fed sometimes...but I tend to prefer to snuggle with my boys after their morning bottle rather than do that. Also, their poop habits tend to shift and don't have a predictable pattern. A couple of months ago I could set my watch to when Brandon would pooh while taking his morning bottle. Then he went several weeks without going at all in the morning. Now he seems to poop during his morning bottle about 40% of the time, and in the afternoon the rest of the time. Definitely not a pattern overall though.

 

Mishelle - I wanted to add my support to what GandEmom wrote and recommended. I also wanted to clarify that it has worked so well for us because all newborns do is sleep, eat, pee and/or poo, snuggle, sleep, eat, pee and/or poo... and so on. So, it's pretty easy to set them over the potty and catch something! But my girlfriends who started just a few months later spent longer on the potty and on their observation periods. Way to go for trying this and keep it up!

Cheesewhiz24 - Congratulations!!!!!

Vtlakey - EC stands for Elimination Communication.