How do you discipline a 1 year old!

I’m starting to think I am raising a sociopath! My DD goes after my DS all the time now. Any chance she gets to pull his hair, she does it. I take her hand (after removing all my son’s hair from it) and tell her no. She then smiles, laughs and goes after his hair again! I try to giver her something else to distract her, but nothing works. Last time we went grocery shopping I had to take my son out of the grocery cart to protect him from his sister. My DH said to put his hat on, but I’m wondering if anyone else has any other solutions.

 

They have a very short memory, no impulse control, and no concept of another person's feelings. "NO!" firmly for the worst of it (try not to overuse or it loses it's power) and redirection are all we used at that age. It can be exhausting but they will gain skills over the next year that make a world of difference so try to be patient while they figure it out.

 

What has worked (somewhat) for us is to teach an "alternative" behavior such as modeling "gentle" with a nice, easy stroke/touch. It does not cut out all of the hitting and hair pulling that goes on but at an early age they seem to want the attention/reaction that the negative behavior brings and praising the "positive" behavior works to a degree. But I agree, it is exhausting and you have to keep working at it.

 

I totally agree with the "gentle" in a calm voice. Positive re-direction is a big part of it. Keep her hands busy with a snack or a toy but at this age they just don't understand. It is a phase and she will soon understand but until then I think talking to her about it and overly praising her for the good, nice behavior. Good luck!

 

At that age, the only thing that sort of works is redirection. I would just tell them "No" and redirect. They will get it eventually.

 

I agree with telling her to "be gentle" and just staying with it. Whenever my girls did this to each other, I would say, "no, be gentle" and take her hand and rub her sister's hair with it so she could feel what be gentle meant. It took lots of times doing this, but it eventually clicks.

 

Ditto this...

...and this.

I also think the hat is a good idea! :lol: (At least for situations like sitting in the grocery cart so that you can focus more on the shopping and less on the constant "gentle"/no/redirecting)

 

The PPs had great suggestions. :good: When the boys hit (usually me), we take their hands, and use them to gently pat or stroke my arm while saying "nice". Sometimes they will come up now out of the blue and pat me or their brother and say "niiiiiice".

And your DD is not a sociopath! Toddlers love to get a reaction, even if it's "OUCH"! I try not to react when they hit, but that's impossible for your DS, so redirect/model, again and again and again and again....

 

My girls have heard "be gentle" so much in regards to the dog, if they seem to start getting aggressive with each other, I say be gentle, and they'll start petting each other! :rotflmbo:

(that doesn't always work, but always makes me snicker when it does!)