Getting Nervous about BF

Alright a little about me first, I am 32 weeks and one day with identical twin girls, I am started to get nervous since I am now measuring at full term. I really really want to BF. I am not very modest and dont care really who I have my boobs out infront of (sorry if TMI) like with girl friends or my mom or my sister but there is something about my MIL and her friends/family being around me when I am BF. My MIL does not work and she is going to be the one who is keeping the twins after I eventually go back to work. I know she will want to be over and help out after we come home from the hospital but I DONT want to BF infront of heror her friends that have offered to come over and help. How do I go about working this out? My finace is a big TIME mommas boy and if i say anything negative about her or anything he freaks. Or if i try and tell him im nervous about BF and all that he says we are def. going to make it work( but i donthink he understands all of it) he just wants me to BF because its cheaper and healthier for the girls.
how do i go about BF when people are there---i feel bad asking them to leave the room--but hen again at the same time am i going to need help getting them to latch on and what not?>! Exp. when/ if it just me and my MIL at the house--do i tell her to leave the rooom?i feel bad. its not like its just one baby and i can put something over me...any one have this issue?
also any one have any tips for BF for the first time ever and with twins..im nervous --just want it to work out---but i dont even know where to begin--im going to get that double blessings pillow that they can lay on--any other things that are good?! when can i start using pump?! any information offered would be a great HELP! tHANKS!

 

I've successfully used a nursing cover to tandem nurse with in front of my MIL. I also use it to single nurse each of them in public.

https://www.uddercovers.com/ With the coupon code "choice2" all you pay for is the 9.95 shipping. I got mine no problem. A few people on the moms board I'm on didn't receive theirs, contacted the company and received a replacement order right away. And I paid through paypal - so I have no concerns about entering credit card information.

I'm a terrible pumper - so no advice there I've got the EZ2 Nurse Pillow and they fit great.

Good luck and it'll all work out!

 

I'd say the same thing.

to tandem nurse - so that it will take a shorter amount of time, and its more efficient.
also to use a cover, it hopefully won't be as uncomfortable as you think!

any amount of breastfeeding you can do is a wonderful gift to your babies!

 

I only nursed in front of my mom. If others were over when I needed to nurse, I excused myself and the babies and I left the room to find a private spot. If you are in your bedroom, then of course it's perfectly acceptable for you to tell whomever is there to please give you some privacy and quite while you nurse your daughters. I really can't see how anyone would be offended. Quite frankly, they will probably be happy to leave because many people are uncomfortable watching others nurse -- especailly if you are tandem nursing because you will definitely be on display! Once you get the hang of nursing, you won't need an extra set of hands to help tandem. Until then, you can have your fiance help. You don't have to say anything negative. Just tell him and you future MIL that you are modest! It's perfectly acceptable!

 

If you really don't want to nurse around your MIL you will probably have to plan on hibernating in your room or not having her in the house for the first 6 weeks. Honestly, my little ones nurse so much in the first 3 weeks that I feel like they are hooked up more than they are not. Seriously. And in the beginning it's very hard to be modest about it...you may actually need help hooking them up if you are tandem feeding them, especially in the beginning when they are so small. But the good thing is that birth has a way of knocking out all remaining modesty from mothers. You'll find yourself in the hospital letting a total stranger, a nurse, grab your breast to help hook up a baby! And it won't bother you as much letting it all hang out for your MIL. She'll get over it or she'll go away. Honestly, it never bothers me until about a year later when I remember how much I sat around and nursed in front of people! LOL.

My MIL is a very modest person, and she never bf any of her kids... but I've still nursed around her. I do attempt to cover up around men and around my grandmother, LOL...wouldn't want to send her to an early grave...she had her babies in the era where women were told that formula was better! So if you plan on nursing on the couch in the early days, plan on some exposure...and hope that your MIL doesn't make a big deal out of it.

Honestly, the bigger problem you will have is going to be the comments... "Oh they are still nursing??... they are still hungry"... "Are they getting enough?" For moms who simply don't remember how much babies nurse in the beginning or who have never nursed at all don't realize that babies frequently nurse round the clock in the beginning. And a lot of our mother's generation were taught to put the babies on a schedule from the beginning. Nowadays we know better...trying to schedule too much will impede your supply in the first few weeks. So nurse on demand and be confident about it even when questioned by your mother or MIL.

 

Couldn't have said it better myself! My dad was the only person I felt uber uncomfortable with & avoided, but came out when they were like 2 months old. I needed help when they were tiny getting the second baby on the pillow. As to the MILs friends, I would ask DH or whoever to go with you into another room so you can feed them. Just graciously excuse yourself like you would if you have to go to the bathroom at a restaurant with people you don't know well.

But, like Susanna said, modesty quickly goes out the window. My boobs were OUT in the hospital ALL the time b/c they were eating 1 at a time & I pumped.

Good luck!

 

And the funniest thing about the hospital is when you are nursing with no concern for modesty and a janitor or the pediatrician walks in and gets super embarassed!! I've never understood how many peds can be embarassed by a nursing mother...you'd think they would see it all the time?!!

Honestly, I never sit in a bathroom nursing even at a restaurant... I just cover baby up with a blanket. Granted, I've never tandem nursed twins past 7 weeks... so that would be much more awkward in a restaurant!

 

I freaked out a ped in the hospital, too!

Yeah, I'm not going to sit on a crapper for 1/2 hr, either. The car is good, dressing rooms are good, & most recently a Texas Roadhouse was good (freaked out the waiter). Expressiva.com has really nice nursing shirts which I wear when out in public, although the boys now think it's a game to expose me, so I may have to get a cover.

 

I'm with Susan. Hopefully, you will find it natural and not be nearly as uncomfortable as you think. I never had a cover, but my Maya Wrap is great for descrit nursing. I also found it best to wear a small t-shirt with a large loose button down shirt open on top of it. That way you can easily lift up the tshirt, but the button down shirt still gives great coverage--you can even tuck a newborn back inside one of the sides.

Good luck with your delivery! Won't be long now.

 

I loved in loose t-shirts so that the fabric hugged me and the babies when I nursed. At first I was modest, asking people to leave in the hospital, but I overcame that fast! I would try to have a quiet place that you could retreat to when you need to feed them.

• Get help from the nurses at the hospital!
• Ask questions
• Start pumping at the hospital, after your feeding sessions.
• Get a support group of people around you. It's hard to breastfeed when people don't support you.

Good luck!

 

I felt a little nervous around my MIL at first, but she's a mom too and anymore I whip them out with very little issue. I tandem nurse 99% of the time, and Target actually carries a $12 nursing cover that works really well. It actually goes all the way around and helps to keep both babies a little better covered. I think the biggest key with nursing is just being committed to doing it. There may be rough patches, but if you can stick it out it is very worth your while. http://www.target.com/First-Years-Breast-Feed-Nursing/dp/B000A40WEK/ref=br_1_6?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&searchView=grid5&searchNodeID=383822011&node=383822011&sr=1-6&searchRank=pmrank&searchPage=1&searchSize=30&id=First%20Years%20Breast%20Feed%20Nursing&qid=

 

I've had to bf my twins with my father and brother in the room. Sometimes I used a nursing cover or a receiving blanket to cover up. Then I discovered it was so much easier to wear a baggy top along with a bella band. I was more concerned about flashing my flabby post-twins tummy than about flashing a boob Sometimes instead of a bella band, I used a stretchy very fitted camisole/tank top thing pushed down below my breasts. Both worked very well.

 

one other thing I wanted to say was to make sure to not compromise your breastfeeding or pumping because of being embarrassed or uncomfortable. if you do, you will sabatoge your supply. a friend of mine with twins only pumped 4 times a day!! and was feeding her babies 8 times a day. hence her supply never really supported twins.

anyway, I hope you are able to find the perfect way to feed the babies and maintain your sanity!

 

I was nervous at first around the inlaws, but I found they would excuse themselves when they felt uncomfortable... you are the most important person to the twins the first while so you have to be comfortable. Express your concern that BF'ing in front of people makes you a little uncomfortable and let them do the moving around, not you! Whenever I said that the babies were hungry my inlaws quickly found something else to do somewhere and it was no problem.

And yes, modesty does go out the window. I used a nursing cover for a while, but it was a bit fussy to use. Yesterday I found myself breastfeeding in line at Costco because I was stuck and a kid was flipping out.... I got more than a few stares, but whaddya gonna do? :lol:

 

that makes me smile! you go girl!

 

My dad was super uncomfortable when my oldest nephew was born, but 12 bfed grandchildren later he deals just fine! And my IL's always tried to get me to leave and go into a bedroom by myself to nurse.... so I made sure to sit right in the middle of the living room and nurse whenever I needed to!

I agree with not letting embarrassment keep you from nursing in the early days. You will be hanging out and need to be to figure it out. If your MIL and friends are there to help suggest laundry or making you some food while you nurse in private and then they can help change diapers and burp after.

I didn't start tandem nursing til my twins were 5 mos, and then at first only in front of my 3- and 5-year olds b/c I had to be basically topless to figure it out! Once I got the hang of it, I found the pillow (EZ2Nurse) covers a lot (like my stomach...so true that I was more self-conscious about that than my breasts!), and I would throw a blanket over their heads if I was out and about somewhere and wanted to be discreet.

Whoever said to be CONFIDENT hit the nail on the head!! TELL your MIL that you need to nurse and could she please go clean the bathroom/empty the dishwasher/start dinner if you still feel uncomfortable with her in the room. Good luck with everything...you'll do great!

 

That reminds me that once I was in a COSTCO with a baby in my Maya Wrap, walking around, shopping and nursing. An older woman stopped me to as if I had a baby "in there" I said yes, and I'm nursing her!

 

This reminds me of my MIL a bit. Just the other day she asked me 'when are you going to introduce the bottle?' And I said, 'Probably never.' And she said,' But what if he won't take it later?' and I said, 'So what?' I never gave my last dd a bottle, she just went right to the sippy cup!!

I think my MIL doesn't get it because her dd pretty much bailed on her last two bfing experiences. She had nursed her first dd until like 3 years, then her next child until 4 months with lots of supplementing, and her last child until 2 months with lots of supplementing. She just didn't feel like bfing, and she also was so parinoid that they wouldn't take a bottle later that she introduced it early and often which caused her not to produce as much...and that was totally fine, her decision, I don't condemn that at all. But now my MIL finds it hard to believe that I don't feel the same way. My feelings are that I'm with this child 99.9% of the time and nursing is so much more convenient for me. I'm not going to introduce a bottle just so she can have a chance to cuddle with him for a feeding. She can use the spoon for him at about 6 months if she wants to! Anyway, my SIL's love for her independence has made my MIL amazed that I don't also have the same feelings. Unless something happens to physically prevent my being with him...and that would have to be an emergency or tragedy.... he'll be ebf until I introduce a sippy around 11months. Three out of my five kids have had some level of bottle supplementing, but I have to work so hard to make nursing work I'm thrilled that my last baby and this baby haven't needed any bottles. It's a proud accomplishment for me since I had to supplement my first 3!

 

Actually, I think that's backwards. With my twins, we had to pack a giant bag to go anywhere. A thermos of hotwater, the can of formula, bottles, etc. now I just grab my sling and a couple of diapers and I'm out the door. Much more independant without bottles in my life! (And don't forget the washing and sterilizing of those darn things. I'm glad I don't have to try to fit that into my day right now.)

 

I only have a singleton, but I love my pashmina scarf as a BF coverup! Comfy and stylish to wear around, and spreads right out for coverage! Plus because it's so long, I don't have to worry about it sliding away (other end is around my neck) while nursing.

Ok, maybe I'll look funny in July...