"I don't care!"

So, we have entered the phase of "I don't care" when it comes to consequences for bad behavior. I'm sure I can't be the only one. How have you approached this? Do you keep trying different things until you finally find the thing they do "care" about? This is driving me nuts!

 

I think the trick to make sure that it's a natural consequence for whatever offense they've committed. Note I say "think" b/c we def. do not have this down yet. But, for instance tonight Gabe kept getting up from the table at dinner and after the 3rd time, we said if you get up again dinner is over for you. Next thing you know he's up. So, his McD's gets thrown out and what do you know he didn't eat enough for dessert. He was MAD! Then Abby started the same thing and DH said to her "if you get up, that means you are done. Remember what happened to Gabe". The girl gets up and looks at him. And then when he takes her food away she throws a fit b/c she "wasn't done" and wanted her treat. Today she didn't follow direction to wait at the door to get in and instead pushed ahead and knocked DH's drink over and it spilled all the down the garage steps. Her punishment was that she had to go get $1 to pay him back. We've been doing more Love and Logic and removing them from the situation and really trying to work on our consistency and follow through. If I say "no snacks later if you don't eat your meal" all the begging in the world isn't going to change my mind before bed eventhough it may break my heart (and I've given in in the past). I think it can be all about finding "their currency" as I've heard and maybe take away favorite toys, outside time, cut off 5 mins. at bedtime, etc. Mine love their blankies and I've taken those away on occasion for really bad things. I wish we could all be given a manual when they are born and have it work for our kids.

ETA: The "I don't care's" drive me insane too! It makes me want to say "Oh yeah, I can find something that'll make you care." lol

 

I usually say, I'm sorry to hear that but you're still going to time-out (that is usually when mine say that) and I just ignore them and continue with the punishment because even though they say they don't care, they usually do care.

 

I act like I don't hear them saying it.

 

We haven't dealt with this yet, but this is how I think I'd handle it.