::headbang::

Raise your hand if you knew what would happen if you opened this thread!

(ooh, call me!)

I'm sorry that you don't qualify for some sort of assistance. I'm sure there are plenty of families who find themselves in that same boat these days. The system is overloaded with claims right now. Some legit, some not and I can understand your frustration in this situation. Really so many of us are fortunate that our husbands are still employed in this economy.

You have options. They aren't fun options, but they're available to you if you just put forth the effort and put the needs of your children ahead of your own. Internet is free at the library, the car seats can be sold to temporarily give you some extra cash, you can have a small garage sale, go down to one cell phone, cut back on your cable/satellite package, have your DH look for jobs in other states or pick up a part time job when his schedule allows you to. What you could potentially lose for a few months or years will be gained back easily because you're both still young. Eventually, your boys will either outgrow and overcome their feeding issues or they will be lessened in time with a change in lifestyle and dietary habits. Until then, your job is to do whatever it takes to make ends meet and give them what they need. It's what we do, like it or not.

If you aren't willing to do those things, then I have a hunch that you're probably not quite as desperate as you claim.

 

There is offering support and then there is enabling unhealthy behavior.
I'll be the first to admit, I don't know anyone on here in real life or what their life struggles really are. Kristine, you seem to often contradict yourself in regards to the feeding difficulties of the boys and the story gets so much more dramatic as we go. There have been a lot of people offering support and advice but you can't stand those people. You seem to feed off of all the "Oh hon, you poor thing, oh how awful for you" comments.
BTW, I stand by my original opinion in regards to the original post.

 

I don't post much on here although I am so thankful for all the tips, suggestions, advice and stories that people have shared during the 15 or so months that I have been on this site. I have been reading this thread with interest and I am curious about one thing: Kristine, you mentioned you can't work because you are diabled? Are you collecting disability? If not, why not? It seems you are pretty good at finding resources out there for you. If you are collecting disability, does this not supplement your income similar to how a part-time job might?

 

:rotflmbo: :rotflmbo: :rotflmbo:

 

I thought I would go back and dissect haleystar's original post since it seemed to have set so many people off. I figure I must have missed something to illicit such strong replies.

Uh oh. You played the preemie card and clearly your boys weren't preemie enough to qualify. Sure they are technically preemie, but that doesn't matter.

Really?? There are moms elsewhere telling you that your boys don't have a problem and will correct itself? Because I recall numerous threads here where you were raked over the coals for supposedly not doing enough for your boys. Perspectives are a funny thing.

Ahem, only some people here can post about frustrations.

Careful admitting that an organization is helping you out. I think it is pretty apparent that you and your husband shouldn't qualify for any assistance.

Clearly the answer to all of your problems is to move to another state. For you to stay where you have roots and where you and DH have family is not important. But if you choose to stay, then just take out thousands of dollars in student loans so that your husband can become a paramedic. I'm sure it will be easy for him to fit time in for such classes while working FT and trying to help you out with the boys.

Sorry if my sarcasm turns people off. But the repeated snarky posts of others have turned me off.

 

Since personal finance seems to be a constant problem for you, you might want to consider learning a bit more about it. Your public library or a local community college might offer free classes on basic money management. And there are lots of good books on it that are a pretty easy read - Michelle Singletary comes to mind.

 

Lets talk special needs children....TRUE special needs children...my 9 year old nephew is legally blind, completely deaf in both ears and so severely autistic he is unable to communicate with the outside world...when your boys have that type of issue you can classify them as special needs...if you think they're so behind on their milestones why don't you contact EI? They will evaluate them for everything, physical, occupational and speech therapy (of which oral motor and feeding therapies apply)...

sorry about the pile up but take a step back please and re-read what you write....you will discover yourself a whole new perspective...

 

What? Your sarcasm might turn people off? Go figure.

First, nobody said any of the things you've posted up there. And absolutely nobody said anything about her children not being sick. There were comments that they don't qualify as "special needs" (and they don't), but no...no denial that there are feeding issues. There were comments that maybe she should gain some perspective and remember that her children are still relatively healthy and born at 35 weeks verses 29 weeks and comments about looking into the possibility of moving if their current living situation wasn't ideal (duh, most people would). But no it looks like you and everyone else are just reading a different thread.

Here's the thing. We've all be through this over and over again with her. The constant cries for help, the Special Olympics crack (yeah, not something easily forgotten, sorry), then the immediate "yeah but's" that come oh so quickly after one or two people come back with helpful replies, that are then followed by the "oh you've got it ALL wrong" and the backtracking on what she said, followed by what she "really" meant. It all adds up to the fact that Kristine wants NO actual help. Just room to whine and complain. It's been this way since her very first week in these forums. And frankly, it's gotten to the point where I begin to think that it's just pure entertainment for her.

I'm all for helping people when they need it. I'll hold hands and pat backs and give out some sympathy hugs but seriously at some point, it's time to stop the moaning and actually do something. People won't sugarcoat your crap forever. If you're not willing to get up and do something about it, well...sucks to be you.

 

Thanks newpairofschus for confirming that there really wasn't anything in this particular thread to draw such ire. As I suggested several posts back you and many others are still hanging on to what transpired a while ago. Haleystar agitated some folks, made a public apology, laid low for a while, then made the mistake of thinking she could make the occasional post again. Obviously, her mistake.

It is pretty obvious that some people here are never going to let the past be the past. They will ONLY post to take a jab at haleystar. I understand if they were irked by her previous posts and therefore they don't want to post helpful replies to her threads anymore. I say fine, let others respond to her threads instead. But I guess that is what I take issue with. So many posters seem to come out of the wood work not to post helpful comments to her threads, but to post snarky comments. Posters that rarely ever even post to FY, who seem to be motivated only to be hateful IMO. So 4lilmonkeys, you asked for those to raise their hand if they knew what would happen when opening this thread. Well duh. Of course this thread would turn ugly given the snarky replies to the original post. But instead of blaming the OP this time, you should be blaming yourself for the path this thread took.

 

Well, I think everyone's fresh out of ideas. I don't know what else to tell her, so yeah, my suggestion was for her DH to look elsewhere for a job, if his pay is so low that they can't even make ends meet. The only other thing I can think of is see if insurance will cover the cost of the formula, but it sounds like they have bigger financial problems than that.

 

Probably because Kristine also won't let the past be the past...this sh!t didn't transpire a while ago - it KEEPS transpiring....just go back to the expecting boards from the time she was pregnant forward...its the same rehashed, reheated drama over and over and over again...and yea I guess we keep feeding into it by trying to help and making suggestions only to be blown off and whined at....if she came back after one of her hiatuses and posted a question to which she would answer "thanks for your help" or "well we tried that and it didn't work but I appreciate the thought" maybe the rest of us wouldn't be so sick of it...

 

If your twins were considered disabled by the doctors who delivered them/ take care of them then they would qualify for SSI and automatically qualify for medical insurance.

One of my friends is a paid FF in Washington DC. He gets his schedule for the month and then he and his wife work around his schedule so that either she works from home or his parents will watch their children when he works.

Do you mind if I ask what disability that you have? Because if you are classified as disable you would receive either SSDI or SSI considering your work history.

 

Alrighty....

Well, you'll have to forgive me if I don't hang my head in shame since I actually didn't respond until page three. You know, well after the thread took a (not so surprisingly) bad turn. But hey, have a great time up there on your high horse!

 

My guess is that you don't know any paid Firefighters. Firefighters who work for a city department usually work between 8-12 days a month. That would actually be plenty of time for her DH to go back to school to become a paramedic. And most departments will pay for the coursework so that they will gain someone with a higher skill level.

 

Have you read any of Kristine's other threads? They ALL take this "turn for the worse". How many other TS threads turn out like this one? I've been on TS 2 years and I've never seen another poster cause this much drama in the parenting support forums. Maybe it is time for someone else to take responsibility for the way her threads turn instead of you insinuating that all of us dissenters are to blame for the snarkiness of this thread.

The Boy Who Cried Wolf and all.....

 

Hmmm, THAT'S what you got from my post?? I guess my writing skills need a little fine tuning.

Let's try again, shall we? In two part harmony.

The post in question is the last of (and EXACTLY like) many, MANY, MANY before it. All you have to do is a little cut and paste on some minor details, but otherwise, exactly the same. This has nothing to do with the Special Olympics debacle (NOT that that helped the cause any.) This has everything to do with posts of entitlement, drama, and help that was snubbed. Over. And over. And over. Since over a year ago. Again I encourage you to look back at all of the topics started by OP since the Expecting forum. That info is available on all of our profile pgs.

Not only does it get old, it makes people wonder if it's the sole reason for posting anything at all. For attention. And drama. And apparently I am not the only one that is pretty much over it.

Hopefully this clears up any confusion from my last post.

 

Thanks for keeping this open Kristine.

Man I wish I had more time to post but here goes:

OK ladies seriously, enough is enough. It is QUITE CLEAR that some of you don't care for Kristine as evidenced by the fact that you only show up in the first year to contribute to these types of threads. (Heck I watched it in the expecting forum too.) Can't we try to keep this place civil?! I come here for SUPPORT NOT belittling and I for one try to support EVERY.PERSON.THAT.I.CAN. if it's a situation where I have experience.

I am a FIRM believer that it is people like my family (and many of yours) who get shafted. We are the middle class citizens paying for the system (granted I do not live in the US) we are the ones who make too much money to qualify for aid but not enough to afford any extraordinary circumstances yet we pay to help others' extraordinary circumstances where many times they don't necessarily deserve it. And if it were me facing the same situation as Kristine I would have also posted here looking for support because this is a true feeling of many middle class working families. If we pay the system should be there for us when we need it, but maybe that's the Canadian in me.

I think she probably means that they have special needs not are special needs children. Technically wouldn't you say that those who have special needs are special needs children in the broad sense of the term? I can understand that you are offended by this but actually why I quoted you is for personal reasons. I am having a very difficult time right now, but since all 4 of my kids are healthy, do I not have the right to be hurting??? Is the pain that I feel any less than those people you have mentioned??? NO, I can assure you my pain is as real as any one elses! Just because my kids are healthy doesn't mean I don't have the same level of pain just a different type than another's. Just because I have a different row to hoe doesn't make the task any less arduous, or does it? I have seen posts even from when I was in the expecting forum where I honestly wanted to ask if we were men with our rulers out if you get my drift because of the constant comparing of oh you couldn't possibly have it as hard as me, it SHOULD NOT BE THAT WAY! Pain is pain is pain. Now I know you didn't even post that to me but since that struck close to my heart, my situation I wanted to speak up.

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Now THIS worries me, what EXACTLY do you mean by this, is this a threat of some sort because I didn't pay to be part of a place where people in leadership roles are threatening members.

I usually stay out of these things as I prefer to either be silent or uplifting but when women are openly belittling paying members of this site it really makes me wonder why I should help anyone or especially ask for help myself...what are you all saying behind my back????

I know that Kristine is having a hard time right now and what HER BOYS NEED is help end of story.

I have so much more to say but I'll stop here for now, not enough time.

 

Ok then! I am now going to close this thread as it's gone off-topic, gotten personal, and I believe is a disruption to the beautiful flow of our lovely FY board! If you would like to continue the discussion in PMs, please feel free, but realize that PMs, must also adhere to TOS. Thanks.

 

Is it all scary, of course? but is there salvation and good specialists in this area? in psychiatry https://medic-center24.ru/psihiatriya/