So mad I could almost cry

A friend of mine at work had a son 8 weeks ago, and really wanted to breastfeed. She had latching problems with her first DD, but she pumped for 6 months for her. At her last job she had to go to her car, drive to the back of the parking lot, and pump under a blanket. Nursing is going great with her new baby, and she's planning on pumping/nursing as long as she can. She's had to supplement a little, but he's 2 months old and she's still on her first can of formula. :banana:

She just came back to work today, and went to use our "pumping room" (which is actually for our auditors, but they're only here 1 month per year). Halfway through, she got a note slipped under the door saying "our auditors will be here in 8 minutes, you need to leave and find a new place to pump for the next month." We are so short on space in our office that we have people sharing cubes; there is nowhere else to pump here!! So the HR lackey (sorry, I'm very peeved right now) comes to me, shuts my door, and asks if I will give up my office 3 times a day so she can pump. She figured that since I had nursed, I wouldn't mind, but she could ask someone else...

Well, I have such unbelievable things going on at my job right now I've got people coming and going, technical problems, con calls etc. that this would make it very difficult to do my job. But I looked at her and said that I fully support breastfeeding women, I nursed my twins (okay, twin) for 16 months, and that I'd be happy to do it. But I told her I was highly disappointed that our company couldn't have a dedicated room for pumping mothers. She basically shrugged it off. Can I just add that my company just won an award for being one of the "101 Best and Brightest" companies to work for in Detroit?

I talked to my friend and told her I was happy to let her use my office. She was concerned that our boss would be mad that I was leaving my office 3 times a day, but I told her he could take this job and shove it where the sun don't shine if he had an issue with it.

Later today, our admin said she found a little-used storage closet attached to the executive women's restroom that only she has the keys to. You can only get there from the women's bathroom, it's very "protected" and has private access to the bathroom (clean up will be easy and she won't have to post a note), so it's probably more discrete for her than my office.

But I am so angry that I'm about to fire off a nasty email to HR about this. "Best and Brightest" my buttocks. Sorry for venting a novel, but I had to get this off my chest, and you guys are the only ones I know who would get mad with me. :angry:

Thanks for listening.

 

Disgusting. 'Nough said. :grr:

 

Ugh, I once had to pump in a nursing home bathroom because there was nowhere else private with a plug to go to. I was sooooo pissed, but it was a weekend and so noone in charge was available to vent to.

 

GRAAAAGHHH!!! :grr: That's crazy! What a good thing you were there to help that mom out. That ticks me off to no end - "Breast is best" advertising is everywhere, but when it comes down to actually making nursing/pumping WORK for moms, what do you get? <_<


Mind if I share a crazy story too? A mom I met had to take her baby to the ER of the children's hospital. During the endless wait, of course the baby got hungry, so she started nursing. Someone on the ER staff came up to her and told her she couldn't nurse in public there - they had a special room for nursing moms, but it was closed for renovations, so she would just have to please not nurse her baby in front of all those people. :faint: At a children's hospital, of all places!

 

I am so fortunate that both times I have been nursing and working the hospitals I have worked at had designated pumping rooms for mothers, and even provide the pumps! (they have a symphony there! whoo hoo!) But I know my sister had to pump in her office and could never relax fearing someone would miss the note and walk in (no lock on the door) and then countless other stories I hear of friends who don't have a designed room or closet. It is the pits. I take a class (distance learning) but still have to go on campus 1x a week for lab work and there is no place I can pump! That is why I took up a bit of hand expression in the bathroom. It is no fun to have to pump on the toilet! We do have a long way to go. But what I would advocate for first to support BF-ing is a longer maternity leave, like 6 months vs. 3. THAT issue gets me steamed up!!!

 

Okay that is crazy...and I think it's also illegal. Don't women have the legal right to nurse anywhere??? That's just totally insane to tell a woman to stop nursing her baby no matter where she is.... Yeah, she could be discreet about it if possible, but you can't starve a baby!!

 

oh my! so sorry about being asked to give up your office... and so glad the other option worked out. I know my company doesn't have a designated area, several friends have had to pump in the bathroom... we are in the process of designing and building a new office and they are actually going to be putting in a small lactation area - its similar to what you mentioned, its off of a women's bathroom so it'll be nice to not have to worry about it being off a main walkway etc.

I can't believe about the ER incident... I know in Florida the rights are that you can nurse anywhere that you as a woman are allowed to be... and really... how hard is it to nurse a baby? not hard, and pretty discreet!

ugh for having to make strides for nursing and pumping moms!

 

:grr: UGH that would have made me mad as well!!!! Tell the damn auditors to find another place! :grr: It's nice of you to offer and hopefully that other room will work out nicely for her.

 

Yeah, I agree with Holly--the support for breastfeeding is in word only. When you look at actual support, it's pretty minimal.

 

That's awful I hope the new location works out for her!

 

:grr: That's sad that employers make it so difficult to pump. I hope it all works out for her. That ER story is just crazy.

 

Holly, that ER story blows my mind. :wacko:

The good news is that the "new pump room" worked out really well for my friend yesterday. I told her to bring her laptop in from home and I'd hook her up on the wireless so she could surf the net while she pumped. She's having problems with her pump (PIS??) and the suction not being strong enough for double-pumping, so I brought in my hospital grade Ameda for her to try out. Its suction is less than stellar now (it's used), but it was enough for me for 11 months of pumping so I thought I'd let her try it out. Pumping one side at a time takes forever!!

I'm still contemplating that nasty email to HR and wondering if I'll get in trouble for it...then wondering if I care.

Thanks to all for responding and sharing your stories.

 

[quote name='Nate and Jack's Mom' date='09 February 2010 - 08:23 AM' timestamp='1265729036' post='1576423']
Holly, that ER story blows my mind. :wacko:

The good news is that the "new pump room" worked out really well for my friend yesterday. I told her to bring her laptop in from home and I'd hook her up on the wireless so she could surf the net while she pumped. She's having problems with her pump (PIS??) and the suction not being strong enough for double-pumping, so I brought in my hospital grade Ameda for her to try out. Its suction is less than stellar now (it's used), but it was enough for me for 11 months of pumping so I thought I'd let her try it out. Pumping one side at a time takes forever!!

I'm still contemplating that nasty email to HR and wondering if I'll get in trouble for it...then wondering if I care.

Thanks to all for responding and sharing your stories.
[/quote]

I used to work in HR (before the prospect of twins in daycare came up)- I TOTALLY would send a factual email letting them know that their 'policy' is not being enforced and while you support breastfeeding, your support should not compromise your personal workspace. They may not know what managers are doing as managers frequently make HORRIBLE decisions. You may get the manager in trouble, but realistically, they put this friend's breastfeeding in jeprody by their poor choices.

The bottom line is you shouldn't get in trouble if you are reporting what happened.

Good luck!

 

If the suction on her PIS seems too low, she could check one little part - I don't know the names of the parts, but you know the little yellow things with the little flexible white plastic flap over them that the milk runs through? If the flap thingies need replacing, that can cause low suction.

 

That's crazy!

I agree with Cheezewiz24.

You should write a factual letter. They need to know, and things won't change if more people don't speak out.

 

Mind if I share a crazy story too? A mom I met had to take her baby to the ER of the children's hospital. During the endless wait, of course the baby got hungry, so she started nursing. Someone on the ER staff came up to her and told her she couldn't nurse in public there - they had a special room for nursing moms, but it was closed for renovations, so she would just have to please not nurse her baby in front of all those people. :faint: At a children's hospital, of all places!
[/quote]


As for nursing in a Children's Hospital waiting room, the same thing happened to me. I had to go off and use a little nursing closet... I couldn't just nursing in the waiting room. I was like...that's really weird at a "Children's Hospital" of all places!!!

Shannon

 

I think it's ridiculous how little support there actually is for breastfeeding mothers (and really mothers in general in the US if you compare our leaves to pretty much the rest of the world) despite what you hear about "breast is best". I work in a very pro-breastfeeding hospital and have no place to pump. I was told they used to have designated pumping rooms but they had to close them because "they were in too high of demand". What? When I talked to HR about it they said most moms use empty exam room on their floor, but uh- I work in the lab and we have absolutely no empty space. I will most likely be pumping in the bathroom again when I go back next week. (I thought I would join your vent )

 

That is truly ridiculous!! I mean, I work in the "evil corporate world" so I can almost understand them being unsupportive (not that it's right; they just don't "get it"). But for a pro-breastfeeding hospital to make you pump in the bathroom?! Sheesh, if I were you, I might write to the hospital's board of directors about that.

And for those of you suggesting that I report this to HR, unfortunately it was HR that kicked her out of the pump room and were generally cavalier about it. We have no official policy about providing support for nursing women; I'm sure they think they're being "generous" by "allowing" women to pump on their state-mandated break times and anything else is just unnecessary. :gah: This is the same HR department that notified me that I would be terminated after taking my 12 weeks of FMLA (I was in the hospital on bedrest for 11 weeks), necessitating my boss's intervention to let me work from my hospital bed and requiring me to come back to work when the boys were 5 weeks old.

But I'm not bitter. :laughing:

 

I have a temper and if I was your friend I would put up a huge fight with HR myself. I would scream for my rights...don't care how they labeled me. Sorry, but that is absolutely ridiculous and you shouldn't get into trouble for putting up a stink...but it would be even better if it came from the source...your friend.

 

This is when I am glad I am canadian and I get a yr off with the boys. That is completely digusting and unbelievable.