Seriously need sleep help

The girls are now in toddler beds. They've figured out how to not fall out and really love their beds.
The problem is that they will not go to sleep and throw the universes biggest screaming/crying fit if we try to just leave the room after book time.
At first I was ok with this, but really I can't do it anymore. I end up in their room sitting between their beds, holding each of their hands until they fall asleep...which lately is taking an hour. Sometimes I end up asleep on the floor with them for hours; very uncomfortable and screws up my back. If I don't fall asleep, by the time I'm able to leave their room I'm in a drowsy haze and can't get anything done for the whole rest of the night and just end up passing out right away.

We did CIO with them when they were 1 year and three months and that worked well. The first night was 15 minutes of crying, and the second night was 30 seconds. Of course they were in cribs and couldn't get out. Now any time I've tried to just get up and go, one of them will get up and run in a fit to the door screaming and crying...banging on the door. I've never managed to just stay outside.

So I'm at my wits end. I can't keep doing this. Really need some advice on what to do. Does CIO work at this age? Did anyone have to do this at this age? If you did, how'd you do it?

Thanks for taking time to read this and respond.

A very tired, stressed, and bummed out momma.

 

Mine are still in cribs but I was watching Super Nanny last night and how she handles it is read them a story and tell them it bedtime. Do you hugs and kisses and then leave the room. If they throw a fit and come out of the room, the first time you tell them "it's bedtime" and take them back. If it continues the next time you say nothing and put them back in the room and each time thereafter.

Another thing I've seen her do is just sit in dark room with them with your back towards them or you can face them but don't make eye contact. Again if they get out of bed tell them it's bedtime and put them back. Second time say nothing and so on.

It seems to work on all the shows I've seen. The first night it may take some time, but just like CIO in time it will get better.

Good Luck!

 

Here I am back on Twinstuff for the first time in about 2 years. And what caused me to venture in again? This very issue! My boys will be 3 at the end of March, and we transitioned them to beds about 2 months ago, right before the new baby arrived. They did pretty well in the beginning, but it is getting worse and worse. They just play and play, and don't go to sleep. Sometimes its play with way too much energy (jumping off the radiator onto their beds) but usually just sweet looking at books or playing with animals. But here it is 10PM again, and they are not asleep! So I will be watching for all the wonderful advice also!

 

First I would evaluate the actual bedtime. Is it too soon after their nap or too late? It could be something that simple that might give you something to work with.

I did a Supernanny technique with my boys when they went to toddler beds. After our bedtime routine, I would tell them its time to go to sleep and I would turn the lights off and sit on the floor. Head down, no contact. If they talked to me, I was silent. If they tried to get out of bed, I would simply place them back in bed, no talking. Then once they stayed in bed, I would gradually every 2 nights or so, ease my way closer to the door to finally just sitting outside of it. If they came out, I would put them back to bed. Well, it worked for a bit. They would just go to sleep.

Then a couple of months later they both started coming out of their room about 10 times a night. So, I have resigned myself or my hubby to sitting in their room until they fall asleep. I just sit on the floor and play my ITouch. I still dont talk to them at all, but they dont attempt to get out of bed and usually fall asleep pretty fast. So I am not in there too long. I would love to be able to kiss them goodnight and walk out (I think), but when you have two kids egging each other on to get out of bed, its gets old fast hearing the pitter patter of multiple feet in the hallway. :angry: So for now, I sit. I actually dont mind. It is actually peaceful and a nice way to wind down the day.

 

We tried this with my son, and it didn't work a lick! We're still working on him....

Now, what worked with the twins... At 15 months I moved them to toddler beds to make room for their younger brother. We ended up doing like you and sitting in their room till they fell asleep. One anyways - 'J' always had a problem falling asleep. 'T' would always fall asleep on her own no problem. Anyways, after spending 2.5 hours in there one night when I was 8.5 months pregnant, I decided enough was enough and we would just have to let 'J' CIO. The first night, it took a good 2 hours, and she fell asleep at the door, but we left her there. (BTW, this was after previous failed attempts to also do the above method of slowly moving out of the room. I tried every No-cry solution I could read about before resorting to this) The second night she was down to about 45 minutes, the 3rd night 10 minutes and so on.

We had to start babygating their door, becuase they would get out about 10 times or so also and come to our room. It was like a revolving door DH and getting up to put someone to bed. After the babygating, they would cry a little, some nights fall asleep in front of hte door, but we never went in to move them.

Now, they're just over 3 and we just moved them to twin beds about 6 months ago. We have to lock their door now. If we forget, they will still come out of their room into ours. If it's locked, they try to get out, realize they can't, and just go back to bed. They don't even fuss anymore...
We've actually even trained them so that in the morning, if they wake up at say 5 a.m. and we're not ready to be up yet, they will play quietly in their room until we come to get them (usually abut 6:30 or so) instead of standing at the door trying to break it down banging and screaming to get out.

Also, at bedtime, our routine now is that if I put them to sleep, I go through about 5 songs, and sing each set from each bed (they want me to sing indivdually to them) and then I kiss, tuck them in and leave. DH will read about 2-3 books to them, kiss, tuck in and leave.


So, it's taken us roughly 18 months to get to this point, but we FINALLY are at a point of having a decent bedtime routine and some peace throughout the night... But that's just with the twins.... my son, who's now 18 months, is a whole other story! LOL

 

We did the supernanny approach. It worked for us..that and moving their bedtime back just a bit. We also started playing a relaxation CD at bedtime. We do our normal routine...bath, movie and milk, brush teeth, stories, lights out..but, now after lights out we put on the music. We tell them to lay down and listen to the music it's night night time. It works wonders with DD. DS we still have to resort back to the supernanny approach (some nights are better than others). Whatever you decide to do, just stick with it and be consistent! We had to do it for 2 months with DS before we saw results.

 

I totally remember doing the same exact thing...SO FRUSTRATING! Why can't kids just go to bed?!

What is nap time like?
Is there any chance you can seperate them? That's what I ended up doing when my twins were that age. I put one in my bed and one it their own bed. They still got up, but not having anyone to play with got them to go to sleep much faster!

Good luck! I just spent and hour laying my tow year old downin her crib, over and over! AHHHHHHH!