High Needs Babies

I have b/g twins and the girl has been trouble ever since she was in the womb, she is the reason why I had a c-section after giving birth to her brother naturally haha...stinker! She has been a handful since birth and ya know I just really have a hard time with her. She is rarely ever happy, I tell her she should smile more because she is sooo beautiful when she does but of course she doesn't listen to me. She is not very easily entertained either, and the only thing that she can do for long periods of time is sit on my knee and bounce. (She's one that always wants to be held.) I get soooo exhausted with her "high needs", she has only laughed a handful of times and I'm just starting to wonder if there isn't something wrong with her. Maybe what I've been labeling *itchiness and high needs isn't something else.

She is breastfed most of the time with 1 bottle of formula at bedtime and lately a bottle at lunch too. An idea was that maybe this was my milk or the formula but fussy with both? Probably not. Its not my supply cuz her brother is a decently happy guy. What else could it be? She's not a spitter could it be silent reflux? I also think she is starting to teethe but I have given her hylands teething tablets with no better effect on her mood and then I tried the hylands teething gel last night with still no effect on her mood so even though I think she's teething I don't think that is why she's so fussy.

Ironically she goes down at night and sleeps like a log! Must be from all the fussiness during the day but of course in true twin style her angel of a brother hates to sleep and hates to sleep at night even more, oy vay! I also have my 19.5 mo to take care of during the day too so to say its beyond hard balancing all of their needs is an understatement. When hubby gets home and her brother needs holding either he or our 11 yo holds him, so I feel bad at times that he doesn't get as much momma attention even when everyone else is home because his sister is sooo needy (and definitely prefers momma).

Any experiences/ideas of why she could be such an unhappy baby?

(Oh yeah I should also say this isn't a new thing, she's been like this for as long as I can remember.)

 

Are you describing MY daughter? No seriously, I thought I am the only one with a baby like that.

It is insane and I am lost myself. No joke because some days I also wonder if something might be wrong with her, maybe mentally or emotionally. Just because I am like you, trying to find answers. Nothing works. Yet, when she is held or played with, she is so happy. Smiles a lot but also never laughs out loud. You have to work really hard to hear her laugh. She is very social though and loves attention.

She is too so so needy and cries all day long, cannot be left alone and wants to be beside me all day. And like your daughter she also sleeps great at night.

I am just hoping this will pass because it's so draining. She has two teeth that she got at about 5.5 months but that did not improve her behavior and Hyland's never worked for her either.

I really don't know myself :grouphug: I guess just wait and see.

 

I just wanted to thank you for the new knickname for my daughter. I used to call her PITA (pain in the a$$). But now she will be princess pissy pants. :rotflmbo:

 

My DD has always been the more needy of the two and still is. I thought for some reason that when the twins turned one they would magically be happy all day, need me a little less and play more on their own for longer stretches of time. Now I'm saying to myself "ok, once she can talk it will get better and she won't fuss as much." It's less crying now and more fussing like you'd expect from a little kid. She is so loving and sweet and just beautiful, but when she's in a mood, she can be incredibly hard to help or deal with. If I could hold her all day she'd be happy and that's how she was an infant too. Both my babies have slept through the night since 4 1/2 months old (she actually started at 10 weeks, DS took a little longer)and are great sleepers but you can tell when she hasn't had her nap or woke up too early. I've always heard boys are easier as babies and I guess I just finally decided to chalk it up to that being the case with DD. I'm sure it's going to even out in the end and they will take turns going through "difficult" phases that make their sibling seem like an angel. I am a little nervous though now that their baby sister will be here on Wednesday. I want to make sure everyone gets their fair share of mommy-time! It's hard, but I think this is a fairly common situation and you aren't alone.

 

I'm so sorry you're in the same boat too but I am glad I'm not alone. I too am hoping this will pass soon. My last singleton was super high needs too but alas this one has finally surpassed her sister. My only hope is that even though my last one was such a needy baby she is the most hilarious and wonderful toddler (though still hard to deal with in public since she is so shy). If only I can make it to that stage with this one fully intact...

Heehee you have my hubby to thank for that one.

 

Awww crud I keep thinking it will get better when they can sit up but that's prolly not gonna happen so my next hope was when they turn one, it doesn't get better??? UGH! I have been thinking that about the boys being easier babies too cuz my girls were such handfulls, although my boy has his moments.

Good luck with your new addition!!!

 

That actually describes my two year old as a baby pretty well (one of the twins is this way too, but not as much as Ellie was). It got better, but it's been a challenge a lot of the way. What was an active high needs baby has turned into a very bright, active toddler. She can still be a challenge at times, but the girl is going to be a go getter and knowing her personality now makes her personality as a baby make sense. I honestly think some babies just get frustrated by the limitations that their size and age give them. Give her time, she might turn into a highly entertaining two year old like mine.

 

It sounds like you are describing my Claudia when she was a baby, she was so demanding. First 2 years was so hard, she had such a hard time enterntaining herself and wanted to be held ALL the time. Now she is 6 and she is the most loving, caring, smart and easy going child you could see, I remember days when she was little and I thought you are such a handful what did I get myself into? My Brandon is the same way Claudia was, he even looks the same when C was a baby. Well since I have 2 babies now it is such a challange to make everyone happy. I just keep on reminiding myself thats how it was with Claudia and it all changed one day. Just try to take it one day at a time.

 

Thanks so much, it helps knowing I'm not alone in this. Although I was hoping for the miracle cure heehee. I am so bad for buying new flashing and musical/singing toys, I tell DH that I'm looking for that magical make my baby happy toy...I have yet to find it. Now that I just wrote that it reminds me of the 2 new toys I bought today :blush: I really should stop that!

 

Michelle, how is it going?

And everyone else?

It's still nuts here. I am seriously going to make an appointment with pedi and go for a visit. I've tried the technique of holding them all day long for this last week and the neediness only ended up being worse. Now I have to go to the bathroom with an open door because I seat them far away in the hallway so the can see me, otherwise it's a hell raising scream from both now. Seriously gonna loose it. There must be something up...close to 8 months here....should be out of the woods?....

:drown:

 

Claudia hag horrible separation anxiety around 9 months, it was crazy so it could be that. I know its hard, I am not looking forward to that with my boys at all. Sending hugs your way.

 

Funny, that is also my daughter!! C-section and all. Asked to doc about it and he felt like it was a reoccurance of the reflux. I had my doubts but started her back on meds and she is happy as a clam!
!

 

My little girl had acid reflux and I can tell you she acted just like that. The way you can tell is if she won't eat well in one sitting (probably hard to tell with breastfeeding) and screams after eating and does not like to be put on her back for any period of time. Mine did sleep ok at night for whatever reason but slept upright in a swing for 4 mos.
It's probably not acid reflux but you never know. If you think it might be teething and you give the prescribed amt of motrin (not tylenol) and she does not have relief at all then either she's just a fussy baby or it could be silent reflux. We didn't get ours on the right meds till 5 mos and then she turned into a totally different baby and is now off of the meds at 9 mos with no problems. She started smiling all of the time, playing very independently (much better than her brother) and was generally very happy all the time. Good luck, I know that's very hard to deal with a constantly unhappy baby!

 

I vividly remember babysitting a baby like this. She was pure evil, LOL. Her mom used to buy toys in vain, in hopes she'd find a toy that interested her. As best we can figure, she detested being a baby. As soon as she could walk & talk, she improved drastically. She is currently an extremely active and bright 9 year old who loves math & recess.

Maybe if they would have done infant sign with her she would have grown out of it sooner, but it was not en vogue then.

Good luck!

 

Michelle - Do you think she has any GI issues? I had an LO with silent reflux who in turn we found to have a dairy intolerance that she has since outgrown. If it could be a dairy intolerance she would be affected by your milk (if you eat dairy) and through formula, regular OR soy. Just throwing it out there if it seems like she is in discomfort all day, especially after feeding. My child today is a completely different girl than she was a few months back. Needy definitely at times, but not to the degree of what you are describing. Hugs to both you and Kateryna!

 

my boy had a personality transformation after giving up dairy, too. I can't believe how happy he is now- happy is not an adjective I would have used to describe of him in the beginning.

 

Oh man I'm hoping you've found some relief!!!

Yeah I've been wondering if she had issues with reflux but she is no crankier during eating or right after. I really think she is just a fussy pants

Now if I had to guess I would BET that this is her hahahahaha!!!

I have wondered this too but I don't drink milk, eat yougurt etc. I bet the only way she'd get dairy from my milk is from cheese on a burger or something. Hubby said maybe she's allergic to caffeine free pepsi hahaha!

The last few days have been crazy but they just got their shots and we all have colds around here so no one is feeling well. In spite of that she has had a few times where she's actually been kinda quiet, I don't know if its been the fact that she's not feeling well so sometimes she's just kind of there or the fact that maybe (dare I speak it????) she might be starting to turn, or rather poke her head, around a corner???? Or maybe its the dang tylenol hahahaha! I know that makes no sense that she's sick and had shots and cranky but still somehow better at times, it's just that there are times I forget she's there cuz she hasn't screamed in 5 minutes. :rotflmbo:

 

It probably isn't dairy, but if it would be just know that dairy is found in many things you would not expect, rather it is the casein that is hiding, in things like breads and bagels, french fries, pastas...to be dairy free you would most likely have to follow a vegan diet. I think you would also avoid products with whey but I don't remember. Anyway, you might want to start tracking for a couple days when she is at her worst...is it always after feeding? Mine are always needier when not feeling well also. Poor babe...hopefully she will grow out of it. Just think...it is hard on you but you are making her a strong, secure individual who knows her mommy will always be there for her! (I know, that really helps now!)

 

Whey is a problem, too. Bagels are actually good- kosher food is usually just fine. It's white bread, buns, etc that are surprising. Fries from McDonald's... odd stuff. It takes a couple of weeks to get it out of your system, but if that's the problem, in 2 weeks you should notice a marked difference.