Looking for that light at the end of the tunnel...

Okay so I haven't really been on here since I had the twins but it wasn't because I didn't want to! It is a lot of work and seems to get easier as we go but...... I don't know maybe I am just having a bad week or weeks! I feel like I am always holding a baby or feeding a baby or just simply trying to sneak in a few minutes for myself! Don't get me wrong - they are actually really good babies I just think I am burned out. I have totally let myself go! At least it feels that way. I lost quite a bit of weight when they were born but now I have gained about 10 pounds back and I am not even close to being my size again! Yeah I know all this takes time but I guess this is just my vent! Just need some positive words I guess. I feel like I have no adult contact ever! So maybe I should have come here a long time ago! Sorry for the long drawn out vent!

 

hang in there, you are quickly approaching the turning point! my girls were about 5 months old when i realized, 'wow, they are awesome!'. but prior to that, i felt like all i ever did was feed babies and change diapers, literally. once they start being able to hold their heads up and smile and get little bits of independence, it makes it all worth it. and it only keeps getting better. =)

 

:hug: I know exactly how you feel. Can you arrange for someone to look after them for an hour or two so you can have a little time to yourself? You need to make sure you look after yourself as well as your babies.

Hang in there, it does get easier, as they get older and become more interactive it also gets more fun.

 

I completely understand how you feel! I think that after the twins are born our hormones are SO CRAZY they are wicked!! I did not realize that I was a bit depressed until I went back to work (I went back when the boys were 6m). Before I went back to work, I forgot to shower for days, I did not leave the house....I was depressed. When I went back to work, I showered everyday, I exercised and I had adult conversation. Even though I don't have time for me because I am either at work or home, I feel so much better.

If you are not working, can you exercise? Take the kids to the gym with you, walk around your neighborhood, mommy club? Can someone help you watch the kids for an hour so you can have time for yourself.....

GL,
Jenn

 

Thanks for the replies. They are really interactive now and that does help. Like I said I think I am just having a bad day. I just really need to get motivated and lose weight and get out of this house! I appreciate the comments because I just need some positive thoughts!

 

:hug: My kids are around the same age as yours and I feel like I did better a few months ago than now. I too am feeling worn out, depressed and exhausted and just plain at the end of my rope. I think we're at that stage where the feeling we had of being so proud and in awe of ourselves that we could actually get through each day has now worn off and there's no one left to cheer us on and no end in sight. If you think you may be depressed have a talk with your doctor, he/she may be able to help you.

I had lost all my baby weight (although I wasn't super skinny to begin with ) and have gained 10 pounds back in the last few weeks from all of my cookies and chocolate trying to fill something that was missing so you're definitely not alone in that either!

And while I have no experience with twins past 5 months my 19.5 month old is the sunshine of my day, the cutest thing ever so it does get better. We just have to make it through. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk!!

 

Thanks so much chellebelle! I think you got it exactly right. I have been on antidepressants for years and I don't think that is what it is. I just think its exactly as you put it. Its amazing all the help you have in the beginning and then everyone seems to forget that help is still nice. My hubby works 24 hour shifts as a paid firefighter/emt so I have 5 kids to deal with all by myself! You just may be hearing from me Chellebelle! It would be nice to be able to talk to someone who has twins right around the age of mine!

 

As PP said, you are at the turning point now! Once they are actually able to play on their own, it will be so much easier. You can put them in a jumper or excercauser and be able to sit and relax for a while. Keep your head up, it will get easier (and more FUN!) :hug:

 

I feel for you sweetie! I remember I had a hard time in the beginning but then had frequent hard "days" around 4-5 mos. I was so frustrated as I had come through so much harder weeks. I remember posting here around that time for support. Truly when they were about 6-7 mos was a turning point for me and now it is just fun even though there are days when feelings start creeping in. I couldn't handle going out all the time as it is stressful in itself, but I made myself do a few things. It was around this time I joined a twins group - do you have one in town? The meeting is once a month at night and there is 1 playgroup a month - I almost was in tears of relief the first one I went to - it helped me feel better to talk with other twin mommies. Also, we sucked it up and went to a mommy and me yoga (alone) and just took walks. I set up a couple "friend" dates just to have coffee for an hour on a Saturday morning or walk the park (without kids)...anything, I was soooo desperate. Try not to eat too much sugar...it deprives you physically and it also plays with your hormones big time after you are already in a state. The high is great, the low is bad. That is all I have craved for months so it has not been an easy task.

The biggest thing though, was I started making a "schedule" for the day for them, which in truth it was more for me, because it gave me direction and small goals for making it through the day. I tweaked it a lot but it kept my energy focused and did not give me a lot of time to sit and feel down. I love working so being a SAHM has been emotionally pretty tough. The schedule kind of made me feel like I was fulfilling tasks...of course as mommies we always are, but it didn't seem like that at first. :hug: You are doing great.

 

For me, 2 months was easier than now. Now they get bored and need help doing things. Tummy time, exersaucer, swing, bouncies, play mats, naked time... Change, sleep, repeat. Or, read to, sing to, make faces to, talk to, show the mirror to, etc. My dh used to be much more comfortable with them as well. Now he is starting to whine when both cry.

You are not alone.

 

I'm right there with you too. I'm attributing it to some cabin fever also. I'm so flippin bored and would love to get out of the house...but where in the middle of winter in Buffalo...the thought of packing up everyone and getting out of the house is also exhausting...especially since they are eating every 3 hours and sleeping every 1.5 hours....leaves a very small window of opportunity.

I also gained weight over the holidays...really bites. I went for my 1 month post partum apt. in October and then 2 months later, for my annual appt. and gained 8 lbs!! What? I'm sure it's because of the holiday and the fact that I wolf food down and pretty much don't have time to make a decent meal for myself...I'm living on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and anything else that is quick.

I can't wait till they turn 6 months so I can start to go to the gym and put them in the little daycare center in the gym (will only take 6 month olds and up). At least that is something, right? And on the plus side...there are showers at the gym...whoo hoo! I can take a shower in peace!

There are days I feel in funk and just not like a good mommy. I'm bored with them and they are exhausting me. I try hard, but at the end of the day, I'm whipped....for it to start all over again and my poor 3.5 year old is getting the shaft big time and I feel so damn guilty about that...I hate it...let's not even mention my husband...maybe we have like 30 minutes each day of "adult" conversation...not about the babies.

Here's to hoping it gets better.

 

I hear you loud and clear. We aren't to the point of easier yet, but this encourages me that it's coming. I did the put 5 pounds back on thing too. I'm still about 15 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight and I have found going to the gym to be a huge stress reliever. I don't go for long (45 min at the most) but just getting out of the house and putting some energy into a treadmill makes me feel really refreshed and ready to deal with the chaos again. Can you get away for a day or even a couple of hours? My husband took our kids to visit his parents for the day this weekend and it was amazing how much better I felt after some time to myself. As much as you can, try to get in some moments for just you.

 

My hubby always takes the older kids some place but leaves the twins home! I would rather have the older kids! lol Its hard to find someone to watch them for a little bit. And since my hubby is gone for 24 hours at a time it makes it hard for him to help all the time. I am just waiting for the day it gets easier. I hope there is such a thing. But everyday isn't awful. I just have days like everyone else does I am sure. It's nice to hear I'm not alone though!:thanks:

 

you are not alone momma! i just had a mini break down today...beingalone all day is hard work and sometimes i just feel like i cant do it anymore! My babies are entertained for 10-15 minutes at a time but thats about it...all i keep thinking is that it will get better!(inbetween my crying bouts!)

 

You are so not alone!!! I think its getting a teenie bit easier now that mine are 5 months tomorrow. There is still alot of entertaining I have to do until they are more able to sit up, crawl, etc but it is totally exhausting.

I think also the cabin fever has set it way too early. We have had 2 snow storms here that we NEVER get plus more bad weather and its still flu and rsv season so I feel like we stay cooped up in teh house. Wait we do!! Going to work each day has been my savior just to get some time away and get adult time! I also catch a few min to get on TS and do my own thing as well.

We are all waiting on that light and hearing from others, its coming!!! It is def better now than it was 2 months ago and 2 months ago was better than the prior 2 months so I am anxiously awaiting more light

 

Yes, I know all about the snow!! We are supposed to get some today and this weekend! The kids are home from school today so its me and 5 kids stuck in the house! I am so ready for some warm weather!

 

I know I am lucky to have good babies. But even good babies are hard to manage when its twins. There is always one that needs something. I have my moments when I think "this is too hard!" I applaude everyone on this site who has other children as well, I honestly couldn't imagine doing it all

I have a friend with 3 little ones, a useless hubby and who I swear has not slept a night through in 6 yrs. She once told me that when you become a mom, there is something that happens to you that enables you to keep going. I thought she was nuts at the time (due to her lack of sleep and all). But I've had those moments and realize how fabulous moms are, and how lucky we are to have this special ability. Like a superhero really :yahoo:

 

YW! Wow, I can't imagine, I have 4 kids and I'm going loopy haha! :bow2:

I hear ya! My 19.5 mo really should get more attention, she is sooooo good. One thing on my list of things to do to make life easier is going to be a date with just her and I and a date with just her and daddy.

My doc was giving me heck about my weight and I told him the same thing that you said I don't have time I grab what I can which lately is chocolate or cookies or animal crackers and live on that. He wasn't impressed haha. He told me to make my lunch the night before so that I can just grab it out of the fridge and snack on carrot sticks or grapes etc...not gonna happen yet for me haha but its a good idea.

And OMG the winter how I would love to be able to take them all for a walk!!! The weather is getting a bit nicer here this week (-5 C) so now that I have my new Valco to be able to take all 3 out I may just do that but with the normal winter temps being -15 to -30 even going to the store is a huge chore. Oh summer how I miss you!!!

This is a great thread, I'm sorry everyone is hurting but it really is nice to see that we are all struggling not only with the babies but the weight, getting showers, finding any time to eat and winter etc. :grouphug:

 

Some nights when hubby is really driving me nuts (he really is a great man 99% of the time) I want to tell him "I breastfeed twins whats YOUR superpower?" but I hold back. Moms definitely have superpowers cuz there's just no other explanation heehee.

 

same experience here! Hang in there!

 

Amylwood - where in VA are you?

 

I am in Luray. Where are you?

 

Expressiva.com had this as a shirt. I was too chicken to buy it, but thought it was hilarious!

 

And here I thought I was being original heehee.