If you do bed/nap time by yourself...

My boys are 10.5 months and I'm having some problems with my current bedtime routine and need to tweak it, but I'm not sure what do to. I have been doing bath-bottle-bed, but the "bed" was rocking to sleep, one at a time (the second waited in the walker). It used to only take a few minutes, but the older they get, the longer they want to be held and they're getting very heavy. Also, the second baby has started protesting the wait and just screams until I return.

DH works late, so I'm on my own at least 5 nights a week, so I need something that will work for just one caregiver.

I'm pretty sure I'll have to do some sort of CIO to get the new routine down, but how do you put both of your LOs to sleep at the same time?

THANKS

 

When I was by myself at night I didn't try to rock them unless one of them was being unusually fussy. But I didn't make rocking part of my regular routine. I got them ready, gave each one a kiss, and put them down.

 

I'm with Aimee. I actually never rocked my boys so they were always used to bath, bottle and right to the crib. It may be time to break that habit. :cry: There will be tears, definitely theirs, and maybe yours too!

 

At that age, mine were able to hold bottles by themselves. I'm trying to think back (it's all a blur). I think what I did was bath, then pj's and then we went back to their room for bottles. I remember sitting in our huge rocker/glider (had really high arms) holding both of them and they both drank their bottles while I did some singing. Then we read a book and off to bed. When they couldn't hold bottles themselves or I needed to hold just one, I often put one in a bouncer, layed back on a boppy or in an exercauser while I fed the other. When they were really little and both needed to eat at the same time it was feeding them both in their boppies or bouncies at the same time with me on the floor. We never rocked to sleep but did some rocking while eating/singing/reading but they weren't used to going to sleep that way.

 

I know dentist say no bottles in the bed, but I just lay them down with a bottle and thats it. They are off to sleep. I also do bed times alone and this works great!

 

At that age, I would use the swing for one, then when they were just asleep, I would transfer them to the rib. They would cry for a few min. but they would go back to sleep.

My Dh travels, and it changes and you change with them in all the stages. :hug: I did some CIO and have seen no negative effects.

 

We always put our boys to bed by rocking them and giving them a bottle now too. Luckily DH has always been here in the evenings to assist. I'm sure there will come a day in the future though that he will be out of town on business (thankfully that is rare, but nonetheless happens occasionally) which is why I think that in the near future we should do CIO and break that habit of always getting a bottle and rocker/cuddle time. I SO enjoy that cuddly time now, but I know that it's probably in their best interest (and ours) to get rid of that bedtime requirement now. I wouldn't want to have to do such CIO when here by myself especially! I'm just waiting until I can summon the strength and get behind such a plan...

 

I have a 2yr old that my husband gets ready for bed at the same time I get the twins ready. So I am sort of on my own....anyway I happen to have a daybed in their room. So I lay one on each side of me, cuddling them with pillows and read to them while they eat. I then turn down the lights and slowly move each to their bed. I also have used soft classical music playing in the background. It stops after 30 minutes of so....it seems to comfort them to sleep. It does not work every night, but I would say most.

Best of luck,
Mishelle

 

My babies are younger - 4.5 months - but I do put them in bed by myself while my husband puts our 2 & 5 year olds down.

I start the routine around 7:00.

I bathe baby #1 in the kitchen sink. Baby #2 waits in a bouncer or on a play mat. After bath, I take baby #1 to dry him off, diaper and put on pajamas, then lay him on the play mat to wait. I repeat the process with baby #2.

After both are ready for bed, I give their bottles at the same time. We have a double wide glider in the nursery, so I put one baby in the Boppy next to me, the second in my lap and feed them both. Burp partially through the bottle. Once they are about 75% through the bottle, I turn the lamp off. After they are finished, I lay each one in their crib (separate cribs) and leave the room.

Good luck to you as you tweak your routine!

 

Ours are almost to the day the same age as yours. We have mixed things up, but mostly we have always rocked to sleep. Luckily we have had no issues with that (night waking, etc.) and occasionally if one of us has to do it alone there is about 5-10 mins of tears if any. It is one of our favorite moments of the day but recently we decided it was for the best for them (and us) to start laying them down, so we too have been practicing. We changed our nighttime routine. I don't always bathe at night anymore because my back hurts by the end of the day and it is just one more thing I am getting slower at to pile onto bedtime. During the day I have much more energy. So we do the last bottle feed downstairs in boppies while I sit and talk to them and then go upstairs to the nursery for about 15 mins of quiet time...reading or playing the kissing game...basically we just keep taking turns giving kisses. Anyway, I will rock them for less than 5 mins together to sing and stuff (they don't share my lap well)...just enough that I get to love on them and let them know that I am here (daddy does the same thing if it is his turn.) Then we just lay them down. We have been doing this a little over two weeks and it takes the bottle juggling in the nursery out of the picture and it has went pretty well. I lay them down and tell them it is time for night night, kiss them lots and turn out lights, put on music, leave the room. I might get crying the minute I leave but many times by the time I get downstairs they are asleep. The bigger problem is sometimes it turns to babbling for 30 mins before it gets quiet. I fight with myself not to go up there at little cries. Early on (about 7 1/2 mos) we tried this and they got pretty upset and I wasn't ready. This is try two, I am more ready, they are more ready it seems and we have our nights back. It also means that I can go out with girlfriends occasionally and not feel guilty and also not be too sleepy (when I would get done rocking many times I would fall into bed and have no evening...effectively rocking myself to sleep!) Good luck to you - sorry for the long post - I think you just have to go for it - there may be a few hard nights but they learn quickly and wake up happy.

 

We have a bottle at 6:30, solids at 7, bath at 7:30 and nurse and bed by 8. I bath them separately while the other plays on towels in the bathroom or sits in the inflatable duck bathtub. We get lotioned and dressed in the bathroom and then move to the living room while I nurse one at a time while the other is in the exersaucer, or rolling around on the floor. Then I carry them both to their room and put them down in their cribs. I kiss them and say goodnight and thats it. After doing the ferber method, I don't have to rock them to sleep. I am always by myself so I needed to figure out a method that would work and this does it. Naptime isn't anything special. I just put them down. The routine is saved for bedtime.

 

I am by myself every night unless I have company or MIL comes over to see babies. I start around 6 or so and do baths (one at a time) get them dressed let them play until 7 or so then bottles in living rm floor on pillows. They are starting to hold their own bottles so I sit with them sing/book. Then I put them in cribs. They still cry even though I have been doing this routine for more than a month. Some days are good. They take turns being difficult. One day I think oh this was easy they are getting the hang of it and then they mix it up and cry for 30 or more min. Just be consistent in what ever you try. CIO hasn't really worked for them unless I'm doing it wrong. So if anyone has any ideas for me too. I am willing to try what ever it takes.

 

Sounds like you are flexible on bedtime give or take a few mins. If they seem extra energetic or tired that day (for me it depends on how napping goes) you might try starting your routine 15 mins earlier on those nights. Could be a difference of how overtired they might be for bedtime on those days they cry more. Some people on here do a rigid bedtime successfully, Weissbluth in HSHHC recommends having flexibility...I think like a 15-30 mins window. I wish we could have a set time but I have had to follow their lead...heh heh. This has worked better for us. I have overtired ones who can't fall asleep if they reach that point. Although you'd think this would make them sleep easier...in our case the opposite is exactly true.

 

When I am by myself, I feed the boys their last bottle in their swings (bottles being propped). When they are done, there is usually one that I can tell is the most tired and I take him first, rock him for about 5-10 minutes while the other waits in the swing watching cartoons! I know that is horrible but hey it keeps him occupied while he waits for me to come back and get him, rock him, and put him in bed. The other thing I do occassionally is hold one and rock while the other is in the boppy next to us (I have a double glider in the nursery). That way we can all spend that time together. Most of the time this doesn't work that great though. If I am in sight, they want to be the one being held!

 

This is what I'm doing now and worked for months, but now that they're older, it's a problem.

Thank you for all of the tips and support. I'm going to wait until their colds are gone and start a new routine with just a minute of cuddle time, then down awake and let them CIO until it works.

 

Ours have their bedtime bottles, a few minutes of giggle and tickle time, then diaper change, then off to bed to CIO....we just plop them down in their crib and lights out! They are asleep within a few minutes (sometimes even instantly!). It wasn't easy getting there, but CIO is a beautiful concept - I wish I would have done that with our 2 year old, but it was much easier to "spoil" a singleton.

 

I nurse mine so they always get fed at the same time but I have noticed lately that they seem to be more awake after eating instead of more drowsy. I have always fed them with dimmed lights and music playing but now after I feed them I sit them in my lap and we read a story. They seem to get calmed by the cuddle and soft voice and after the story I kiss them both and lay them down in bed. I hand them their lovey, turn on the mobile, and out the door I go. DD never cries, DS cries for maybe 5 minutes. I introduced their loveys (a little 12 x 12 silky blankie) when I first stopped rocking them to sleep and slept with the loveys for a night first to get my scent on them. It worked great as a comfort for them and I think it helped get them to learn self soothing better. It is to the point now that DD won't even let me rock her to sleep if I want to...as soon as she is tired she wants to be laid down! We don't do bath every night so it has never been part of the routine.