peas controversy

i posted this in the "den" which i know some of you may not get to see because you have to pay for TS membership to see it but here it is...

not to stir the pot up even more, even though i know i am...but i was quoting my husband on my special olympics comments and it just so happens that yes i do and have volunteered many of times with that organization. my point was this, how is making a comment like that any different from discussing religious POVs, political POVs or any other sensitive issue that a lot of people will take offense to? by denouncing god or putting someone down for their beliefs is no different than making a poor taste joke about someone with a disability, there is ALWAYS someone that will take it OVERLY and EXTREMELY offensive...

have you never laughed at let's say richard pryor, josh blue (who has cerbal palsey (sp?), carlos mencia, robin williams, whoppie goldberg, dave chapelle, chris rock...to name a few? if you have than you yourself have made the same type of joke just by finding their comedy humorous and they are rude, crude, sarcastic and mean and yet the majority of people find them hilarious, especially robin williams who is NOTORIOUS for poking fun AT EVERYONE regardless.

and for the record in the FY forum i can't tell you the number of times that i have been told that i am an unfit parent or that people are "concerned for my babies because of such and such" which so happens, MomtoJackandAnna, to go AGAINST the TS terms of service for reasons of insinuation...read the policy you'll see it there. and did you get a strike for implying that i am being a bad parent? probably not. and not to mention the NUMEROUS times people have questioned my mental status and have implied based on my concerns as a new mother that i have a mental disorder and severe postpardum depression and anxiety issues because i make a post about feeling overwhelmed - which btw i have read MANY posts saying the exact same things yet their mental well being has not been questoned.

so yeah joke in poor taste, religious remarks in poor taste, political remarks in poor taste, does everyone get a strike or banned because of them? i'm thinking not.



yeah i probably shouldn't have said it "open mouth insert foot, repeat". i have NOTHING against people w/disailities but if we can't laugh at ourselves, our situations, our sadness, our joys, our lives no matter how horrible they may be in sickness, disabilities, or sadness then how do you survive? how many cancer patients laugh at their situation? or make off the collar remarks about what they are going through just to get through the day. mine clearly offended you, for that my appologies.

obviously my sense of humor and the ability to live a non sheltered life and (for the most part seem to tick people off) is a problem for most on here.

those of you struggling w/disabilities i truly sympathize with you and i am very sorry for your situation and hope that things improve for you soon.

but, and not to turn the tables, the lot of you should stop (also going AGAINST TS TOS) by making comments about my mental well being, my ability to raise functional children and so forth.

if i ask a simple question about a simple thing, such as "is squash better than peas" or "how long and how many of you are on the full 15mg of prevacid for reflux" don't jump all over my back because the "been there done there's" seem to know all the answers...or at least come across that way.

so there you have it. take it for what it's worth.

 

:headbang: Please be mindful of our TOS when/if replying. Thanks.

 

what did i do now???

 

I don't recall saying anything to you in this thread. ardon:

 

:faint:

 

i didn't say you did or refer to you by name. a lot of people wanted me to address it and applogize so that's what i was doing...i only quoted what i wrote in the "den" because i thought it was relevant to the issue.

you told me to be mindful of TOS when replying/posting to threads and i wanted to know what terms of service i just violated...that's all.

 

No, I said "Please be mindful of our TOS when/if replying". I didn't say "Kristine, please be mindful of our TOS when/if replying". ardon: It was a general statement, and warranted for this thread, IMO.

 

oh ok. gotcha!

 

FOR THE LOVE OF GODS!!!!

You are not a comedian! You are a woman posting on a website who a bad joke and are now trying make excuses for it! Just apologize and move on. :headbang:

 

i thought i just did.

ok. i do believe "my appologies" was said...

and not making excuses, or being a comedian, just trying to make a point that clearly cannot be made.

i merely addressed this issue here because people on me prevacid solutab question brought it up again and wouldn't let it die...i DID say "my applogies"...and i do believe that when you say that you are in fact appologizing for something you did/said. am i wrong in that statement? if so my appologies AGAIN.

 

Do you not understand how hurtful your comments are? Please just say you are sorry and end it there. There is no way to justify joking about disabilities and the fact that you volunteer with disabled individuals does not make this any better.

 

It's so weird. I just can't get the voice of the teacher from Peanuts out of my head this morning.

For the record, if you want to appear sincere in your apologies, you might want to drop the word "but.". It comes off as anything but genuine.

 

[font="arial][size="3"]
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[font="arial][size="3"]I'm certain a number of cancer patients laugh at their situation at some point. The important thing to note is, they would rather NOT be laughing at their situation... Rather NOT have that situation. Think how you feel right now thinking people here think this or that about you.. Imagine if they laughed. Would you think it was funny? [/size][/font]
[font="arial][size="3"]
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[font="arial][size="3"]It is ridiculous IMO to throw all of life's problems into one category as said above here. Some are just worse than the other, and it is no laughing matter if it is not happening to you, just like it would be no laughing matter if it were happening to you.[/size][/font]
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[font="arial][size="3"]"I'm sorry" is the best apology anyone could ever give... Justification does nothing but taint it.[/size][/font]

 

Seriously.

Do you have a disability? Are you in a wheelchair? Do you have a family member with a disability? Do you have ANY idea what it is like for someone to live with a disability? Were you making light of a situation you are dealing with? Were you making a joke about a physical or mental disability that YOU have? Because I'm pretty sure that you are trying to justify making a joke about those with disabilities by saying that we should all lighten up and laugh at ourselves because life is hard - but I didn't see your joke as one making fun of yourself, just making fun of OTHERS WHO CANNOT DEFEND THEMSELVES against you. Comparing a Cancer patient making a joke about *their* cancer to YOU making a joke about other people with disabilities is NOT THE SAME THING. Your apology was not an apology, but a backhanded insult and justification implying that those of us who were offended by your "joke" about Special Olypics were being too sensitive and lacking a sense of humor.

I've yet to see your sense of humor? :huh: And if your "joke" about Special Olympics was a peek at what your sense of humor is, I hope to never see it again.

Nobody asked you to apologize because there are people out therestruggling with disabilities - they (I) asked you to apologize for making an unkind, insensitive comment! Which, for the record, this wasn't. So, I am SO sorry that people "just can't let this go". Huh, go figure. :headbang:

 

well i have appologized now like 3 times...can't do anymore. so that's that.

it is apparent that no one sees eye to eye with me on ANY subject matter so i won't bother trying anymore.

 

and what if i did? i'm not going to share that information w/you all because frankly it's not your business and sympathy (for me) is not often found around here, rather backlash. so no i'm not going to enduldge your curiousity about any possible disabilities i have dealt/dealing with or have lived with/witnessed or been a part of. it won't change anything. and yes i'm sorry, it is MY opinion (and apparently mine alone) that we should all laugh at ourselves once in awhile because life is hard and the more we can laugh about how hard it is the easier things get.

dont take my appology if you don't wish to, that's not a decision i can make for you and i'm finding this is kicking a REALLY dead horse because no one wants to hear or listen to ANY part of what i'm trying to say.

 

I'm going to do the lovely FY mods a favor and try my hardest to respond to this with grace and maturity.

You have not apologized. Apologizing requires a recognition that you have done wrong and hurt others. You are apologizing for our being offended - so you are really targeting our behavior, not yours. Your statement was horribly offensive and not funny to anyone here. I'm aware that there are people in the world who find that sense of humor funny, but my guess is that they are the same people who find racial slurs funny.

One of my very best friends in the world has a daughter with Downs. She was 29 when her baby was born, with no risk factor at all. We were pregnant together, excited together, shared our hopes and dreams about our babies together. Her daughter was born the day after my twins were born. I remember crying in the hospital as we started to learn that they thought her baby had Downs. My friend is the most amazing mother in the world. Nearly two years later, she takes joy in every step her baby makes. I, with my healthy children, am in awe of my friend and how she finds JOY in her child. Even though her little girl isn't walking and needs braces to even try to stand. Even though her little girl isn't talking. Even though her little girl has been hospitalized so many times I've lost count because when a baby with DS gets sick it is much more serious. Even though her little girl has a hole in her heart that may or may not require open heart surgery but will definitely prevent her from doing many things in her life. You can say whatever you want about me. I reported you for mocking people who can't defend themselves. It's cruel, not funny. And I'm sad for you that you don't understand that.

I wish on you and every mother here the same joy that my friend finds in her daughter every single day. Rather than worry about whether they are sitting unassisted or babbling or rolling or standing or eating peas, just take joy in the fact that they are perfect and beautiful and healthy. I worry for you because I don't know if you even can do that. So, yes, I expressed my concern, and I get that you are angry about that and angry that you got a strike. But you need to step back and consider your words and your behavior here at TS since you were expecting. I think if you could find the maturity to really, truly admit that you were wrong and ask for forgiveness, you would be amazed at the capacity the women here have for letting something go. Or, you can continue to blame everything and everyone in the world but yourself.

 

Oh for the love of Pete.

I read your comment last night and my jaw dropped. I can only recall one other time here on TS where I was that offended. I really cannot believe that you still think that there's an excuse for what you said. But, then again, that seems to be the way you operate. There's a difference between simply sticking your foot in your mouth and being hurtful and offensive. I have a hard time believing that you volunteer for anything, let alone the Special Olympics. Because if you did, you never would have made that comment. A simple "I'm sorry" would have gone a lot further....

 

You know what? I totally prefer squash over peas!

 

I am closing this thread, if you'd like to discuss it more please do so via PMs.