Mealtime chaos

Anyone else dealing with mealtime chaos? The kids aren't using booster seats or high chairs anymore because they constantly falling when climbing in and out of them. After too many busted lips, we started letting them sit on the regular dining chairs. This means they are not strapped in anymore... which means they often take off in the middle of a meal to go play or chase the cat or whatever.
We're also dealing with picky eating, nonexistent eating, etc. I am dreading mealtime because of this, and it comes three times a day.

At this age, is it cruel to make the rule that once you get out of your chair mealtime is over? (DS has developmental delays so he functions more like a 20 month old than a 30 month old.) Is it cruel to offer them the family meal and nothing else so long as there are at least 1-2 things I know they have eaten happily before? Like if I made chicken, rice and veggies, that's all they get because I know they will almost always eat rice. They drink 16-20 ounces of milk a day, and at least 8 ounces is mixed with Carnation Instant Breakfast so they're getting some nutrition there. I can't find where to insert a smiley, but I really need the one that says "GAAA!!!" because that is how I am feeling!

 

GREAT question! We got rid of the booster seats as well(the highchairs are still here...not really used though). And Nicholas is NOTORIOUS for getting up out of his seat, checking on the baby, coming up to one of us, etc. Dh threatens him a few times that he's taking away his meal and he always runs back and cries... SO-I am no help! LOL! I was actually wondering what others did as well.

As for meal choices, I just give them what I give them-and that's it. I will offer up some fruit at the end and maybe a snack a little while later(not always, and actually rarely). I don't want to give them choices and have them expect that is what happens at every meal-anywhere.

 

Right now, they eat such a limited number of foods and most are not things that DH and I tend to eat at meals, so I don't know how to transition them from their picky list of foods they sometimes eat to more normal food. The only meat they eat is hot dogs and chicken nuggets. They eat noodles and sauce, but eat around any meat or veggies that might be mixed in there. They eat no veggies. We typically do a protein, carb and veggie for dinner. So out of that, they'll eat only the carb which is not exactly a balanced meal.

They also will love something one day and then hate it for the next month. I get so tired of offering them food that they refuse to eat and them hearing them whine because they're hungry! I'm offering them the same crap they gobbled up the day before, but for some reason known only to toddlers it's not acceptable on the third Monday of the 12th month of the year when the moon is in Mercury. (Or some other nonsense to which I am not privvy!)

 

LOL! My boys will scarf down hot dogs one day, and then barely touch them another. It's a no win situation! What I have found myself doing lately is this: I go in my fridge and find just an assortment of various foods-leftovers, etc and offer them that. For instance-I'll give them a slice of cheese, some crackers, a leftover pasta, maybe some meat, soup, and fruit. Soup is rare-but I would offer at least five various things. Then they just eat what they want(veggies are never really served-my bad). At least I know I am offering various things, as well as cleaning out my fridge!

What about eggs? Scrambled? Hard boiled? My boys love hard boiled. And how about breakfast for lunch/dinner? I gave them cereal with milk for lunch the other day-they had two bowls each!!! And maybe spread the leftovers out. I've noticed if my boys have something for dinner Monday, they are less likely to eat it on Tuesday, so I'll try to give it to them on Wednesday. Make any sense?!? LOL!

 

My littlest guy is up and down during the meal and it drives me nuts! I ask him if he is all done and he usually says "no!" and runs back to his seat. Dinner he seems to eat the least, so I stopped offering snacks after 3 pm. If he is hungry before dinner and whining at my feet he gets a veggie and dip as an appetizer.
You can totally feel comfortable offering the family meal and at least 1 or 2 things they like. The more they are exposed to foods, the more likely they are to try them. I also read that if you put out a bowl of food and let them serve themselves, they are more likely to eat more. I usually make their plates to start and then put the veggies and carb in bowls in the center of the table. It gets messy, but seems to work a little. I also always put bread and butter on the table, as well.
I feel very strongly that if you start giving in to their food whims and battles now, you will be setting yourself and them up for a tough road ahead. I babysit for a 4 yr old who only eats pB&J, chicken nuggets, and baby food veggies and fruit. Thats it. Even for breakfast. He won't even eat ice cream. His eating has turned into such a battle with his family. It is so awful and in my eyes, so unnecessary.

Good Luck!!

ps. search "muffin tin mondays" on google - my kids love it!

 

For getting them to stay in their chair the whole meal you could try those travel seats that are basically fabric which straps to the chair. Something like this. Then they will be contained but not any higher than with the normal chair. I think a rule that getting out of your chair means meal time's over is OK for a 30 month old, but maybe not for 20 months. So if that's where your son is then I'd be reluctant to go that route. Also the basic premise of that rule is that they want to be at the table eating. If they're not very interested in the food and would rather be playing then I don't think it would be very effective.
I think only offering the family meal, when you know there are 1 or 2 things they like, is fine.

Good luck!

 

I tend to choose my battles and this is one that I choose not to fight hard core on. :blush: DS is notoriously getting up after taking a few bites. I think it is more of an attention span issue than a being defiant issue at this age. I don't chase him around the house and try and get him to eat. If he wants another bite, he comes back to the table to get it. DH, DD and I continue on with our meal. Once we are all done, then mealtime is over. If he comes back and sits down during that time, then I let him finish. However, if we have all finished and he has not come back to the table then his plate is taken away at that point. I do give him several warnings to come back and eat, but I leave it up to him if he wants to eat or not. He always eats when he is hungry.