how to break the news?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Help' started by pandax3, Dec 14, 2009.

  1. pandax3

    pandax3 Well-Known Member

    I need some help and suggestions. I have a 19 months already. Just find out that I am expecting twins, they are 6 weeks along. My DH and I are thrilled. DH already break the news to his family. (Btw, we are keeping it in the down low. I only told one of my boss ( I have four bosses total) and 2 of my girlfriends. I really wanted to tell my parents but don't really know how to break the news. Yesterday, my dad made a comment to me at lunch that "You only need one kid." I am so confused. I don't want them to be the last ones to find out and by then they will be mad at me. What should I do? Help!
     
  2. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    :welcome: to twinstuff and congratulations on the twin pregnancy! I would just bite the bullet and tell him and be very excited about it. Try not to dwell on the negative. I know my parents (due to our infertility) make it very clear that 2 kids was a great number. They didn't want to get us disappointed if we were unable to have more, but they were thrilled to find out we were pregnant again (on our own). Good luck!
     
  3. genagoodrow

    genagoodrow Well-Known Member

    I was definitely not strong enough for this, but I always liked the idea not announcing until after 12 weeks along. But since you've shared with a few people close to you, you'll probably need to share it with your parents.

    Maybe slip them a book next time you see them about twins, and tell them to read up! Tell them what you want for Christmas is a membership to your local Moms of Multiples club?

    It was easy for me, I invited my parents to my u/s. We were expecting a singleton, and we all found out together. What a shock!

    Good luck and best wishes.
     
  4. Kristin N

    Kristin N Well-Known Member

    i told my parents by having our 2 yr old daughter wear a "big sister" t-shirt and then having her hand them the u/s. (BTW everyone we showed the u/s to had the same reaction- "Oh that's so exciting! Wait what am I looking at? What?!?! A and B?!?!? You're having twins?!?!) It was so fun to watch the lightbulb go on. :)

    I would just keep it really positive and make sure they know that you guys are thrilled.
     
  5. tamaras

    tamaras Well-Known Member

    Congratulations on your pregnancy!!
    I agree with the previous poster, the more upbeat & excited you are when you tell them hopefully will rub off on their reaction :good:
    Good luck!!
     
  6. MsTasha

    MsTasha Well-Known Member

    I agree, tell them how excited YOU are! Is it possible they think you are having trouble and were trying to make you feel ok with that? We told our parents, my grandmother, and bother that we are pregnant, but it is still a secret that it is twins. We are telling them Christmas Eve by putting an ultrasound ornament in an ornament exchange at DH parent's house that my family also attends. Only 10 more days until they find out ;)
     
  7. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    :yahoo: Congratulations!
    I agree, the more upbeat you are probably the more upbeat they will be. I agree with buying them a book on twins, or something twin related (like a little car magnet that says Proud Grandparent of twins) and making the big announcement. Good luck!
     
  8. KStorey

    KStorey Well-Known Member

    All our family knew we were having a 20 week scan so after they asked us how it went we replied... "Great. All four arms, four legs and two heads" Had to repeat it to my Mum three times before she got it!!! These will be 4 and 5 for us so the family had lots of 'concerns' but we are now at 27 weeks and EVERYONE is really excited. Bite the bullet and give them time to digest it and hopefully they will come to support you like ours did. GOOD LUCK
     
  9. ChaoticMum

    ChaoticMum Well-Known Member


    oh my gosh - i had to read the date on this and make sure it wasn't MY post it sounds so close to what happened to us!

    I agree - make it upbeat and make it known that YOU are okay with this! Like the post I quoted, our twins were 4 and 5 for us - a surprise pregnancy to begin with that my parents had a few comments about "ANOTHER one? Didn't you learn from the first three? WOw - 4 kids is a lot in this day/age" etc. So when we found out about twins at 21wks I was totally wondering how they would take the news. They had major concerns about 4 - gosh only knew the concerns they had about 5!! They came for a visit the same day so when they asked how the u/s went I said !OH! we got a picture - let me grab it for you! and handed them the u/s pic - there was one on it that you could see both babes clear as day in the same pic. My Mum saw it first and just breathed the word "TWINS???" We told them WE were fine with it as they were our gifts and my parents just followed our lead. We did have to adjust to the fact - after all, we did only plan on 3 kids, so 5 was a stretch but now that thy're here i can't imagine life without them!!
     
  10. Susanna+3

    Susanna+3 Well-Known Member

    I agree with the others. Even if you feel overwhelmed by the twin news, don't let that show to naysayers... (only be honest with those who will encourage you and support you... because the naysayers will just discourage you more!) We found out at 12 weeks with my twins. My family was thrilled. My mom had teased me just before the u/s that I was having twins. So when I came home and told her she didn't believe me for a full 20 minutes. She thought I was just teasing her back. Since our twins were 2 and 3 no one really had anything negative to say. Now over #4 my SIL did make one rude comment, but I think it was more out of thoughtlessness than out of malicious intent...at least I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. And we let everyone know well in advance of our 4th pregnancy that we were planning on having baby #5. So no one was surprised, and how can they respond when it's something that you rejoice over?
     
  11. MyMayBabies

    MyMayBabies Well-Known Member

    I agree with everyone else. Show that you are happy and excited about it and the excitement will rub off.

    You could always wait a few weeks to tell everyone too. I'm 16w3d and still haven't told some people we are even pregnant yet :ibiggrin:
     
  12. leaudemiel

    leaudemiel Well-Known Member

    We're just 12 weeks now, but told our immediate families on Thanksgiving. My husband announced we had two pieces of news. It was cute. Mom cried. His mom cried. The dads got emotional. Lots of hugging.

    I was nervous about two of our closest friends who want children (one is trying, the other is single). The one trying cried with ahppiness. The one single got quiet. I wrote her a letter about how much she will be needed as the fun auntie, and hope it made her feel better.

    We're telling the rest of the family on Christmas, and then the world!

    I agree its overwhelming, but people have been so happy and excited that it helps with our anxiety!
     
  13. mommylaura

    mommylaura Well-Known Member

    I find that people take their cues on how to react from you. So if you paste a big smile on your face and tell them you are super excited, they will generally react positively. If your parents start to have a negative reaction, just say, "well, twins are a gift that no one PLANS for, but we are very excited excited" and hopefully they will just accept that. Good luck!
     
  14. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    :Clap: Congratulations! I agree, people take their cues from you, so the more upbeat and happy you sound announcing it the better.
     
  15. mmarsh

    mmarsh New Member

    We also just found out this week we are having twins at 18 weeks along. I told my mother via Skype today because I was so excited to tell her but she couldn't tell anyone as we are telling the rest of the family at Christmas. She was so excited for us and was glad I told her a few days early so she would have time to absorb and get over the inital shock. To let the rest of the family know, we are making a photo album of the u/s pics and making sure the "Twin A and Twin B" labels are clear. I am sure the whole family is going to be shock. We are excited though and think everyone else will be too once they believe me.
     
  16. pandax3

    pandax3 Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much for all the reply. I am planning to (try) tell my parents about the news during Christmas...........I will keep you'all posted.......
     
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