Feeling overwhelmed..

I can't believe the girls are going to be seven months soon and I still find going out somewhat of a chore. I haven't even managed to get any Christmas shopping done, or get the Christmas tree up...nevermind cleaning the showers (for some reason it's the one thing I'm always thinking about..when am I going to clean the showers). We have a dog and no yard and I feel guilty about not taking him out for a long walk during the day which means rather than going shopping, I end up taking the girls and the dog out for a walk. I refer to myself as the walking 3 ring circus.

I guess I feel guilty that the dog doesn't get as much affection as he used to and I'm not sure how we "properly" integrate him with the girls. He's forever trying to lick them and we keep him from doing that, but now we've got on mobile munchkin and he gets very excited when he sees her moving around.

I feel like I should be able to manage all of this stuff by now..am I deluding myself??? :gah:

 

I seem to remember pretty much the whole first year being just a write off. I didn't get much accomplished at all. As they get a bit older & are able to entertain themselves a bit it gets a bit easier. Plus I think we just start to learn to juggle & organize things better. :hug: Hang in there, you will get there!

 

I would do some supervised stuff with your dog and your kids. If he is gentle then he should be allowed to see them with you there. Then when you cant watch them, he needs to be crated or away from the girls. As they get more mobile and more interested they are going to get to him, so I think introducing them now is a great idea if you are up for it.

As for getting out, it is difficult. I would pack a diaper bag the night before so it was ready to go in the morning. I would get everyone dressed and fed and then out the door we would go and we would be home for the morning nap. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Go for it! :good:

 

We didn't worry about a Xmas tree the first year we had the girls. If I remember correctly, we didn't even have time to buy Xmas presents that year either. It was just too much. The number one thing is to take care of those babies. The first year that really consumes the majority of your time and it's so hard to fit anything else in. Don't be too hard on yourself, we have all been there.

I have two dogs and I totally know what you mean. I've had my dog since before DH and I were even engaged, since before we lived together. He was my first baby and my best friend! But I found that after the girls were born they were so tiny and I didn't trust any animals around them. My #1 piece of advice about the dog is to give it time! Sounds like you're already doing better than me, my dog just doesn't really get walked anymore. I would start trying to let your dog in around your babies under your supervision, even if you try at first for just 10 minutes a day. We had some issues with my dog being jealous and growling at the girls at first, but today I can leave him in the room with them unsupervised. It just takes time. :hug:

 

:hug: I remember feeling that way a lot during the FY! Like Rachel said, when I planned an outing, I tried to pack what I could the night before so I did not have to do it that day. I also kept the outing short until they hit about 9 months old, then I felt comfortable enough going out longer. As for the dog, I agree to do supervised activities with them. Because when they are mobile, it is going to be hard to keep them away from the dog (going from experience of my kids at my parents house and with their dogs and also at our home with the cats). Good luck Momma!

 

1. You need to let go of some things. When are you going to clean the shower? when your husband does it.

As for shopping, can you do on-line shopping? That saved my bacon because I also didn't have to figure out how to ship to family who doesn't live nearby.

Going out? Make a list of what you need to take with you. Then double check and get rid of the stuff you don't need. Get it all ready the night before and you should do fine.

 

:hug: I could have written most of that post myself, except for the dog part; we have three cats so I have zero advice about that. But like the PPs said, we're in the thick of it right now. The first year is an exercise in survival. I totally feel ya and commiserate.

The mess in this house is off the charts. I take one step forward and two steps back. DH is wonderful about doing his share, actually more than his share, but by the time he comes home from work, it's "Hi, hun, here, take a baby." Just going from dealing w/ two babies for 12 hours to one baby is like a vacation. Well, almost, lol. Everything but the v-e-r-y basic stuff gets left undone. DH & I folded what must have been 10 loads of laundry that have been sitting on the dining room table for the last week+. Need underwear? Check the dining room. So that's what that nice table in there is for? Huh. Who knew? :laughing:

The only "getting out" we do w/o DH is to the park, and we go often. Yes, it gets easier the more you do it, but I still don't have the mental agility to figure out how to negotiate shopping with them yet w/o DH. It's such a production. Sooooo, what little Christmas shopping I've done has been online. Getting the Christmas tree and decorating for the holidays? :rotflmbo: It's not lookin' so good. Might have to let that one go.

Look at it this way: Those babies are your most important responsibility right now. You must be doing a fantabulous job with that if everything else lies in chaos!!! Well, that's how I justify myself. It's easier said than done though. Hang tough.

 

I have to agree wholeheartedly with Irene - online shopping is the only way to go!! I have been doing and will continue to do all my Xmas shopping online. I have decided not to do a Xmas tree this year tho because it's too much of a hassle and the girls are only a few months old so they won't know the difference. Besides, my parents and parents-in-law will have trees so I can appreciate theirs!!

As for getting out more, our daily walks are key to my sanity. I don't have a dog so I can't understand how that further complicates the getting out of the house process but I would work on getting out as much as you can and pretty soon it will be a smooth process that you look forward to.

As for cleaning the showers, forget about it! Or, if you can, hire a cleaning lady to come every couple of weeks or once a month to do the big jobs. Better yet, guilt a friend or family member into doing it for you. I don't remember the last time I worried about getting our shower clean (probably because it was NEVER)! I do however freak out about clutter and dirty dishes. I suppose we all have our things. Whenever people come over I hand the babies over and start doing the dishes because it makes me feel good to get them done if they've been piling up and it's nice to do something that doesn't involve a baby. So if cleaning showers do it for ya then get someone to watch the babies and then roll up your sleeves and get scrubbin'!!

 

Thanks for all the advice ladies. I've given myself a figurative shake and told myself to "buck up" things could be worse I feel better today - I think it may have been one of those weeks last week, but as always today is a new day!

 

I used to go out every day because I went stir crazy being home. I started doing it when they were 2 months old and it really gets easier the more you do it. Hang in there! (and forget about the shower!!)