My 8mo DS is afraid of the crib

My 8mo old son is scared to death of the crib. He had a rough start with colic and was easily soothed by the swing. He would nap during the day in his swing for the first 6 months. BIG mistake. I am now convinced that the swing is EVIL. He would sleep in his crib but only at night. He would only take naps on a big pillow on the couch or if someone was holding him. Then both my children were sick on and off for a few months and my DP decided to bring him to bed with us. Another BIG mistake. Now - he is just too big for the swing and I want MY BED BACK. When he feels me putting him in his crib he will wake up and start screaming. I have done CIO in 20 min intervals at nap times but he will make himself sick or just take his clothes off. (still trying to figure out the clothes thing?) My DS would rather just not sleep then be in his crib. At night, we can get him in his crib for an hour at a time for the first 3-4 hours of the night. Then he is waking every 20 minutes. We had started the CIO at night and he will cry FOREVER. Just when you think he is exhausted and has fallen asleep - We realize he was just filling his lungs with more oxygen to scream an octave higher. It has caused such a disruption to my DD that we moved his crib out of their room. Why is there such a fear of the crib?

Help...Any ideas?????????

 

Sorry I don't have a lot of experience with this. The only thing I can think of is to keep trying and eventually he'll get used to it. Sorry you are dealing with this, it sounds stressful to say the least! :hug:

 

The only thought that comes to my mind... Does it sound like laying him down hurts? Like if he still has acid reflux that reclined position might be painful. That's why the swing and pillow don't bother him, his head is lifted. Could you try taking the pillow that you used on the couch and move it into the crib? Just for naps or something, just to see if it works. It may either just give him the familiar comfort, or it my raise his head up and prevent the acid burn. This is why I didn't even own a swing after my first.... Lessons learned the hard way. But you'll get him through, it's just a matter of trial and error.

 

Hi, we met with a sleep trainer at a year. I just couldn't figure out how to make them sleep better. We would end up with one or the other in bed with us at night (and my dd would wake up every hour from 3-7 am). It wasn't working well and we were all exhausted.

Here are a few thoughts (based on what we learned...).
He may have a fear of the crib, but he is also used to someone coming to help him get back to sleep when he wakes up. We did the same thing at our house. I don't think you did anything wrong. We all try to get by and survive with newborn twins (especially one with colic!). It might be time to make some changes now so you can all sleep better.

Regarding his crib anxiety, help him feel more comfortable in his crib. Spend some time there when he is awake and in a good mood. Help him play with some toys, look at a book, whatever. Make it a positive experience for him. Are you comfortable with having a lovey in the crib? We picked out two small stuffed animals (small enough I felt like there was no hazard). Use the lovey as a comfort object. Give it to him at naps and night time for the crib. At first, ours didn't get it too much. But over time, they really learned that their lovey means sleep time. Eventually, they will use the lovey for comfort and to put themselves back to sleep. Also, spend fun play time in his room it's familiar to him. When looks around at nap time or sleep time, the room will be familiar and comfortable.
We separated our twins in different rooms as they were waking each other up.

We ended up doing a modified CIO, where we went to check on ours if they cried, but didn't pick them up. Gads....my DD had a horrible time the first few nights. We had to wean them off of night feedings, too. It took us about a week to get the new routine in place. The first 2-3 nights were very difficult for me emotionally. But I knew we couldn't continue to function and be healthy with so little sleep for all of us.

For the second year, we actually have two pretty good sleepers. I never thought I would be able to say that. I'm so much less cranky now that I'm getting sleep, too.

I'm pretty sure I saved a written copy of our sleep plan with details. PM me if you want me to post it here (I'm afraid I might get busy and forget to check here again). Beth

 

This is what I was going to suggest for dealing with the crib anxiety too. :good: The only thing I would add is that if he doesn't already have a lovey there are a couple of things you can do to help him to attach to one. Keep the teddy/blanket/whatever tucked into your shirt for a few hours during the day (which will make it smell like you) and hold it between you when you feed/cuddle with him (which helps him associate it with good comforting feelings).
Also if you think being rasied up on the pillow will help you could always put the pillow underneath the crib sheet. That way he has the feeling/effect of the pillow without the worry of suffocation.

Good luck, I hope you find something that helps him (and you!) to sleep.

 

Here is the info from the sleep specialist--
For our twins development (one year) we were certain they didn’t need to keep eating at night. Our belief is they were eating for comfort. I don’t remember 8 month development exactly. I guess the question is--are they big enough to STTN without eating? I think that’s true at 8 months, but maybe others can give input or you can ask your pedi.

Put him to bed at a consistent time every night. She believes the earlier the better. We agreed upon 7:30 due to my DH’s work schedule. 6:30 or 7 would be even better. Have a regular routine in place for bedtime (story book, soft music, cuddles, pj’s, bottle etc). When it comes to actual bed time, place him in bed and leave the room.

If he is still crying at 5 minutes, go back in and check on him. Walk half way between the door and his crib. Verbally reassure him that he is okay, and you love him. Don’t pick him up or touch him. Just talk to him kindly and leave. If he continues to cry, go back and check at 10 minutes, and then 15 minute intervals until he falls asleep.

Don’t go back in the room if they are fussing or crying intermittently. This means they are getting closer to sleep, but still fighting it a bit.

Weaning-Start off giving him the highest number of ounces he is consuming at night (or minutes of nursing). We started our DD at 5 oz. Reduce one ounce per night until no more feeding (or reduce minutes of nursing). Feed him twice per night. We picked out 12 midnight and 3 am. The idea is to try and schedule the two feedings about an hour before they normally wake up during the night. So when he wakes and cries later, you can be sure he isn’t really hungry since you just fed him (this helped a lot with my anxiety!). You can adjust the times to fit your situation.

If he wakes up at night crying-
Use the 5, 10, 15 minute interval training again. Don’t pick him up or touch him. Just provide verbal reassurance. If it is only fussing or short crying, don’t go in the room.

Don’t start this if--
1-he is sick (even a cold with a runny nose will cause a problem)
2-he is actively learning to walk
3-he is cutting a tooth in the next 2 days or so
4-you are on vacation or if you have visitors at home
These are not good times for babies to learn about sleep.

If you are going out of town or having company during the holidays, you might think about the timing. It takes a good week or so to get the new sleep patterns in place.

The first couple of nights were difficult. We were up a lot and both kids cried. I had a lot of anxiety and couldn’t sleep much. My DS adjusted to the new sleep schedule after a few nights. He SSTN for 11 hours and rarely wakes up. If he wakes up now it’s usually because he’s wet or teething.
My DD held out about 3 or 4 nights of crying. It lessened every night. My DD usually sleeps 10 hours, but has a tendency to wake up too early. We might have to work on leaving her in the crib longer in the morning if this continues.

We don’t apply the sleep program if they are sick. When they had colds a few months ago, we got up, held them and gave them bottles if they couldn’t sleep. We waited until their noses were clear before going back to the sleep schedule. Once they learn the schedule well, it’s okay to be off for a few days. It’s fairly easy to get them back on track.
GL! Beth

 

This is exactly what we did with the loveys. They didn't have a lovey, so we gave them a couple of choices for a few weeks. Eventually they picked out one each. When we put them down in their crib, we always talk about the lovey "Oh, here's your puppy again. Puppy is ready for his nap." They both grab the lovey to their chest while they are going to sleep. cute!
I love the pillow under the sheets idea. I wish I had known about that earlier!

 

You can also put the pillow or a folded blanket under the mattress. Another way to do it is to raise one entire end of the crib. So you put blocks (or newspapers/phone directories/whatever you have) under the two head end crib feet, which puts the whole crib at a slant. It's a useful trick for a baby/toddler who has a cold because it can help them to sleep better (they get less congested when not lying flat).