Would you accept this offer?

Hi, My twins are now 15 months old. We are planning to take a road trip to see my MIL over Christmas break. I've been dreading it, mainly because of the disruption in routine.

My MIL called and offered to keep the twins overnight, while my DH and I spend the night in a hotel to get a break. She is offering to keep them the night of the 26th, when my SIL will be there to help her. Our plans are to drive there on the 26th. She lives in Central CA and it usually takes us about 4-5 hours of driving. It may take longer this time if we need to stop and let the twins play for a while.

My twins haven’t travelled much. We took one long weekend trip to the mountains when they were 6 months old. They’ve never had anyone else put them to bed at night, and they STTN at home. They’ve never been to my MIL’s house. My MIL comes to visit them about once every 3 months. She is very sweet to them, but it takes them a while to get used to her again.

I’m thinking of saying No Thanks. I’m worried they will be over tired and in an unfamiliar evironment. It just seems like a bad combination. But this could be a RARE opportunity for us to spend some time alone. We have no family where we live and rarely get a break from them.

I have one idea that might make it work better. We could leave a day earlier (the 25th) so they have time to adjust a little before we leave them. I didn’t want to drive on the 25th since everything will be mostly closed on the way there (Is McDonald's open on Christmas? anyplace?). I guess we could just pack whatever food and snacks we need in the car and let them out at rest stops.

I need some feedback! Am I crazy if I pass up this opportunity? Thanks, Beth

 

i think it depends on your MIL - is she willing to deal with two crabby, overtired, grumpy toddlers who may or may not have any interest in sleeping? if she understands that that's probably what's going to happen & is fine with it - take the offer!! the time alone for you & DH will be invaluable - and your kids will be fine (although i think your idea of driving on the 25th & giving them a day of adjustment is a good one as well). GL with your decision!

 

I was so nervous when we had to move to a new home. It was near by, but we had about a 2 weeks period in between with no where to live. My mother came down to help us move in to the hotel and was going to stay at her sister's house who lived near by. My boys were about 1 yrs old and I am VERY protective of their routine. I get very upset if they are disrupted. But even I knew I needed some time to focus on moving and not have to worry about my boys. My mother doesn't always do things the way I want them to be, but I knew she'd keep them safe. I figured I'd have to remind the boys how I like things once they got back to me. My mother and aunt took them for about 4-5 days!!! That means they'd be sleeping at my aunt's house for the first time and not in their cribs! They came back to me with the report card of not being fussy and they slept through the night...every night! They made my brother jealous actually, since my mother would call him up and boast how much better my boys sleep than any of his three. They came back to me happy as ever. They didn't have the best nights in the hotel, but that's cause for the first time, they had to sleep in the same room again which they hadn't had to do for many months prior. Once we got in to the new home, they slept through the night as they had before. Nothing was truly disrupted.

So I say take advantage of this. If you trust that your MIL will do her best to keep up with the schedule and routines you set for them, if you can trust that she will keep them safe, then by all means, go enjoy yourself. It's so scary to leave them for the first time. I was scared to death leaving them. I had never been without them ever since they were born, but they came back in one piece and happy as ever. You need to have some you time with your hubby. Go and try to enjoy yourself. One rule I was taught when having time alone with your hubby is do not talk about the kids! It's the hardest rule to stick to, but you will have a hard time relaxing if all you do is think about your babies. You need to think about you and your hubby and the fun you can have FINALLY after all that time!

 

I was very protective of routine but at this age since they have been in routine all this time, they are officially brain washed. hehe Yeah i think they will sleep just fine. I've taken my two on holidays worried about the worst with us all in one room and worried they would not nap or STTN , and they were great.

I hope when my mother comes to visit we can go out for dinner and a hotel for the night as well. You deserve this and it is so important for your relationship as a couple which is the MOST important thing for your children. Go enjoy, have a good time. Keep your cell phones handy and give your MIL some flowers as a thank-you.


Heather

 

Yes take her up on it but think outside the box.....not sure about your little ones but mine are ok if they wake up and someone else is there but not if they go to bed without me.....so.....why not leave after you put them to bed? Then go to the hotel and have dinner and sleep in! They'll wake up ready to run around and won't think anything of it!

 

I think this is a great idea! I would definitely take MIL and SIL up on their offer and just make them aware that the twins might be a little fussy that first day and night because this is a new place to them. What a nice offer for your in laws to make!

 

Take it for this reason and this reason only. At 15 months your babies will be fine for one night without you. You deserve a night to recharge. I mean they might be fussy the next day even if you are with them, right? GO.FOR.IT!!!

 

I would most definitely take your MIL up on her offer!

 

I agree 100%

Have fun!!

 

I am a control freak over christmas about our routines but I have learned over the years with our first son that over chritmas things get messed up no matter how hard you try. I would say take the opportunity and get to spend some alone time with your hubby. If your kids are going to be crabby they will be crabby with or without you there so I say take a break and let them handle it. If you SIL will be there than at least she will have help with the kids and all will be fine. I hope that things work out and that you enjoy a night away.

 

Definitely jump on that offer! If you don't want it, I'll take it!! :ibiggrin:

We just got back from travelling over T'giving and, like you, I was worried about their schedule getting messed up. And it was really messed up! But surprisingly, the twins rallied and did really well. I think they were just so excited to be in a new place with new toys and new people. There was a little crankiness, but not much. So I'd definitely leave them with your MIL and go enjoy yourself. Your twins will probably surprise you and will wind up having a ball!

 

Do it! The little ones will have their Aunt and Grandmother to watch over them and will be fine... and you KNOW that you could use a little quiet adult time.

 

I would definitely take them up on the offer. It's the best part about going home for Christmas! Ok, maybe not the best, but it sure is nice to have some time away. They will be fine, even if fussy. My boys are less fussy when we are gone anyway, so maybe Grandma and Aunt will get lucky!

 

I say go for it and leave a day early, so everyone can adjust and relax a little before you leave them. They'll be fine. Worst case, have her call you and you can come back early. Good luck!!!

 

I say take your MIL´s offer! She will be fine and will cope. Does she know your LOs well? My MIL looks after ours a lot and it´s great. The first night away from your LOs is always the hardest then it gets easier. Go and enjoy your night off with DH, you´ll have fun! Your MIL can always send you a text or call to let you know how things go

 

:good: This is what I was going to sugest too. Get them settled down and then leave. That way you still get your night away and you don't have to spend the whole time worrying that they are being difficult.

 

I would probably not do it. Evenings with dh I get plenty of, considering the kids go to bed at 7pm, so really I don't think it would be that beneficial to us (plus the hotel cost). So I'd probably go after they are in bed, and come back early in the morning... so yeah, pretty pointless, lol.

Now, I just came back from 3 days at MIL. 4-5 hours away too (which took us 8-9 hours both ways between breaks and traffic). There is no way I would have left the kids alone with her. The kids didn't sleep that well because they were not used to it (they slept in peapods over there), but they were not cranky because it was all new and there was a lot to explore - and right there is why I would not have trusted my MIL with them. They were all over and into everything, and her house wasn't baby proof. Even with dh we were exhausted after just 2 hours there.

So I guess it depends... on how old your MIL is (can she chase a kid if they get in trouble etc), how baby proof her house is, if she will listen to your instructions etc... same for SIL.

 

I would take her up on the offer, but make she knows what she could be getting herself into Also, you could take it step by step [not make an official plan yet] and see how the LO's are acting that day. They may surprise you and transition very well. On the other hand, they may have a not so great time transitioning and you might Want to stay with them.

GL! You and DH probably can use some time alone for once!

 

Go for it! Enjoy!

 

YES!!!

 

Totally take her up on the offer and have fun being adults and not mom and dad for a night.

 

Thank you all so much for the responses! I should have set up a poll

I spoke with my DH and MIL. We are going to try it! We are driving up on the 25th, so we’ll have an extra day to settle in to their place.
My MIL is very loving with the twins, but she is also very nervous and high strung. I’ve never left her alone with the twins longer than about an hour. My SIL is good about “directing” her Mom when she gets way off track. My SIL has spent time with the twins before, and she seemed really comfortable with them. She has kids of her own and doesn’t panic.

My MIL says she has a free pass to a resort that is 3 miles away from her home. It’s a new resort/casino that is trying to drum up business. I looked at it on line, and it looks like a nice place in the mountains. I’m not into gambling, but the scenery looks peaceful and the resort is brand new.
We might stay and put them to bed before we go. We’ll wait and see how things are going before we make that decision. I think we’ll only have time for dinner and I’ll be off to bed. I can’t stay up late anymore! We’ll have breakfast at the hotel and then head back to my MIL’s.

It’s not a lot of time to get a break, but I figure it’s better than nothing. At least we’ll get to sleep in a bit! I’ll be sure to follow up and let you know how it goes! Beth

 

Good for you!!! :clapping: There is nothing like having a bit of time to yourself!! Your babies will be just fine with your MIL and SIL!!

 

go for it!! It'll be good for you AND the kids!

My IL's did a similar thing for us one Christmas too. I was very resistant to accept and had all these "concerns" as to why I shouldn't accept but dh really wanted to so we did.

It worked out great and I realized my concerns were more about me, not the kids (not saying it is that way with you, just me). It was a lesson for me on how flexible and resilient kids really are. I know a schedule is important on a regular basis but varying from that schedule every once in a while is good for them too. I know I get bored with status quo all the time too.

Have fun!

 

Hi all,
I promised a follow up post! We took my MIL and SIL up on their offer to watch the twins overnight. We drove up a day earlier to make sure we were settled in before leaving them.

The good news--we had a whole night alone. We went out to dinner, I bought a magazine and took a bath, we slept in and had breakfast in bed. Nice! The room was free. My MIL lives in the mountains near a casino. They offer her free passes every week so she'll spend her money gambling. We didn't do any gambling, but it was a nice room.
My MIL was really rigid about keeping them on their sleep schedule, which was great!

The bad news-my MIL decided to cut my DD's hair while we were gone. Grr....I'm still a bit mad about this :aggressive: She didn't discuss it with us. Total surprise! She didn't do a very good job. It's uneven and will take a while to grow out. Sigh. Oh well, at least there is no permanent damage. :headbang:

I don't think we'll do this again anytime soon. But it was nice. Thanks for all of your feedback!

PS-hopefully it will make a funny story when our DD gets older???

 

I'm so glad that you got a nice break!

I would be beyond LIVID if anyone in my family cut my kids hair without telling me!!! :aggressive: That's just horrble!! Did you talk to her about it? Was this her first haircut... I'm angry for you... what in the world was she thinking??

 

Glad you had a good time and that followed your routine. I would have been really pissed that she cut my DD's hair. That's just something you do NOT do without a parent's permission. Was this her first cut? I hear so many stories of family members taking it upon themselves to do this and I don't get it. Isn't a child 1st haircut usually a momentous time for the parents? I would never dream of cutting another child's hair. I am glad you got some alone time with your hubby and it sounds like it was very relaxing.

 

Thank you for validating my outrage! :laughing:
Fortunately, this was not her first haircut (but my MIL didn't know this). I talked to my MIL about it, and she just kind of laughed it off. She casually mentioned "I saved the hair in case this was her first haircut." AAHHHHH!! My SIL told her not to give DD a haircut, but she went ahead and did it anyway.
My MIL is very sweet, but I'm really starting to think her judgement is NOT GOOD. There were a couple of incidences with the fireplace and the stove that seemed dangerous to me. I really don't think I will let her supervise them alone. It shouldn't be a big problem as she usually comes to visit us, and we don't leave her alone with them. Our place is baby proofed, so I feel okay taking a shower or running a quick errand. Otherwise, we'll just hire our babysitter to give us some relief.

 

I WILL accept her offer. Tell her to call me.