HELP! We lost one?

Hi. I am new here, and posted in the appointments thread yesterday. We had an ultrasound two weeks ago (at 5 1/2 weeks) that clearly showed two sacs. Each sac had a fetal pole and a yolk sac. Dh and I saw CLEARLY saw both, as the tech did. My regular OB agreed. Today we had our first appt with the perinatal center we were referred to, and they did an ultrasound. The tech says she only sees one baby. I was obviously sad at this news. I thought it meant we lost one. But then one of the docs came in, quickly placed the instrument on my belly, and said "I don't know what to tell ya, there's only one baby." He didn't even try to look around with the instrument. He then said, "I don't know why you thought you were ever pregnant with twins....if you had been, and lost it, you would have spotted or passed it, or we would see remnants of it." I am at a loss. We are trying to get in for another ultrasound...a second opinion. Hopefully yet today. Anyonhe experience this?????

 

:hug: I'm sorry. I think that was kind of a rude thing for him to say. I mean, you weren't transferred/referred there for being pregnant with a singleton! When I had my vanishing twin, my first ultrasound was at 8 weeks... one measured 7.5 weeks and the other 6.5. Both had heartbeats. I was told that one was probably not going to make it. So, two weeks later, you could still see where the one was (barely), but nothing was in the sac. The other was just fine. I had to discharge at all to show that I had lost a baby so we were shocked to learn this news. That said, two weeks, if there isn't another one in there hiding, the one baby could have been reabsorbed and left no trace.
A lot of pregnancies start out as twins, but only because of the early ultrasounds do we know it. :hug: Hang in there. There is nothing you can do to prevent a loss, just try to relax and not stress.

The next ultrasound should provide some answers.

:welcome: to Twinstuff!

 

There won't be another ultrasound. My regular OB refused, saying he agreed with the peri's findings and that insurance would probably not cover it. He said he was sorry for how the peri told us. I keep being told that I should be grateful that I have one healthy baby. And I am. But I had two. Is that not a loss???

 

Yes, that tech was VERY rude for sure!!!! I have a retroverted uterus, and it's hard to get clear pics of what's going on in early u/s. With my first u/s at 5.5 weeks, my RE saw one sac and fetal pole. To our suprise at our 7.5 weeks u/s....he saw TWO sacs, two babies and two heartbeats!!!!! Apparently, the second baby was just hiding from the first view. So, I would DEFINITELY get a second opinion...it might be that you just can't see things clearly very well yet. GL!!!

 

It sounds like possible vanishing twin syndrome - which is extremely common, but most women don't have u/s that early and never realize it. I had a vanishing twin with my first pregnancy in 2004. And contrary to what your OB said, you would not normally bleed or spot from it. It is simply reabsorbed into the uterus. Did you see a heartbeat in the second sac when you first saw it at 5.5 weeks? And did they not chart this information for you? At that point your OB should have cautioned that it was still early, and not to announced twins or expect it until you see two heartbeats - but it sounds like his bedside manner isn't so pleasant. I'm sorry about your news and disappointment

 

Did anyone at the peri's office check the report/ultrasound results from your initial visit when twins were seen? It seems like the peri should take a look at them to determine what has changed and not just leave you wondering. I'd ask for those results to be reviewed.

 

I'm sorry, that was pretty rude of him. :hug: I would probably ask to see the u/s reports and see what was said in the notes.

 

I am very sorry that you had to have that experience, that was very unprofessional of the tech. :hug:
I would most definitely ask to see the reports from that u/s as others have mentioned.
Good luck & sorry that you are going through this

 

What do I do now? My original OB is saying we should trust the peri's findings and advised against another ultrasound as unnecessary and unlikely to be covered by insurance. But we spoke to our insurance company's doctor's line, and they say we should seek another opinion and try to get the records from each ultrasound to take to the new doctor. This could take about a week we're told. And I do have a retroverted uterus, which I never thought about until someone mentioned it. Should I pursue this??? Or do I just need to accept that we lost one of our twins? If there were any chance that our baby might still be there, I would want to know. But I don't want to draw this out if it is indeed a loss. What would you do? Any thoughts would help, thank you.

Also, those of you that have lost a twin.....did those around you see it as a loss? Did you mourn the loss? I feel guilty, as though I should just be grateful for the one I have left. Of course I am grateful. But I cannot just ignore the fact that there were two. I was already in love with BOTH babies. If I had been pregnant with one child, and lost that child, it would be considered a loss by most people. But with one twin surviving, I feel like no one will understand that I have still lost a baby.

Sorry to carry on like this....I just don't know how to deal with this.

 

I would seek the second opinion if it makes you feel better - and I think it would. I don't understand your OB thinking you should just ignore what you saw.

When I lost the twin, no one around me viewed it as the loss that I did. I m/c years later in a very different fashion and my loved ones were all treating me very differently than the twin loss. I had such bittersweet feelings about it. I was TTC for several years, so it was very traumatic for me. A loss like this is different for everyone, but you have very valid feelings and I think getting the u/s reports and the second opinion could help you determine how to feel, and find peace with it, kwim?

I'm so sorry you're dealing with it at all

 

What a tough situation to be in. I have had vanishing twins. With my first son I had a massive bleed at 10 weeks and the drs think thats when I passed the sacs. I think if I were you I would have to know. But I would def recommend waiting a couple weeks so there will be no question in your mind. It is a loss. Whatever other people think, you were told you had another baby in there, that is a loss and you need to allow yourself to grieve. I am so sorry for what you are going through. :grouphug:

 

Exactly my thoughts too.

 

If your insurance company says to get a second opinion, then by all means, go get one! I've never heard of an ins company suggesting you have unnecessary procedures. As a parent, you always have to trust your gut instinct even if it is different from what your doctors tell you. So go get your second opinion. No matter what the outcome, you will at least be sure of what's going on.

 

We lost a triplet with a heartbeat between 8 and 9 weeks. No bleeding or other signs, and at later ultrasounds it was no longer seen. We did feel it was the loss of a tiny life, and my husband and I lit a candle together one evening and said a silent prayer to memorialize its passing. Although it wasn't an issue because we had only told a couple of people about the triplets, I would not expect others (even my mother) to view the loss in the same way we did.

 

Thank you to everyone for their kind words. We are going to seek a second opinion just for the sake of removing any doubt from the back of our minds, but we have pretty much come to accept the loss. I am now finding myself focusing on our remaining healthy little one and all our hopes and dreams for our new baby. I regret having to leave here, as you seem like such a wonderful group of women. I wish you all the best of luck with your babies!! Enjoy!

Kelly