Co-sleeping

Hi ladies (and guys)! I have noticed from related threads that some of you practice co-sleeping, either on a regular or ad hoc basis. I was hoping that those of you who do co-sleep could give me some advice. While I don't co-sleep with both my twins at the same time every night, I will occasionally bring one into the bed to help them fall back to sleep. We have an Arm's Reach co-sleeper next to the bed so it is easy to pick them up and put them back. However, I want to make sure that when they are in bed with us that it is safe. We can't put the mattress on the floor so that is out but I have ensured that there is no gap between the headboard and the mattress and I'm looking into getting bed rails or some variation thereof for ensuring that they don't roll off the bed. We also have a firm mattress and use a minimum of pillows and big blankets. I also found something called a Snug Tuck pillow that is a long tubular pillow that goes alongside the bed to keep children from falling out. Has anyone ever used this?? If not, what do you use? Any advice would be much appreciated!

 

When I started cosleeping with my first born I found something like you are talking about--that long pillow. I wanted one but we were young and not in a place at that time where we could shell out over $200 for a pillow!(that's how much it was at that time) What I did end up doing was finding two extra firm bolsters at biglots I layed a twin sheet on the bed and sandwiched the bolsters between it and we layed on top on the sheet(so the bolsters themselves couldn't go anywhere. it WORKED, but I didn't really LIKE the arrangement. Im one who likes to be able to have a leg or atleast a foot out of the covers of fthe edge of the bed, lol so I wasnt comfortable! What we wound up doing was buying a very basic "platform" bedframe. We didnt use the box springs just the mattress in the platform frame and the bed was now "maybe" 6" off the floor. It looked more "complete" than a mattress on the floor but thats basically what it was(our bed before that was one of those super high sleigh beds) anyway that worked great and for the record she never fell out. She would sleep between my partner and I and if she was up scooting around I was aware of her all the time anyway and usually kept a hand on her. NOW that I am pregnant again I am sorta torn about cosleeping idea. My first born mentioned above is still in my bed and shes 7! LOL. But honestly I say that like its a bad thing...I adore her snuggles and really don't mind and when we want space she can and does sleep in her own room and always starts out there.
Ok so back to now. Im loving the thread I started below about those who didnt do a nursery. Im thinking about putting a crib and a cosleeper in my room and possibly even an ambi baby hammock(in the closet/dressing area? anyway Im also thinking about just pushing the bed against one wall instead of floating in the middle of the room. I will still sleep on my side(opposite the wall) and have DP sleep against the wall. I can have the cosleeper on my side(obviously). This way when DP gets up and leaves for the day should the babes be in my bed they will be between me and the wall(and Id need to fill the specae so they cant fall between the mattress and the wall ofcourse.

OK that was my REALLY long winded response! GL!

 

We kept the babies on top of the covers, and DH and I each used our own, not fluffly blankets. Our house is small so the bed is pushed into a corner, up against two walls.
Really, the vast majority of babies in the world outside of the US and the other major English speaking countries sleep with their parents and they are perfectly safe. I know it's natural for a new mom to worry. But this is not something you really need to worry about.

 

Only thing I plan to co-sleep with is my dogs(just my paranoia).

I know a lot of people do it, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it...besides...their cribs are thier beds.

I may not be the norm, but nothing is 100% safe(no, not even a crib, I know), but I have no need to even take the chance on rolling over on one, or somehow possible smothering one.

Would it be an enjoyment and easier at times? Yep, but the fear keeps me away, and it not like a child has never been smotherd by a parent sleeping in the bed.

I know...I know, some will think I am being TOO paranoid, but if I can eliminate one possible hazzard, that's once less for my paranoid mind to have to worry about...LOL

 

I just put the babies in between my DH and myself. I cannot fall asleep deep enough not to be aware of their existence right next to us.
We only bring them to bed if they are really fussing and the noise would disturb others in our house.
We had our first born sleeping with us every day! until she was 4 months, then occasionally when she was really fussy or sick.
She is now 6, very content in her own room, fears nothing and does not want to sleep with us unless sick.

 

one of my girls co-slept with me and the other co-slept with my mother til they were about a year old, maybe a little earlier. we just kept them swaddled and i always slept on my back, with the baby cradled in the crook of my arm. when i woke up, it seemed as if i never moved during the night. it just became habit and i felt that they were perfectly safe. it was also nice with bonding. =)

 

I had fears of cosleeping, having read it was unsafe according to the academy of pediatrics. HOWEVER, I am a huge NON BELIEVER in the cry it out method, so naturally, when researching ways to get my first born daughter to sleep, I read several books on the subject. The US is one of the few countries that are against it, yet have one of the higher infant mortality rates. The academy ALSO recommends that twins not share the same sleep space.... which I find ridiculous, so frankly, my faith in that organization keeps dropping.... In Japan they cosleep, and have one of the lower rates. I read a book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution", which really helped make my decision. It is perfectly safe to cosleep, if you do it right. We put our mattress on the floor and pushed it up against one wall. My daughter slept near the wall, on top of the covers, next to me. She had a sleep sack on for warmth. I am a light sleeper, never go to bed drunk, and don't move to much when sleeping. Can't say the same for my hubby, hence my daughter sleeping next to the wall. LOL. Anyway, as long as you do it the right way, your child/dren will be fine! Just practice safe sleep arrangements and use your common sense.

 

I'm sorry, I can't let this go. Not true. The only recorded cases in this century of a parent smoothering a child in bed involved one (or more) of three things. Drugs, Alcohol, Extremely Obese Parent.

In previous centuries there were widely reported cases of parents smoothering their children in their sleep--it is now known that these were cover ups for infantcide. There were no reliable forms of birthcontrol and people had children they simply couldn't handle and no other options.
In the the 17th Century the church began to promote the idea of infants sleeping in cradles, bassinets, cribs, etc in order to try to curb the infantcide rate.

 

My main worry with co-sleeping isn't smothering, it's kids old enough to crawl on you and falling off the bed. Plus, how do you do when you put your kids in bed 3 hours before you go to bed?

 

I have coslept with all of mine at one point or another. They all started out in their crib at the beginning of the night but in the middle of the night, when they were babies, I would just pull them in bed with me. They slept better & I didn't mind having them there. I still have L&L in there off & on. Now they are big enough that they climb in on their own if they wake up in the night. When they were babies, I always kept them between me & my husband so I didn't have to worry about them falling off the bed. I was always really aware of the fact that they were in the bed with me & never worried about smothering them.

 

Before my first child was born, I swore that I would never ever co-sleep. That lasted about two weeks when we realized that my daughter would wake up and screaming everytime I put her back in her bassinet after nursing her. Co-sleeping saved our sanity and we've done some version of it with all of the kids. I do have the snug-tuck pillow and I love it. I got it through a deal four or five years ago and it's been worth every penny. When my kids are small, I either sleep with them in the crook of my arm, so that it's physically impossible for me to roll onto them, or I kindof doze sitting upright while they are nursing in the cradle hold on my pillow.

 

My main reason for not doing co-sleeping is because while I was pregnant, my husband and I decided that our bedroom and bed was for us, no one else. That is the only place in our house that doesn't have baby stuff laying around and we are able to maintain our intimacy with each other. :wub: The babies have their bedroom and we have ours.

Just do whatever is best and most comfortable for you.

 

I co slept with my oldest ds until he was about 10 months old pretty much every night. He would start out in the crib and partway through the night he'd end up in bed with me.

I co slept with my oldest dd until she was about 8 months old, same deal as my ds.

We partial co slept with the twins for the first 6-8 weeks.

I have one of the sleep chamber beds. I always put the babies on the outside of me, towards the edge of the bed, and their head rests on my outstretched arm which is then curled around their back. My other arm rests across their legs so I can feel any movement (and consequently wake up with every single movement!!). The bed is soft enough that they would roll towards me (I was very careful about how they were positioned, making sure they were facing upward and snugged up against me so they couldn't actually roll), but there was no way they could roll backwards until they developed enough strength in their body. By that time, I was transitioning them into their own bed.

I had to use CIO with my older two kids to break them of the co-sleeping habit, and I knew it wasn't possible to co-sleep with twins by myself (my hubby leaves for work at 5am, way before the rest of us get up). We were lucky in that our twin ds was content to sleep in the crib for the most part, unless he wasn't feeling well. It was just our twin dd who had colic and wouldn't sleep very well in the crib. So I slept with her pretty much every night, and dh would sleep with ds as needed. By 6-8 wks they were doing much better sleeping in the crib and we were able to train them to sleep there (no CIO they did fantastic transitioning).

 

I have co-slept with my DD since she was born. We had an Arms-Reach co-sleeper which we used, but she just was a HUGE snuggler and would sleep so much better in bed with us. She is now about to be 4. I did decide that the twins will not be co-sleeping, at least not regularly, as it is impossible to have 5 people in my bed.

I sleep well, but I'm also a very light sleeper. I never worried about rolling over her or smothering her. When she was itty bitty, we had her in a divider like thing that was in our bed. Then she was on the edge of the bed with a bed rail. We have been very happy - but there are NO signs of leaving anytime soon.

Niki

 

Just a personal preferance. It's just how I feel. I'm not here shaking my finger going "shame, shame" for those who do it...it's just my own paranoia about it. I know I am all over the bed when I sleep(restless sleeper), so I would just be worried I would roll over.

Maybe you should have let it go. I was trying to get in a debate, but you seriously believe that stat?!?!!? Ha. Not sure who told you talk false fact, but I was like "Really?!?! No way." I had to actually check it for myself...and I did. Here's the first link I pulled in when I googled "Babies Killed While Sleeping In Parents Bed"

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/hotstories/6133847.html

How about 170 from Sept 1,2007 to Aug 31, 2008. IN JUST TEXAS ALONE...and I'm pretty sure if yu read...not ALL of them are due to alcohol, drug, or obeseness. Accidents DOOOOOOOOO happen...not matter how safe one tries to be.

Epidemiologists at Texas’ health department, though, recently studied CPS’ co-sleeping death data for fiscal 2008 and found that adult caregivers used alcohol or illegal drugs in fewer than one of five infant deaths.

At least 170 children have died in the past year while sleeping with parents or an older child, a number that far surpasses drowning, long thought to be a leading cause of accidental child deaths, according to statistics released Wednesday by Texas Child Protective Services.

And JUST in case I am misquoted...let me post this again just to be sure...

I'm not here shaking my finger going "shame, shame" for those who do it...it's just my own paranoia about it.

 

With my first daughter I co-slept from 3 months-5 months b/c the first 3 I was too paranoid to do it! My mattress was on the floor and she slept in a moses basket next to me. At 3 months she seemed 'sturdy' enough to come to the bed, which made it much better as I BF her. This time with the twins I co-slept pretty much from the start b/c I was doing a lot of kangaroo care and just transitioned in. The way a friend of mine put it that made it click for me was about the differing cultural perspectives. Many cultures that co-sleep having the perspective, "you are so delicate, we need to keep you close" vs. western/us being, "you are so delicate, we need to put you in this contraption." I am a big advocate of personal preference so I don't think people should do anything other than what feels right for them, but I do feel wary of the institutional party lines like APA saying it isn't safe when that seems so unfounded. Just look at the recent stork crib recall. Anyway, I have been loving co-sleeping this time around and will continue until about 5-6 months. (that is the plan any how!)

 

just had to change my post as I reread your question - I realize you were asking for advice with co-sleeping and since I didn't - don't have any to add....oops!! ardon:

 

This story was in our Texas newspaper a week or so ago ... I was wondering if anyone else had seen it. It made me take note of the posted topic although all four of my kids of slept in their cribs from day 1 home from the hospital.

 

I didn't really plan on co-sleeping with the twins, and I worried a tiny bit that I would roll over on them. But as many of you know it is usually far easier to feed a baby when they are sleeping right beside of you. Plus at 2 months of age (or newborn age adjusted) my babies always fussed as soon as they were laid down in the mini-crib at the foot of our bed, so I started putting them in our king size bed beside of me. To keep them from rolling into the dip where I slept, I would sleep long ways in the bed and point them perpendicular to me side by side, and I had a good 6+ inches of space between me and them, so I could roll over to my side to face them and not worry about rolling ON them. During this time my DH slept in the guest room because I wanted plenty of room to ensure neither of us rolled over on them, plus he snores really bad, LOL. I co-slept with my boys for about a month, then I had a bad scare where Brandon spit up while laying on his back in bed and nearly choked. Luckily I wasn't in a deep sleep and heard him and was able to get him up and pat his back. After that I made sure Brandon slept in the mini-crib where there was an Angelcare monitor and I continued to let Colin sleep beside me. When the babies were about 4.5 months Brandon started STTN so we put him in his crib in the nursery, and put Colin in the mini-crib in our bedroom until he started STTN a few weeks later. I never really slept good with them co-sleeping with me. I felt like any little turn or cough I made would wake them up, plus I was paranoid about them sleeping in the bed. But co-sleeping definitely helped with the feedings every 2.5 - 3 hours.

As others have said, just do whatever you are comfortable with. There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping, nor is there anything wrong with putting your babies in a crib either. GL!

 

This is like fearing abuction when auto accidents are one of the biggest causes of childhood death in the US. You are fearing the wrong thing.
You can further breakdown the number of suffications by looking at 1, what is the general SIDS risk for that baby? Babies of smokers and for reasons still being researched AA babies have higher SIDS risks. Stomach sleeping, fluffy bedding, piles of clothes on the bed, use of waterbeds or other squishy matresses, falls from the bed, and sleeping with "an uninterested adult" are removed from "roll over" stories, but not this one. See http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11245994?dopt=Abstract/
Which is an academic article. Not a news story.
For light reading you can see what Dr. Sears has to say http://www.parenting.com/article/Baby/Health/Ask-Dr-Sears-Co-Sleeping-a-SIDS-Danger
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout1.asp

You can also think about the general infant mortality rates and the global cosleeping rates. SIDS is nearly unheard of outside of North America and Western Europe. The top five countries in terms of low infant mortality rates are Singapore, Bermuda, Sweden, Japan, and Hong Kong https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2091rank.html
And the countries with the highest precentage of cosleeping? China, Sweden, Hong Kong, Japan, Singapore.

 

I am not fearing the wrong thing. I fear many things. This is my personal choice and one that will remain. Even if there was some plastic bubble that could float above me and hold my kids and keeo them 100% safe, I would not do it. Their cribs are thier beds. It's a parenting choice first and foremost...

Oh no...I get what you are saying. Like I said, I WAS NOT, nor was I trying to get into a debate on wether I think it is right to do or not. That's why I specifically said it is my own paranoia, and that many kids HAVE died that way(without drugs, alcohol or obeseness involved). All I am saying is that for you to come back and say that NOT ONE SINGLE CHILD has died where alcohol, drugs or obeseness involved...come on...that was a bit of a stretch. Of course there are many other factors that could cause it. Am arm alone is enough to smother a child. Accidents just happen

Many kids have died many other ways in just daily things as well, but FOR ME, if I can 100% remove a chance of accidental injury or death in some way, I will. One thing to check off my list..."Kids have died while sleeping in a bed...kids wont sleep in MY bed...CHECK"

That was all...just saying one of the reason why "I" wont do it.

And yes...I can beleive why co-sleeping is popular in some of those countries, and not all of it has to deal with people "thinking it is best". I lived in the Philippines for 4 years and I can tell you that the majority of the people co-slept...not because they thought it was better, but that most people in Countries like that live and sleep in VERY small huts or houses.

Just like I wont have my kids ever ride in my 69 Chevelle. Did people that were kids when I growing up do it? Of course, but my reason is because my car only has lap belts. I don't feel those are as safe as shoulder belts. We have come a long way in safety and there is a reason cars aren't made with lap belts anymore.

 

And yes...kids have died in cribs also. You can't remove every risk. In fact they are many dangers with kids, that you just have to accept as inherant risks. That's just life and nothing you can really do or change, but co-sleeping is one I wont have to worry about.