ok seriously?

i get really annoyed when strangers, even family members put my kids hands near their mouths or kiss their faces. i'm not a germaphobe or anything but with all this flu stuff going around i can't afford to have two sick babies. so last night, at thanksgiving dinner, i politely told my MIL (and everyone else who wanted to hold my kids for that matter) not to kiss their arms, hands or faces because of all of the germs that are going around......well, this lit a fire under someone because MIL went outside and started crying telling her daughter (who already hates me) that i made this new rule up just for her and then proceeded to completely ignore me for the next 4 hours and roll her eyes everytime i mentioned something the boys might like, for example alex's new favorite word is hello and he lights up when you say it to him...did she listen? nope, rolled her eyes and completely ignored me. the sad part is, when she has a problem with me she gets the entire family against me and then everyone has a problem with me and ignores me.

and all i was trying to do was prevent the kids from catching colds!! way to go for family fun time!

anyone else have problems like these when trying to protect LO's from people touching them?

 

i went through a stage where i was so paranoid about the swine flu but now that we all have been vaccinated and its had time to kick in i feel better. but i still worry a bit in public since the babes are too young to get vaccinated. i hate it when strangers touch them or get in close! you have every right to protect your babes with everything going around right now. it's too bad she took it personally.

 

I was the same way last year, and my in-laws are such an old school, huggy/kissy family. I tried my hardest to put some rules in place, but they always seemed to "forget" or I felt like they thought I was a lunatic. Last Christmas my MIL was holding my daughter and another one of her grandkids came up to play with my daughter. I was already a little leery of this girl because her sister stayed home sick that day. Out of the corner of my eye I see this girl kiss my daughter on the mouth and I nearly had a stroke. It was like I was running in slow motion and I couldn't get there fast enough to snatch her away. I was so annoyed that my MIL didn't see anything wrong with it. And I felt bad that I probably offended her by snatching her away like that. But you have to be an advocate for your kids and do what you feel is right, no matter what position it puts you in. I have to say now that my kids are a little older I have eased up and don't freak out as much about stuff like that. So it will get a little easier to manage over time.

 

I have had the same issue with having to remind people to wash their hands and asking them not to bring their children over-everyone seems to get offended/take it personal, like I'm saying they are dirty or diseased! LoL! It sounds like with the issues you have with MIL/DH's family, it would be best to let him be the bad guy and lay the ground rules next time? Let them get mad at him not you.

 

I am the exact same way. When people start coming over to say hello, I have to say "no touching the babies." Some people just don't have any boundaries.

Funny story...when my DD was first born (35 weeks, 13 days in NICU) my in-laws came over. I was telling everyone they HAD to wash their hands. I was kind of a NAZI about it. Anyway, my FIL went to use the restroom and he came out and asked if he could hold the baby. I was on auto pilot and said "Did you wash your hands?" He looked at me like I had asked him if he had cured his leparsy and said "of course I did!" HE thought I was accusing him of not washing hands after he used the restroom and not me just telling EVERYONE to wash their hands.

Niki

 

Eh, I let family and friends kiss my babies. :tomato: Especially on a holiday!

 

Me, too!

 

I don't only make everyone wash their hands, but handsanitize them as well! if they want to touch any of my babies.
Am I a lunatic? Probably. Do I care if people think I am one? No. None of them will have to go through the hardache if anything happens to any of them. So no kissing or touching my babies' face and hands.

 

Strangers and acquaintances, I always asked them to wash their hands and please don't touch their hands and faces as they tend to put their hands in their mouth, especially during the cold/flu season.

Family and close friends, I always asked them to wash their hands (when the babies were little and it was cold/flu season), but I did not say a word when anyone kissed them (little cousins included).

I always try to remember that I'll be a MIL one day and I sure hope my DILs don't have a problem with me kissing my grandbabies! As hard as it is not to be paranoid, you have to weigh the concerns. Flu is definitely a danger and I would not have a problem asking family not to kiss a baby on the mouth or something, but a grandparent who is head over heels about their new grandchildren? I can't imagine asking them not to touch or kiss their hands and faces. :tomato:

Just me, though.

 

Same here. The first month they were born I kept hand sanitizer by the front door and people sanitized before touching them. But for the girls' first Thanksgiving they were only 4 weeks old and we brought them to both my parents house and my IL's house and I didn't have any kissing/touching restrictions. We all survived!

 

I just wanted to say ditto! To the bolded part for sure!! I also could never imagine saying to my family or dh family to not kiss the babies... I also took my 6 week old twins into a nursing home so their nana could kiss all over them... I'm so glad I did since she died a week later... To each their own though.

 

I'm with Snittens, I let my family kiss them.....unless someone is really sick, then I tell them to stay away. Sometimes a few germs are good for kids, helps build their immune system.....protect them too much and they get sick walking out the door!

 

Many viruses are air borne (particularly H1N1), so if you don't want your babies exposed to any germs, you probably shouldn't be around any other people. IMO, babies should be cuddled and kissed by their close family members.

 

I very much agree with this.

IMO, part of keeping babies healthy, both mentally and physically, is making sure they are surrounded with love and positive attention from the multiple people who care about them. Cuddles, kisses, etc are all a part of that. This is just my opinion.

Strangers are one thing, and certainly if someone is sick they should not be around the babies. But I agree babies should be cuddled by their families.

 

I agree. It would NEVER have even crossed my mind!

I made people wash their hands up until their due dates but that's where that ended.

They are going to get sick NO MATTER WHAT and it is hard but it's life. Kids/Babies getting sick is just not something YOU (or anyone) can prevent.

Sorry.

I never worried about that kind of stuff and we are all still here!! And VERY healthy and happy!!

(mine were 35 weekers too.)


I'm sorry that happened that way and they could not respect your wishes. That is hard when ILs are soo difficult.

 

I agree about strangers or people you do not know very well....but I let my family members kiss and hug as much as they want - as long as no one is sick. Our babies were born at 34 w 6 days and have not been sick. I wash my hands a lot and make sure that I wash theirs after we have been out. A few germs, yes, will help strengthen their immune systems...

That being said, I gave the babies a bath as soon as we got home from Thanksgiving! hee hee! (my SIL smokes and her house made us all stinky! Plus, the germs........)

I am sorry your inlaws were difficult. Holidays can be tricky!

 

Same here! My family would be pretty mad if I didn't let them and I would be too if I couldn't kiss my niece or nephew. ardon: They get sick whether or not they get kissed, it does spread through the air.

 

EXCELLENT reminders!!!! We will no doubt be MIL's someday, too. Personally speaking, telling me I couldn't kiss my grandbaby would be a surefire way to cause a less-than-pleasant holiday experience for any DIL of mine. Time to put the personal issues aside and let those babies be loved on by their family.

Eve

 

The moment I stepped into any family member's home, my babies would be whisked out of my arms, hugged, kissed and passed around. DH and I could have walked in naked, they would not have noticed. :laughing: We were lucky if we got them back for even a moment after that. Everyone wanted to feed them, change them, rock them to sleep at nap time.. And, none of that bothered us, because it was no different from what every child in our family experienced.

Sometimes, we tend to forget that grandparents raised their own kids well enough to produce another generation of offspring in the family. They know a little bit about stuff like germs, illness, and **gasp** child rearing! Unless they're obviously dirty/unhealthy (and forgetful) people, they don't IMO need to be told (however politely) not to touch/kiss/hug their own grandchildren.

 

There may be some truth in that statement with full term babies, but my pediatrician would definitely not recommend exposing our preemies to germs, even family members...

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking people to wash their hands. My mom wasn't always the best at this and needed to be reminded in the early days.

Aside from that, leave them in their infant seats? This keeps people from passing them around.

At the end of the day, they are your kids. Don't do what makes you uncomfortable. It really isn't any fun having two sick babies at the same time.

Regarding your MIL, that's just an entirely different issue. Good luck with that...

 

since the boys were premature by a month the PICU pedi AND my regular pedi said no one but mommy and daddy can kiss their faces or anything they put in their mouths simply because their immune systems haven't fully developed. they don't have my immunities because i've never breastfed them.

i did not have a no touching or hugging or playing rule you just had to wash your hands first. the boys had already been sneezing and coughing more than usual so i didn't want to risk them getting sick when there were 10+ people there that night.

next year won't be a big deal, they will be over a year old and have the option to get the vaccines.

it definetly wasn't a personal jab at her because i said the same thing, as did DH, to anyone that wanted to play with the babies. she just took it personal and thought i was using it as some sort of power/control trip with her.

 

Fully agree.

 

Yes, don't expose babies to people who are sick, but give family a little latitude. We insisted everyone wash their hands in the hospitals but after that family enjoyed. My kids were not early, but they got loved. To each their own though.

 

Same here, I can't imagine telling them that they couldn't!!!

 

I think what your IL's did was despicable.
That being said I would never think to tell someone they couldn't kiss the babies but I didn't ask anyone to do anything except in the hospital; that includes washing their hands. Most people did anyway but I'm sure not all; I just didn't remember to tell every single person before they touched the babies. I think you need to find a balance where they're allowed to kiss your babies but not on the mouth kind-of-thing. Too many rules makes people resentful.

My personal opinion is that your MIL went waaay too far and her actions make me furious. I would not have stayed and neither would my husband.