Too Early for Cry It Out Method

The twins are about to turn 2 months on Saturday. I was thinking about adapting this method. But I was thinking that it was too early for them. They feed basically every three to four hours. Eating about 4-6 ounces every feeding. The only thing is that their schedule kinda changes at night. They wake up at 1:45am- 2am and again about 3:30 am. Can I use this method to lose the 1am feeding. What do you guys think. I know we are going to use it when they turn 4 months for sure or 3 months but I just feel like the do need to eat but I do need my sleep also.

Thanks

 

I think it's way too early. Babies that age need to know you are there for them when they cry. At 6 weeks we went through a big crying phase and I think there is a difference b/c leaving the babies crying in the crib to trying to comfort them while they are crying (even if it is unsuccessful). You are at a very exhausting stage, but push through and you will be rewarded! I wouldn't drop a feeding at that age either. Were your babies in the NICU?

 

I didnt vote in your poll since I didnt CIO or think about CIO at that age. I am sure that people dont like reading my anti-CIO at such a young age posts but here goes another one. Your babies are so young. And if they are waking in the middle of the night, they are probably hungry. So, get up and keep feeding them. Having newborns is hard. I dont understand why alot of MoMs on here think that they are entitled to sleep all night at 8 weeks. Of course, we all WANT to sleep. But when you have little babies, you cant. It's not like you didnt know that going into it. ardon: Help me understand.

ETA: clarity

 

I couldn't vote cuz I was unsure how.

We did do CIO a couple times for naps *in SERIOUS situations of overtiredness, never at night.

I would NEVER do it that early tho. I think the EARLIEST would be five months and that is ONLY if they are at a good weight and NOT eating at night anyway.

Hope that helps!!

 

During the first 3 months I had to feed my babies every 3 hours days and nights. I know how difficult it is to wake-up in the middle of the night with 2 babies to feed. We were advised by different persons to use this method when the boys were as little as 40 days. We simply couldn't do it. Our boys were born at 35 weeks and spent one/two weeks in the NICU so they needed to be fed on regular basis to gain weight. The pedi told us to give them formula every 3 hours and then by themselves they will start sleeping through the night. That's what indeed happened started 4 months though.

Yesterday one of my boys remained waking up till 1 AM. Either because of teething or because he has slept enough during the day!!!! So the CIO method crossed my mind, but up till now at least, I have never tried it.

 

I did do CIO but not at 2 months of age. I do believe they recommend you wait until 6 months of age to do it. :good: Even at 6 months of age, I would only get rid of a feeding if they were not eating the whole bottle. If they are getting up and taking 6 oz, then they are hungry and aren't doing it out of habit. I know it's hard to get up with them so much but this too shall pass. :hug: I think right now they need those nutrients and aren't ready to sleep through the night.

 

As long as mine were eating at night when they woke up crying I fed them. Mine got to a point around 6 months old when they wouldn't take their bottle during the night anymore, they just played with it b/c they weren't hungry. At that point I did CIO. I had to know that I wasn't depriving them of food, kwim?

 

I did not vote because none of the options applied to me. I do believe 2 months is too young for CIO. I also believe the recommendation is 6 months until you do it. I did not do CIO until my kiddos were 7 months old and that was for naptime. At 2 months waking in the middle of the night is probably not a habit thing but they are still hungry. If your pedi thinks the weights are good, I would feed on demand at night and they will eventually start to drop those night feedings on their own. Hang in there Momma, I know it's tough on not enough sleep :hug:

 

Ah, I remember those. Days just two months ago! No, it is too early and I learned they will drop that feeding when they are good n ready. Trying to do CIO before then will only escalate cries at this pt-they need the middle of night feeds-mine at 4mos still need 1 at 2ish

 

2 months is WAY too early for CIO. I did CIO with my 3 boys, and am a big believer in it, but I would not do it with a baby under 6 months(my kids were 6, 8, and 9 months when I did it). By 6 months, my babies were rolling, able to get their own pacis and put them in....much more independent than a 2-3-4 month old that relies on you for every single thing. I know you are tired, we all were, but please reconsider, and don't do it now.

Are they taking full feedings both times that they wake during the night? If not, I would try a paci/patting/etc, and feed them at their normal 3-4 hour mark.

 

I haven't done CIO yet but have considered doing it, but probably not until my boys are at least 6 months. When my babies were that age the thought never crossed my mind. I was the sole caregiver at night for our boys from the time they were 2 months to almost 4 months old. And they often times wouldn't even make it to 3 hours at night before waking to feed, usually they only made it 2.5 hours. Sure it sucked feeding 2 babies every 2.5 to 3 hours throughout the night by myself, but I knew they needed those calories. Like other PPs have said, they will drop those middle of the night feedings when they are ready. One of our boys started STTN about 4 or 5 weeks ago, and the other started STTN a couple of weeks after that. So I promise that day will eventually come! Although, our original good STTNer did wake up last night at 11pm, I think due to bad gas. I initially tried just holding him and soothing him, but he was squirming and starting to "yell" so I gave him a bottle and he sucked all 5 oz down in 10 minutes. Perhaps he didn't really NEED that bottle, since he can regularly go 10+ hours at night with no bottle, but I just couldn't let him CIO, especially since he is only about 3 months adjusted.

 

Thanks for the reply.

My twins didnt spend anytime in the NICU they were born 35 weeks and 4 days.

I thought I would ask. I have a friend who is doing this method for their 5 week old.

She suggested it for me. But I wanted to ask other moms.

Because her daughter really cries at night for a feeding and to be held.

I wont be doing this.

I love and thoroughly enjoy holding my babies!!!!

 

:shok: That is just crazy. And sad.

 

That disgusts me. :cry:

 

You are joking right? This is plain wrong!

 

I agree with everyone, 2 months is way too early. My boys are same age as yours and just yesterday they only woke up for 2 feedings, 1 am and 4.30 am ahh I feel so refreshed today :ibiggrin: At this age they wake up because they are hungry. I did notice with Brandon that for past week he was only taking half of his 10pm feeding. I don't know if last night was just a fluke but it sure felt great to sleep for 5 hrs undistrubed. Hang in there I know its tough I am right there with you. I don't know if we will be so lucky tonight.

 

I'm so happy to hear this. :hug: :hug: It is tough at this age, but they do grow up so fast so take a deep breathe and hold them and love them. :wub: Five weeks is way too young, and I don't think there is any situation where it should be done at that age. Good for you for knowing it's just too young.

 

:thanks: Do not drop feeding until you children drop them or they reach a major mile stone. Infants under six months need to eat based on their individual body clock.
Like DATJmom said, of course you'd like more sleep, who wouldn't? But this is a year out of a lifetime of being a parent. You children will eventually sleep through the night and the fist year will just be a tiny blip in parenthood. You'll all be happier if they grow up knowing mommy is there when they need her, and they won't know that if you are not there for them now.

 

I know you have said you won't be doing it (that's great!), but I wanted to add my opinion for anyone else thinking about it. I feel 2 months is WAY too early for CIO. I did CIO with all of my kids but not until at least 6 months. At this age, they need to eat in the night & they need to know that Mommy or Daddy is there for them if they cry. All mom's are tired at 2 months, but it's part of being a mom. Your babies need you.

 

I do not CIO and have no plans to do it, but I guess we won't know until the time comes! I would never say that this "disgusts me" though. Your friend has a right to CIO with her baby since he/she is her baby. Babies just cry sometimes. Since I am home 24/7 I have no issue waking up every 2-3 hours at night because I can nap during the day, but I think CIO can save people's sanity. While 2 months is probably a little young for your LOs to have learned to self soothe, its ultimately up to you! My girls are 3.5 months and still need to eat 2 or 3 times during the night. Good luck mama

 

As much as I would love to implement CIO at 2 months, I just can't justify doing so at such a young age. I will be waiting until at least my pedi recommends it or around 5-6 months. We are fortunate in that the girls dropped a nighttime feeding on their own a couple of weeks ago and now go 5-7 hours between feeds at night (i.e. if they eat at 10:30pm they will not eat again until 3:30am/4:30am/5:30am and sometimes a bit longer). They continue to eat every 3-4 hours during the day. That has been a huge relief for me because I am on my own during the "graveyard shift". They have been on the same eating/sleeping schedule from the start so that also helps. Best of luck - we will get through this!!

 

CIO is a method to help babies learn how to sleep. It's not a method to deprive babies of food, and when it's being used like your friend with her 5 week old, that's what it becomes. There is a huge difference between a growing newborn who needs food and an eight month old who's gotten in the habit of waking up at night and wanting attention.

 

Exactly!

Babies, especially babies under 4-6 months, wake at night for a reason. They need fed, they need to be reassured, they need to know that someone is there when they "call". It is exhausting, it sometimes feels like you will never get a full night's sleep - but it ends and you'll be (occasionally) longing for those middle of the night cuddle sessions. In a blink of an eye those newborns will be off to kindergarten, try to think in terms of how short this time is and not in terms of how exhausted you (general) are. Sleep deprivation is part of the early months of parenting - they go hand in hand. A newborn (5 weeks :cry shouldn't be punished b/c a parent is exhausted. It is hard, but sleep will come! :hug:

 

Great post!

Five weeks... Good Lord! :headbang:

 

Hi there,
Hang in there. This is a really tough time at 2 months. We didn't do sleep training until 12 months. I wish we would have done it a bit earlier, maybe 8 or 9 months? You are definitely doing the right thing, mama! It's hard to be on call all night long. Do you have any help during the day? I had a mother's helper (less expensive than a nanny) come in a few afternoons a week so I could rest. I usually never left the house, I would just try to take a nap! Do whatever you can to take a break. You need it!
take care, Beth

 

:woah: Saying that is way too young as an understatement. That poor little baby

 

Of course she has a right. But the thought of someone letting a 5 week old baby just lay there and exhaust themselves to sleep...well disgusts me. Sorry. :bad:

:good:

 

I agree with what everyone has already said- though I think babies always cry for a reason and don't believe that babies sometimes cry just to cry. Just my personal opinion.

Mine are 5 months, EBF, and I would love to have a stretch of sleep longer than 2 hours, but I just accepted when I decided to have kids that sleep deprivation comes with the territory. I haven't been in the States long, but I have to say that I am amazed at the obsession here with STTN at such young ages. DH and I made the decision that we would not deny/eliminate any night feedings before they start solids and we were confident they were not needing the feed for calories or nutrition. We definitely have phases where they wake very often, and others, like now thank goodness, where they are only waking twice. At this point, I assume if they wake fully it is because they need to eat. It is tough- that's for sure- but their smiles and squeals during the day more than make up for it for me.

 

Two months is way too early. I think most people say to wait until 6 months to do CIO but I didn't do it until my twins were 9 months old to STTN. Before then they still needed to eat in the middle of the night. I was in my first trimester of pregnancy and exhausted. Waking every 2-4 hours (they never woke at the same time) was killing me. I tried many other methods but it was a few days of CIO that did the trick. I hated doing it. I am not a big fan of CIO but it did work and I used it as a last resort. That said - I'd try some other methods that do not involve crying when they are so young and also need to make sure that they are eating when they need to eat. For now - try to go to sleep when they do if you can and know that there is an end in sight (trust me...I had a very rough first 4 months with sleep issues and was in pain and SO tired). It does get better. Good luck!

 

There are many other things you can try before CIO. Mine eat 24 oz during the day so they sleep a very long clip at night, after I do a dream feed. Also, some nights they go until 6am, other nights they go until 3am. Despite all of that, I still would not CIO because they are too young and if they are waking up at night, hungry, then they need to eat. I could not imagine doing it at 5 weeks. That poor baby, it makes me sad to think someone would do that.

 

I let DS CIO during the day at times, but never in skipping a feeding or in the middle of the night.

I was advised by the nurses that these kids were VERY spoiled in the NICU...held...held...held(sometimes held a whole shift). While I feel that is great, now that he is home he wants that all the time(don't worry...he gets PLENTY of holding time), I'll let him CIO. It lasts less than 10-15 min. then he is out like a light.

But then again...is he 4 months old, or under 2 weeks? Ha

 

I did not vote in the poll either because I, personally, will not do CIO regardless of age, and that was not an option listed. But I know for some parents it has worked well when their babies are older, and I know that disagreeing with CIO is a controversial subject.

But I agree with most posters that two months is way too early. My thoughts are that at that age they don't even really know those hands at the bottom of their arms actually belong to their own body, you know? If they don't even know they have hands how could they possibly learn to self-soothe?
And crying is essentially their *only way* to communicate at that age.

To quote a pervious poster:
... but I have to say that I am amazed at the obsession here with STTN at such young ages.

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I totally agree.

I have always understood that it is normal for babies to wake up multiple times a night when they are young. Their sleep patterns--just like their brains, their bodies, etc---are unlike adults. It is sooooo exhausting. I agree. There have been many times when I get up at night and feel like I could just pass out. But it always helps me during these times to remember that they simply can't help their night wakings when they are so young.

And I agree with other posters. These days will be over before we know it. I remind myself, at three in the morning, that I will be thankful I was always there when they cried--even if I thought it was going to kill me in the process. haha.

 

...My heart just sank...Poor baby and even though I should never judge other mothers but your friend is a monster!

Also, 2 months is way too early. I did CIO for my twins but at 5 months (4 months adjusted from their due date) and it was for MAJOR sleep issues like not wanting to go to sleep, not wanting to be placed in the crib, not able to go to sleep without rocking, waking up every 1-2 hours at night and a whole lot of other sleep related issues and not just to eliminate feedings at night because I was tired. It worked great.

Oh and it was not just simply CIO. We tried that one night an it was not right for my baby's character and for us so we did "Ferber" where we went in ever 5 min, 10 min, 5 min etc and comforted by stroking their head and replacing pacifier but not picking up.

 

He's 2 weeks adjusted. IMO, you have to take that into account when these issues come up. There is absolutely zero reason to let a 2 week old baby CIO for 10-15 minutes. or any amount of time, for that matter, on purpose.

 

So it's not just me...LOL. That is just like Merrick, except he sleeps like a rock at night (a good 4 1/2 to 5 hours without waking), but during the day it's a whole other story. He wants to be up, help, walked around with and DOES NOT like being placed in his crib. He's getting better at it though.