2 gifts or 1!?

Hi there, I have a question and I just knew this forum would be the best place for me to ask. A and M began school and received a bday invite from a classmate. I was telling a Twin Mommy friend and she asked, "Do you send 1 gift or 2?" I really don't know.

What do you all think?

 

I haven't run into this yet but I think that you could just send one. I don't see a problem with it and if you want you could spend just a little more than you would normally with one child but you probably don't have to. I am interested to see what others do

 

Two gifts. They can compliment one another but I imagine you would want each guest to have their own cake, their own goodie bag, etc. So each guest should bring their own gift. imnsho.

 

It depends on the gift I give. I either try to spend 8-15 on one gift from each or 25-30 if it is from both. I have also bought one more expensive gift with a smaller gift, so that each kid has a gift to bring.

 

To answer this I tried to think of what families with kids different ages would do. Everyone I've ever known has typically only given one gift per family, not kid. So, this is what we do with the twins. One gift from our family.

 

It would really depend on what the kids wanted to get for their classmate. If they wanted something small I'd go for 2 gifts and if they wanted something big i'd go for one.

 

I usually decide on how much i want to spend. Then depending I either get one gift or 2.

 

Thanks, for all your responses. I really appreciate your help. Here is my latest thinking.

Tell me what you think.

When it is time for my kids to invite this child to their birthday party wouldn't each of my kids get a gift?====== real question not rhetorical. How would it feel if only one of my children got a gift? or if they always got gifts "to share"?

When we go to twins' birthday parties we bring 2 gifts- one for each birthday child- not 2 for each child ie....one from my DD and one from my DS for each twin. So in that sense it is "from the family- the twins"

If the parents are spending $XYZ on each guest attending at a party venue then they are paying for 2 guests ( where I live that could be up to $66+++ dollars.) Should we aim to cover some of our 2 admissions?



OOOOWWWW my head hurts. did I just think of 1, 2 or 4 gifts,hhahahahaahahhaaa? Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :unknw:

 

We always send 2 gifts. They are paying for 2 children to attend the party (goody bags, invites, paper products, rental of facility if they are having it somewhere else, etc.). That is what we're comfortable doing.

 

I just get one but I try to spend a little more than I normally would (say, $20-30 rather than $10-15).

As a side note, it's hard for me to judge what a "normal" amount for a birthday present is, since I think most of the ones my girls get from their friends are sort of scaled-up in this same way. Most people give them one shared gift (which is totally fine with me and with A&S), but I suspect they spend a little more than they would if it were just for one kid.

My kids just had their "friends" party today -- we said "no gifts please," but still got a few. Two were shared gifts (art supplies, in both cases), and one person got them each a Charlie & Lola sticker book -- so, separate gifts, but fairly inexpensive.

 

Happy birthday 2.5 days early to your little darlings.



Thanks, ladies for you help.

 

This is the way I have always thought about it. When we go to parties, we take 2 gifts...one from each of the twins. I always figured if that child attended the twins bday party they would bring a gift for each (not one to share). If that parent is buying 2 gifts essentially, then I need to reciprocate with 2 gifts.

 

I think I'd do one gift from each child, or one larger gift from both if that seemed most appropriate for the receiving child.

However, we've had families with multi-aged kids come and bring just one gift from the family. Our kids are young though... I *think* the school-age parties might fall under different "rules".

Good luck!

 

We almost always give two gifts: I hope that it will help people to separate 'the twins' into two individuals and thus give two gifts to our kids (one for each of them) although that doesn't always work out. We always do this with the kids' friends.

The exception is with MY old friends - when I'M giving the gift to the child, not the girls. It's hard to explain, but I would be giving a gift to my friends' kids whether or not I had children of my own. So it's a nice present and it comes from us as a family. Otherwise, to children in their preschool and so on, we give two gifts - one from each girl.

 

We have our first "friend" birthday party and we plan on taking two gifts. :good:

 

We always take two gifts. I would be livid if invited to our boys' party, they brought only one gift. So we model how we want our kids to be treated and always bring a gift from each one.

 

We always take 2 gifts to a friends bday. :good:

 

Thanks, again for all you thoughts. I love this site!!!!!!!!! and the great giving ladies on here. :FIFblush:

 

I do think giving the gifts is different than receiving the gifts. So to say, "well, wouldn't you want each twin to receive his/her own gift?" is not really a good analogy. Just me, but I know others feel differently.

When we have had parties and siblings have come (a 4 year old and 2 year old lets say), they give each kid one gift. The gift is from the family. Well to me, it is no different if we go to a party. Our family brings one gift. This is what we do for our neighbors, cousins, and family friends. For twins, we bring two gifts. And again, they are from the family. Otherwise, we would be bringing four gifts, two from each child!!!

HOWEVER...to me, school parties fall under a different catergory. We usually spend $20 on a gift, so when B&H go to a school friend's party, they each bring a $10 gift. In those instances, I do try and bring two gifts.

 

If it is a family friend that we are invited to we do either two smaller gifts or on larger that we spend a little more. Up until recently it has normally been on larger but, then, we have received on larger gift for the two of them in the past, not ideal, but what are you going to do. As they have gotten older and they understand more we have gone towards two gifts, if it is a class friend, they are both invited as friends not as a family so two gifts.

 

Family friends where all of us are invited to the party - that would be 1 gift from all 5 of us. When we have birthday parties for our kids, our family friends don't bring a gift from each of their children, they bring a gift for each of our children, from their entire family. A kids' party with friends from school (still a few years off for us) - I would give a gift from each child.

 

We always did one gift when we were growing up, but it was typically more expensive if I remember. But I guess where I am from we don't do goody bags and all that stuff so it's not that big a deal.

 

If it's a family's child's birthday or even a child of a friend of mine...one larger gift from us as a family (good grief...for me to purchase three gifts from each of my kiddos...whew). For a school friend, I would purchase a gift from each of my children attending the party.

 

We usually give one gift, or maybe a couple of smaller gifts, but always from us as a family (even if it's 2 items, it's not one from each child).

I feel absolutely no obligation to give a bigger gift if the party is held at an expensive venue (my feeling about kid parties, weddings, anything). The host chooses the type of party the family wants. If they want to spend $100 pp on a kids party, that is their choice, I don't we need to subsidize it.

At this age, I don't think the children notice who gives what gift. We were at a birthday party yesterday for a 5-year-old. Each gift got ripped open, looked at for a total of 3 seconds, then tossed aside for the next one. It's all about getting stuff.

We have so far had all birthday parties as "no gifts". Last year we collected donations of used clothing and toys to donate. I've been hoping that other parents might follow the lead, but they haven't. Not sure how long we can keep this up before our children start to protest. They really don't need any more things - we don't have room for everything they have, and almost anything new only holds their attention for a few days, then it's back to Legos.

-Rachel

 

Amen! I don't think it's a quid pro quo. I decide what to give and how much to spend, and other parents are free to do the same.

It was weird though -- we handed out "parting gifts" (not really a goody bag, it was just one small thing) at A&S's party, and a couple of parents were confused because we had said "no gifts." They couldn't understand why we were giving them something. But I see them as totally separate things -- the parting gift is to thank them for attending (and give the kids a treat to help ease the transition), not a financial exchange for the gift they gave us.

 

We've always had each twin bring a gift. As others have said, since I want people to look at each of my girls as individuals, I would feel funny treating them as a unit when it's in my favor. I think the act of each of them giving a gift is more important than the amount spent - we make a big deal out of each of them handing over the gift and saying Happy Birthday. As a single mom, the gift thing could get expensive, so when I find good deals on age-appropriate toys, I buy a few of them and put them away for birthday gifts (i.e., Toys r' Us had a sale on pre-school games for $4, regularly $10-$15, so I bought a few). I have also done as others said and brought one large gift, but then always with a smaller item as well so both girls are giving something.

When we go to twin birthdays, as we sometimes do, it's like the perfect storm of gift-giving - we bring four gifts. One for each twin from each twin.

Best,
Mia