How long do you give them to eat a meal?

Oh the lovely joys of feeding times! Lately, the boys will sit at the table and just stare at their food! It's not that they are playing with their food. It sits there and they take a bite or two. Then totally ignore it for a few minutes...maybe go back to it...maybe continue to ignore the food. What's the deal?

DH thinks after 10-20 minutes we should take their plates away-without warning. I tend to think otherwise, but am not exactly sure on what I think! LOL! Nicholas will sit at the table for an HOUR before he is ready to give up his plate! He won't eat, for a good 10 minutes, but the MINUTE you take that plate away-he FREAKS out! He will take one bite-and be done again!

I was never warned of this "game!" LOL!

So-how long would you/do you give them to eat?

 

I just ask them "are you done eating?" and if they say no then I let them keep eating. If they stop again, I ask again and also gently warn that if they aren't going to eat then we are going to put the plate away. Ultimately, with my guys, if they want to eat they will and if they don't, they won't really eat much, no matter how long I let them stare at the plate. GL - it sure is annoying!!

 

:gah: I hate mealtime battles. They are so frustrating. I agree with Erin, I ask if they are done. If they say no, I leave it. If they get up and walk away I dont ask. I just pick it up and move on. I wouldnt give my kids anymore than 30 minutes at the table. If I can avoid a battle, I do.

 

Ditto. If they are obviously playing I warn them that mealtime is almost over. I tend to give 20ish minutes but if they are actively eating as the meal is winding down I let them continue to eat. As soon as they start messing around though, it's time to get up from the table. Just like when they were infants, I have to sort of "read" them to see if they are still hungry and putzing or if they are really done.

 

We gave them until we were all finished dinner, so that's maybe about 20 min. or so. Once everyone else was finished we assumed they were done too. I thought that was plenty of time. ardon:

 

I've never timed it, but when they stop eating and start playing (with their food/utensils/cups/each other/etc), I ask if they are done. I usually try to get them to take one more bite though because sometimes they get caught up in playing and forget they are actually hungry. So sometimes that one last bite leads to them eating more or even finishing.

 

I don't think mine would care if you took their plate! I wouldn't do it without warning though. After a couple minutes of them not eating I will try to encourage them by putting a bite on a spoon and setting it on their plate or feeding it to them. That can get things going again. Our dinners are around 20-30 minutes in general. I can usually tell when they are really done, but I wouldn't sit there much longer than that if they weren't eating even if I though they needed more. I would just push the issue by asking if they want to eat or want to get down. If they don't eat, then they get down - again not without warning though.

 

Hi Meg,
I have one that does too.
Aviva will sit and sit and not eat or take a couple of bites every few minutes but when I say "honey are you all done"? she will either reply "all done" or "still eating" most of the time it is "still eating" and she does she is just slow. (and occasionaly she eats so fast I can't believe it)
She is also the one to linger when we are walking somewhere; she is just kind of busy in her own little world and gets to things eventually.
I don't believe in rushing them when they eat (although sometimes it is inconvenient) and I actually like that they go at their own pace; it's like you can watch them developing their own "person" right in front of your eyes.

Pick your battles, it could be worse.

Leslie

 

Im glad you asked this. My 3yr olds are a challenge sometimes too.. Mainly DS. Yesterday was the prime example. He had about half a bowl of dinner left and I kept telling him to eat. He had more than anyone else left halfway through, and he is always a slow eater. He was watching everyone else, and playing with his empty cup, etc. I left the kitchen to help my oldest with his homework and I hear DF giving DS2 a yogurt. I asked if he finished ALL of his food and he said yes. HOW did he eat all of that food that fast, when he had been playing the whole time I was in there???

I try not to put a time limit on them, because Im sure they would eat if they werent so busy feeding off of one anothers playful energy. I have to remind them EVERYDAY not to play at the table. There should be minimal talking. Just put the fork/spoon in your mouth, and chew. You shouldnt be talking with food in your mouth, so ...hello. AAHHHH!! Sorry. This is a daily struggle with 4 kiddos eating dinner. (I guess thats a different topic!) :blush: