Sitting through a Christmas show

There is a performance of the "Christmas Revels" (a sort of folksy Christmas show, with dancing, singing, etc.) in December that I'd really like to take Amy to -- I think she would love it. But we have tried a couple of stage performances with the kids, and Sarah seems to be easily overwhelmed by the darkness, noise, lights, etc. If I ask her if she wants to go, she'll probably say yes, but then she'll want to leave after 20 minutes.

Is it unfair if Amy goes and Sarah doesn't? Of course we would have DH (who doesn't really like this kind of thing anyway) do something fun with Sarah.

But it just seems unbalanced, especially because Amy is already going to the Nutcracker (with DH) and Sarah isn't. On the other hand, that's because Sarah and I are going to visit my parents that weekend, which is a big treat for her. Besides, Amy is beside herself with excitement about the Nutcracker and Sarah doesn't seem to care that she's going to miss it.

Should I just follow the "pretend they're not the same age" rule, and remind myself that they don't have to do all the same things?

 

I don't think they have to do all the same things. Performances and plays just might not be Sarah's thing AND...that is OK. Maybe instead of just asking her if she wants to go to the "Christmas Revels", give her an alternative "fun thing" that she will be doing with DH.

 

What would be fun for Sarah and daddy to do while you guys are at the show? It sounds like you guys are doing great recognizing that you have two individuals with different likes and dislikes. I wish I could follow my own advise and do more things separately with my girls, but it sounds like Amy would love it, so go for it!

 

I agree - you're doing an awesome job picking up on your daughters' individuality! Go for it, and don't feel guilty. As long as you're doing something special for both, it doesn't have to be the same "something".

 

I think it's fine to just take Amy if Sarah is doing something fun with Daddy that day. Sounds like a good plan!

 

I agree. If the christmas revels is a special treat for Amy then Sarah should just get her own special treat (just like you're doing with the Nutcracker/Grandparent visit). As long as she isn't just sitting home I wouldn't feel guilty at all. Plus this way you and your husband each get a special treat day with each girl.

 

Ooh! Christmas Revels -- we have that here and I love to go! It's a holiday tradition with my DH and me. We've missed a few years (post-kids), but we've been going most years since we met.

I do think its okay (really more than okay, even preferable) to show that you understand your kids as individuals, not just as a "team." I think taking Amy (since she would enjoy it) is just fine.

In our house, we really struggle to create "one on one" time with each kid, but when we do it, they just really shine. Twins already share so much, that when you can do something special -- that is really special for them as an individual, with their own tastes and views -- as opposed to something special for the family, or for the kids (which is also important) -- I think it really matters.

And, well, now you've got me plotting about when I can take my own kids to the Christmas Revels....maybe next year?

All best,

Meg -- mom to 3.5 year old boy/girl twins