For those that don't go to any kind of day care

My boys will be 2 at the end of December and I decided to keep them at home this year as I don't plan on going back to work any time soon. I have them down for nursery in Sept 2010. I do enjoy them at home and we go out and socialise and they all play together in the afternoons when sis comes home from nursery. I do wonder if they need more? They are happy enough but then when other mums say theirs go to nursery and they are doing this that and counting, etc, I feel the dreaded mummy guilt that only mummies can feel!

I feel as though I should be happy (which I am mostly!) and lucky (which I am) that I can keep them at home with me and enjoy this time. I just hope they are not missing out!

How do other mums feel about this? Thanks for any replies.

 

i really have not felt that way, and i am in the same boat as you. we've been in lots of classes, mine are extremely social, we go out all the time (and now live near a park and go there nearly every day). but i still feel that this time w/mommy is exactly what's best for them right now. we're also enrolled in nursery for sep '10 (and we'll be 2 at the end of dec, also!).

i don't think you should feel any guilt at all! they learn from everything they do.... mine spend a ton of time each day just looking out the window and waving at people and animals (or talking to them--through the window, lol) and even that is good for them, i feel. they have plenty of time in the future to learn colors and numbers and other age-appropriate things when the time is right. for now, i'm happy for them to learn through play, spend lots of time w/each other, firends and family members, and never be too far from a hug from me!

let go of the guilt...... you'll have to "let go" of them soon enough. enjoy what you have now and don't worry about it!

, jl

 

Thanks Happychck - made me feel better already - feeling more positive and am trying to let go of that stupid unnecessary guilt - we are going to have a great afternoon.

 

Well I was actaully told by EI that it was NOT good for them to be with me all the time. They need time to interact & socialize with other people without me.

Talk about making me feel like a bad mother! They go to a playgroup once a week but I guess since I'm with them, it's not very beneficial for them.

Today Josh has his 1 year review with EI. His physical therapist last week was talking about his report. She pointed out that "he is becoming an active part of his community" Huh??? He's not even 22 months old!!


They had their first day at a program yesterday. It's only one day a week for now, but I do feel it is good for them to be with other kids their age and we all get a much needed break from each other.

 

Well hmmm… I think I don’t have guilt about not doing the same things w/ these dudes is because we plan to move in June (and mine wont be two until late April). My older one needed interaction because he was sick of me (but we did Gymboree type stuff)… these guys are so not him, they love to play together and never fight (maybe once a week when we don’t nap so well they will snag a toy from the other… but nothing I was dreading when prego). A mom of one of my older DS asked how you did Gymboree w/ two… I replied we ARE our own Gymboree we don’t need Gymboree… plus they go to my oldest sons school w/ me to pick him up and you would think (insert newest Hottest Disney stars name here) walked on the play ground… I remember keeping older ds home w/ me until he was 3, and my best friend sent hers off at 2… she would go on about how she was learn all the names of the US presidents and this and that… and I felt I holding him back, how would he catch up… I would pay $500 if you went up to this 11 year old today and asked her who the 8th president of the US was and she could answer it correctly… they get the same grades in school… I didn’t damage him… there are also kids in my older ds class that did not go to preschool at all… just K and they are doing fine... w/ that said I do get a break from my dudes... i have a babysitter come 2x a week for 4 hrs each day

Elizabeth

 

My mother was an elementary school principal for my entire childhood and she says there was no way to tell kids that went to nursery school/preschool/daycare from kids who stayed home. There was a wide variety of development in every entering kindergarten class, and whenever she or the kindergarten teachers tried to guess who spent all day in daycare, stayed home full time with mom, or went to preschool part time, they were usually wrong.

So don't feel guilty! You're not missing out on anything that you can't do at home and by participating in local groups like Gymboree, library story hour, or park play dates.

 

EI told me too that they need to be with other children more... which unfortunately isn't an option right now, not by lack of trying, plus it looks like we won't be able to send them to preschool in September like I *really* wanted to. Mostly I'd really like them to be around other people and children where they can learn things that they don't learn here (I'm awful at finding activities to do with them and baby play bores me to death).

 

Well, it's good to know I'm not the only one who was told this. Today I had Josh's 1 year eval. They stressed again the importance of them interacting with other people than myself. I then pointed out that they took up 2 hours each 2 days a week with their therapy. They are here until 11:00, lunch is at noon and by the time they wake up from their nap it's already 4-4:30. I don't know many mom's that would want to get together that late in the day.

They all know my situation and they still don't understand how difficult it is for me to take them by myself to the park or children's museum. Once they get a little older it will be easier to take them places but now it's just too hard.

So even with this new program and a playgroup one day a week it's still not enough for them.

 

Thanks ladies - I always love the different angles the replies come from - you are a mine of knowledge and info!

 

I went through feeling guilty as well. ardon: I did keep them home until this past sept. when they were 3 years old and for us, I think it was a great thing. Yes, they do learn alot at school, but they are only this age once. They have plenty of time to learn and do all that stuff, so I enjoyed (and tried to keep the guilt at a minimum ) my time with them, it passes so fast. :cry: They did have playdates and were able to socialize, it's not like it was just us three in the house all day long, and I did crafts with them. I say go with your gut. :hug:

 

I'm a SAHM. My boys were very challenging to take anywhere from about 2 - 2.5 so we didn't go out all that much. We don't live in a neighborhood and aren't church goers. So, they had minimal exposure to other kids during this time. Guess what? They're way ahead with their academic skills and my biggest problem in storytime now is that they're TOO social. I promise, you won't wreck your kids if they aren't in nonstop social situations. And, you can teach anything they teach in nursery! My boys learned their letter sounds from a Leapfrog video in about a week. I taught them to count to 30 by counting out loud with them while we put on temporary tattoos. There is no "right" way for a kid to learn and our "learn as the opportunity presents" style is working great for us (and I was surprised to learn just how similiar it is to Montessori!)

 

I really liked our EI therapist, but this is one thing that bugged me. I'm a SAHM, and particularly when they were on two naps, it was VERY hard to get out and do things like library storytime, playgroups, etc. Everything started during their morning nap. And by the time they up from nap, get them ready, it's time for lunch. Then there's hardly any time to go somewhere before the afternoon nap. Once they were on one nap, I did finally do stuff like that, but the therapist acted like it didn't count or something, she was always kind of dismissive of it and had this tone like all I do is keep them in the house. "Well we're home right now because I have an appointment with you!", I felt like shouting at her. Once Ainsley was walking and the weather was nice, we did some EI appointments at a local playground, which was nice.

 

So good to know!

 

Hi, I'm a SAHM to 14 month olds. I've been pretty active taking them to the park, to the gym, out for walks, etc. I don't do a lot of structured classes, except my DH and I took them for swim lessons on Saturdays for a month. I really like giving them the experience of interacting with others. I think it's good for them. I'm getting to the point where it's very difficult to go out alone with them. My DD RUNS away, and I'm pulled in two different directions. I just started a Moms Morning out program (one morning a week). They have a play yard with all of this wonderful toddler stuff. We don't even have a yard, so I feel better that they have access there. So, the MMO program helps me feel a bit less guilty about wanting to take them out less often right now.
To answer your question, though, I think your kids will be perfectly fine! I think the most important thing for any child is to have loving care.

 

I totally agree. I don't do a lot of structured classes as well. We did swim lessons over the summer and most of the affordable structured classes around here are usually for 2 and up. The kids I will read together, draw, work on letters, shapes and numbers. But it is nothing structured, I just try to do what they find fun.

 

I can get bored at home and I can find it difficult to talk to them sometimes, I'm just not a big talker. Plus with another baby here. I never even thought of daycare until my baby arrived and then I ran out looking for a place to put them. THEY LOVE IT !! To see the look on my very active daughters face before daycare and after. Even my other less active daughter seems to enjoy the independence, which I never thought she would. One daughter goes twice a week and the other daughter goes once a week and has a PT/ speech class (EI I guess). I need the time away and it rejuvenates my batteries as my dh is away often. It allows me to get a few things done like groceries, doctor appointments, and time alone with the baby. So despite the above answers I say "Yes", even just one day a week.

Heather