That whole "drowsy but awake" thing

I know the book HSHHC recommends putting your babies down to sleep when they are "drowsy but awake." And I hear that phrase a lot here too. But if we did that then our boys would scream and cry, and I don't think they are old enough to do CIO just yet. So for those of you that have consistently put your babies down while they are still awake but drowsy...what did you do when they fussed then??

I would love to get our boys on a schedule during the day, but they pretty much dictate when they will nap (and I know that's because we let them, I'm just a pushover for crying). We generally let them stay up during the day until they start getting cranky (using 1.5 to 2 hours after their bottle), and then we rock them and/or give them a bottle until they dose off at which point we put them in their crib. How does one do "drowsy but awake" without doing CIO? When the boys are a little bit older I'm sure we'll take the CIO approach, but in the meantime I'm not sure what to do.

 

It can be really tough to catch that exact few moments. You can try the just fell asleep - lay them down and then pat and shush etc. Then try to get to a little more awake every few days so they start to learn to fall asleep on their own.

Pretty soon you will be able to find those few minutes of quiet alert, happy but able to fall asleep without a lot of assist. The frustrating part is it is very short and difficult to catch with 2 babies adn wehn you miss it the you have to work so much harder to get them down. Maybe just focus on watching the cues of one baby for a few days and then work on the other. I had good success with this around 3-4 months, so with adjusted age your guys may not quite be there yet.

Good luck

 

Thanks. And btw, previously I meant to say they usually want to nap 1.5 to 2 hours after they last woke from a nap (not necessarily since they last took a bottle). Sometimes I'll see them yawn or rub their eyes but I don't normally try to put them down right then, because I figure they will fuss. One baby in particular goes into full melt down mode when he gets tired and needs a nap, and often times I don't even see him give signals that he is tired beforehand. It seems like he can be grinning and cooing one minute, and then just start crying uncontrollably. And the ONLY thing we've found to work so far to get him down for a nap is to rock him and usually give him 1-2 oz. I've tried just shushing and rocking, but he usually goes on and on, and a "snack bottle" helps chill him out to the point that he can fall asleep. Anyway, I'm going to try and pay closer attention and look for cues. I would love to be able to head off such drama beforehand. We can usually estimate about the time he will get like that so I'll just pay more attention leading up to that. But yeah, it is hard, especially when you're trying to entertain their sibling at the same time The more I think about it the more I think even if he does cry some if I put him down drowsy but awake, the alternative is a full blown crying fit when he gets overly tired. So it can't be that bad to put him down drowsy

 

First off, 5 months was the HARDEST naptime for us. I tried everything to get them to sleep and most of the time just did the swing or let them nap in the bouncy chair. I would let them fuss in bed, but by no means would consider it CIO. If it lasted more than 5 mins (and I sat by the clock) I would go in and rub backs or give a hug and try again. It will get much easier very soon though!

 

MIne were STTN for 2 months by the time they were five months and when they STTN, their naps were fine and they were on schedule, too.

They didn't cry when I put them in their cribs cuz they LOVED to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They would smile and coo and laugh when I brought out their sleep sacks!!!!! That's a funny memory

My kids were great w/ naps and sleep so i got lucky. AND I never ever ever rocked them to sleep. I put them in their drowsy but awake from the very beginning so I think they were used to it, too.

Are you transitioning them to their cribs from something else?? Just curious, cuz that could be tricky.

 

Wow, you are lucky!! One LO started STTN about 3 weeks ago, the other LO just started STTN (6 or 7 hour stretches) a few nights ago.

Our boys were really fussy from the get go, which I attribute to them being so premature. So no, we didn't do the drowsy but awake thing in the beginning either because they would cry and fuss then too.

As for whether I'm transitioning them from napping in swings or bouncy seats, no, they've never really napped much in those things. Swings and bouncies only seem to work for about 15 minutes before the boys get bored/fussy, so we mainly use bouncies for feeding and to buy us a few minutes of time to wash bottles, for instance. The boys have been napping in separate cribs for a couple of months now.

Just this morning my mom and I could tell Brandon was looking sleepy because he had this zoned out look on his face (he's the one that can go in full meltdown mode when overly tired). So she immediately went and rocked him and in 2 minutes he was out cold, meltdown avoided. Next time rather than rock him I will try and just lay him in his crib...but I don't have high hopes. Plus we always put them on their tummies (otherwise they don't nap long), and while on their tummies they can't see the Fisher Price aquarium soother attached to their crib. Hmmm. Maybe I'll lay him on his back, start up his soother, and if he actually falls asleep I'll gently roll him over...or just wait and see how long he will nap. They tend to only nap 45 minutes or less anyway.

 

We did the drowsy but awake thing. It worked great until 4 months with pacis and swaddles. Then we had to CIO. I'm not too sure either if it's avoidable, because if you put them in their crib to fall asleep they will only fall asleep there, so short of getting them out until they calm down and trying to put them down 30 minutes later and hope they will not cry, I can't think of any other solution. The patting and shushing thing just made my kids scream more. But it worked for us, and they are great sleepers now.

On a side note, being up 1.5 to 2 hours at a time seems awfully long for a 5 month old.