I hope someone has some advice for me!

Last night Jack woke up crying/screaming. This happens sometimes, and we either try to get him to go back to sleep, or if it lasts more than a few seconds, we take him to our room so he doesn't wake Lily. (I know, not a great move, but you do what you gotta do!)
Well, last night we brought him to our room, and he just wouldn't stop crying. He looked terrified. He was fighting us, kicking, hitting, etc. This is NOT his normal behavior. This has happened a couple other times. Anyone else experience this? What can I do when it happens? My husband and I had very different ideas... I wanted to hold him, sing, try to soothe him to sleep. He wanted to raise his voice and snap at him in an effort to completely wake him up so he would stop freaking out. After about 15 minutes, give or take, he fell back asleep.

I would really appreciate any answers or advice anyone has!

Thanks in advance,

Helen

 

:hug: My opinion was it was a night terror. Lauren has had them on and off for a while. Has Jack had this happen often? It is difficult because there isn't a lot you can do to help them and it is heartbreaking to watch. With Lauren, I just make sure she can't hurt herself or Mattie and just wait it out. I have tried to wake her and sometimes it works, most often it doesn't.

Hang in there. I know it is hard.

 

I tend to agree with Brandy. Meghan has had them and she doesn't wake up(even though she is sitting there looking at me). I just sit by her bed and try to calm her. Liam has had something similar lately, not sure what is going on there, he just sobs and sobs. I try to comfort him, my husband woke him the last time.

 

Isabel has had them in the past. The best thing for us was to make sure she was safe. There was no talking her into calming down, rationalizing with her, etc. She didn't know what was going on and never remembered them in the morning. She appeared to be awake, but made no sense at all and could not understand us, so we just would try to rub her back and soothe her back to sleep. It would last maybe up to 15 mins, but felt a whole lot longer. You could ask your Pedi if they have any other advice. Poor thing and poor Mama.

 

That does sound like a night terror. My DS has these as well, mostly when his schedule or routine is disrupted and he gets overtired. There really is nothing you can do except make sure he can't hurt himself. His brain is stuck in a between awake and asleep state so he's not actually awake. Until his brain works it out, he cannot be comforted or reasoned with. I've read up on these a bit and some experts say touching him or talking to him can make the episode last longer. I usually pick DS up and attempt to comfort him. If he's kicking and thrashing at me, I put him back in bed and let him work it out. Sometimes it takes 30-45 minutes. It's heartbreaking for me to watch, but luckily he doesn't get them often.

 

One of our DDs has these sometimes. I've found that taking her outside into the cool night air (and onto our swingseat) really helps calm her. She's often struggling on the way down though. For her it's only if we put her to bed when she's over tired that it happens, and even then not always. My sister's child used to get them a lot at exactly the same time each night, so my sister learned just to slightly disturb the child's sleep just before she'd usually get the night terror - take her to the toilet or something - and then they avoided it.

 

If they are night terrors (which sounds likely) it would be best to do neither of those things. As pp's said:

When children have night terrors and are screaming/crying/whatever they are still asleep (even if they have their eyes open/are sitting up). Talking to him won't work because he's asleep and can't really hear you. They fight being held so hard because they are still dreaming, they can think you're part of the bad dream. It's not reccommended to wake the child because that's a big shock to them (same reason you don't wake sleepwalkers) whereas if you don't wake them they will fall back to sleep on their own and more than likely not remember it in the morning.
You can find quite a lot of information by googling 'child night terrors' but basically the advice is the same; make sure they're safe and then just wait it out. Some people have triggers which cause the night terrors (being overtired is the biggest one) so you could try and see if there's any pattern to them.

:hug: To you and your son, I hope it is a very short phase for you.

 

As twin nanny mentioned, I have heard that you should not wake a child from a night terror. Waking them makes them more agitated and scared. I think the best thing...like pp's have mentioned...just make sure they are in a safe place and comfort them.

 

My oldest dd gets them when she has a fever. They are terrifying to witness. Drs have told me they are scarier for the parent than the child because the kids don't remember them but the parents do. They freak me out. Josie would look at me or over my shoulder and scream "NOOOO", the first time I thought she was the exorcist or something and was seeing ghosts. Thank God I figured out they were night terrors. I just sit by her side and make sure she is okay until she lies back down. Hers don't usually last more than 2-3 mins. (although her first one was very long). Hope you find something to stop them!

 

We just wait them out and make sure she won't hurt herself. *hug* They are most certainly scary; you have my sympathy

 

My 18 year old nephew still has night terrors and has had them since he was a toddler. His dr always recommended not waking them as PP have mentioned. He normally has them when he is stressed or worried about something.

 

Thank you! Hopefully this will be something he grows out of quickly because it really is heartbreaking! I hate having a situation where there is nothing I can do to help him.

Thanks again for your responses!

Helen

 

DD has had a few. The first time I tried to hold her and give her comfort but she just fought me kicking and screaming.

Now I just let her work it out unless she calls my name...then I know she's awake and I know she won't fight me.

The last time this happened she cried for a bit, woke up and called for me, I went in and we rocked for about 5 mintues. I asked if she wanted to go back to bed and she said yes. She fell back to sleep shortly thereafter.

HTH,
Lindia

 

Well this seems to go against all the professional opinions, but I give my kid a popsickle when they are like this. The cold wakes them up and they are happy since they have a popsickle.

But maybe it's better not to wake them??

 

Jonas gets them...I just make sure he's okay, I don't talk to him, touch him, or disturb him...I have found this makes him freak out more. They are not awake and have no idea of what is "really" going on so just make sure your child is in a safe place and can't hurt themselves or someone else. Jonas' night terrors usually last maybe 10 minutes and then he lays back down and is quiet.

 

Helen -

My DS had night terrors frequently for a period of a year or so. Twinnanny's reply has a lot of the same info I was going to give you. Because we dealt with it so often I did some research on it as well as consult with our pedi. Our DS would get much worse if we tried consoling him at all. There were two things that worked for us:

1) About two hours into his sleep cycle we would try and wake him up (just enough so that he was coming out of his sleep - but not so much that he would then have trouble getting back to sleep ). The way it was explained to us this worked because it "re-set" is sleep cycle and got it unstuck which is what causes the night terror.

2) We would get him out of bed take sit him between my DH and I without talking directly to him or touching him. Then DH and I would just have a "quiet" discussion between us. This would keep him from screaming and crying and then suddenly he would wake up and look at us and just say "hi Mommy". Then we would all snuggle back to bed.

Good luck! They are absolutely horrible to witness and experience. Luckily our lil ones don't remember it at all. I'd highly recommend trying option #1 and really sticking to a routine during the day until they're outgrown!

Lorena

 

We've dealt with confusional arousals and night terrors since the boys were tiny. It's clearly linked to being overtired for them so I do my best to be sure they get enough sleep. Another trigger is the need to pee. So, I've started gently guiding the screaming child to the toilet. More often than not, the boy will stand there sobbing and pee, walk back to bed, and go peacefully back to sleep. He won't remember it the next day so I'm pretty sure he's asleep the whole time. The frequency increased greatly during the time they were PTing but now it's pretty rare and we haven't had any of the marathon episodes where they take turns freaking out for half of the night in a very long time (knocking on wood). I guess they're already growing out of it.

OH, and they did briefly sleep pee in weird places in their room but thankfully that hasn't happened lately either.