uh-oh

So.. took a pregnancy test. Positive. Yes. We weren't trying. We barely have sex because we both go to school full time, and DH works full time.

I'm confused as to what to do. We will have to move two hours away from our family after his spring semester so he can start Pharmacy school. DH seems way too calm about this, and keeps telling me that whatever decision I make is the right one for all of us. How hard is it to have twin toddlers and a newborn? Have any of you had an abortion after having twins? I'm struggling with this decision. I just found out about 4 hours ago, and I can't be more than 4 weeks along.

 

Wow, that would be a shock! Sorry I don't have any answers for you, at least your DH seems supportive, Mine would be headed for hills! Good luck with whatever you decide...

 

Don't know how hard it will be but we were planning I am looking into the future and know once we are out of this baby stage it will be so much fun bc we can do family things together with no one being left out. Good luck with your decision! Do you have any friends who could help in the new area? Or could you possibly afford daycare a couple times a week?

 

The same thing happened to me when the boy were 9 months. I was terrified. I actually ended up miscarrying, which was a relief. You need to make a decision that is both best for your family, and something you can live with.

 

that is a shock... and I keep procrasting our decision to try for a 3rd for the same reasons you are fearful of.

for me, I could never make a decision for abortion, and just wanted to put the adoption bug in your ear... there are LOTS of couples out there that want a baby... my friend is actually adopting a baby from a married couple who has 2 children, maybe 4 & 8 yrs old and they decided they didn't have the means to support another child and I think they thought they were "done" with the baby stage etc.

I do agree w/the pp about getting out of the baby stage sooner if they are closer in age etc.

I hope you can make the right decision for you and your family.

 

Having 3 under the age of 2 would be difficult in many ways but, at the same time, there are many benefits to having children close in age. Whatever decision you make, we are here to support you. :hug:

 

What shock you must be in! I know I would be, as our babies are about the same age. I, personally, could never suggest an abortion. Weigh all of your options and don't forget adoption is a choice, as well. Whatever choice you and your hubby make, I'm sure it will be the right one for yall.

Good luck!

 

How are you feeling today? :hug:

 

:hug: You need to make the right choice for you and your family. We are here to support you. It will be tough, but your hard work will come through in the end with 3 kids who are close together. You will get the diapers out of the way!! GL!

 

:hug: I have not been in your position but just wanted to say that we will be here to support you with whatever decision you make!

 

Oh gosh, what a shock. I know that you are not alone in women on TS who have been in this position, and just know that you will find support whatever your decision. :hug:

 

Major :hug: s!! I had 3 under 3 but I had one 2 year old, and then newborn twins(plus 2 older kids!)! It's busy, but doable. However, only you know your situation, and you have to do what feels right to you. We are here to support you no matter what! :hug: Check in when you can. Thinking of you.

 

Wow! I am sorry you're having to deal with this right now. Take a long time to think about your decision. And as PP said, you have the adoption option. If you decide to keep the baby, you will have almost 9 months to work things out and get used to the idea. Hopefully your twins would be a bit more independent by then. I'm sure it would be really crazy having 3 little ones, but that time will be short, compared to the life of your child and your family. Maybe you have friends or family who could help? Although this pregnancy is unplanned, you can still make it work if you and your husband decide you want to. You need to make the decision that you can live with in your heart because it will affect you the most. :hug:

 

I'm 16 weeks pregnant and my twins just turned 11 months old today. They'll be 17 months when the new baby is born. We got the twins through IVF so we were VERY shocked when I took a pregnancy test and it turned out positive. I was sure it would be negative (we were not trying) but I was a few days late and I really wanted some beer (had a few rough days). I was scared to death on how the heck I was going to handle this. My DH was getting ready to go into the Army and he's actually in training right now. I'm going through most of this pregnancy on my own. He's graduating and we're moving when I'm 32 weeks pregnant and the twins are 15 months. It's going to be nuts but after adjusting to the shock I am very excited to have another one on the way. Yes it will be a lot of work and yes it will be challenging for the first few years but I cannot wait to raise these kids together. A positive pregnancy test when you have twins under a year definitely has a high shock value! I wish you good luck with your decision but honestly the longer I'm pregnant the more comfortable I am with the idea.

 

I can't imagine your stress right now. But know that when your twins are 17 months vs. 8 months it is a world of difference. I know it's hard to imagine but they are sleeping through the night, holding their own sippys, feeding themselves (table food) and can entertain themselves soooo much more than a 9 month old baby. I was just telling my friend who is pregnant with one that I can see why people have babies 13 months apart, one is sleeping through the night (and everything I mentioned above)...it's so much easier than twins!
I just wanted to sprinkle some of what it's like having toddlers...though adding a baby would be hard in the beginning, in just a few years they will all be grown and in school believe it or not

 

Good luck to you! I cannot offer you much in the way of advice, but, I also have three under three. My daugher was 2.5 when my twins were born. I think in a way, you might have it a bit easier with the twins being older with a newborn, as they will be able to amuse themselves AND eachother. The hardest part so far for me is finding time to play with my toddler! Twin infants take a lot of time! So, it might actually be smoother for you! Good luck again and I wish you the best!

 

:hug: I hope you are able to come to a decision that brings you peace. I cannot imagine the shock and stress you are feeling right now. :hug:

 

Girl that's a tough situation.

I'm pregnant, and my boys will be 23 months when their sibling is born. If they had been 8 months old, and I was unexpectedly pregnant--I would have felt overwhelmed and would have considered abortion as one of my options.

You need to do what you think is best for you and your family. Keep your head up; we're here for you no matter what. :grouphug:

 

Thank all of you ladies soo much for your support and personal stories. I'm still pretty undecided and in shock.. I honestly don't know what to do. I wish DH would lean towards something. He just helps me weigh the options and tells me to decide something, anything, and he will support me. :headbang:

We tried for a year and a half before we got the twins!

 

I want to echo that the first 3 months will be very hard but your twins are getting older so they will learn to play by themselves and amuse themselves more as they get bigger. Also 2-3 is a great age, it is one of the few where babies listen and have a lot of fun. They should also be sleeping by that time so only the newborn will be keeping you up. Also, adoption is one thing to consider, if you really feel you can't have an abortion but also don't feel you can handle another child, you should consider adoption. Good luck with your decision.

 

My twins and singleton are 19 months apart. There were/are times that its hard having kids close in age. Days that I cry just because I am completely overwhelmed, but, honestly, you have made it through infant twins and even 3 under 2 was NOTHING compared to two infants at the same time. One infant is not the same as two. It's easier.

 

You know how hard it can be for some to have babies. You've been there yourself. Whatever option you decide, I am completely against abortion. I got an abortion 10 years ago for an unsure medical reason and spent 10 whole years trying...until God finally blessed us with our twins.

 

In 8 months, your twins should be walking and more indpendent. It is nice to have kids close in age. :hug: Sorry you are having to make the decision.

 

:hug: I can imagine how scary it was to get that positive test! But as others have pointed out, in 8-9 months the twins will be so much more independent and handling one infant with older twins has got to be infinitely easier than 2 infants at once!

I had 3 under 3, my dd was 2.5 when the twins were born, and as someone else said, it's very busy, but they are only so dependent for such a short time. Once the twins hit the 5-6 month stage things got much easier around here!

I can't agree with an abortion for anyone, so I'd also like to throw out the adoption option if you just don't feel you can handle 3 young children. The good news about that is you honestly have the whole pregnancy to decide whether you want to keep the baby or not, you can make your decision at the last minute. That way, you'll see how your twins are doing by then and whether you can handle another baby or not. And if you do choose adoption, you will be giving a couple who can't have a child of their own the most precious gift in the world.

:hug: Good luck making your decision for you and your family! :hug:

 

Here to echo you will have support here through whatever decision you make. My LOs are almost 8 mos and if I found out I was pregnant I would most likely go with it but I would need the whole 9 months to get my attitude adjusted for sure! I just wanted to say it sounds like you have a wonderful DH who will support any decision. I am so happy for you to have that going for you. Abortion isn't for me personally at this time in my life - I may have considered it in the past at points in my life but now that I have kids I can't go the other way. Adoption would be rough mentally for me too, although I think people who do it are very brave. Just take some time to really reflect on your options...sounds like you are doing that with DH. You will make the right decision for you, and we will be here standing by... :hug:

 

Luckily she doesn't need your approval. And I don't believe she asked for your personal opinion of abortion.

OP, only you know what is right for you and your family. Mentioning something like abortion will illicit a lot of opinions, none of which should matter to you. Take time with your DH, and come to a decision together. He needs to help you make this decision, not just agree to go along with whatever you decide. It puts too much pressure on you.

A million hugs. I can't imagine this is easy. Best of luck with whatever you decide! :hug:

 

I agree with the above completely. :hug:

 

Big hugs! I can't imagine being in your shoes. I've moved a lot though and have learned that having kids, helps make new friends! When you move, your DH will probably meet other people who have families. I don't have much advice, but do know that now that my boys are 2, I'm really missing the baby stage and wish I had another one now.

 

Unfortunately that wont happen on an open message board ardon: Everyone is entitled to give "their" story or "their" comment.

 

I agree with one of the pp's.....it's hard work, but very doable. We now have 13 children, and with that many of ours are older, however years ago we did have 5 children under 4 yrs old (all singletons) and it was NOTHING like having twins! Believe it or not, with singletons it really wasn't a big deal at all. I also had no help and dh worked 60 hrs plus a wk.

If you choose not to keep the baby, have you considered adoption? There was a lady that delivered before we had our twins that chose to place her baby up for adoption....my dh and I were so impressed by that. She felt that she couldn't "handle" anymore for whatever reason (may have been financial in this case since she was a single mom, I'm really not sure), however it seemed long-term like a win-win .... The birth mom gave the gift of life to a baby, there was a family that was thrilled beyond words that got to have the family that they had dreamed about that they would have been unable to have otherwise. Something else that I was impressed with was how easy it was (logistically speaking) for mom to place the baby up for adoption, and how much the nurses made a big deal of the birth moms decision of giving the gift of life. I'm not speaking as an "expert" in adoption by any means...I'm sure there's people on this board that know a lot more about it than I do, but I think there's something called an open adoption too.

I'll be praying for you and your dh as you make this painful decision.

Edited for typo errors...sorry

 

I also totally agree.

 

I found this website that has lots of information about unplanned pregnancies and abortion, that I thought you might find useful. http://www.pregnancycenters.org/

I wish you the best, and I'll pray you are able to come to an answer you can have peace with.

Rose