You know what other question is annoying

We haven't told anyone I am pregnant yet and won't until after the first u/s and then it will only be close family until Thanksgiving.
The big question....."We're you trying?" My sister and I got asked this all the time when we were pregnant before! Why is it anyone's business? and I'm sure people will think this baby is a surprise being the twins are not even 1 yet but we were trying bc I was diagnosed with Lupus and didn't want to start the medication until we had another baby...was it a couple months before we wanted to? Yes, but we were extremely lucky to get pregnant after only 1 MONTH of trying after having to use Clomid to have the twins!!


Anyways, I just think its annoying people ask this... I have been married for years...so what does it matter?!?!?!?! Are "surprise" babies really that much more work?!?!?!

 

I think it is poor judgement to ask people that although I have to admit, I always wonder. :unknw: I am a very curious person. I saw a woman at Walmart yesterday with a child who had to have been on the small side of one year old but she had to have been 8 months pregnant. I did not however go up to her and start asking if this new one was planned.
So, summarizing, I think it is in poor taste to ask this but I don't think there is any harm meant. Perhaps before you announce it just say, (assuming everyone knows about the lupus diagnosis) the reasons for trying to soon. Make sure everyone can hear it!
:bow2: I don't know how you can keep your pregnancy a secret for so long!!! You rock!

 

What Jackie said. I agree it is a question that is asked in poor taste, I think people's curiosity at time overtakes the polite part of their brains. That being said, it is not a question I would ask a pregnant woman.

 

Ohhh, let the slew of annoying questions begin!! They seem to get better & better as you get further along :nea:

For the most part people don't mean to be rude, they are just curious & sometimes tactless! :lol:

 

I think you should have a reply ready, like answering them with a question, I'm not sure define trying..... or wow I didn't know you were so interested in our sex life?
I always got so annoyed when people would find out I was carrying twins, and say oh well you know they always come early. Then I would say, yah I lose a lot of sleep over that, it's probably a twins mother's biggest fear, and surprisily people just want to always remind me of it. Of course I don't say this to people I am close to but you know these "people" you don't really know in the grocery store. I said it to this one lady and she didn't know what to say I think she suddenly felt really stupid. I know I was raised to be polite and overlook other peoples social short comings, but something about my pregnancy hormones won't let me :girl_devil:

 

Funny I had a similar question asked to me when we first announce our pregnancy around 10 weeks to friends at a get together.

A casual friend said "Wow! (big pause...) So I mean are you guys happy about it?" followed by "are your parents okay with it?" I was like WTF we are in our late 20s (me 29, husband 28) have been married two years, and we're ANNOUNCING it to you...of course we are happy!!! I figured out eventually that she is NOT a kid person and she and her husband are not planning on having any so I guess she was just projecting her own attitude on me but I think that was the rudest exchange I've had so far.

Although another is a waitress at a restaurant I go to often who keeps telling me how huge I look...thanks!

 

It's a very personal question and I don't understand it either!

 

I think when I was pg with my third I got asked that (my twins were 8 months old). I think what I was worried was someone thinking my child wasn't "wanted". I do think sometimes people like the idea of a "surprise" in a "good surprise" sort of way. sort of like when you didn't know HE was going to propose and you got this BIG surprise. People like a good happy story. Personal question ? Hell yeah. So is asking how many kids someone wants .... a common question.

 

Definitely a personal question. People just don't think. When people heard we were having twins - they would ask "Are they natural?" As if doing infertility treatments creates "unnatural" babies. I agree that people are just curious, but don't think about how they're questions come off to others.

 

I always said, "practice makes perfect".

Depending on how close the person is, how snarky you feel that day, you could probably have a few wisecracks ready. Like, "you know, married people have sex regularly". or "no, it was immaculate conception"

 

I like the immaculate conception! I'll have to remember that one.

 

LOL! Good answers! I'm already expecting some family to ask how we have time! I plan on answering that they go to bed at 6p...what else are we supposed to do?!?! ardon: :silly:

 

I hate that question too! I can see how people may be curious, but really mind your own business. I got so sick of answering that after people found out we're expecting #4 that I just tell them right off it wasn't planned but we are so excited. In truth none of our babies were planned but we knew it could happen so we were obviously okay with it. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope people don't ask you that too much.

 

My answer: "Well since you ask, we had sex this tuesday about 4 weeks ago... or wait, was it monday? Yes must have been monday, well anyway, so we are having the sex and we are about to grab protection and then it occurred to me, hey why not do it without. So planned, no, spur of the moment, yes!"
I am sure they will stop you before you even get to the protection bit and reret ever having asked! You may even be teaching a lesson for life!
M.

 

ugh I hate all the questions! I hope you can get through those... I know with the twins, I got asked a lot of the "natural" or "IVF" questions... ours were IVF, and I got very offended that we were asked that all the time... for us, it seems we were only asked questions up until they were maybe 6 months old... we still (sometimes) get the do they run in your family... I just say No. my dh says "we bought them"... usually they don't even get that he said it...

I hope you can get through all the questions ok. Congrats & good luck!!

 

Them: "Were you trying?"

You: "How much money is in your bank account?"


UGH!!!!! PEOPLE!!!!!!

 

Love it!!

I had 3 out 4 comments the other day that were less than positive.(Even though most probably wern't meaning to be rude.) I was so upset, I barely made it home before bursting into tears!

The worst was one saying that she would've jumped off a bridge if it were her! (I'm expecting twins and this is my 3rd pregnancy.)

Another mum at school pickup time said,
"How are you going to keep up with 4?"
I felt like turning around and saying- You can't even keep up with your 1 child!!

One person said,
"Gee, howd that happen?!"
so I was getting rather p****d off by that point and said,
"You know, funny story that. It all starts with the birds and the bees. I'll tell you about it one day."

I'm normally very tolerant of people but am only just starting to realise how inconsiderate people can be.

 

I'm 12 weeks and I've already gotten the "natural or IVF twins?". I have two other kids so the IVF question kind of throws me off because I'm not used to it.

And the "were you trying for twins?" ANyone gotten that one? Like, yeah, we even did it twice that night.

And to the "were you trying?" question I'd say, well I don't believe there really is such a thing as an oops because if you don't want to get pregnant there are ways to prevent that.

 

I am also sick of this. Everyone assumes that I got pregnant by "accident". Hello people my DBF and I have been together for 11.5 years. Don't you think that we understood how birth control works?

The next irritation is that a number of people have asked me if DBF knew that I was trying to get pregnant. Grrr.... Of course he knew I am not the kind of person who would "trick" him into a family.

Then the most upsetting question. They ask if we are getting married now that we are having kids. I really don't think that it is any of their business. The decision to get married is as personal as our choice to have children was.

I don't actually get asked the IVF question because everyone assumes that they were an accident. That kinda pisses me off.

I just don't understand why everyone in the world seems to feel that I can be judged because of my decisions. I am with a great man who loves me until the end of time and will be a fantastic father. Their opinions don't count. But they sure can irritate me.

 

I have gotten the "were you trying for twins" question several times. I think it is a more polite way of someone asking if you used fertility. At least that is the response I got when I asked the person back "so how exactly do you try for twins?"... and they responded with fertility. People are so unbelievably rude!

 

That is what I asked someone once who asked me if we were trying for twins. I asked how exactly you make 2 babies at one time on purpose?!

Also the assumption that because we already have 2 children that these bubs were an accident. This pregnancy was most definately planned!

One comment I've had a few times has been the "Oh well, you'll be right." This is said in a very sympathetic voice as if the person has just heard you had a disaster in the family. I find these kind of comments upsetting as the birth of any baby is a miracle and joy, not something to be commiserated.

 

I feel you...

Jusyt in talking to people about my twins(ine just came home and one still in the NICU...Boy and girl), I have already been asked 3 times(seriously) if they were identical.

Uh no...he has a penis.

I am amazed at some people. I'm not easy to offend and most comments don't even bother me one bit. I gain more joy making people look silly for their questions, or turn it back on them and make them uncomfortable just for asking.

I can't wait til we start taking them out and about. They better watch out and keep their comments to themselves. I got plenty to throw back at them and am really looking forward to it.

 

I am not normally easy to offend either. I work in the health/retail industry and am used to dealing with all sorts of people. Perhaps the extra hormones are affecting me but I just can't believe that people can be so rude. i would never say anything to anyone that might possibly be upsetting.

On the flip side though I had one lady say to me on hearing about our twins, that we were having a 'double delight'. I thanked her for saying that as it was just nice to hear.

 

I agree!

 

I'm new to the forums, and I've just been reading responses, but this is the first thread I felt I should respond to.

I've had so many people ask if we were trying, and I keep thinking, "Are you really thinking out that question before you ask it." Most of the time I give a curt yes and change the subject.

But the best (read rudest) comment I've gotten was from my family physician's nurse. "Oh my God, twins! Were you on birth control when that happened? Because who would actually want that to happen!" Um, me. I wanted to get pregnant. I didn't wish for twins, but I'm glad my little girls are coming. Oh, I so wanted to smack her, but I kept my hormones in check. <_<

 

OMG I get asked this ALL.THE.TIME...I think I may try your answer next time to see what they say, so far I have just tried to be nice and say no, but then I make fun of them behind their back for asking LOL. My SIL actually asked this! :crazy: :wacko:

And yes I get asked the "were you trying" question all the time too (we have a 17 month old too, I assume that's why) and cannot believe how rude that is! My response is always who ever plans on having twins. Ugh people. Oh and BTW Keep your grubby paws off my kids strangers LOL especially now with the flu do not touch other peoples babies. :catfight:

 

Love it! And the little smilie thing too-made me laugh.


Had someone the other day at work say to me,"Oh god, glad it's you and not me. You poor thing! Nevermind though." This went on for ages. It was all I could do not to say anything to her!

Did have a laugh to myself one day though. I was at work again and someone only just realised I was pregnant (WTF- my belly is HUMUNGOUS!) so she was asking all the usual questions about when i was due etc. She then asked how many this made it.( As in number 2 or 3).
When I pointed at my belly and said "actually it's 3 and 4", the look on her face was priceless!!!!

 

How about "I knew my mom forgot to tell me something when we had the talk" lol I don't know why people think pregnancy/babies are public property for all to discuss and for everyone to know all the details of.

We DID use IVf, but I am using that line anyway!

 

I was asked this yesterday by a stranger. "Were you trying?" And my response was simply "why do you ask?" And they walked off. I think I took them by surprise with my response... it made them think how weird it was they asked that.

As far as the natural comments - my own MIL has been known to tell friends / family that my first DS was not "natural." She's lucky I didn't deck her when I heard that. But now I say "well they will be eating, sleeping, and pooping - so I'm pretty sure they aren't fake." And that kind of clears the air too.

Sometimes people don't realize how rude they are and they are being so nosey - have a quick comeback ready and put them in their place I say!

 

Ohhhhhh, I so love that one! Simple and to the point. Will have to try and remember to use it!!

Being that I look like I'm ready to give birth at any minute already, I'm getting a lot more comments now. This is a recent one I've had a few times now.
"So is it a Christmas baby then?"
"Um no. Actually not till early April" This is the point where the person will do a double take and stare at my belly and say,"Ohhhh!"

 

I have a bit of fun with some people now. When they ask, "So is this baby #1 or #2?"
I say something like, "Actually it's #3 AND #4".
I figure you've got to get a laugh out of it some of the time and seeing some people face is just priceless!!!!!!!!!

 

Ironically enough the rudest comment I have gotten actually came from another Mother of Twins! Can you believe that? She was a nurse I worked with and said "God you are going to wish you never got pregnant....if the pregnancy doesn't make you wish that, raising them will!".

I was appalled! Did she really hate her kids that much?

I know it's going to be rough with a 3 year old and 2 newborns around, but I love my children and taking care of them is probably one of the things I do best. Bah! Cranky people!

 

I've had similar sorts of comments and I don't know if people really think through what they say! They may not mean it, but these sorts of remarks can be incredibly hurtful and discouraging. I had one lady say that she wouldv'e suicided if it were her!!?

I have a 9yr & 4yr old already and have moments where I completely freak out wondering how I'll cope- and these people definately do not help!