People who think that having two kids near is age is 'just like having twins' need to realize that t

Kinda a game.

People who think that having two kids near is age is 'just like having twins' need to realized that they ...

... never had two kids discovering separation anxiety at the same time.

... got to use hand-me-downs since kid one outgrew stuff before kid 2 needed it.

... didn't have to suddenly shell out two times $2800 for plagio helmets.

What else? opcorn:

 

... never had two babies discovering the world around them while both are latched to your nipples and pulling them in different directions.

 

LOL!!! This is why i didn't breastfeed...

 

When people tell me they "know" what's it's like, I like to come back with, "actually, you had it harder...my kids are on the same schedule, even pooped w/in 5 mins of each other. I didn't have to have one on formula, one on milk, they both learned to STTN the same month, I can feed them the same thing for dinners." That usually shuts them up. I agree it is really hard having twins, but every time I would think that, I'd focus on the way my life was easier. I have a friend who has a newborn and a 10 month old. I wouldn't trade lives with her for the world!

ETA: Didn't mean to be a buzzkill...guess I'm just feeling super positive this morning!

 

I agree (not to be a buzzkill either) but I cannot imagine how much work having a newborn and another child who is a year or less at the same time. Twins are definitely hard but I am thankful that my kids go through the same stages at the same time.
My MIL had my SIL, DH, SIL all within 2.5 years. I don't know she did it :bow2:
ETA (for the game) Don't have two children talking to them at the same time yet

 

...never had the hospital bill.

OMG. The bills. It's double everything and you have to remind yourself there's two kids not one. I never had a singleton but I still have to remind myself.

...never had to deal with two premie babies with GERD at the same time. It's enough to drive anyone off a cliff. Most kids outgrow it before the other one comes along or one's improved significantly.

On the positive side. I get to get rid of stuff faster. Don't need to keep cribs around longer, clothes I can get rid of faster, don't have one in diapers and one to potty train at same time, and get discounts at stores.

 

I totally agree! I think in the long run, we do have it easier. Yes it is hard in the beginning, but super easy in the end. I am happy that I have been able to get rid of things at the same time. This way, the whole house is on the same routine!

I am all about routine!

Jenn

 

Although I do agree the second year has been a little easier having twins (harder in some respects, but I will always feel that two newborns has to be way harder than having kids that are different ages). But we are just starting the beginning stages of potty training and it seems like it's going to be so chaotic with two the same age (especially with two different genders). They fight and push each other off the potty because they want a turn to sit. I am totally dreading it.

 

I have done both, had twins & had two singletons (then 3) relatively close together & I agree with you Megan. While it's harder in some ways to have twins, the logistics of actually juggling two babies at once, there are things about having two young singletons that are just as hard or harder. Breastfeeding a newborn somewhere other than home while trying to hold on to an almost two year old comes to mind.... Luke & Lila have actually been by far my easiest kids, over all (once I got through that first few months, of course! ).

But I am enjoying your responses! Some of them are really funny! :laughing:

 

I thought it would be way harder too. But, you know, after Lila learned to use the potty, she really encouraged Luke & I think he learned a lot from her. Plus, there's that element of competition, if she can do it, so can I! It really wasn't that bad. I hope it goes well for you!

 

I think there are definitely pros and cons to both.
But the BIG thing is:

- never had to go through MONTHS of having TWO babies who did not yet STTN!

(OK so if they had a toddler who was a really bad sleeper they might have, but I mean in general.) That to me is the biggest reason why I still think two singletons close together would be easier than twins. I was lucky my boys started STTN at 4 months, but those first 4 months were miserable and overwhelming; I would not relive them for anything!! I think it's tough because you have a much longer stretch when you have two that are totally dependent. Sure, there are challenges to independence, too--they run away from you--but I think it's tough having two that you have to do EVERYTHING for (carry them from place to place, put pacis back in, feed them their bottles and then spoon-feed them, put in car seats, etc.) A friend who had a singleton and then twins said that for her, it seemed so much easier once her twins could climb into their car seats by themselves. Just simple things like that, when you have to do them twice each time for a looong period of time, can really drain you!

Overall though, I think the more difficult stages (newborn stage, separation anxiety, teething, possibly potty-training) would be tougher with two at the same stage, but other times it would be easier than having two at different stages.

 

I don't really have anything the complete that sentence... However, I am really struggling right now w/having my newborn (8 week) twins and my just turned 2 daughter. I often say my day "off" is when she goes to the sitters for the day and I am alone with the twins. Had I had twins first, I would have had a lot of help with them. B/c I have a toddler, the "help" I get with twins is having people watch her or come over and entertain her. Going out is a nightmare if the twins suddenly need to nurse and she goes into temper tantrum mode. I feel like twins are kinda easy b/c you are already doing what you need to do for one newborn so you just do extra for the 2nd. THat is very different than taking care of the kids at different stages, for instance my DD recently potty trained and did wonderfully, but if she has pants on needs assistance to get them off and to the potty and she does NOT like to have accidents. So when I am tandem feeding and the urge strikes, it is tough to take down my baracade of pillows, unlatch the twins and get to her... Ugh, sorry this got all bloggy, I have just not yet had the chance to reflect on all my struggles and this post struck a chord.

 

I absolutely agree with you. I tell people the EXACT same thing! And that is why I don't want anymore kids! I think it would be awful to have gotten this far and then have to start over and have kids on different themes/foods/naps/activities. I think that would be MUCH worse/harder than having two doing the SAME thing! Totally.

I think it would be soooo hard to have one 2 yr old going to classes all week in the morning etc and having the one nap freedom and then having a new baby and having to be home all over again for 4 naps!! It's sooo nice to have EVERYONE doing the SAME thing at the SAME time!

I really do consider myself lucky!

 

Well, I am still relatively new to this so right now I don't feel like anything is harder than a first-time mom of two at the same time, and my sweet friends with their singletons just "empathize" with me all day long but have NO IDEA how much I would love to get to hold my babies all day long as they do...so I had a little twinkle in my eye when recently they decided to "share" babysitting duties with each other 1 day each week a piece while working part-time, and suddenly on those days they are each at my house all day because it is "just so hard" being alone with two babies! I nod to them that I completely understand. I am sure they will probably have it harder down the line when they have their next ones - and at that point I will be a lot more understanding with them than they have ever been with me! LOL!

 

I've done it both ways, so I realize what it's like! My first two kids are only 11 months apart.

 

There are difficulties both ways...although my boys are 20 months older than baby so not necessarily "close" in age.

The hardest parts of having twins for me was the newborn, floppy phase where it was hard to hold two and the fact that I couldn't just pick up and go somewhere. When they were babies, I needed another pair of hands if I wanted to go to someone's house for a party or something, and I didn't want to impose on other people, expecting them to hold my babies. KWIM.

It's also very hard meeting the boys' attention and potty training needs at their age, while meeting the basic-necessity needs of a baby too.

 

...never got to experience the overwhelmingly awesome feeling of tandem nursing, regardless of how they were pulling at your nipples
...never got to peek into them in their crib and realize that even though they didn't have a real understanding of how to work their little hands, they've somehow reached out and are holding hands in their sleep
...had to put their one at a time newborn back in the crib and sit there wishing they were still holding him/her, we always had another who was going to want to be cuddled very soon
...had to spend the same amount on diapers and formula but had to deal with it for twice as long, same with potty training
...had to pay for two complete deliveries at the hospital, we had one hospital bill- it may be bigger than one of theirs but less expensive than two individual deliveries
...needs to have toys on hand for two age groups (yes, even within a year they will have different preferences in toys) we get to get rid of them or store them

Having twins is hard work, especially in the first year. The benefits will become much more evident as your babies get older and the sleep deprivation subsides significantly(I have a grown son also, it never totally goes away.) I have taken to telling people that having twins is like the wildest roller coaster ever, it's something I wouldn't give up for anything and it's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...sometimes all within the same moments.

 

I love this thread b/c lately I have had several parents (mostly STRANGERS!) come up to me and say, "you think you've got it bad, I had a baby and a toddler at the same time...", or "we did it the hard way and had 3 babies in 4 years.", etc. I never said I had it worse/harder!!! I'm just trying to get through Wal-Mart!!! It's not like I was standing there going, "oh my this is sooo hard!"

I think they don't realize how hard it is carrying/holding/feeding 2 crying newborn babies at the same time. Until they can sit up on their own I think it has to be harder physically dealing with 2 the same age!!

 

Here is a fun little saying I came up with;

"Twin mom's do twice the work of a singleton mom on half the sleep."

Now mom's with twin's + singletons that is a whole 'nother story