Anyone not do, or not planning to do, CIO?

G and E mom said

That's exactly what I saw too. She wanted to know if anyone didn't do CIO, several people like me told her yeah, we didn't do it. But then people started say hey, you've only been a mom for a couple of weeks so watch out, you might end up running to CIO just like we did.
How is that not like formula feeding moms jumping into the the breastfeeding forum and hey, you're probably going to end up giving bottles so don't judge! Of course someone still deciding should read this thread, because GandEmom is right, there seems to be a vocal preference for CIO on TS. But the title is not, what are all the options. She obviously wanted to hear from people who didn't do it (and maybe know that she is not alone). I remember feeling very alone and very different from the majority of TS in my first year so I can relate to that.

 

I'm sorry Melissa, but that's just creative editing. No one responded with anything like that until AFTER the post took a judgmental turn. It was that I responded to. It's just not accurate or fair to suggest I jumped down the throat of a mom who JUST asked for input on non-CIO methods. I tried very hard to not jump down her throat at all.

 

The OP even seems to acknowledge that the future is not set in stone.

When I was a first time mom with my DD, I had never heard of CIO. I belonged to a Moms group of 15 and never did anyone utter CIO. It wasnt until I was a member of TS did I learn what that is. And while it does seem to be discussed in threads alot, it never made me think that was what I was supposed to do. I never felt any pressure just because it was mentioned. You have to take your own path and run with it. Make a game plan and stick to it and just have enough belief in your skills as a parent that if you have to make changes, then be flexible. That's all.

I agree very much with the bolded part. She didnt ask for "well your babies are only "x" weeks old, how can you possibly know?" "My kids are older, so let me tell you something." The OP just like the rest of us will learn what works through trial and error.

 

And no one gave her that until she posted that she was surprised how many people did CIO and that her research indicated how bad it was. I would urge you to go back and look at the posts yourself. Every single one was supportive until after she posted again and was judgmental. I don't go to the BFing forum, but if I saw a thread there by an expectant mother criticizing anyone who didn't BF, I probably would respond the same way.

 

I have read all the posts multiple times since this thread is pretty heated. So what, she did "research" and is "surprised" to see how many do CIO and is opposed at this point to doing it. How is that judgmental? Its her feelings and she is entitled to them. ardon: And you were the first to point out to her that her kids were still little and to basically never say never.

 

It read judgmental to me, and yes I was the first to respond to that. I don't believe I was rude at all. I'm clearly not the only one who felt that way. She is absolutely entitled to her opinion, but you have to expect some reaction if you put that opinion out there. People react to a suggestion that they parented badly. She is entitled to her opinion, and others are entitled to theirs. At this point, the conversation has become about whether people were justified in being a little offended, and you can't defend one person's right to an opinion without defending everyone's right to an opinion.

If I posted a thread about CIO techniques and inserted a post about my opinion that people who don't do CIO are wrong, I'm sure I'd hear from the same people who are upset with me in this thread. That's how things work. (And for the record, I don't think that people who don't do CIO are wrong, and I don't think you HAVE to do CIO. I do think it is a valid choice that is actually NOT akin to child abuse.)

 

Oh, I so rarely join the heated posts but this is kind of fun. Maybe I am in a goofy mood because usually I hate conflict, but I like to think of this as healthy discussion and at the end of the day we could all still be friends online and agree to disagree?? (I hope no one jumps down my throat when I ask about poop color on another thread because they remember I posted here...heh heh) But seriously, I am not so sure it was you, GandEMom, who even started the "heat", but I am not going to say who I think it was...heh heh. Anyway, I love and hate semantics at the same time, but saying repeatedly that you are not judging pretty much signals you are in fact judging. So, say it with gusto and don't backtrack, or, post about what you wanted to say in the first place...why are there so many gol darn CIO posts on here???? (Although, it is weird to say you feel pressured...as Meximeli said, you could just not open the post.) And, seriously, DO NOT feel pressured from a forum. You are in control. And there is a great sticky on here talking about non-CIO methods - it is in the first year handbook. Check it out - that handbook is awesome!

So, should we talk about vaccinations now? Just kidding...

 

we never did CIO. They STTN at about 10weeks, done with the night bottles at about 4 months. i feel like sometimes its portrayed as a given that you'll need to do CIO with twins and i just don't agree.

 

Can I just say, I love this idea!

I hope I didnt do anything! Im confused!

 

Maybe the same reason someone against CIO would click on a CIO topic and leave a snarky remark?

To the OP, I agree with others when they say you have to do what you think is best for you and your kids. I don't think that there really is a 'right' way to parent, although some would swear that there is. Different things work for different kids/families. Trust your gut. GL!

 

Mine cry it out when all else fails. It's what works for me AND keeps me remotely sane since I have zero help at home. To each their own.

 

I think the main reason you find mostly topics on CIO and not other sleeping methods is because for a lot of people, nothing else works. It's a good point though, I have yet to see a topic on non-CIO methods that tells us exactly how people did it.

Personally, I don't think it's wrong to tell someone who is dead set on something that she may have to change her mind. Yes, it's like telling a mom who is dead set on breastfeeding that she might have to use formula. But I think it's important to be prepared to the fact that what you really believe in MIGHT NOT WORK.

All kids are different. Some things will work, some won't. You'll have to experiment. Just because some babies STTN at 8 weeks without much of an issue doesn't mean you won't have a kid who will want to wake up every 2 hours until 2. It doesn't mean either that the first mom had perfect techniques and the other one didn't... it just depends on the kids.