Anyone not do, or not planning to do, CIO?

Our twins are only 6 weeks old, but we are pretty certain, at least at this point, that we are not going to do any of the CIO methods in the future. Any other twin parents out there who did not do CIO? How is that going for you? I would love to hear your stories/suggestions.

Thanks!

 

The No-Cry Sleep Solution is a great book if you have problems getting them to sleep but don't want to do CIO. It has lots of suggestions and ideas. (You might not need it if you don't have problems though).
My biggest advice would be to try and always put them down awake (even if you have to rock them until they are very drowsy or stand by the crib and stroke their heads) because that way they will learn early on to put themselves to sleep.

 

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I would never leave a loved one of any age to cry themselves to sleep.
I have two happy healthy 5 year olds who have no problems falling or staying asleep, and the only time they ever cried themselves to sleep was in their car seats on a long road trip. (And it broke my heart!)

 

I agree with the putting them down drowsy. The eat/play/sleep schedule helped us with this with the babies. At 2 months, I can put them down wide awake but sleepy and they will go down to sleep. The most they have ever done was fuss for a few minutes before settling. One thing you should do is try to learn when your baby is crying vs when they are fussing. Mine will click/kind of moan when they are fussing, I know if they are doing that, they are either going to settle or start a full out cry. Often, I leave them to see which way it goes, if it leads to crying, I go to them. We don't have plans to do CIO for night feedings. For my older son, we just shortened how much we fed him and we plan to do the same if these two don't sleep through the night.

 

DITTO!!!! I read that book before I had a problem and then never really did. We had some rough patches here and there, but I just went through different ways of soothing them without picking them back up whenever possible. That way they knew I was there, but that it was still time for sleep. If they had a really hard time, of course I would pick them up, but I would pat, sing, hum, rub, etc. first and usually that was enough. If you don't want to do CIO, you don't have to, even with twins! :good: We have great sleepers and they were even rocked and nursed to sleep at different points along the way :spy: I know some people will tell you CIO is the only way or that helping them to sleep will spoil them, but you'll have to see for your own children. Mine were very adaptable, and as long as I was consistent, I was able to switch from putting them down "milk drunk" and out cold to eventually just putting them down, saying goodnight, and leaving. GL, and if you have any questions, feel free to PM me

 

I never heard of CIO until I came to this site. I did not follow it but I also had decided right off the bat that I would not get into the habit of rocking my kids to sleep or holding them all the time. My twins were really coliky so it made it a little difficult but we used the swind and bouncy's alot. I always made sure I put them in their cribs awake and sometimes I had to go back in like a million times to plug their soothers in but it only took a couple of days of that until they were fine. then it came to the point where they used their blankets to self sooth. There are times where they wake up and cried for a couple of minutes but then would fall right back to sleep. My boys were nine months before they decided they were ready to sleep through the night on their own. Go with what works for you

 

I did not do CIO with my boys. They woke until they were 9 months old for a bottle and then they just sort of dropped it on their own. I had my way of helping it along, but it did not involve CIO. I would take longer and longer to get to them and I decreased the amount in the bottle since they werent taking all of it.

However, if I needed to do it I would have.

 

Thanks for your responses! I will check out the No Cry book you all suggested. That sounds great. I had heard about it, but never read it.

I don't mean this to sound criticizing or anything, but I am kind of shocked to see CIO as what the overwhelming majority of people do, at least on this site.

I too rock our boys, breastfeed them to sleep, hold them a lot etc and I plan to continue doing it. It works for us. And In all the research and reading,( and now first hand experience), I have done about child development, I feel certain that fulfilling their dependency needs in infancy will help to erase these needs as they get older rather than spoil them. So, CIO is not the way to go for our family. I understand that's not how many other people see it, and I am not trying to judge those who use it.
But I am really surprised to see how many people do it.

 

Teaching, or being able to let your babies fall asleep without any help is wonderful. My last baby always got put down awake, but tired and I never had any major issues with him not sleeping. My twins were a different story unfortunately. CIO worked for one but not the other. CIO isn't something I cared to do, but did it some. Good luck.

 

Just be sure you don't judge those of us who did CIO, because you are a long way away from being able to say that you successfully didn't. I did CIO with my two, and they are wonderfully happy, healthy, well-adjusted children. I did a lot of my own research and believe very strongly that healthy sleep habits are extremely important - however you get your kids there. You absolutely don't have to do CIO, and many people have given you success stories, but be very careful about judging those who do because, like you noticed, the majority do. Actually, I would say that the majority of moms I know do end up doing some form of CIO - not just on this site or with twins.

 

I've always thought that setting good habits from the beginning would help eliminate the need for true CIO. So, to that end, we got our kids on a good schedule from day one -- we used eat, play, sleep. I never fed them to sleep, and I never rocked them to sleep -- I always put them down awake (although tightly swaddled and with white noise on, and blackout shades drawn), so they'd learn to fall asleep themselves.

And, it worked. Whenever we've gone through some rough patches, I'd go in and pat someone without picking up, sing, etc.

Like a PP said, I also learned to tell the difference between fussing/talking before sleep, and all-out crying. I'm fairly uncomfortable leaving a child to do the latter, but sometimes a baby just needs to let off steam for a few minutes before bed. I usually watched the clock, and wouldn't let any fussing go on for more than 5 minutes, and would go in sooner if it became a roar.

I do think teaching babies how to soothe themselves back to sleep (without bottle or breast or rocking) is the key, though, if you want to avoid CIO!

 

We never did CIO with any of our children either, it just wasn't for us. My sister did it with hers and had tremendous success. We feed and rock the babies to sleep, like we did with our older two and at some point, they just didn't need it anymore (between 9 and 12 months) and went to sleep on their own put awake in their cots, we expect te same to happen with the twinkies. Now there were nights or naptimes where i would need to stay by the cot holding their hand or just placing a hand on them until they went to sleep, but i found it rather bonding although time consuming sometimes. Anyways, CIO is great for some people, but isn't for everybody. I also found the baby whisperer great.

 

My first comment is your babies are only 6 weeks old! At six weeks I bet most parents think they will never do CIO. I like you, thought it was the wrong thing to do, I rushed in at every peep and breastfed on demand. At 11 months I lost it, they were up every 1-3 hrs every night, after 11 months of almost non-existent sleep everyone in the house needed a new plan of attack. We did CIO and after 3 nights my two have been the most wonderful sleepers.....and two of the most well adjusted 3 year olds you'd ever meet :bubble:

 

Ditto her post completely
Sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone like anything else. I helped my babies reach it by creating a regular bedtime routine and sticking with it. I wasnt against bringing them to my bed (if needed), or falling asleep in the rocking chair with them either. Another good book is Dr Sears - Night time parenting.

 

I also liked Baby Whisperer. she has some down to earth methods of helping you help them... for us it was key to get them to fall asleep themselves. I didn't want to have to be there every night to rock them to sleep. in ways maybe I missed out on some sweet moments, but there are two of them, and now they are very well adjusted and can sleep on their own, and that's great for all of us.

Baby Whisperer talks about you being there, but shushing and patting them back to sleep... not just leaving them to CIO fully. I will say that for us, I've tried times of crying to get them to sleep and it seems that when I give up and go in there was always something wrong... diaper malfunction, or leg caught in the crib etc... for the most part ours - if they are overly tired - will cry for 1 to 2 minutes and then fall asleep... its great that its abreviated.

Also, when mine were 5 wks old, we started swaddling again... that was a lifesaver! that and white noise. ours were STTN 8 hrs by 8 wks... and continued to at least 10 hrs until 6 months... then TEETHING set in... and we'd get weeks of good sleep and then not. we only have 5 more teeth to come in, and I can't wait until that's over.

anyway, good luck with what you decide.

 

People do what works best for them. All people are different and all babies are different. Some moms and dads have more patience and don't mind being up all hours of the night until their kids are one or two years old. I think that's wonderful. I never had to do REAL CIO, mine just slept on their own at night BUT there have been occasions for naps when I've tried it. It didn't always work but it was the LAST resort. There does come a time where there is just NOTHING you can do. Babies are overtired and you're at your wits end. You KNOW the baby MUST sleep for his/her own good and.. it's just tough. I don't think anyone WANTS to do CIO. That's another thing to keep in mind. It's not like someone gets pregnant and goes.. "I'm definitely going to do CIO with this kid!" That's just not how it transpires. It's like anything-- it evolves out of necessity sometimes.

I have nothing against it, at all. I am glad tho, that I knew to put my babies in their beds drowsy but AWAKE and never nursed/fed them, or rocked them to sleep. I think that would have led to issues later w/ them not being able to get themselves to sleep.

You do what you NEED to do AT THE TIME.

At six weeks, you cannot predict.

The first thing that came to my mind when I read your post was... "even the best laid plans...."

Good luck!

 

After going through some major sleep hurdles with one of my sons, I realize that the key is....there is no key! :lol: Every child is different, every parent is different, and sometimes you need to experiment to figure out what's right for each of you.

Nate will sleep no matter what. I can nurse him into oblivion, or put him down awake. Either way, he'll go to sleep (with a few minutes of fussing if he's awake), and sleep the whole night.

Jack is very touchy, and we went through some very rough patches with him. One night in desperation, I let him cry. He screamed (not cried) for a solid hour. He sounded like a wild animal. I knew that CIO just wasn't right for him. What finally worked (after trying about a dozen other things) is to give him a nightly "pep" talk where I tell him that night time is for sleeping, he's never alone, etc. Granted, he was around 11 months old (not a newborn), but this is what worked for him.

So my advice is, stay flexible. There are many ways to encourage babies to sleep (with or without CIO).

Best of luck!

 

We didn't do cio either. My girls go into their room and lay down and sleep now

 

I agree that it's important to keep in mind every child is different. I wouldn't have said that after the twins were born... they CIO'd at 12 weeks and never looked back and I always said I'd do it again with the next baby, DS. HOWEVER, he had other plans. CIO has never worked for him. He screams for hours, stuffs up, and then sobbs till he passes out (I only know this because for a while in my desperation I really wanted to make it work) and then wakes 10 mins later refreshed and ready for another hour. He still wakes every 3 hours (sometimes 4 or 5), and shows no sign of stopping. I'm just hoping he STTN before potty training . I just kind of know he's not ready, and I'm not pushing him anymore. That being said, yesterday and the day before I forgot to turn on his monitor till 4 am (I need a "worlds worst mommy" mug, I know) and felt just awful knowing he probably cried at least once for over an hour or more. So I may have let him CIO by mistake. But I promised him I won't let it happen again, so the monitor stays on all day and night now .

 

Thanks for the responses and positive stories about not doing CIO from many of you. I really, really appreciate it!

I got a copy of the No Cry Sleep Solution, and I really love it already. I want to get a copy for all the parents I know! I I would highly, highly recommend it for other new moms out there vwho are determined to find another approach than CIO. Thank you so, so much for recommending it! Thanks also for the Dr. Sears book recommendation. I have read, and love, the Baby Book.

For anyone who might be thinking of getting the No Cry Sleep Solution, the book does not offer a method per se or any easy quick fixes. But it does address how to understand your babies' sleep habits and direct them toward sleeping through the night. The author readily admits that it is a process that will take time. She wrote the book because she too was a seriously sleep deprived mother who felt there had to be another option besides just never sleeping or CIO. So she did lots of research about baby sleep patterns and lots of research with fellow moms who were also in the same boat. And the best part is that it is full of inspiring information so that each family can find a solution that works for them.

I agree that at 6 weeks I can't say what the future holds. There is certainly no doubt about that. I recognize that as a mom of twins I will constantly be adapting and compromising and just trying to get by! haha. But at the same time I firmly believe that there are other ways out there to get my children to sleep besides CIO.

Let me be clear---I am not trying to judge those who use CIO. Although I am opposed to it, that was not why I wrote this post. I wrote in because the vast majority of posts about sleep on this site refer to CIO, and I know I can't be the only one who is firmly opposed to that approach and is looking for other solutions/options even if they take longer. My comment about being surprised that so many do CIO came from the fact that I can find countless threads on here about CIO but very little about other options that might be employed. As a new mom I am quickly learning that there is soooo much pressure out there to do CIO and that being opposed to it can be quite controversial in many circles. I am learning that as new parents try to find sleep solutions it can sometimes feel like CIO is the *only* option out there.

Like I said, if a person wants to do CIO then that's their decision. My point is not to judge that. But if a person feels strongly about not doing CIO they should not be made to feel they are being overly idealistic or naive to try and find other solutions. Much recent scientific research on child brain development strongly argues against CIO (a new book called The Science of Parenting offers a lot of this research in a readable format). But, for me, knowing that I don't want to do CIO does not make it any easier at 3:00 AM when I am exhausted. That's why I really like the No Cry Sleep Solution. It argues you have otter options besides either going without sleep or CIO, even if you have a horrible sleeper.

I hope this post can lead others to that book. You can find used copies on line for fairly cheap. The author's name is Elizabeth Pantley.

 

Where and who are you feeling pressured from to do CIO? I think there are so many CIO entries on here because sleep issues are a real problem only magnified with multiples. I hope to not have to do full-blown CIO and I have been pretty lucky so far, but I have read every sleep book and have taken bits and pieces from all of them, including the 5, 10, 15 min graduated extinction method. Personally I love HSHHC and I like the fact that he is a sleep expert with credentials in that particular area. I really like the tone of Elizabeth Pantley's book and she seems great, but it isn't for everyone and it wasn't for me because the stuff that was helpful was already covered in HSHHC, Dr. Weissbluth was one of her influences. And I know that I have not encountered a fraction of the problems some of these poor mommies have. That being said, I think every mom will make the right decision for their child because it will be from their heart. Personally, my husband and I are terrible sleepers and I will not allow my children to become that way, no matter what I have to do to train them. So your decision will be the right one for you.

That being said, I must beg to make a point. Scientific method is a truely pure scientific process, free of biases, religion, politics, or other factors. Usually consists of multiple studies over time, and that research is scrutinized, validated, over and over again using controls. A scientific "observation" from 1 or 2 studies is very different and ultimately proves nothing because it isn't as thorough in its controls. It is useful for backing theories, but there is always another study that disproves it. Look up any of these "theory" books and you will really enjoy reading how all those studies are disproved. The Science of Parenting is based on observational research studies, not controlled research. It is just something to keep in mind because there is a very big difference and it can be misleading. Depending on who you read or ask, much research suggests...yadda yadda yadda. After all, even Dr. Sears is in the business of selling books - look how many are out there. They all add value, I am not saying they don't, but they don't offer the simple answer. So, my two cents, no one should feel bad for using CIO or not using it. Kudos for you and kudos for everyone else!!!

 

I knew I shouldn't click on this topic but I did anyway. Sleep training of every method is very individual to the parent, child, and situation. Please do not judge and please don't play the "much recent scientific research" card. :gah:

 

I have said several times I am not judging. I am, however, starting to feel judged by a few of you just for bringing up this topic. All I am saying is that my research has led me to other decisions. I thought this forum was for talking about issues, thoughts, and concerns when raising twins. i don't understand why choosing to not do CIO, and to wish to talk about it, is so offensive.

As for why I feel a lot of pressure, I am referring to the fact that when there are boards such as this one I can find a great deal of info about CIO, and but very little on other methods.. This can be discouraging to new moms who are looking for resources. When I wrote in asking about not doing CIO I got a few responses suggesting my ideas would change as my kids got older, that I might wind up doing CIO after all. That may be true, but I was hoping to discuss not doing CIO--not be told that I might not be able to get around it. This does not make me feel that I HAVE to do CIO by any means, but it's not very encouraging either. There were plenty of encouraging responses too! My main point here is that there are simply not many resources in this messageboard for those not wishing to do CIO.

Rebekah J, what exactly do you mean by: "Please do not judge and please don't play the "much recent scientific research" card. :gah:
Why in the world is that not a valid topic of discussion and why do you find it so offensive? I am not trying to argue with you in a mean way. I seriously don't understand how that is not a valid discussion point on a page about parenting. If you don't agree with the research then that's totally your right. But it's also my right to discuss theses topics.

And, of course, as you say every sleep training method is individual.I agree. And all these methods are part of what I thought was discussed here. You said you should not have clicked on this post. Why?
There are many posts about CIO--how to, when, why, for how long, etc. Do you find those threads problematic? What is wrong with me wanting to discuss not using CIO?
i would appreciate some clarity if you would be willing to provide it. I spoke my opinion hoping to have a discussion with other twin moms and I can't understand why you find this so problematic.

 

Okay, everyone including myself take a deep breath. *breath* Training children to sleep (I call anything that actively works towards a goal of STTN to be 'training') is a very emotional topic. I'm not sure why, perhaps it's because we're all so sleep deprived. :/ Also, you have to hold strongly to whatever method you chose to resist giving your LOs whatever short-term comfort they're asking for. I'm very sorry if you feel pressured to do full, flat-out CIO, that would be an awful thing to have to do if you're not committed to it. Discussions of all sort of sleep training are welcome here, and you should feel welcome to discuss them. I personally am trying a modified check-n-console, in fact I'm in the very first night of it, and it's being brutal. :faint: Perhaps I was being sensitive to what sounded like judgementalism in the various posts, maybe not even the ones from you.

As for the scientific research comment, that was very specific to one line that you said "Much recent scientific research on child brain development strongly argues against CIO." PP Betsy had an excellent rejoinder to that in describing the scientific method and the process of proving or disproving theories. My personal research on the topic has seen an entirely different theory. It doesn't mean my personal research is false or that yours is false, they're just different theories that have yet to be really proven. Every method has studies and experts backing it up. I believe at this point that all people have to go on is theories, opinions and experience with their own kids.

 

I think everything was going just fine until you brought up your "scientific research" thing.

That is unfair and could TRULY be said about anything... "Not doing CIO destroys babies brains.." Proven by Dr. Who.

Everyone has a right to an opinion but as long as no one is judging.. they shouldn't be putting things like that in here.

Good luck

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with discussing non-CIO methods of sleep training, and you got a lot of great responses from moms who didn't do CIO. The problem for me arose in two ways: (1) your observation about how "suprised" you were that so many moms here did CIO and (2) now the thing about the scientific research that CIO harms babies. Even if you say you are not judging, both of those statements sound like judging, and you are going to get pushback from moms who have done CIO. I'm not going to tell you that you will end up doing CIO - maybe you will, maybe you won't. But, in all honesty, until you get another year or so into it, I'm not inclined to be judged by you. It's one thing for a mom who didn't do CIO to say that she believes it's awful. It's another for someone who hasn't crossed that bridge yet, and that's true of all parenting. And I think we are all guilty of it in one respect or another. We've all been new moms who think we are going to do or not do something and later realize that we were wrong. No one gets to the point of doing CIO lightly, and no one really enjoys it. I would be in the camp of people who think it's a great tool, but I've had the benefit of not only my own reading and research but the observation of how much happier my son was once he was STTN. And, honestly, I think some of the "no-cry" or graduated methods result in more crying over a longer period of time, so they are not for me. That doesn't mean they aren't great for someone who sees wisdom in them. We can only make the choices that make the most sense to us and that we can most believe in.

At the end of the day, what I believe is that we as parents have an obligation to instill good sleep habits in our children. The methods we use (CIO, no CIO, cosleeping, independent sleeping, etc.) are up to us. You are welcome to discuss tips on ANY of these methods, but beware of crossing the line into judging others because people are going to get upset and you are going to get the push back you've gotten in this thread. Which is fine if you want to debate the merits of CIO, but be prepared going in. I've got two 21 month olds STTN, and you are just getting started. So, I'm not going to be inclined to believe that you are right and I'm wrong. That's just human nature.

Best of luck to you, and I'm glad you got good recommendations.

 

I'm wondering why mothers who did do CIO and actively support CIO would click on this topic at all. The title clearly indicates she's looking to know who else didn't do CIO and what did they do.

Jumping in and defending CIO is kind of like people with strong Christian faith jumping into a topic that was titled "Are there any other Jewish families on TS?" and defending their right to be Christian.

Most of us who didn't do CIO have strong reasons why we didn't choose to do it. We are entitled to feel that way. I don't think anyone should be repremanded or called judgement for feeling like leaving a baby to cry itself to sleep is not something they want to do.

Yes, everybody has their own parenting style. No no one is forced to follow a certain style.

I'm especially shocked to see other TS members who have been in the minority on very other topics, jumping into this thread and deeming it judgemental. Do we have to create an attachment parenting subform where babywearing cosleepers are fee to talk about our methods of teaching our children to sleep in peace???

 

Crap. I had a big reply typed out and I lost it.

In a nutshell, I click on a lot of topics that might interest me, and I was very interested in reading what other people have done. I am a believer in CIO for people who want to do it, but I am still interested in other people's thoughts and opinions. Of course there is no problem with discussion non-CIO methods, but I think it is just crazy to think that there isn't going to be a dispute if you are judgmental of CIO. We all respond on issues that hit close to home or that we care passionately about. For the record, I would probably also click on an thread entitled "Anyone not vaccinating?" And, if it were disseminating false information, I would respond. I can't believe it is seriously suprising to you or anyone else to see me respond on this issue, and I have NEVER tried to shut down anyone else responding in opposition to me - even recently when I was villified for 6 pages. We all post knowing that others may feel differently.

I was also careful to say that I have a different perspective on it coming from you, given that you have kids who are older, as opposed to someone who hasn't BTDT. I do respect your views on this issue, more than I think you respect mine.

No one is being called judgmental for not wanting to do CIO, but statements were made beyond that, and those statements were judgmental. And that's fine. Judge. Post your opinions and thoughts, but just don't be surprised to hear opinions and thoughts from the other side if you go down that road.

 

There aren't just two sleep training methods - CIO and not CIO. It's more of a spectrum with full CIO anchoring one end and co-sleeping/nursing on demand is on the other end. In between are many things like nursing to sleep then putting down, rocking, check&console, scheduled wakening, etc. Most of us have tried multiple methods to get our kids to sleep, depending on the kid, the day, the situation. One does not have to be EITHER an "active CIO supporter" OR a "babywearing cosleeper". I personally clicked on the topic hoping (however foolishly) to see discussion of topics such as soothing techniques, sleep associations, seperation anxiety, etc.

It's telling for you to compare sleep methods to religion - people seem to have as strong of beliefs on both topics. No one is saying that people can't talk about whatever sleep methods they chose, but I would say that the topic of the original post is not something as neutral as "Are there any other Jewish families on TS?" -- it was more of "Are there any people here who think Christianity is wrong and want a better religion?"

To cycle back around to the original question, however phrased, one method the OP might want to look into The SleepEasy Solution which tries to do things gradually. Another is a method that I can't remember the name of - timed wakings? - where you determine your baby's habitual nighttime wake-up times and wake them up a little bit before that, in an attempt to short-circuit the habits. I can try to track down the name if you're interested.

 

5 kids & no CIO here :nea:

We have great sleepers here & absolutely no regrets on NOT doing CIO.

 

I didn't do CIO with my 2.5 year old, and don't plan to with my twins. I read the "No cry Sleep Solution" and utilized parts of that book. I also allow my children to cosleep with me if they feel the need. So, although the CIO is great for some people, it doesn't work with our family's needs.

 

"Much recent scientific research on child brain development strongly argues against CIO (a new book called The Science of Parenting offers a lot of this research in a readable format)."

"Research" can be produced to support almost any argument. That does not necessarily make the argument fact. Plus, as PPs have stated, the findings would have to be replicated many times in different studies. "Much scientific research" is a poor argument against CIO. Should you choose not to do CIO, that's great, but I wouldn't base it on "research."

I have read both HSHHC and The No Cry Sleep Solution. Both books have great information on sleep and strategies to help babies sleep better. I use ideas from both books. Good luck, and I hope you have great sleepers!

 

Meximeli - Hey there - I read each and every post on here - It is of course my right unless it is locked as private and besides, it is great information sharing, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I am also still in the deciding period of CIO so I thought responses would be interesting. But I don't think it is realistic to not expect people to read - especially when it gets to 2 pages..heh heh. Hot spicy topic!

G&EMom - Treat this site as a gathering of parents sharing all their vast experiences and take it for what it is. You initial post was a great call for a sharing of stories. It really wasn't until you posted later that you got to what you really wanted to post about maybe? The frequency of CIO? In particular,this line "I am learning that as new parents try to find sleep solutions it can sometimes feel like CIO is the *only* option out there." is really your experience yet you expressed it was the feeling of many new parents? None that I know actually. So I think next time just be totally up front from the get go, unless of course you wanted to have the argument, surely you knew it would start one?

You should not feel pressured to do CIO. You will make the right decision for you. You just have to be careful about saying things like, "I am not trying to judge or criticize..but..." Just an observation. And I think a couple of other posters didn't really help your cause by being a little more adament on your behalf...LOL. It is a fact that there is no research even close to proving anything about CIO, in fact, if you want to tally it up by uncontrolled studies, more does exist disproving that it is harmful, but that still means nothing. Doesn't make it feel any different though when you are standing with that sweet little crier and have to decide what is best for them, to not let them cry, or to help them sleep quickly. Each mother will make the right decision for her child.

edited as I was writing to wrong mom - E&M mom...heh heh...