My girls are just about 3 months old. Both are CHUBBY. Like, michelin man thighs! So, I've noticed that even if I do a "dream feed" around 10, they still wake up at 12-1 for a feeding...except that sometimes they don't really eat...they just kind of suck and then fall asleep after a couple of minutes. They then wake up again at about 3-4. (Btw, I breastfeed). Is it too early to let the CIO for that midnight feeding? Are they old enough to go that long? I just get the feeling that they are waking out of habit rather than hunger, you know? Especially since they wake up at that time regardless of if I feed them last at 7:00 or 10:00...
You can let them cry whenever you want, they're your babies! Would they take a paci? You could try that at midnight instead of the feeding.
I agree, they are your babies. Would I? No. At that age I didn't eventhough I was so tired I felt like doing it. I think they suggest six months+ because that's when they can grasp the concept that you aren't going in and they can learn to soothe themselves. I did it at 8 months for night feedings and it worked in one night. Good luck!!
At 2 months, I personally would not let them cry. I would try offering them a paci or comforting them in some way other than feeding if you think they aren't truly hungry at that time.
If you want your babies to learn that mommy is not always there when they need/want her go right ahead. :spiteful:
At only three months old, it's too early for CIO. CIO implies that your babies have the ability to self soothe, and you use CIO to help them learn the skill of soothing themselves. Babies simply don't develop the self soothing mechanisms until six months on average. So yes, it is too early. Without doing something, you're teaching your babies that when they cry, no one will respond. Most breastfed babies who are three months old -- no matter how chunky -- can't go more than three or four (or maybe five) hours without eating. Breastmilk is digested quickly, so your babies are probably waking because they have nothing in their stomachs. If you're asking for personal opinions, I'd say that you should continue to feed them at midnight when they wake. I'd drop the dreamfeed, but if they're waking up regularly at a certain time, I'd feed them. In the next month or so your babies will develop the ability to sleep longer at night and you won't have this problem. Hang in there.
I have to agree that at 2.5 months it's too early for CIO. What you can try is when they sort of wake up, try a paci. If they just want the soothing motion of sucking, the paci will help them go back to sleep. But if they are really hungry, the paci won't work anyways. This will also allow you to put off or extend the time between feedings by a half hour or so. So if they normally wake at 12:30, give them a paci and try to hold them off until 1am. If they are crying hungry, I would give in and feed them, but if they are snoozy and just fussing a bit, I would try to make them wait. Within a few days you'll either see them waking up later to eat, or consistently still being hungry at 12:30, and if that's the case then they truly aren't ready to extend their nighttime feedings yet.
For me personally, 3 months is too young to let them cry. I did not start CIO (I had to do it for naps) until they were 6 months old. I agree with the suggestions of continuing to feed them or to try to give them a paci at the midnight feeding for the time being.
I actually asked their pedi before I decided to do CIO for night feedings. My boys were early and tiny so I wasn't sure when they shouldn't be hungry at night anymore. For my boys, it was 7 months. I was doing formula though so I could tell their Dr. exactly how much they were eating every day. It might be worth a call to their doctor or just wait for the next well visit. My theory was that it couldn't hurt them to feed them, it only hurt me (and although it sucked, I survived).
You don't have to let them CIO but you can take your time getting to them. When my boys wake up at night, sometimes they are just fussing. I go to the bathroom and when I come out they have gone back to sleep.
At 2 months, no I wouldn't do CIO. The earliest I did it with my kids was 6 months. Since the dreamfeed doesn't seem to be doing much, I would drop it, and let them try to naturally stretch out those feedings on their own. My babies were still up every 3-4 hours at that age.
Ouch was exactly my reaction to that post! Yikes. In any case, I do think they are too young to do CIO maybe a pacifier? Good luck and please keep asking for feedback, it's not generally that painful! Though I suspect that maybe she was kidding.. I hope she was anyway... ??
:slap: I would drop the dreamfeed since it doesnt seem to be doing anything for them. I would still go to them and nurse them when they wake in the middle of the night at midnight.
At this stage, they still need reassurance that you are there. I think 5-6 months is a better time to start being a little slower. :hug: I know it is hard at night. They still need to know that they are not alone in the world at this point. :hug: I hope it gets better soon!
I agree I'd drop the dream feed because that might actually be doing more to encourage them to wake. I'd let them wake on their own, and I bet they will wake when they are actually hungry. Well, I guess that is a real lesson you can teach your kids. I actually agree that at some point you'll have to do that, but obviously 3 months is too young to learn that.
My concern is not in WHAT she was saying...but HOW she said it. I get it, it's too early. That's fine. I'll wait a few more months. I'm just really tired, so that's why I was ASKING. But the thing is that she could have said the same exact thing (like many other posters) without the cattiness. But that's just me.
And we're glad you asked. That's what we're here for, to share information & support each other. :hug: I hope you're able to get some sleep soon, those first months are exhausting!
Yep, I am glad you asked as well. The first few months are very exhausting. Sometimes delivery is everything!
It's too bad when someone says something like that. I agree with you. It really was/is uncalled for esp when you are just asking a question. Sorry.
I agree but I NEVER would let them cry at 3 months old. I always waited until at least 6+ months before I let them cry. But that's just my preference. good luck with your decision. You'll know what to do. They are your babies!
Isn't the point of this forum to be able to ask for advice/feedback without feeling judged?! I will definitely think twice before asking anything on here again! My girls do the same thing and while yours are a little older, I can definitely imagine having that same question in a few weeks!!! Good luck mommy
I have to agree that that was a little uncalled for! It's a legitimate question. My opinion would be to try soothing instead of feeding for that 'not-really-hungry' wake-up. If they don't really need it and don't get the reward of nursing, they might drop it themselves.
I haven't read all the replies so forgive me if I repeat something. With my twins, I found that a dreamfeed actually caused them to wake up more even though it worked for my singeltons. I would put the twins to bed at 7:30ish (right after their 7pm bedtime bottle) and then let them go. When I did the dreamfeed at 10:30ish, they'd wake at about 3 am to eat again. When I stopped the dreamfeed they still went to 3am! From that point I never fed them before 3 am again. I'd shhh/pat/paci/etc to help them back to sleep. I didn't let them full blown cry until closer to 5 mos for naps but that's a different thread and even then it was a modified cio. Another thing I did was make sure their daytime feedings were very consistent and that they didn't snack. That way they got enough daytime calories to offset what I didn't want them having at night. By 3 mos they were sleeping 11 to 12 hrs.
I have the same issue with my babies. They are 2 months adjusted and are 16 & 14 pounds.They eat twice at night, usually every 3-4 hours they take in 180 ml (6.2 oz). However, my pediatrician (who used to be a director of NICU in Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto) told me that no matter how much they weigh it's their brain development that matters. Ferberizing (sometimes refereed to as CIO) should only be used sometime between 4 and 6 months of age. I am planning on using this method as well, but I do think it's too early still. But that's just my opinion. Also CIO is not simply leaving your baby in his crib to cry, it's a technique with "progressive waiting approach" You can read a great article about it if you click HERE Best of luck!
Oh forgot to add, I started doing "dream feed". Here is the info "The reason doctors recommend the dreamfeed, is to try to avoid you having to get up more than once in the night. When your baby is about eight weeks old, dreamfeed at 10:30 at night. If you followed the routine but didn't have the dreamfeed, your baby would go to sleep at 7pm and maybe wake between 11pm and 1am for the next feed. Let's say your baby woke at 1:30am, you would get up and feed your baby. Maybe your baby would be back in bed asleep at 2:30am, but he might wake again at 5:30am for another feed. Then, by the time you have him asleep again, it would be time to get up and start the day. With the dreamfeed, your baby may sleep until let's say 2am and then when back in bed; he is more likely to sleep until 7am. This means you have only had to get up once in the night. The other thing we are hoping for is the 2am wake will become 2:30am then 3am then 3:30am, until your baby is getting to 7am by himself." I tried this two nights ago where kids had their bottles at 8pm and went to sleep, then I fed them again while they were asleep at 10:30 and they slept till 5am for the very first time EVER! So I did it again tonight. They ate at 8pm, then I fed them at 11pm while they were sleeping. My baby boy woke up at 2:30 but I gave him pacified and turned the music on the mobile. He went back to sleep and then they woke up at 4:45. I am very happy with the way this is working. Mind you, I tried this two weeks agi and it didn't work and they kept of still waking up every 4 hours, so I think if you choose to try it, don't give up if it doesn't word, but re-try this method in a week or so
I would not do CIO at 3 months. What we did do is start putting them in a swing when they woke up to see if they were really hungry or just waking out of habit. They would both go back to sleep in the swing, so we knew it was habit. DD soon started STTN on her own and not in the swing. DS slept half the night in the swing until he was 7 months old and we did CIO. It worked really well for us though because we got to sleep!
Just FYI, a valid CIO technique is simply leaving your baby in his crib to cry. It's one that I would say the majority of moms here have used with great success, called extinction CIO. I think a lot of us would agree that the Ferber method of going back in just makes our babies angrier and results in more crying. There are lots of different valid methods of CIO.
I'm glad you asked too. My husband keeps putting them in their cribs and leaving them to cry when they are fussy during the day. Both have their moments, but my son is very fussy and we are working on changing his diet to figure out why. I often come home from running an errand and both babies are crying in the other room!
KristenLee, I think your babies are definitely too small to be left crying in my opinion. Maybe try to figure out why they are upset. I changed my "fussy" "needy" son's formula to lactose free and he is no longer "fussy". Now he is a happy little boy and believe it or not, the day I started to give him new formula, I got his first smile and coos. He is like day and night and I feel guilty of being frustrated with him for crying all the time, when this whole time all he was saying was "Mommy, my tummy hurts". Hopefully you can also talk to your doctor and try something different. My pediatrician actually said he was just being a "baby" but I ignored his advise and switched. Later when I told him that my son's behavior improved, and pediatrician said that he always thinks mothers should try a variety of formulas until they find the right one for their baby. Go figure ;-) Hopefully you'll find what is right for you babies. Best wishes! Kateryna
I started out with Ferber, but quickly realized that going in was just upsetting them more. I was successful with the extinction method with my boys(at ages 6 months, 8 months, and 9 months). Way too young to leave them crying. Babies that age tend to be just generally fussy, and need to know that you are there. I hope the diet changes help him. :hug:
yes, i used to post on here alot but received the same type of responses where i felt judged or put down so i have stopped and basically just read now....it is unfortunate because if too many stop posting, the site will eventually cease to be as informative....i think you are awsome to be on here and asking questions, no matter if someone judges you. good luck with your babies. it's tough being a twin mom and my hat is tipped off to you!!!
