Tantrum poll.. what do you find most effective?

I'm torn between ignoring them or trying to redirect them, if they really dont understand right from wrong at this age. What would you do and what has worked for you? Thanks!

 

We tell them No! For one it makes him cry even harder. The other one just stops and stares. I have had to take away toys because they are fighting over one. Sometimes we do just ignore them to see how it plays out. Usually they calm down and move on.

 

I voted other because I do/did both. I try some redirecting/distracting first, if it doesn't work then I ignore, if the tantrum goes on for a long time I might try distracting again or give them their lovey and lay them down somewhere to help them calm down.

 

I voted ignore because that worked most of the time but there were times where redirection also worked.

 

We ignore... eventually they stop and play again as if nothing happened.

 

I voted other because we do both.
It depends on what the tantrum is for.

Bad examples (but all I could think of at the time)
If the tantrum is because one person is playing with a single user toy and they want to play too then I redirect and help them find something thats interesting for them.
if the tantrum is because sister got the green sippy and he had to have the green sippy even though they have the same thing inside (when Im handing them both out) I ignore it. If he's thirsty, he'll find the other cup.

 

Ignore, ignore, ignore. And I leave them right where they are. They usually through themselves on the ground, and one of them spins around in circles. Honestly, it's kind of funny, so I try to hide my laughing.

I prefer redirection for fights or getting into thing they aren't supposed to.

 

I'm one of those strange cases where ignoring and redirecting does not work.

Redirection has not worked for us since about 7 months. They're like "What are you talking about? I want THAT toy!" And that's it. One track minds! They were/are always trying to redirect them at ECFE and I'm like "That isn't going to work..." Well, finally the teacher told me.. "Redirection really doesn't work with your kids!" I'm like.. "You're kidding me!" LOL. So, that's never been an option for us.

Ignoring is fine and dandy if you have the personality for it. I CANNOT STAND the screaming and whining and the relentless nature of it. IT WILL NOT STOP. I let them 'fight it out' for about 5 minutes and then I have to put one of them (usually baby B) in the crib or chair until he's done crying. It just escalates and gets WAY worse if I'm sitting there watching it all play out. I have the most stubborn kids on earth.

So.. I will vote other and say, perhaps, "separation from problem/issue". I put that twin somewhere else so that he/he can get over it. It's not a punishment, per se, BUT it is the ONLY way the kid can get over it!!! When he is out of sight he is over it within 3 minutes. It's like he CAnNOT let it go otherwise. (What can i say, he's half Sicilian!, not my fault!) LOL.

Sorry for soo long but some kids are different and I have two!

 

Same here. At times I have to put DS in a safe place, i.e. his cot, so he can work it out. He has throws himself backwards and arches his back and Im afraid he´ll hurt himself if I leave him on the floor. Once the screaming has stopped, I go and get him, give him a cuddle and move on. I think keeping calm is the best approach though it can be very hard.

 

LOL i wish i could do this. i'm sure i could do it if i were the only person around, but instead, being a single mom living with my parents and having to depend on them, instead of being able to do what i feel is appropriate, i've got my parents looking at me like 'do something, you cant just leave her like that!'. it's quite frustrating. we've got major issues ahead and this is only the beginning. we've had multiple talks about discipline and them being my children but nothing changes. sigh...