Toddler Discipline ... what works for you?

Well, the time has come that I must admit... I need help with the discipline! I mean, DH helps... but I need guidance. The biting, tantrums, throwing food on the floor,etc, etc, etc has become too much and I don't really KNOW the best way to handle these things other than my instincts and classroom management skills that really don't apply to toddlers! I tend to try things that are research based, but I just don't know where to begin (dragged the kids to a bookstore to find a book but there are SO many) and I don't have a ton of time to sift through the research so I figured I'd ask here and see if any of you like minded moms have suggestions for books I might read, strategies that I could look up or even just the name of someone that's an awesome discipline guru! I've got to get going on this! Gotta figure out "what" we're doing and get DH on board! TIA!!

 

I know this doesn't help you, but I'm so glad you asked this question. My boys are 10.5 mths, and I can see these issues coming up in the next few months. I can't wait to see what others say.

Thanks again for asking this question!
reb

 

At this age, it is a lot of distraction and redirection. Developmentally, true discipline really isn't going to work, they see it as attention, and they don't know the difference between good/bad attention, so to them any attention is good.

For tantrums, I would make sure they are in a space where they can't get hurt, and then ignore them--literally, turn your back. Once they calm down and come for a hug and comforting, that is when you give it. For one of mine, he would still be crying when I would cuddle with him, but I could just tell he was trying to calm down, but couldn't do it completely on his own.

For throwing food, take the food away until the next meal. They will learn quickly that throwing food means they don't get to eat anymore.

Biting is tougher, but with that, it was just super vigilance to try and catch them before they bit--we would then give them alternative like "no bite, kiss", and it really did work.

Hope this helps!

 

Yep, lots and lots of redirection. I said no and would turn them to do something else. They dont understand consequences at this age. The months of 12-18 were very frustrating for all of us. We started 1-2-3 Magic at 2 years old and now with them about to turn 3, they get it.

 

I agree with Rachel and Sharon, another book to throw out there is "Happiest Toddler on the Block" it explains why toddlers do what they do and how you can better communicate with them.

 

I love HTOTB. Some of it - Toddlerese - makes me feel silly, but it works!
We have started in the last couple months with timeouts, and I'm seeing results. We put them in another room and walk out and set a timer, so they don't like being away from the action.

 

Thanks girls! this is exactly the type of input i'm looking for. SO many people (cuz you know everyone around you has to throw in their two cents) offer advice and often, i just don't agree. I KNOW they don't understand cause and effect and therefore consequences... but that's about as much as I know LOL!! Friends come over and tell me what they do, meanwhile their child is acting out IMO for attention, and I'm like... are you sure? Sort of goes against my instincts and the little that I know about their developmental level. Let me check with my awesome twinstuff forum members.... they'll know!!!


and, i just did my first no bite, kiss! luv that idea!!

 

I felt silly doing some of the things recommended in Happiest Toddler on The Block. I really like 1-2-3 Magic and it's easy!!

 

I'm thankful for your honesty! I'm working on getting the 123 magic dvd as well. I don't know much about it other than what I read on another thread. Is it more effective for toddlers a bit older than mine? They are almost 16 months... If so, that's fine... I need to be one step ahead of them but am wondering if it'd be okay to try it out maybe after Christmas (since that's when i might be able to get the dvd or book) and HTOTB is on it's way from Amazon!

 

I think everyone has to find what works for them. I will say this though. Your kids DO know cause and effect. They know how to get what they want. They are not nearly as unaware as you think they are. Don't be fooled by that misconception. Its completely untrue.

 

1-2-3 Magic has a dvd too? I might look into that.

You got a few good examples from PP's. It's so difficult cause you want to act right away [nip it in the but before they forget what they were doing.. i.e. throwing food on the floor], and at the same time you have to think of the best action to take.

Good luck! And remember, you're not alone!